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  • #31
    bail date

    Just been called by OIC. Apparently my case has now been sent to CPS after just three weeks investigation. My bail has been extended to 17th March. Wonder if this is good or bad?
    "You are not obliged to say anything but it WILL harm your defence if you DO mention something that might help you in court. Anything you say will be put to the complainant so they can change their story."

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    • #32
      OH's was sent after 12 days, not sure if it's good or bad but would hazard a guess that it means that isn't much (if any) evidence against you for them to collect. How are you doing now, any news about your children?
      Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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      • #33
        No news on that score yet. I have sent my daughter a birthday card via social services but it's up to my wife if she gets it or not!
        "You are not obliged to say anything but it WILL harm your defence if you DO mention something that might help you in court. Anything you say will be put to the complainant so they can change their story."

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        • #34
          Hopefully it should be all done and dusted soon so you can see your children again. I think cases that relate to child access and custody should be prioritized because what some children go through is very unfair, not to mention pretty traumatic to have a parent just disappear!
          Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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          • #35
            Hope it means NFA is more likely. Not holding my breath though, it could just mean the Police think they have enough!
            "You are not obliged to say anything but it WILL harm your defence if you DO mention something that might help you in court. Anything you say will be put to the complainant so they can change their story."

            Comment

            • #36
              gone to cps

              Anyone else have any thoughts on my case going to cps so quickly (just over three weeks) and the fact I was only interviewed at the very beginning? It is pretty much her word against mine with some incidental medical evidence - a common sexual injury (tear to vaginal wall). Obviously I'm praying for NFA but fear this means the police think they have enough for court. They did seize the computer and my phone, but it seems that is not central to the case.
              "You are not obliged to say anything but it WILL harm your defence if you DO mention something that might help you in court. Anything you say will be put to the complainant so they can change their story."

              Comment

              • #37
                one other thing

                Don't know what if anything I should read into this, but when the investigating officer rang me the other day, he sounded very apologetic about having to extend my bail.
                "You are not obliged to say anything but it WILL harm your defence if you DO mention something that might help you in court. Anything you say will be put to the complainant so they can change their story."

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                • #38
                  doubt that will mean anything sorry.. your scared and like lots of us we clutch at what little straws we can find. try not to worry its a waiting game..

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Shah View Post
                    doubt that will mean anything sorry.. your scared and like lots of us we clutch at what little straws we can find. try not to worry its a waiting game..

                    Echo the above I spent 18 months second guessing ! Please don't read to much into it and 100% don't buy false sympathy from the police !

                    I been exactly where you are make a phase that I always remind myself of is "when your going through hell........ Keep ongoing" sir winston Churchill

                    One day there will be a end I'm hoping yours is soon and mine is next week

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                    • #40
                      I think sometimes the police officer thinks there is nothing in it but it isn't completely up to them that's why they are apologetic.
                      Clerk at the serious sexual assault department at the CPS, was extremely apologetic and told OH to relax and go on holiday and wait for them to write, it was a bit reassuring but i suppose it's ultimately up to the lawyer that gets the case on their desk. On the upside this ordeal is a bit easier with a friendly OIC but I wouldn't read too much into it.

                      Sorry I can't be more helpful, chin up, you can do this for your children.
                      Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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                      • #41
                        update - re-bailed again

                        Just had OIC on the phone. My case has been with the cps for 6 weeks. I have now been re-bailed until 14th June. OIC says he hopes this is the last time.

                        In other news, social services have closed their case and are satisfied my kids are safe with my FA. The upshot of which is I can have no contact with them.
                        "You are not obliged to say anything but it WILL harm your defence if you DO mention something that might help you in court. Anything you say will be put to the complainant so they can change their story."

                        Comment

                        • #42
                          Originally posted by terrifieddad View Post
                          Just had OIC on the phone. My case has been with the cps for 6 weeks. I have now been re-bailed until 14th June. OIC says he hopes this is the last time.

                          In other news, social services have closed their case and are satisfied my kids are safe with my FA. The upshot of which is I can have no contact with them.
                          And there is no history that they are at risk from you? That's crazy! Any chance of you getting some legal advice/legal aid from a lawyer expert in family law? Women have been ordered by the courts to let fathers who have abused their children to fascilitate access bafore now, so cutting off a loving father without due process can't be right. Please check out any free legal clinics in your area. Some libraries have one, so that might be a starting point for you.
                          'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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                          • #43
                            No risk to the kids whatsoever. I have been advised that any attempt to compel her to let me see the kids would be seen as intimidating the witness. I am not allowed to contact her directly or indirectly. Even if I could get a court order - which I can't afford - the logistics of contact are a problem. I'm subject to the same bail conditions for the next three months. It looks like I have to wait or risk prejudicing my trial and being sentenced for another offence.
                            "You are not obliged to say anything but it WILL harm your defence if you DO mention something that might help you in court. Anything you say will be put to the complainant so they can change their story."

                            Comment

                            • #44
                              Originally posted by terrifieddad View Post
                              No risk to the kids whatsoever. I have been advised that any attempt to compel her to let me see the kids would be seen as intimidating the witness. I am not allowed to contact her directly or indirectly. Even if I could get a court order - which I can't afford - the logistics of contact are a problem. I'm subject to the same bail conditions for the next three months. It looks like I have to wait or risk prejudicing my trial and being sentenced for another offence.
                              What a difficult situation for you! As others have said though, children are remarkably resilient, and the idea that they are not missing you or nor asking after you is too ridiculous to be believed.

                              The idea of keeping a diary, appropriate for them might help you too. Write to them, even if you can't send the letters, so that when this is all over, as it will be, you can demonstrate to them that you have been thinking of them. If they are very little, too little to read, and you can manage it, you could even record voice messages for them that they could listen to eventually as well. Something on the 'memo' facility if your phone if you have one. Anything that will show them that you've been thinking of them and that will give you something to focus on for the passage of time.

                              It's appalling what some women and the authorities will try to do to damage parent/child relationships. My heart goes out to you, but hang in there.
                              'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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                              • #45
                                Charged today

                                Just to let you know after 5 months on bail I have now been charged with three counts of rape of my wife
                                "You are not obliged to say anything but it WILL harm your defence if you DO mention something that might help you in court. Anything you say will be put to the complainant so they can change their story."

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