Accussed of sexual assault by digital penetration.

[Scaredlad]

Still a little bit I think, just can't believe people could do anything like this to someone. Plus reading how corrupt the police are when dealing with an allegation of this nature doesn't help. Got to try and explain to my best mate of 20+ years that when I meet her tomorrow it has to be in a public place and I have to meet her there as too scared to have anyone in my car with me. Trust her with my life but being alone with anyone now scares the **** out of me.

[Franticwithworry]

Still a little bit I think, just can't believe people could do anything like this to someone. Plus reading how corrupt the police are when dealing with an allegation of this nature doesn't help. Got to try and explain to my best mate of 20+ years that when I meet her tomorrow it has to be in a public place and I have to meet her there as too scared to have anyone in my car with me. Trust her with my life but being alone with anyone now scares the **** out of me.

Hopefully you'll feel a bit better when you have the support and understanding of your best friend.

[Malkie]

I'm suffering from depression too. I also find it difficult to 'mix' with others, even in everyday situations like shopping in the supermarket. I even refuse to enter certain aisles if there are children there. I must look shady too - several days' worth of beard growth (I simply cant be bothered to look after my appearance properly) and I walk everywhere with my eyes cast downwards.

People who make these FAs simply don't realise the harm their lies cause - they CANT know.

Today's not a good day for me. I hope things improve for you.

[Staystrong1]

Hi Malkie
i can feel the distress in your post. When OH was accused I suffered terribly with stress and anxiety and it wasnt even me accused, fely exactly like you for a long time. Today is a bad day but hopefully tomorrow will be better and in time you will have more good days than bad. You are quite right the FA will never know what they have done. It wrecks lives and families but keep going, you know you are innocent and no-one can take that away from you. Sending positive hugs to you and your familyx

[Scaredlad]

Hi Malkie,

It is pure hell, had interview today for a new job, two one-on-one interviews, both women. Took me all my energy not to run away. We'll get through all of this and clear our names. Think its the question mark hanging over us that causes it all.

[Malkie]

Yep - the old "there's no smoke without fire" brigade. That's MY biggest concern; you get labelled with this type of accusation and for some it simply HAS to be the truth....

Stay strong and keep a clear head.

[hello88]

Anyone got any tips for evidence gathering. Part of her claim was that I locked her in the car but checked now I've got it back and even if locked the doors automatically open from the inside. I also have one of the notes FA wrote in work that shows she lead the flirting. Should I email the DC in charge of case with the photos/video of the note and me showing car opens from inside and the release is on the passenger side of central dash any way.
Also when should I get a solicitor as seen post charge and ASAP on here. Plus got no money and lost job over this already.

can't you purchase a manual (if you don't have the original not in the car) or one of those haynes books for the make & model of your car, and find the page about the locking system? I made the 'mistake' of passing loads of info to Officer in charge, but before i found this thread, don't know if it helped our case as still on pre-charged bail but kinda wished i kept it to myself reading some of the stories on here so if i was you i would keep quite about the car locking because that would throw things alot if it got as far as court.. if that makes sense? Maybe you could even do a video showing your car, reg and all then you sitting in it, locking and then unlocking the appropriate door, yet again, keep it to yourself for a just-in-case scenario. both of those things could help.

Keep strong h xxx

[Scaredlad]

That's great advice not thought about manuals. Will gather therm all together and start making documents.

[Scaredlad]

Hi one of the things I noticed in FA's statement was time descrepencies of how long we were in coffee shop, car park and second car park. The police said they'd get the coffee shop CCTV but will they get car park footage as well as shows car on passenger side of mine moving (she could have got help) and several police in the area. Can I check with OIC if got all CCTV and is there away I can get a copy to start building a defence case up ready?

[Scaredlad]

Contacted OIC and he said can't have phone back incase needed for court. Later got me to ring him so I could provide them with a note FA wrote to me and said his investigation was nearly done. Said CPS should take 28 days but as busy may be up to two months. Does it mean they're recommending charges if going CPS or do all files go to them? Said I would be first to know if any quicker. Do you think this is a hint he thinks FA may come clean about her lies? Apparently they checked car locks at impound though BTW. :-)

[Scaredlad]

Does anyone know if the OIC will keep solicitor updated as to where he's at. Was told going to CPS by OIC weeks ago and when asked today got told file had still not been sent. Had got myself ready for a decision end of week now back to square one. Its destroyed the little bit of confidence I'd clawed back as now may have to disclose to new employer as work in similar area to FA and by old workplace where cannot talk to people as witnesses for prosecution, despite as a solicitor told me they can't be as only me and FA witnessed what happened during the alleged incident.
Just want to know what OIC is tinking. Is it good he's not put to CPS straight away? I'm terrified and am at my wits end. Have to go back to family and friends every weekend as don't trust myself to be alone.

[YearsOfHell]

The OIC won't contact your solicitor, it's usually the other way round.
The solicitor will contact the OIC close to or on the bail dates.
This is just to confirm whether they need to attend with you for re interview or charge or if they are just going to ReBail, for which the solicitor isn't usually needed.
The waiting is hell on earth but you have to just hang in there!
Nothing will speed it up.
Try not to read too much into what's going on. You'll do your own head in.
You can check with your solicitor about what to tell your employer.
There may be certain legal ramifications, and you really don't need any more trouble right now.
It's best to resign yourself to the fact that it's going to be a long time and then accept it.
Be strong, you'll get through it!!
YoH

[Alex314]

From what you've said I'm pretty sure no jury in the land could convict you, she sounds absolutely bonkers. You have texts that show you were romanticly involved, plus messages explaining she still likes you after the event and that somebody is just s### stirring. You will be fine but it will take a long time for this to be over.
Good luck mate!

[Scaredlad]

Hoping to hear off CPS shortly but was wondering what police sending to CPS means? Does it mean they are reccomending a charge or does it have to go to CPS due to nature of the accusation? Just getting very worried with whats going to happen next, me and all my friends know the truth but do the OIC & CPS? Plus you guys are great and have huge combined knowledge so if you answer for me sure someone else can read as well. Thanks.

[joebloggs]

Hi mate.

From my understanding. Now days because the police can't decide to charge on most matters. The case has to be sent to the CPS for their consideration. Lots of members on here have been told that they won't be sent to the CPS but then that's been reversed on as due to "the nature of the alleged offence" it is protocol to send it over.

The wait time all depends on your area and caseload. The current wait time for a specialist prosecuted to look at it in my area is 6-8 months. Some it's only a few weeks.

Look at it as more time to prepare your defense.

Jb