paranoid beginner in a whole new world

[2tea2]

Hi - new to all this as of this week. It's a whole new world of pain I wasn't aware of - but waking up to it every morning is horrible. I want to share our experience , support others and gain knowledge. Where would you suggest I start in terms of posting? I've read much of the fantastic support and information.
Thanks

[Scaredlad]

Hi, sorry to see you having to come on here. Most people seem to post their story up on own thread so can be followed by those seeking or giving advice. Just remember no names or precise locations as police monitor the forums and as you'll have seen reading not a lot of trust in the men in blue.

[2tea2]

Thanks Scaredlad. That's the paranoid part - someone could recognize us from the details. At the moment we're reeling at this accusation. There seems no comfort or relief from anywhere - except in reading other people's postings. I cannot believe the lack of protection for men of any age or situation - it's inhuman.

[Scaredlad]

It is absolute hell and the police seem to drag it out as well because they have "loads of cases on at the moment". Crazy that one person can destroy the life you knew. One positive though is I now know who my real friends are as they are the ones checking up on me every five minutes.
When this all started I told my best friend first, petrified that they would assume me guilty as I was arrested, instead they made time for me, offered emotional and financial support and keep an eye out for me. I will not lie and say justice will prevail as I'm scared of that myself at the moment but I will confirm that you will get so much help and support from both this forum and others around you.
You will probably struggle to trust people especially women for a bit but life starts to go on a little bit. It'll never be normal while the question mark still sits over you though I think.
If you want to post your story then feel free to PM me and I'll edit out anything I feel may identify you as found people knowing the story helped get me some tailored advice and support. I'm by no means an expert in any of this but can offer words of support and encouragement and pass on any advice I've been given.

[Casehardened]

If you want to post your story then feel free to PM me and I'll edit out anything I feel may identify you as found people knowing the story helped get me some tailored advice and support. I'm by no means an expert in any of this but can offer words of support and encouragement and pass on any advice I've been given.

NB She won't be able to use the pm system until she has been a member for 10 days (but of course there is no reason why she can't email you using the address on your profile page if she wants to take advantage of your kind offer)

[Scaredlad]

NB She won't be able to use the pm system until she has been a member for 10 days (but of course there is no reason why she can't email you using the address on your profile page if she wants to take advantage of your kind offer)

Thanks, didn't realise but feel free to email.

[2tea2]

Hi - thanks for your reply Scared Lad - I am actually female - and the accused is my son. I am heartbroken. Every time I look at him, I am heartbroken. I know he's innocent because I was here (at home) - thank sheer chuffing luck I have proof - when IT allegedly happened.....several months ago....but only just reported.
I swear that when this is over, one way or the other, I will be fighting for this cause. On any woman's whim, a man can be plunged in to despair and panic with no proof, evidence or reason. I thought it was daughters that needed protection - not so. Women - how do you keep your son safe from this? I dare not leave him on his own now because he is so down.

[2tea2]

Sorry Scared Lad - I didn't reply to your points. You're right - I know many 'powerful' women who are close friends and I dare not tell them- the PC thing at the moment is to believe the accuser and treat men as though automatically guilty (they must be 'women never lie'). The best friends are the ones you know you can tell and they sympathise . Our sons need a wake-up call.

[Scaredlad]

Just be there for him and that's all you can do. He will be struggling and if anything like me sh###ng himself going through every little who, what and why. Let him know about this site and read through it together, just don't dwell on any negatives as most of the people on here are in our positions, feeling scared. Keep strong and use this support network.

[2tea2]

Thankyou. The important thing is - we all understand how this happens - and that it is so unjust in every respect . My very best wishes to you .I'll look at your posts and be rooting for you.