aqquitted

[sjl79]

I joined this forum back in the early autumn last year and posted my situation and was thankful for the support. In December after a four day trial I was aqquited after the jury deliberated for only half an hour.it was rather anti climactic and I was just told I could go home. I should be elated, I be releived......I should be something. Six weeks now after my acquittal I feel as lost and In limbo as I did all of last year. As I stated in my previous posts I have long standing mental health conditions and currently these feel out of control. I wont leave my house or go into the town I've lived all my life to do anything due to the stigma the false allegations have left me with. These are probably imagined on my behalf as, as far as I know no one even knows what I went through ( the few neighbours I've seen since returning home seem blissfully unaware that I was even absent for almost a year on bail). When does life return to normal?....does life return to normal? I'm struggling with my identity and place in the world after these events and wondered if anyone had any insight into life after aquittal.

Many thanks in advance for any advice

if I can offer any of my own advice to anyone with regards to how I coped and the process I endured please feel free to ask

[hello88]

strangely me and hubby were talking about the long term effect it may have on us (and understandably other families) - the truth is, we never realy knew what the phrase "feels like the whole world is against you" until the false allegation. You loose your faith in the justice system, in people (because before you never really thought people could make such a horrendus lie to the police) and every minute and every bit of your energy you are using it to fight your corner (which seemingly gets a smaller and smaller corner as each day goes on).

I was agraphobic (a few years ago, way before this nightmare happened) and i could feel like slipping into it again with fear of not only people think (when actually they are either supportive or don't know) i mean i've driven round in circles three times to catch the eye of one of my 'friends' to see if she would wave back as i was paranoid she knew and didn't want anything to do with us!! There has been weeks when i've avoided that town just because the mental strain of seeing people or the accusers! Then i had the fear of not even going for a walk round the village (there was other reasons for this fear) and all summer holidays i only took my kids to the park once!!!

But as i said to hubby yesterday, when this nightmare is over, the false accuser has already taken 7 months out of our lifes, it could be 8 or even 9 or even more before its finished but when its finished they are NOT taking any more... we both have talked about (well really, re-evaluate) our lifes, i want to fulfill my dream as a childrens author and hubby wants to cut down on his business in order to be a bit more of a a stay-at-home daddy, i'm not sure if this plan will really work or not, but its a plan and maybe you need to fulfill a dream, or start a new career or something to make you focus on the future and not the past... i know sooooo much easier said than done, but i guess thats the only advice i can give, if you needed an oppourtunity to change your life, then this is it

Keep strong h xxxx

[Jerome Goulding]

The epilogue after exoneration.

I can relate to all those who have been acquitted, released without any charge or 'No further action' (NFA) in the police enquiry. Because that is where I am. I have been completely exonerated - yet, there is no elation, no happiness, just fear and anger.

There are two things which I bear in my mind. One, is that my emotional state has become so low that the only way to go, is up! Two, I have sweet f^&k all to loose if I become a serious annoyance to the police, as long as I make no threat or become malicious. They have forced me into a form a 'house arrest' (even if it considered self imposed), too frightened to go out other than in well planned journeys. Hence I put down my thoughts and then fire them at politicians, with a view that they get the message that legislation needs to change, so that there is redress for those accused once it become very evident there was never a case to answer.

Unfortunately we a living in a world of the 'cess pit' of miss information, assumptions, propaganda politics and pluralistic ignorance, where those who will proceed in an liberal air of caution and are our natural allies to supporting us, can easily 'pass on the other side'. So getting others out of the 'no smoke without fire' attitude and seeing us as the victim of these sordid allegations is very difficult.

I wrote to Monica Soriano <monica.soriano@bbc.co.uk> who is one of the producers of the 'Victoria Derbyshire' show and told her my story. Although invited, I never appeared on TV only because I was at a very low point and feared that a snivelling in-coherent person trying to tell there story would not work. They were interested in my thoughts (which have always been publically available on my web site).

If enough other people became brave enough to tell their story on these sort of shows, it would manoeuvre the public perceptions of 'those who accuse' and review their motives (especially with historical abuse cases), allowing the introduction of the arguments about police handling to the point of witch hunting, and take a look at the amount of support the victim of these false allegations will need, possibly life long.

In my opinion do not involve the written Press! You have no editorial control of their newspaper columns.

[Rights Fighter]

What you are feeling is perfectly normal for the abnormal situation you find yourself in.

Hold on in there. Support others going through it and you will find that will help you.

[YearsOfHell]

It's very difficult to explain to those who haven't been there but there is no wrong or right way to feel.
Myself and my OH are in a very strange place too.
We assumed all the neighbors are aware because our case was all on social media but it seems that's not the case.
Either they don't know about it or they don't care, they have their own lives and issues to deal with. Most people haven't got the time to worry about us and our issues.
I bumped into the village gossip yesterday and she didn't say a single word about it. If she had known then she would've tried to get some juicy tidbit out of me, but not a word! And if anyone would know, she would!
On the other hand, you can't help the way you feel.
Get some help, my husband found counselling useful for a while.
Try it. Don't give up on yourself, take your time.
You will feel better about it eventually but there's no time scale.
Go at your own pace.
Big hugs
YoH