Wife had me arrested

[Lilyput]

Well touch wood SS round here are very nice. I called them when someone who knew me threatened to report me before the interview even happened when I told her OH had been invited for an interview, seriously!

So I called them myself, SW who spoke with me said 'an allegation is just an allegation,until the police decide what to do with it or if we need to be involved.'
OIC didn't see a need to contact SS so we've not heard from them but the one on the phone seemed really sympathetic so good social workers do exist.

[terrifieddad]

update

Though not connected with the case I have had some developments today.

Applied for benefits, picked up prescription and tomorrow it's off to homeless welfare to find somewhere to live

[wakingnightmare]

Hello

Well done.

I think it's really important that you keep doing things. It's very easy to sit and dwell and allow these situations to overwhelm you.

I hope you find somewhere tomorrow.

WN

[Lilyput]

Glad your finding a way to manage, your probably slightly in survival mode right now. Your taking steps in the right direction. It will take a few months but i promise you it will get easier to deal with what is happening Hugs!

[Lucky]

this is like every mans worst nightmare...

be strong fella...

[terrifieddad]

minor progress

My new driving licence has arrived so I'm a real person again!

As I'm under 35 I will only be entitled to the shared accommodation rate of housing benefit, which doesn't come close to a one bed flat. I don't mind sharing but I'm wary if this comes out I will be unable to stay or worse vulnerable to more false accusations. If I'm open from the outset, the latter problem remains plus who would share with a rape suspect? The council has said they are unlikely to house me as I'm not vulnerable enough!

[Lilyput]

Is there a friend or family member you can stay with? If you have to share try and find a men only house share. Thinking of you.

[bootandsuit]

hi really sorry to hear about your situation seems we have experienced much the same.... I'm nearing the end of this hell now after 18 months my trail begins soon

Just thought I'd offer some words of support And my experiences

Since the allegations were made against me I lost systimacly everything my job car friends family and access to my son...... I've slept rough slept on sofas of ex cons that came across me on the streets and offered me a roof over my head (bizzarly I found these people the kindest) spoken endless to the council to find me a room but as your finding as a single male under 35 your a very very low priority.

I eventually spoke to a local homeless charity which I would strongly advise you to do! I was 100% honest with them as I had the same concerns as you about sharing a house they houses me in a small but clean house which helps those coming out of prison integrate back into the community on paper sounds hell but after the streets I was desperate I must say the three guys I lived with we at times unpredictable but on the whole were very nice and it got me to the point I am today.

Through the depths of hell in positive now knowing in 3 weeks I can clear my name having taken a huge life lesson not to trust women and never ever ever trust the curropt police

Keep your chin up fella all this oneday WILL be over and you WILL have your opportunity to fight back

[terrifieddad]

social services update

Social services told me my kids don't miss me and haven't even asked about me. Nor can they tell me what the kids have been told about my disappearance. All they would say is they are being told in stages in an age appropriate way. It's my daughter's birthday soon and it's up to my wife whether or not she passes on the birthday card I'm sending. Heartbreaking.

[Shah]

]Social services told me my kids don't miss me and haven't even asked about me. Nor can they tell me what the kids have been told about my disappearance. All they would say is they are being told in stages in an age appropriate way. It's my daughter's birthday soon and it's up to my wife whether or not she passes on the birthday card I'm sending. Heartbreaking.


Thats so sad, take no notice of SS !!! Im so sorry x yes punish the kids as well !! FFS !!

[Lilyput]

I very much doubt your children aren't missing you, of course they will of asked! You must be devastated! My guess would be if SS have suddenly changed towards you is that your wife has fed them a pack of lies to get them on side.

Stay strong and hopefully the truth will come out soon! Maybe write letters to your children date them and keep them so you can give them to them when you can see them again

[terrifieddad]

My biggest fear is never being able to see them again. Social services are adamant that unless the kids specifically ask to see me AND my wife agrees I have no chance of seeing them. How possible is it for her to gain sole legal custody before this goes to the CPS?

[Lilyput]

From other posters I think they use the excuse that what you have been accused of is extremely serious etc etc. Perhaps if it isn't too expensive you could consult a lawyer that specializes in custody battles? Others will know far more about it than me.
Can you ask for supervised access if your children aren't mentioned in your bail conditions?

[Arsenal12]

Social services told me my kids don't miss me and haven't even asked about me. Nor can they tell me what the kids have been told about my disappearance. All they would say is they are being told in stages in an age appropriate way. It's my daughter's birthday soon and it's up to my wife whether or not she passes on the birthday card I'm sending. Heartbreaking.

Like is said in an earlier response to you original post.........seeing/having conact withyour children will be laden with obstacle after obstacle......social services will tell you one thing and do another........

It's sad to say this but......you have to take it on the chin..........

And stay strong for your children.......

[Arsenal12]

From other posters I think they use the excuse that what you have been accused of is extremely serious etc etc. Perhaps if it isn't too expensive you could consult a lawyer that specializes in custody battles? Others will know far more about it than me.
Can you ask for supervised access if your children aren't mentioned in your bail conditions?

On the subject of Custody battles.... Regarding children...... I have explored and investigated every avenue from.....representation...... To......contact.....orders...etc.....

In the end I realised that I would have to fork out around £3500 just to get a contact order produced... By a lawyer.....

I decided to represent myself and although unsuccessful I believe a lawyer would have got the same result........

It's horse's for courses I guess.....

But I have learnt alot....about family court proceedings..etc.. So if you require any advice....on this matter I'd be happy to help you

Regards
A12