A rant really can't do this anymore

[Lilyput]

Four months in and I already can't take anymore. I've lost most of my friends have a child who's behaviour has turned into something I can't control, I live everyday in constant fear. Lost job opportunities put off a move that had already been postponed a year. It took me so long to build confidence and make friends and get my life the way I wanted it, even if it is NFA all of that is lost, I don't even have the energy to build it all up again for something else to tear it down. Sorry I know so many of you are in worse situations but living in this constant terror isn't really living at all and the worst could still be yet to come. I just don't have the strength to keep it together and keep going anymore, I just want to die or run away.

[lazy lass]

You sound so desperate, I hope you are getting some kind of support from somewhere, you will find inner strength from somewhere to carry on. These cruel people that falsely accuse some one don't realise what impact it has on the accused and their families. It's a dangerous game they play. Keep your chin up sorry I'm not much help, keep posting on here others will be able to offer advice, your not on your own.

[Neophyte]

Hello Lilyput,

I am so sorry to read that you're so low. I can't offer you any practical help at all, I'm afraid. I just wanted to extend my sympathies to you in your plight. I've read your posts, and share your frustration. The not knowing aspect is very difficult to deal with, but it seems that it's par for the course.

All I have to offer are platitudes, and sympathy. So, in that spirit, I really hope that things pick up for you. Hopefully the sun will be shining tomorrow, and things will feel a little lighter for you. It will be one day nearer to your nightmare being over.

Take care.

[AmandaF]

Hi Lily!!

I am so so sorry to read this- you sound so desperate.

I don't really have any words of comfort because everything seems so stark.
All i can say is i have been through some of my darkest days, hours , months , years with every day bringing something new to contend with, but I'm still here , still clinging to the hope that something in our future will be better than where we are now.

I know how you feel when you say you either want to die or run away- stark choices indeed but one way or another you will be through all this one day.

[Aidy]

Lilyput, don't you dare give up now!
I know its been awful for you, and the waiting is just damn right awful!!

Let me tell you something, there are a few people on here who have dragged me up, when ive had enough....one of these people was you!

I think in life, friends come and go..
We all go through situations in life that are crappy, none more so than our own situations!!!

Please try and weather the storm Lilyput....you are such an amazing person, and I know deep down you can get through this!!!!

I also think in a way, its good you posted what you did...
Its ok when things are going ok, however we are all here to support each other, and get help when we need it also!

Take care Lilyput and god bless x

[Arsenal12]

Four months in and I already can't take anymore. I've lost most of my friends have a child who's behaviour has turned into something I can't control, I live everyday in constant fear. Lost job opportunities put off a move that had already been postponed a year. It took me so long to build confidence and make friends and get my life the way I wanted it, even if it is NFA all of that is lost, I don't even have the energy to build it all up again for something else to tear it down. Sorry I know so many of you are in worse situations but living in this constant terror isn't really living at all and the worst could still be yet to come. I just don't have the strength to keep it together and keep going anymore, I just want to die or run away.

Lilyput......YOU WILL PULL THROUGH!!!!......

it IS VERY normal for you to FEEL all of These Up and down emotions..........(we all feel this way from time to time)

You have COME so far.........

Do NOT GIVE IN NOW.......

don't lose focus on your GOAL.......(your goal being reunited with your OH and you children)......


You are JUGGLING a hundred emotions....at once........

You are JUGGLING... A hundred tasks....at once.......

You are PROVIDING tremendous Support for your OH.......

YOU are being A MARVILOUS MOTHER to your Children.....

.............you are doing a MARVILOUS JOB........

Many members CAN ONLY DREAM.....OF HAVING SUCH A WONDERFUL LOYAL PARTNER BY THEIR SIDE......like YOU


You will HAVE EMOTIONAL Peaks.......

We ALL do......

This is normal.....

Because we ARE ALL VICTIMS.........OF A INSTITUTIONAL CORRUPT FALSE ALLEGATION SYSTEM.....


You ARE STRONGER THAN YOU think...........

You will..............Accomplish.......your goals.........


Empty your mind.................take a breather..............RE FOCUS...........re Charge your battries............


one..... DAY.......YOU.........WILL.........be so PROUD............OF how you accomplished your goals through such a traumatic time.......

But more importantly.........


Your CHILDREN will..........be the MOST PROUDEST CHILDREN IN THE WORLD.............


to HAVE such a SUPER MUMMY....LIKE YOU...........



HAVE FAITH........... STAND TALL...........WALK STRONG..............AND hold your OWN.......

KIND REGARDS
BEST WISHES
A12

[TBG1]

Lily,

If you click on your username, you can then click 'View Forum Posts'.

This will give you access to all of your previous posts chronologically.

If you go back to the "beginning" (your first posts), you will see the frame of mind that you met us all with four months ago. And I bet you'll be shocked at how horrible you felt at that time. At how desperate for answers you were. You needed those answers. NOW.

Since then, You've been unfortunate enough to witness many others enter the forum at exactly the same point (mentally). But you have then been the one (one of the ones) supporting them as they enter this "dark world".

The point of this is, take a look at how far you've come over the last 4 months...from the kind lady who was beside herself with anger, grief, confusion and whatever else...to someone who for brief moments, set aside her own "hell" purely to offer help, advice & support to others.

Rather than get overly concerned, I take heart from tonight's post...it doesn't mean you've "gone backwards" or "finally broke"....it just means that the real you ... The person you were the day before all this started..still exists.

That really is a good thing.. It means that when "the dream day" comes, you now know there's enough of you left to know that everything can be OK again.

Everything is not alright right now. But now (I think), at least you know that when it is...there'll be enough of "you" left to grab it with both hands and squeeze tightly.

Keep posting. And by all means, keep ranting - never apologise for doing so.


Best Wishes,


TBG1

[carrot tops]

Vent your feelings here. I was too paranoid to post during our ordeal but it helped reading what others were going through and seeing them come out the other side.

At times my flesh would crawl with the all consuming pain of it all, the stupid unbelievable injustice. I really believe that falsely accused people can get their lives back. When you're totally broken something new can be rebuilt. One day this will be over.

There are things happening in my life now that have me buzzing with excitement like a little child. Hang on in there. The truth will out.

[hello88]

You're having a bad day.... and you are allowed to!

Being a mum is a hard job anyway, school stuff, dinners, poorly children, grumpy children, stroppy children (stroppy husbands) but this makes everything seem 100 times harder, with such an allegation having over your family and not being alowed any hope for the future, not knowing what the future holds.

Unfortunately no matter how hard we try and hide how we feel, our kids do pick up on it. I have found that talking to my kids about how i feel helps alot... "sorry mummy shouted at you, i overacted,mummy's tired today, and upset as i'm missing daddy". We've explained that there are some people who are being mean to mummy and daddy and that the police are looking into it (also explains why the local pcso visits alot lol) and so i say "mummy sad because the mean things happening are making mummy feel upset today" ..

i say it helps alot... but it doesnt cure and my 6 year old has had some bad bad weeks, but not even the parenting course can give advice on it arghhhhh!!!!!

my best and unfourtantly only suggestion for really bad days is grab some pizza's to bung in the oven and put on a film, forget homework, routine, and all that and just snuggle up as a family and watch a film (even if it is frozen for the 600th time) sometimes its alright for you all to have a break and chill, its needed

keep strong and it will pay of xxx

[Lilyput]

Thanks so much for your replies everyone. Was really struggling yesterday as got called into my son's class as he is struggling with his work and behavior at school. The teachers been brilliant about making sure he isn't being left behind and can see we're working towards the same goal, but I still just feel like the worst mother in the world. He's never had ANY issues before
Now petrified of this false allegation attracting SS involvement as I feel like if i'm assessed I'll be found not good enough!
So much has changed for him, he hardly sees his little friends outside of school as the other Mums don't want to know anymore.
Trying my best to keep going thanks everybody for your kind words the ripple effect of these false allegations are just huge no area of your life seems untouched.

[can it get worse]

Hi - all those replies are so spot on. Brought a tear to my eye.

It's so easy to feel down in all this....... you are doing brilliantly, you sound like a very caring mum and have been a tremendous support to others.

I do not have any advise apart from encouragement and reassurance that you will get through this.

It is so very difficult when as a mum, we are trying to protect our children and trying to maintain their security and happiness. I still shudder now when I think back to it all.

Hang on in there . xx

[slowdown73]

I really feel for you. It sounds like you're suffering from some of the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Your self confidence has clearly been badly knocked through the false accusation. I think it's important you get some support. You may need some help from your G.P. to enable you to cope a bit better during this difficult period. Also, there are support organisations which offer counselling. Don't allow this situation to continue to control your life.

[hello88]

Thanks so much for your replies everyone. Was really struggling yesterday as got called into my son's class as he is struggling with his work and behavior at school. The teachers been brilliant about making sure he isn't being left behind and can see we're working towards the same goal, but I still just feel like the worst mother in the world. He's never had ANY issues before
Now petrified of this false allegation attracting SS involvement as I feel like if i'm assessed I'll be found not good enough!
So much has changed for him, he hardly sees his little friends outside of school as the other Mums don't want to know anymore.
Trying my best to keep going thanks everybody for your kind words the ripple effect of these false allegations are just huge no area of your life seems untouched.

those comments make me know that you are a good mum, yes your son is struggling but you've gone into the school to help, you are working towards the same goal, and you feel like the worst mother in the world because you CARE, its the ones who kids are failing and everything and they just blame the school or something. So from my eyes i already see that you will be found more than good enough. Just like you your children will have good weeks and bad weeks, if the ss did an assesment they will speak to the school as well and yes there is always a few minor issues (no variation in pack lunch or mum lost the hairbrush one day and didn't brush childs hair ect...) but your school will highlight that you are working with them and working hard to bring your childs education back to how it should be, even though you are going through a difficult time and that is whats important, and that means that you will be found more than good enough

keep strong things will get easier xxxxx

[edinguy]

As someone who has gone through it I can only sympathise with the anger, fear and feeling of hopelessness you are feeling just now.

I had many of those days and maybe more of them that ‘normal’ days but it doesn’t last forever although it seems it will. I felt the exact same way as you throughout my ordeal of 2 years but support from my partner, loved ones and friends kept me going. You are most definitely not alone in all of this and sadly many are in the same situation but here you will see it doesn’t have to be bottled all up inside and knowing others here are going through it with you is a kind of comfort.

As you can see above there are people out there thinking about you and offering some sound advice.

I hope todays a better one for you.

[Lucky]

Keep your head up

there are lots of ppl here who are supporting you and have gone thru the same thing

see if you can get in touch with any support grps local to where you live.

just DONT GIVE UP !!