Feeling low

[Kittykat23]

I have no idea what to do my partner has completely gone downhill he was sectioned but not under the mental health got discharged a week ago and then staying in a homeless shelter from last weekend till now and I don't know what's happened for him to go so downhill but his taken an overdose yesterday of paracetamol and pro-plus 40 altogether and last I heard he was in a&e I haven't heard from him since this evening I just don't know how I can help him or support him it's like his given up fighting not just for his innocence but also for his 2 sons 1 that's not even born yet and the other is nearly 15 months old it's just so hard and the people who make up these FA his half sisters get to live there life and I've got some stuff off fb off the eldest just in case he does get charged but I just don't think his going to even reach his bail date at this rate or even see this through till the end :'( feeling really emotional and so hard because I know his innocent but has to be proven and that's the hard thing about it as even his mum and brother know he is too and they've done statements to try and help his case don't know what more I can do or say at this present time hard on everyone involved :'(

[farmer42]

I have been accused by my sister it really is the most awful thing, i do feel your partners pain and yours but you always have to keep in mind this is not forever it will pass and one day be out of your mind. Stay strong be brave and all the best. X

[Lilyput]

The positive thing is he went to A and E on some level he must want to live hun.
This must be so worrying and devastating maybe he would be better off staying in hospital for a little while so the stress doesn't cause him to do anything he'd regret?

Try you hardest to stay patient and don't get frustrated with him when it seems like he's given up. People who are suicidal aren't thinking of anybody else as they generally feel they aren't any good to anybody.

Keep your friends and family close and maybe get a baby sitter for a few hours so you can do something to take your mind off all this, once you know he's okay. Remember your allowed to take a day off for this hell, your allowed to catch a movie, or go on a trip somewhere, it doesn't mean you care about the outcome any less. I really hope things get better for you soon!

[wakingnightmare]

If he was at A & E he is in the right place. They will need to be a psychiatric assessment if he overdosed. It could be they decide to section again given the situation or he could ask for a voluntary section. Perhaps his Mum could seek to have him sectioned as his next of kin.

I think you need to forget about the allegations, there is nothing more you can do at this point and you're making yourself ill worrying. I realise that sounds hard but you must try, you've two children and Mr KK needs a level of care greater than you can give right now. Carry on offering support by all means and letting him know you're there for him. At this moment in time his mental health needs sorting before he can begin to deal with the allegations. Bear in mind his mental health problems will sometimes lead him to say or do things that his well self would never do and right now he's in a very dark place. Sadly there is no quick fix to his problems.

Hugs to you all

[Kittykat23]

If he was at A & E he is in the right place. They will need to be a psychiatric assessment if he overdosed. It could be they decide to section again given the situation or he could ask for a voluntary section. Perhaps his Mum could seek to have him sectioned as his next of kin.

I think you need to forget about the allegations, there is nothing more you can do at this point and you're making yourself ill worrying. I realise that sounds hard but you must try, you've two children and Mr KK needs a level of care greater than you can give right now. Carry on offering support by all means and letting him know you're there for him. At this moment in time his mental health needs sorting before he can begin to deal with the allegations. Bear in mind his mental health problems will sometimes lead him to say or do things that his well self would never do and right now he's in a very dark place. Sadly there is no quick fix to his problems.

Hugs to you all

Update his been put on a ward at the moment and been sectioned again so looks like he'll be back in the place he started of at but least they can look after him and make sure he takes his medication. He has apologised and I feel bad because made me angry not to the fact he took an overdose but that he didn't think of his children. I just hope his mental health won't jeopardise these false allegations his lost too much through them and I do get that's hard but I just hope he can carry on fighting till the end as I want him to clear his name and get an NFA or at least a not guilty verdict. I will still support him by being here if he needs to talk or rant but not a lot I can do other than that.

Thank you all for the support

[Lilyput]

Aw hun I'm glad he is in the right place now and I hope you are okay after such a shock. Don't forget to get support for yourself to in this difficult time. You need to be strong for your family and the pressure of that can be so overwhelming.

As for it effecting his case RF Do you know if they police can put him under the stress of a trial if he's been sectioned under the mental health act, surely that's not on?

[Franticwithworry]

Update his been put on a ward at the moment and been sectioned again so looks like he'll be back in the place he started of at but least they can look after him and make sure he takes his medication. He has apologised and I feel bad because made me angry not to the fact he took an overdose but that he didn't think of his children. I just hope his mental health won't jeopardise these false allegations his lost too much through them and I do get that's hard but I just hope he can carry on fighting till the end as I want him to clear his name and get an NFA or at least a not guilty verdict. I will still support him by being here if he needs to talk or rant but not a lot I can do other than that.

Thank you all for the support

I know it's probably hard to understand, but if he's feeling low enough to take an overdose, in that moment, he's incapable of thinking of his children - or anything else for that matter. It's incredibly hard for both of you at the moment. He will be looked after for now, so please be sure to take good care of yourself too. Dealing with all of this is difficult enough when you know that it's justified punishment for wrongdoing, but when there is no wrongdoing in the first place it's indescribably worse.

I'm surprised that more people falsely accused and their supportive friends and family don't suffer complete breakdowns, the pressure the system puts them under, to be honest, and as you say, all you can do for the moment is be as supportive as you can - and come and get support here when you need it too.

[wakingnightmare]

He is in the best place to start to heal KK. This wasn't about him not thinking of the children or you so pleased don't think like that. He's in utter despair right now.

Try not to worry too much about the allegations at this stage or what could happen. Look after yourself

[Faith]

He is in the best place to start to heal KK. This wasn't about him not thinking of the children or you so pleased don't think like that. He's in utter despair right now.

Try not to worry too much about the allegations at this stage or what could happen. Look after yourself

Indeed - when one hits this point, there is no logic or thought process. The situation takes over and overwhelms.

Look after yourself. x

[Franticwithworry]

Update his been put on a ward at the moment and been sectioned again so looks like he'll be back in the place he started of at but least they can look after him and make sure he takes his medication. He has apologised and I feel bad because made me angry not to the fact he took an overdose but that he didn't think of his children. I just hope his mental health won't jeopardise these false allegations his lost too much through them and I do get that's hard but I just hope he can carry on fighting till the end as I want him to clear his name and get an NFA or at least a not guilty verdict. I will still support him by being here if he needs to talk or rant but not a lot I can do other than that.

Thank you all for the support

I've been thinking about you a lot and had a thought that may or may not help, depending on the area of the country you live in and what kind of support services are available local to you. However, it might be worth contacting your OH's local council, just a quick phone call, to ask if they have any supported housing in the area your OH lives in.

If they do, it's worth him, or his Mum on his behalf if she's visiting him in hospital, asking whoever is going to deal with his discharge, if there might be a bed available for him and if so how to access it. It would be better than a homeless hostel, more supportive, and if it's anything like the services that were available to someone I know a while ago, a godsend that helped then get back on their feet when they were suicidal. In that case, they had to go to the council office in the morning, see a housing officer and wait until they came up with something but they did, by lunchtime. It was a bit hairy, as the street was the only alternative, but they had temporary, supported housing for 2 months that night and moved on from there to something more permanent. They never spent a night on the streets.

Sometimes it's a question of asking the right person the right question and not getting offered things because services are so overstretched. I think it's harder for men too who are expected to fend for themselves more.

It's just a thought anyway, that was doing you no good staying in my head.

[Kittykat23]

I've been thinking about you a lot and had a thought that may or may not help, depending on the area of the country you live in and what kind of support services are available local to you. However, it might be worth contacting your OH's local council, just a quick phone call, to ask if they have any supported housing in the area your OH lives in.

If they do, it's worth him, or his Mum on his behalf if she's visiting him in hospital, asking whoever is going to deal with his discharge, if there might be a bed available for him and if so how to access it. It would be better than a homeless hostel, more supportive, and if it's anything like the services that were available to someone I know a while ago, a godsend that helped then get back on their feet when they were suicidal. In that case, they had to go to the council office in the morning, see a housing officer and wait until they came up with something but they did, by lunchtime. It was a bit hairy, as the street was the only alternative, but they had temporary, supported housing for 2 months that night and moved on from there to something more permanent. They never spent a night on the streets.

Sometimes it's a question of asking the right person the right question and not getting offered things because services are so overstretched. I think it's harder for men too who are expected to fend for themselves more.

It's just a thought anyway, that was doing you no good staying in my head.

They were looking into one supported house for my oh but it's just a waiting game to see if they will accept him and he was on the streets last night as hospital discharged him and you have to be at the homeless shelter where he was staying by 8 to get a bed.

The oh has only got 21 days to his bail date but got a phone call from his solicitor today saying his more than likely to get charged as the way they look at it is why would children lie well 2 sisters from the same household yet there parents threw allegations last year but apparently doesn't make a difference so I'm now looking into being moved for mine and my sons sake as it'll hit the local papers if he is charged.

Going to be less support out there for him now and I think he'll be more at risk if he is charged with nowhere safe to live his family have pretty much won and destroyed his life!

[Lilyput]

Hugs this is so heart wrenching First of all huni he may not be charged you honestly never know what the CPS will do. Also you really don't know if it will hit the papers, many cases don't. Maybe wait and see before you plan a move, dw i've had these same thoughts myself planned a name change and everything at one point. But don't make yourself sick with worry about something that may not happen, just take one day at a time and deal with problems as they arise.

I know this is all easy for me to say. Praying for you. Big love.

[Kittykat23]

Hugs this is so heart wrenching First of all huni he may not be charged you honestly never know what the CPS will do. Also you really don't know if it will hit the papers, many cases don't. Maybe wait and see before you plan a move, dw i've had these same thoughts myself planned a name change and everything at one point. But don't make yourself sick with worry about something that may not happen, just take one day at a time and deal with problems as they arise.

I know this is all easy for me to say. Praying for you. Big love.

I have no idea how all this works but first time we've heard from the solicitor since he got interviewed and she said it's more than likely he will get charged but could still be rebailed but he won't be interviewed no more that's all we know it's just waiting on cps I think from what my oh said. I got told it would hit the local papers I'm so confused and that was by a professional but knowing his family they would want it in the papers so everyone knew I'm being made to move so don't have a choice as his family are too high risk and my oh and his mental health is also high risk social services want me completely out of the area this is making me exhausted and ill at the moment as all I do is worry just can't help it

[farmer42]

Keep going you will both pull through.

[Franticwithworry]

I have no idea how all this works but first time we've heard from the solicitor since he got interviewed and she said it's more than likely he will get charged but could still be rebailed but he won't be interviewed no more that's all we know it's just waiting on cps I think from what my oh said. I got told it would hit the local papers I'm so confused and that was by a professional but knowing his family they would want it in the papers so everyone knew I'm being made to move so don't have a choice as his family are too high risk and my oh and his mental health is also high risk social services want me completely out of the area this is making me exhausted and ill at the moment as all I do is worry just can't help it

Oh, my goodness! It's so unfair that young men like your OH are left floundering. Are Social Services wanting you out of the area for your safety? Please try to just take each day as it comes. Getting ill through worry is miserable so don't be afraid to ask your doctor for help if you need to.