Partner accused of rape!

[Kittykat23]

Thought I'd use this thread as haven't been on for a while been busy with a new baby and my oldest son. I do apologise for not keeping you all updated been needing a lot of support at the minute.

New update I'm off child protection now and gone down to child in need which is a positive for me and my boys couldn't be happier as all concerns were and still are over my ex and his family. No contact is still in place and now just got in touch with my solicitor about parental rights.

Update of the situation my ex did get reinterviewed about his half brothers when he got arrested for threats to kill he ended up on remand and got a 12 month suspended sentence and a fine. His dad recently punched and kicked him and got charged and on bail but looks like he'll only get a slap on the wrist. Another thing that's happened my ex got groped and got the bloke arrested and his been charged and on bail as he pleaded guilty and his got 3 accounts of similar things against him.

His last bail date has said about awaiting on a conclusion this time instead of pending investigation. Now at the conference the most recent offence was this year so must have been January weren't paying much attention as finding it hard to come to terms with but his very likely getting charged next Thursday and then it's going to cps and I think his going on remand as well now I've been told theirs a lot of evidence to say his guilty what evidence I have no idea it's his 4 half siblings as 1 of them haven't made an allegation.

I've also been told it's going to be a lengthy court case and that my old social worker who has now gone on this case and left mine and saying she reckons he'll get prosecuted. My ex is really bad at keeping his stories straight so wouldn't be surprised if he gets found guilty just because of that reason. I'm not attending the court so will have no idea about evidence and what's said but might be for the best. I also know that his mum has just signed her statement and they've interviewed my exes oldest brother so they've got everything now. Just waiting to hear about next week as I'm having to prepare myself but have no idea how I'll react till I hear I guess.

Feel really sorry for my sons as we're all the ones having to clean up the mess and live each day and being a single mum hasn't been easy but getting through each day and will never forgive him for leaving me like this.

The other thing that gets me angry is how they've still got all their kids in their care I have no idea as they made allegations last year so they obviously knew something was going on yet never protected their kids if this was going on so that really angers me and yet they got my son taken out of mine they get away with everything really furiates me as you can tell!!!

Sorry about the long post just need some support and sorry I haven't been on for so long but this is everything I know so far and it's not getting any easier!

[supportivepartner]

in the same situation

Hello

I was wondering how things were going for you?

I have been with my partner 3 months, and 9 weeks ago his ex accused him falsely of raping her 10 months ago. He is currently out on bail. For various reasons I know this to be completely false. She only went to the police after she turned up uninvited at my house and met me. My daughter was just about to undergo a major hip operation, which he had to support us through whilst dealing with this. His ex was aware of this and didn't care. It is extremely stressful for us, as we are in a new relationship and he hasn't been able to see his children since the whole thing started as he is relying on solicitors to communicate with her about child access. It is awful to see him slowly losing the will to fight, getting more and more depressed, and not being able to get out of bed in the mornings. He is consumed with anger and can't stop thinking about his children and the false allegation. What makes it worse is that I was actually a victim of this, but for the sake of the perpetrator's children, who I cared about, I did not come forward.

How do you cope??? I feel selfish that I am struggling and crying a lot because he is not able to show me the affection that I need to help me through my ordeal, which only happened 4 months ago. Complete nightmare!

The police see him as a criminal, but he's just a wrongly accused man, and therefore a victim himself. I don't understand why a woman would do this to a man, especially one who was is an amazing father to their children. Everyone is suffering. I just don't understand the motivations!

[ariadne]

Hello

I was wondering how things were going for you?

I have been with my partner 3 months, and 9 weeks ago his ex accused him falsely of raping her 10 months ago. He is currently out on bail. For various reasons I know this to be completely false. She only went to the police after she turned up uninvited at my house and met me. My daughter was just about to undergo a major hip operation, which he had to support us through whilst dealing with this. His ex was aware of this and didn't care. It is extremely stressful for us, as we are in a new relationship and he hasn't been able to see his children since the whole thing started as he is relying on solicitors to communicate with her about child access. It is awful to see him slowly losing the will to fight, getting more and more depressed, and not being able to get out of bed in the mornings. He is consumed with anger and can't stop thinking about his children and the false allegation. What makes it worse is that I was actually a victim of this, but for the sake of the perpetrator's children, who I cared about, I did not come forward.

How do you cope??? I feel selfish that I am struggling and crying a lot because he is not able to show me the affection that I need to help me through my ordeal, which only happened 4 months ago. Complete nightmare!

The police see him as a criminal, but he's just a wrongly accused man, and therefore a victim himself. I don't understand why a woman would do this to a man, especially one who was is an amazing father to their children. Everyone is suffering. I just don't understand the motivations!

I was accused about six weeks ago and have coped by simply trying not to think about it any more than necessary, making an effort to carry on as normal. Of course it's been on my mind constantly and I've been down and worried, but have tried hard to carry on working, eating, exercising, etc, as if nothing was wrong. Faking it I suppose. I was NFAd today and it feels like a weird anti climax, but I'm glad I didn't let my accuser let my day to day life duffer in the meantime. I kept really busy and made a point of having fun and being good to myself and it kept me from getting too down about it. Good luck!

[supportivepartner]

thanks

I was accused about six weeks ago and have coped by simply trying not to think about it any more than necessary, making an effort to carry on as normal. Of course it's been on my mind constantly and I've been down and worried, but have tried hard to carry on working, eating, exercising, etc, as if nothing was wrong. Faking it I suppose. I was NFAd today and it feels like a weird anti climax, but I'm glad I didn't let my accuser let my day to day life duffer in the meantime. I kept really busy and made a point of having fun and being good to myself and it kept me from getting too down about it. Good luck!

Hi

Thanks for replying to my post. That's brilliant news that you were NFAd! Congratulations and well done for being so strong. Do you know if 6 weeks is a quick turnaround? Things are going very very slowly at our end.

[surplusyew]

from what I have read 6 weeks is a really good turn around, I'm currently at 3 months and others on here are at 6-12 months some people have been waiting like 2 years!!

congrats on the NFA hopefully you will be able to move on with your life without any more problems

[ariadne]

from what I have read 6 weeks is a really good turn around, I'm currently at 3 months and others on here are at 6-12 months some people have been waiting like 2 years!!

congrats on the NFA hopefully you will be able to move on with your life without any more problems

Thanks. The OIC said they found something, which led to the quick NFA so I was lucky.

Am rooting for others here, 6 weeks is nothing compared to most ordeals on the forum, I feel fortunate, but still appreciate the horror of living life in limbo, falsely accused of something so serious.

[Mr B]

Very happy for you. Have a customary & sacred

Well done & do stick around to help others if you can.

Kindest regards
Mr B