Partner accused of rape!

[Kittykat23]

Thursday 4th February my partner was arrested for accusations of rape on his 2 half sisters. He didn't get charged but put on bail till mid March apparently it's going from 2002-2014 when he would have been 11 when it started and the victim was 2 and theirs 3 allegations on each between those years. I have no idea how this all works his got a son with me and another son on the way due on 23rd April 2016 I'm really worried because at the moment his not allowed any unsupervised contact as had to sign a book but social services are saying no contact because of his mental health otherwise my children will be put on child protection which I don't want. His sisters are on child protection while evidence is being collected and the investigation is ongoing. I have no idea what's going on as not getting told much so what am I to expect and how long do these sort of accusations take to decide if court proceedings are going to be taking place as he hasn't been charged? I'm really scared because I know his innocent and so does his brother and his mum, his been sectioned at the moment due to his mental health and this has litteraly destroyed him and made him very suicidal as well as suffering from paranoia, depression and anxiety I did look into a private solicitor but not sure if I can afford the costs but want to help him clear his name so he can get the help he needs to finally move on from this.

[Casehardened]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

Sadly there are quite a few members supporting their partners through similar sorts of allegations who will understand what you are feeling.

Do have a look at this link which answers some of the usual queries:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[Rights Fighter]

Hi and a sad welcome

At this stage there is no real need to worry about a solicitor. At this stage no evidence will be trickling through so a sol would't be able to do much. Paying now would basically be a waste of money as all they could do at this stage is a hand holding exercise.

There are some fab legal aid solicitors and barristers out there should they become necessary.

[Kittykat23]

Thank you for the advice I just hate the whole waiting game as I can't even see my partner as too emotional I feel so sorry for him this is all to do with revenge yet these false allegations aren't only going to ruin his life but my sons will suffer as well, I had a look into solicitors but will legal aid help me as I'm on benefits at the moment due to being pregnant? I read that it can take 6-7 months to even get charged or a nfa is that true I know his bail is till mid March but I know people who have been rebailed it's the not knowing that's really annoying me at the moment as my babies due end of April and I really want him there for the birth as I know his done nothing wrong I just can't see it happening if they're going to take so long gathering evidence

[Rights Fighter]

KK you aren't the accused so LA doesn't apply to you. Whether your partner is eligible is down to his income and any assets such as a house, property that he might own etc.

If you live together as a couple then your income will be taken into account. Given that you are on benefits that will help his application for LA.

[Kittykat23]

His been sectioned under the mental health but his also on benefits but me and his mum and brother want to start looking into private solicitors just in case he gets charged as read it's more likely if it's someone under the age of 16 they believe them more even if their lying or not

[Rights Fighter]

Please do remember there are some really good LA sols and barristers out there.

If you really do want to go private please "shop around" and do not be taken in by the overt bragging of unqualified people who pretend to be "experts" and who pretentiously claim to have only lost one or two cases out of 250+ cases, (nobody is in charge of a jury or CA no matter how much you pay them) and a handful of "testimonials" - they aren't all they seem to be.

Maybe start by giving solicitor Chris a ring 01704 535 512 and explain your situation. He works nationally and the costs always include the barrister, who is often a QC.

If you know where the alleged incidents are supposed to have happened, can you give me a clue so I can check out any LA sols out there in the area?

[Kittykat23]

I emailed Chris so hopefully he'll get back to me tomorrow as I know he said he can't help unless my partner gets charged which he hasn't yet just been put on bail pending investigations.

The alleged incidents happened from 2002-2014 the victim (liar) would have been 2 years old and my partner would have been 11 when it started they said it was 3 times on her and 3 times on the other victim (liar) don't know what age she would have been but she's now 8 my partner is 23 if he raped a 2 year old at 11 surely they'd be evidence and someone would have seen it as she wouldn't have known that far back as I know I don't remember anything before 4 years old so doesn't make sense to me at all and why has it taken them this long to say something my partners mum has done a statement as this is revenge from his dad yet he would pay his kids too lie because his done it before when he physically abused his son in the kitchen and we witnessed it yet his brother said it didn't happen then when they decided to argue with us in town and have ago he slipped up saying he had to pay him to keep his mouth shut yet we have no witnesses apart from each other to that being said I just think this whole situation is sick and it's my sons that will suffer if his dad gets sent down that's why I'm trying to get as much information as possible as his been sectioned this has litteraly destroyed him yet there getting away with it. Sorry if I seem angry I'm just fed up with his family because they love to see people suffer they get a thrill from it and they'll tell all they're mates and word gets about quick

[Casehardened]

The alleged incidents happened from 2002-2014 the victim (liar) would have been 2 years old and my partner would have been 11 when it started they said it was 3 times on her and 3 times on the other victim (liar) don't know what age she would have been but she's now 8


I emailed Chris so hopefully he'll get back to me tomorrow as I know he said he can't help unless my partner gets charged which he hasn't yet just been put on bail pending investigations.

This is a huge time window, especially as the second sister wasn't even around at the start, and suggests that they have just covered the whole time frame when he was living at home with them?

It is difficult to defend against allegations without specific dates or occasions but equally just as difficult to prosecute; as you pointed out a 2 year old's recollection of events is doubtful so it is likely that anything she has said will be based on more recent memories.

I commend your choice of Chris but agree that you should hold back on spending for legal representation unless he is charged.

I completely understand that you want all of this over so your partner can be back with you, especially for the birth of your second son, but bear in mind this separation is caused by the sectioning order and Social Service's stipulations both of which a solicitor can do little about whilst the investigations are ongoing.

Some members have stated that a solicitor's intervention, pre-charge, has speeded their investigation up and resulted in a NFA, but there is no guarantee that this wouldn't have happened in any case, though I suppose there is some mileage in asserting that the early appearance of a defence team will indicate to the CPS that there will be a robust defence strategy and they will have a fight on their hands!

[Rights Fighter]

We've had so many NFAs on here through the years where the duty sol has done bog all, so maybe it is sol's input and maybe it's not -who knows. I know Chris advised one guy about a statement from a family member that was sent as per his instructions, and it was NFA'd, but again, we have no idea if that helped or whether it was going to be NFAd anyway.

Some are good at the "hand-holding" in that they are at the end of the phone whenever needed, but that again won't ensure an NFA of course.

I think Chris may be at trial so you might not get a response straight away. Hold on in there anyway.

You and your man DO have options, private client or really good LA sols and barrister.

Member Redscouse, whose story you might have read, has been astonished at the service of his London (and SE) Legal Aid sol http://www.freemanssolicitors.net/si...file/paul_legg and the barrister. Mind you he had the barrister at his appeal so he knew him already and knows how good he is.

Easy for me to say I know, but try not to panic (too much)

[Kittykat23]

@Casehardened

Thank you for the advice I'm hoping he doesn't get charged his solcitor sent a letter and she should know more 2 days before his next bail date so just keeping my fingers cross he doesn't get charged or they still need to investigate as be good once this is over so he can start working on getting better and he moved out in 2014 so definitely going by the when he was living there but his brother said his going to do a statement and I know his mum has so hoping that helps I only got with him in 2013 and hardly saw him as always babysitting.

I just want this over so he can get all the help he needs to get better especially for his mental health and then his mum will take him in to work on the rest of his recovery and then he will need to do a risk assessment and hopefully then he'll be able to have contact just keeping my fingers cross. They're thinking about me going into a women refuge for the time being though as they say both me and my son are at risk.

I will definitely use Chris if he does get charged though as want the best possible outcome or at least try and fight for one.


@rightsfighter

Thank you ever so much his got 2 statements one from his mum and will have one from his brother so hoping they help with a nfa as he was with his brother a lot he didn't move out till 4-5 years ago so said nothing happened otherwise someone would have known and they shared a bedroom and we're together a lot so I'm just praying for good news but if he does get charged as they're under 16 so not sure if they will get more believed but I'll definitely get a private solicitor if he gets charged just a waiting game at the moment.

[Rights Fighter]

I don't know if you read other threads in these forums, but if you do you will have seen that the general advice is to not give the police evidence that will help your case.

Often witnesses that are helpful to defence are turned into witnesses for the prosecution and then dropped on the first day of trial, and too late for defence to make use of them, if they haven't already taken a statement and told the court they wish to call them.

Somebody who was in the house / bedroom most of the time still leaves open the "windows of opportunity" and that is enough to charge with. Better that such witnesses are used at trial.

Hold on in there hon.

[Kittykat23]

Sorry haven't been on lately been really quiet all I know is that my partner is having a review on Wednesday and looks like his being discharged and is hoping to go to his mums but she has a daughter under 16 and it's really close to his dad's so not sure how likely that will be but he needs her support otherwise I can see him commiting suicide over this allegation but just have to wait and see what gets said at the review.

It's too late about the statements as both his bother and mum have sent them in and did it before I could have told them however I know his brother and mum are getting his dad done for a few things or at least going to try to that can be proven with evidence luckily but I'm staying out of what they're doing and just focusing on getting information together and to support my partner even though I can't see him at this present time due to social services.

I have been sent a few messages of screenshots of a conversation between a girl and the sister that's made the false allegations and they're from last year August 2014 yet what she said doesn't match her statements neither will it her mum who done a statement and other sister who's also made allegations up I'm not sure what to do with the evidence that I've now got as didn't want to get involved so I'm now a bit confused as too will it help or not?

His bail date is the 5th April so I'm hoping we will hear something before then on what's going to happen but from what I've seen on these threads doesn't look likely can just pray I guess.

[hello88]

Sorry haven't been on lately been really quiet all I know is that my partner is having a review on Wednesday and looks like his being discharged and is hoping to go to his mums but she has a daughter under 16 and it's really close to his dad's so not sure how likely that will be but he needs her support otherwise I can see him commiting suicide over this allegation but just have to wait and see what gets said at the review.

It's too late about the statements as both his bother and mum have sent them in and did it before I could have told them however I know his brother and mum are getting his dad done for a few things or at least going to try to that can be proven with evidence luckily but I'm staying out of what they're doing and just focusing on getting information together and to support my partner even though I can't see him at this present time due to social services.

I have been sent a few messages of screenshots of a conversation between a girl and the sister that's made the false allegations and they're from last year August 2014 yet what she said doesn't match her statements neither will it her mum who done a statement and other sister who's also made allegations up I'm not sure what to do with the evidence that I've now got as didn't want to get involved so I'm now a bit confused as too will it help or not?

His bail date is the 5th April so I'm hoping we will hear something before then on what's going to happen but from what I've seen on these threads doesn't look likely can just pray I guess.

Keep the screenshots to yourself for now,also see if you can trail through the false accusers facebook and screenshot anything that might be of relevance. - i printed of relevant screenshots and gave a set to my solicitor, a set i keep 'locked away' and i've not only stored it on my computer but also on a memory stick i've given a relative to keep at there house lol

don't rely on things being over or a decision being decided. We was told in june our bail date was december, our sol told us that a few days before they will contact us to let us know if its been dropped or charge but 10 mimuites before due to arrive got a phonecall to say been rebailed, until 5th april.. unfourtnatly it seems that the more unrealistic and stupid the accusation is the more they put it at the bottom of the pile and deal with more serious (guilty looking) cases. We are now in our 8th month.

My OH is only alowed supervised access, twice a week, it devestaed me at first, when the accusation was made, my children where 6yo, 4y and 10mo. (first 3 months it was once a week) For someone who doesn't cry infront of people i was balling my eyes out infront of social worker about my OH missing my sons first steps, first birthday, everything. I was so worried the bond would be ruined but at the last few supervised contacts my son has been constantly calling "dadddy, daddddy, daddddy" and when my OH goes to go out the door he push's him all the way back to the kitchen lol. he see's my mum more than he sees my OH at the moment but he knows who my OH is and the he adores my OH.

My OH although not sectioned was suicidal at first (i would scream down the phone for him to promise me he wasn't going to do anything stupid and he couldn't promise) there was several times i would be driving round because he hadn't picked up his phone for a couple of hours. IT WILL GET BETTER it will get to a stage where yourself and him will get over the shock and be in fighting mode. Remember, this person probably has done it because they want to ruin your life, they want to ruin your family!! Don't let them win...

My neighbour across the road has her OH work away a lot and he missed a few milestones with the kids but they are a happy family, and the way is survive on really low days is prentending that my OH works away. The only main nuisance from that is social services involvement but just work with them and remember that they are working for the children, so as long as you prove that you're putting the kids priority first then every thing with that will be ok.

Sorry, probably not everything you wanted to hear, and probably not all going to apply to you as each case and area are sooo diffrerent but keep strong, its not going to be easy but keep focusing on your children, keep the social services happy so that when the allegation is over your OH will have a family to come back to

xxxxxx

[Kittykat23]

I have kept the screenshots for definite as they don't match the statements they've told so definitely keeping it to myself for now will give to my partner if he does need them for the solicitor but at the moment it's really quiet and not looking into private unless he gets charged but have spoken to one and his been really helpful. I can't look through their Facebook as I blocked his whole family last year around June time as I had enough of all the **** they put me and him through they are a nasty, evil family and have told everyone up the schools about this as heard it from his mum who also knows people up the school really pisses me off as it's not even true!

Wow 8th month that's ridiculous if you ask me and I understand what you mean but if they seem unrealistic and stupid surely they should be the ones they can just close instead of making others suffer by the waiting game doesn't make sense but then again none of this does to be honest sad that our partners are having to suffer

His really lucky to get supervised access my OH is allowed any contact at the moment as he was meant to have a risk assessment done to see how his mental health was that was before these allegations got made which is another obstacle that's just got in the way so now saying he can't have any till this is all dropped and even then he will still have to have the risk assessments done to make sure his safe enough to be around. How did your children cope the older ones? My son is 14 months and his behaviour for the first 2/3 weeks was hard to deal with but his now relaxed and happy again. I know what you mean I couldn't stop crying for the first couple of weeks was so hard but had to find strength for my sons sake. I know my OH is going to miss the birth of his unborn son and probably a few milestones as well depending how long it goes on for which breaks my heart same with once these allegations are dealt with and my partner gets found innocent which is what we're all hoping for as we know he is then he can have access to his sons again just worried how they will react as anything over 8 months is such a long time but I'm glad your children can still have a bond with there daddy as that's really important.

I know how that feels my OH has the odd suicidal moments still and can hear voices like his dad is talking to him and that really messes up with his head but his on so much tablets that they seem to be helping and his got his review on Wednesday as his getting discharged the week after just hoping he can go to his mums for support if not it'll be a bail hostel not near here. I'm glad you too have got your fighting mode on and that you both get through this together. I completely agree this is out of revenge and they hate me with a passion and same with their son because he stood up for himself yet we're all the ones having to suffer because of the lies.

I've only got social services till the June and I've always had to work with them since 2014 because of my past and background and now his on a child in need plan is so much more relaxed we're only on it for a year and that year is nearly up then I will have more freedom but my sons safety is paramount to me and I would never put him at risk.

Thank you ever so much for the advice and its nice to be able to talk to people who are going through this horrible journey and let's just hope it ends soon I'll definitely keep working with social services and also keep strong for my children and I hope one day we'll be united family again just hope these allegations do get dropped.

Keep strong yourself and I hope your partner gets to come home soon to you all.

Xxxxx