accused while asleep, awaiting bail, advice and anecdotes?

[leftbehind]

I know same here with the ridiculous story! Police even said there was nothing in it and was going to recommend no further action, but it got send it CPS anyway (ggrrr). I do cry in front of my OH because he knew this girl was a bit unhinged and told tall tales and still let her stay. He doesn't deserve to go to prison but his kindness? idiocy? could ruin our whole lives and as much as i love him... i hate him a little bit for his poor decision making. I've always disliked friends from when he was in college and this confirms they just made him act like a numpty!
We have an amazing church, but have lost a lot of friends over this to be honest will be so much worse if he is charged.
Hope your okay, you must still be in a great deal of shock as it's still early days, hope the police can drop it before sending it to CPS for you guys <3

That doesn't make sense at all, why would they forward it to the CPS? That's terribly unnecessary if an NFA was recommended. I hope they don't hang onto the case for long and give you that NFA! I'm on the same boat here about hating him a little for poor choice of friends... I've always been wary of folks who never grow out of the party and binge drinking lifestyle, this just confirmed my poor opinion of his choice of company.

[leftbehind]

Remember, he's in panic mode and things may change once he knows you're here. There's every chance he'll be thanking you for standing by him in the end. What a distance to come! What we do for love eh? Don't give up hope yet. Do you know if his Mum has found this site too? I'll be happy to be in touch with you via PM. My 10 days are up soon so if I can PM you first I will.

Meanwhile, I'm sure you've got a lot to do to prepare for your move that will keep you busy, and lots of changes when you get here to keep you busy too. That's a blessing in a way. I hope you get time to spend with his parents too, as I'll bet you can be a big support to one another.

Thank you so much for the support. It means a lot to have people who understand what's happening. I read in another one of your posts that you're reluctant to post about your situation, if you're comfortable enough on PM I'll be more than glad to listen.

His mum is allergic to technology, but she seems to be the one who's the most upbeat and positive about everything that's happening. It's nice to have a seemingly infinitely positive person to bounce my worries off but I try not to abuse it.

[Franticwithworry]

I know same here with the ridiculous story! Police even said there was nothing in it and was going to recommend no further action, but it got send it CPS anyway (ggrrr). I do cry in front of my OH because he knew this girl was a bit unhinged and told tall tales and still let her stay. He doesn't deserve to go to prison but his kindness? idiocy? could ruin our whole lives and as much as i love him... i hate him a little bit for his poor decision making. I've always disliked friends from when he was in college and this confirms they just made him act like a numpty!
We have an amazing church, but have lost a lot of friends over this to be honest will be so much worse if he is charged.
Hope your okay, you must still be in a great deal of shock as it's still early days, hope the police can drop it before sending it to CPS for you guys <3

I've been told that if the accusations are serious enough, it has to go to CPS regardless, but I'm getting so much conflicting information I don't know what to believe. All I know for sure is that worst case scenario is that my man could be sentenced to life, the accusations are so bad, and as we're getting on a bit in age, that means he could die in prison and I could spend all my retirement on my own for no good reason other than some of my family believe their own fantasies and the authorities believe them too.

It's hard to remain positive with that hanging over our heads. There's a lot of family history that made life pretty miserable anyway, but taking the accusations to the police is just beyond anything we imagined could happen. Worst case scenario x lots.

[Franticwithworry]

Thank you so much for the support. It means a lot to have people who understand what's happening. I read in another one of your posts that you're reluctant to post about your situation, if you're comfortable enough on PM I'll be more than glad to listen.

His mum is allergic to technology, but she seems to be the one who's the most upbeat and positive about everything that's happening. It's nice to have a seemingly infinitely positive person to bounce my worries off but I try not to abuse it.

Mums can be fantastic. Hopefully yours is in the picture and can offer some support too, even though it will be at a distance when you move. Thank you for your offer. In fact, though I'm terrified of putting things online, the fact that all this is an escalation of several members of my family being on some sort of vendetta for reasons best known to themselves seems to be common enough for me to be a little less worried. That's the nuts and bolts of it. Who is doing what to whom matters less than the fact that someone's lies may have my man in prison for the rest of his life. How does one prove a negative over something that's alleged to have happened years ago?

[leftbehind]

Mums can be fantastic. Hopefully yours is in the picture and can offer some support too, even though it will be at a distance when you move. Thank you for your offer. In fact, though I'm terrified of putting things online, the fact that all this is an escalation of several members of my family being on some sort of vendetta for reasons best known to themselves seems to be common enough for me to be a little less worried. That's the nuts and bolts of it. Who is doing what to whom matters less than the fact that someone's lies may have my man in prison for the rest of his life. How does one prove a negative over something that's alleged to have happened years ago?

I don't like laying it all out on a public forum, I'm too paranoid and distrustful of the police and potential false accusers learning tips so to speak, so I understand. My family likes to lie low so saying anything about this to my mum will just set her on the path of 'not worth the heartache' speech. Whenever I search for false accusations, results seem to be largely concentrated in the UK, I don't know what's up with that. I don't know if there's money involved for the accuser or if it's a combination of wanting some drama in their lives combined with the local law being very zealous on their witch hunts. Why isn't there a limit on historic cases? That doesn't make any sense at all.