21 days to go....

[hello88]

well... 21 days till next bail date, OH hasn't and wont phone to see if its gone to cps or not, i'm trying to work on how to beat the bail date monster and i am struggling as I've realised that the bail date falls in the middle of Easter holidays so all three children will be at home on the hardest day that I have to keep my emotions into check....

got social worker doing home visit tomorrow (which she wasn't going to do until i opened my big mouth.. long story) and then Child in need meeting on wednesday afternoon, wednesday evening parents evening to talk about my daughters bad school report (bad as in filled with "below expected age" and "distracted and not listening" which was similar to her first report but then i spent so much time and energy in building her up and helping her get a great report only to have this allegation throw her back down

so looking forward to this week being over, just want this nightmare to be over and OH to be home.. in the meantime, how is everyone else?? i know a couple of you are expecting an update of your situations around the same time, is it eating you lot up as well and any tips for staying sane lol??? !!!!! h xxxxxxx

[YearsOfHell]

H88
Just wanted to say that we will be thinking of you tomorrow, and with you're daughters meeting.
You've got a tough week ahead!
Our home visit was ok so I wouldn't worry too much.
Our SW was very fair.
I don't have any tips for staying sane, but just trust that you will get through it.
You will!
I really don't know how people get through this but they do.
Keeping busy is good even if it's difficult things you're dealing with.
How I have not gone nuts by now I will never know but I am still here.
Keep strong!
Big hugs
YoH

[Lilyput]

Sorry hun can really really sympathize. Maybe the school will look at putting things in place to help her gain confidence? I was so wary at first but it really has worked wonders in my little man.

Hope meeting with SS goes well they seem to be really pleased with you from what you've said so I'm sure one bad report won't change that. All children struggle from time to time, it helped to think with my son that there were other children also struggle who had very normal home lives. So she may have needed a little regardless of her Dad being away, as they all catch up and develop differently.

As for distractions, I think working towards small goals is awesome. Like a little craft project or a bit of spring cleaning. I went for a run last week and even though i realized how unfit i was lol it was a good distraction. Also if there are family members you can stay with to get away for the weekend i'd personally do. Every few weeks i run off down my father-in-laws, it keeps me sane! My house is the house the letter will come to, my house could have someone bang on the door or get the horrid phone call, his isn't and that just helps lol.

[Aidy]

Same bail date as me, exept mine as been with the cps since Dec!
I really don't know which way it's going to go?
Part of me thinks it's laughable that the cps could even have the gaul to charge me with the tripe the accuser came out with!
The other part thinks (and I do genuinely believe) that I will be charged!
The reason for this is because I think the cps will find her lies too juicy (even though they do contradict themselves!
Thats assuming I even get a decision either way on the 5th?
Could be more waiting?

Just keep your head high and I wish you all the best x

Ps dont spend too much on my Easter egg : )

[hello88]

aww thank you for all your replies... well whilst panicking and mopping the floor today got phonecall to say sw isn't doing a home visit and she will just see me at the Child in need meeting tomorrow (yay!!!! i stopped mopping, collapsed on sofa and breaaattthhheeed) she has visited before and i am grateful that i do actually have a good sw (well compared to others and the one i had when on child protection) but it bugs me knowing that she is being friendly talking to my children, questioning them when actually she's finding out if they say anything that they can use for a reason to take my children away (i may be exaggerating but that's what it feels like) and also my girls have pulled or their clothing out their drawers and i cant be bothered to tidy it away today LOL!!!

Had a good chat with my friend who's an ex social worker outside the school gate and she was reassuring me that actually, with the children being so young they will move on from this, they will forget, and they will forget the pain. So at least I have come home and for the first time in weeks thought, there is a chance that my children won't be long term physiologically damaged!!!

Aidy - yeah, i'm just going through this thinking the worse but OH thought that the sw cancelling home visit is a good sign???? (this is also after prosponing the meeting from last week to this week) but i really don't think so, its hard,

Lilyput - yeah the school so far have been brilliant, but my 6 years old teacher is soo young and its her first teaching post so it is aqward and difficult in some ways. I'm semi looking forward to it though, i'm going into both meetings full mother mode and gonna come up with a proper plan to help my children. I've had enough of feeling miserable and surviving day to day.....

I've been spending the whole time decluttering the house, and i just brought annie sloan paint so i'm gonna keep myself busy by sorting out my bedroom, ready for when OH comes home... hopefully!!!!

but will keep you all updated... its the not knowing thats the hardest!