How is everyone????

[hello88]

Hi there,

sorry havent been on here much, trying to work hard on being a better mum and wife and been a hell of a couple of weeks. No news regarding investigation.... having to get counselling for my 6 year old daughter because of this accusation. (even writing that has brought me to tears). Obviously havent done a good enough job in trying to be a strong positive mum. After 8 months i've ended up crying in the school cloakroom. After the teacher had to peel a crying screaming child of me who didn't want to go to school incase daddy came home. Just got to the stage were i feel like i have done everything i can and now its just waiting, which is the hardest bit. I admit i'm a bit of a control freak and everything is just out of my control. Even on how to help my daughters Had a couple of huge arguments with hubby over phone (lasting till 2am in the morning) and hoping my kids didn't hear, . but in the morning they brought in a collection of teddy's for me, which i'm guessing meant they did hear lol - i've ended up physically harming myself in the last couple of weeks because i feel at such a brick wall sometimes so am back on anti depressants, and even though it means im crying less and can get through to the end of the day, i do feel like i have no emotion. (in that well known state of zombie mode)

A bit positive though as 'rumour has it' the social services have come down hard on one of the families involved - about their past (they've found the truth about it hopefully), and also the accusers havent been seen walking round town at all (which is rare). Despite the arguments hubby and i have got a lot of our chests and realised a lot. And i guess part of me have thought that God feels like' i'm not ready for things to go back to normal, or he doesn't want things to go back to normal he is still working hard in our lifes, through this storm, and he wants me to learn a few more things before he brings my hubby home so that things afterwards are better than normal. Although i am tired of just praying the same prayer.

Sooooooo, how is everyone else??? Was hoping to dish out a few banana's but i guess there still ripeneing... good week / bad week or like me just glad you've got through another week??

Despite me not being on here much am still praying for you all,

[Arsenal12]

Really sorry to read about all your difficulties.......

I personally think .....naturally human beings take most things for granted........like basic necessities..... Even taking good honest family and friends for granted.........

Your OH is exceptionally lucky to have such a trustworthy loyal support network in you..........many people on the wrong end of a false accusation...... Would literally give anything for such a strong loyal partner like you..........

You are juggling a hundred things at once....home...kids....school..... Running the family home....not to mention all the emotional attachment to your OH and his investigation.........

I can only imagine how busy and emotionally drained you are......

Many members on here would say that you are an incredible individual..... To do what you are doing......

Do not give in though.... You have come this far........do not let the FALSE ACCUSER win.........

You will pull through this horrendous experience... And one day you will all be together and you will be one strong family unit.......

I wish you all the best.....and hope justice prevails....

A12

[Lilyput]

What a lovely question

Firstly so sorry about your six year old must be so so hard on her. I also have a six year old who has picked up on all the stress and arguments and just isn't the same happy little boy. As I'm the one who's stressing all the time he clings off my OH and doesn't want me at all. I get your the worst mummy in the world and I just want a Daddy and me day today on a regular basis. I really don't how I'll cope with it alone should the worst happen, this isn't the life i signed up for.

I also know what you mean about not being ready, I've really struggled with anger these last two weeks and I don't think God wants me to get any sort of revenge, I don't think this ordeal will end until I work through these feelings. I had a mini breakdown last week and told OH I hate FA more than i love God and more than I love our family and that if she goes on to be happy and not suffer after this my life is meaningless. I shocked myself as I thought I got past the angry stage already. I didn't mean it but it was a very scary feeling that took me days to shake.

I'm trying to stay positive as it's half term so just loading the distractions, today is tie dye and roman day at the castle, Monday was candle making not that I'm desperate or anything!

[Lilyput]

I also wanted to add you are in my prayers often
I think your incredibly strong to be doing this alone I'd have just fallen apart by now, you are literally a supermum.
I hope they check those computers soon so you can have your family life back.

[carrot tops]

I know God hears prayers so keep praying. I will pray for you too and will read up on your posts to get an idea of your situation.

We are through the other end, still not always easy, but so much better. Had great legal team, but God was there every single moment. He's with you too.

[Aidy]

Always nice to hear good news, but I always think it's important for people to post when they are down or need advice etc
Nice of you to ask after us : )

I was flying, and then had a little wobble this morning, but ok again now!

I think all of us playing the waiting game, just need to be a little more patient, and just be grateful with the friends and family who do offer us support (well those of us that do have that support)

Keep strong x

[AmandaF]

I am angry, oh so angry!

OH now released from prison on license but it's still a sentence for us all. Probation have deemed that I am unsuitable to supervise contact as on balance of probability I was guilty after all. So, our little family is still apart and grandson seems to be more upset and stressed than ever as he still can't see OH.
Probation really are something else- ask a question then twist everything you say to fit their "model". I feel more alone now than I did when he was locked up so I suppose we're not doing very well!!

I hope the rumours you have heard are true and help your case.

Being a parent in this situation is so so tough- I think it's ok to cry and get angry- but I think it's Arsenal who keeps saying "Turn your pain into power" ,

We are all battered and bruised from our experiences but we will come out the other side- changed for efer but still standing

[Arsenal12]

I am angry, oh so angry!

OH now released from prison on license but it's still a sentence for us all. Probation have deemed that I am unsuitable to supervise contact as on balance of probability I was guilty after all. So, our little family is still apart and grandson seems to be more upset and stressed than ever as he still can't see OH.
Probation really are something else- ask a question then twist everything you say to fit their "model". I feel more alone now than I did when he was locked up so I suppose we're not doing very well!!

I hope the rumours you have heard are true and help your case.

Being a parent in this situation is so so tough- I think it's ok to cry and get angry- but I think it's Arsenal who keeps saying "Turn your pain into power" ,

We are all battered and bruised from our experiences but we will come out the other side- changed for efer but still standing

I'm sorry to read about your ongoing difficulties even after your OH's release.............the mental scars.......and damage left is horrendous........

It's so sad to also read that your family is still not together.......... Probation and as with many of these so called agencies ie Social service..... Are often renowned....for "moving goal posts".....

And changing there minds/twisting words to suit.........they are often very disconnected from reality and have absolutely no idea what people in our shoes go through.........

It's great on this forum.though....its almost like a small online family on here...... With RF, lilyput,hello,yourself...CH,and co......and many others

I think we all have so much to offer each other....in terms of advice ...support..... Etc.......

I just sincerely hope that all your family members can be reunited.....soon........

And yes Amanda..you are quite right......." Turn your pain into power"

Or as my new years quote goes........"throw me to the wolves and I will be back leading the pack bring it on!"


I wish you all the best in your journey Amanda....... You will make it......YOU WILL

Because not only are YOU a Amazing Partner to your OH....you are a marvilous mother....and grandmother........in fact many members would agree if there were more Amanda's and Rf's in this world it would be far more pleasant to live on this earth....

Kind regards

A12

[hello88]

I am angry, oh so angry!

OH now released from prison on license but it's still a sentence for us all. Probation have deemed that I am unsuitable to supervise contact as on balance of probability I was guilty after all. So, our little family is still apart and grandson seems to be more upset and stressed than ever as he still can't see OH.
Probation really are something else- ask a question then twist everything you say to fit their "model". I feel more alone now than I did when he was locked up so I suppose we're not doing very well!!

I hope the rumours you have heard are true and help your case.

Being a parent in this situation is so so tough- I think it's ok to cry and get angry- but I think it's Arsenal who keeps saying "Turn your pain into power" ,

We are all battered and bruised from our experiences but we will come out the other side- changed for efer but still standing

Sorry, just a thought, don't know how you would look into it, but the person who got the person to make the accusation was in prison for sleeping with a 13 year old girl, he managed (legally apparntly) to change his name, and now he lives with his family (including young children) and no problems, the social services didn't even know for years until i recently told them (they wern't happy about it mind you)

and thank you everyone for your kind words and sorry took so long getting back... come down with a nasty cold which was probably part of the reason i was extra down...

@lillyput, i've got my parenting course tomorrow and so im going to bombared them with questions on how i can help my 6 year old. if i find anything useful i will let you know. The SW is useless, suggested that i put stars on a calander when its daddy day, half an hour later someones drawn starts on everyday and then got upset when they've realised that it is not how it works

also my 4 year old said that the daughter of the person who got the person to make the accusation said to her at school "you and your sister are going to be taken away from your mummy and daddy" - (randomly said in the car yesterday) so i asked "when did she say this to you" - "at school" - "was it a few days ago or like, long time ago" - "long time ago" - "why didn't you tell my mummy" - "she said don't tell mummy and daddy as its really bad and then she laughed and pinched me" -- so i gave a long lecture on if someone tells you to not tell mummy and daddy TELL ME as it is something abd and they should be saying it.

and also its is so hard when its half term, its another half term thats normally filled with so much fun, summer holidays, (although october half term was good as we were alowed to go on holiday),christmas holiday, this half term and bail dates after easter so easter holiday as well.... just praying it wont be another summer holiday.....

anger is good, although scarey. Not long after the accusation i saw the accusers with the person who got the person to accuse walking out of the road they live (smiling and laughing) and my first thought was to run the car up the pavement (even though they had their baby with them) and it scared me so much that i had that much anger that furthur down the road i pulled over, shaking crying and instead phoned hubby and shouting down the phone saying "guess who've i've just bloody well seen together!!!"

now i just feel alot of sympathy, they must be soooo desperate about something to do such an awful thing. Im more angry at the police at the moment for taking soooo long on something which clearly is a nasty drug fuelled vendetta.

keeps strong everyone and will get back to you lilyput about any advice i get that might help.....

[Lilyput]

Thanks so much lovely that's really kind of you. Hope your daughters are doing better soon xxx