Devastating news this morning

[kw1981]

Hi all im a newbie and am relieved to come across this forum this evening.
I am a 34 year old gay man who has been in a civil partnership with the love of my life for over 12 years. We received a call my this morning from a town not far from where my partner was born and raised. It was the police who asked if he could attend an interview at the station in a few weeks time as they are investigating an accusation of historical sexual abuse against a child, they provided the name of the accuser. They stated that the claim was made when my partner was living at an address which was more than 13 years ago.
Both of us are shocked and sick to the stomach. I feel like my world has been destroyed. We cant eat, i cant sleep. Any help, advice or support would be gratefully appreciated.

[AmandaF]

Hi and welcome to our forum tho sorry you had to find us.

Does your partner actually know the accuser???? Has he had any form of contact in the past?
Once the shock wears off to a degree where you can function, start to think about any relevant details, timelines, occasions where hey may have met and anyone else who was there.

Can't really say more then that- but there are lots on here who can help and support

[Absolute_Innocent]

Hi KW1981,

I'm so sorry that you find yourself here. I'm also a gay man being falsely accused of something that happened a long time ago - 14 years ago when I was 14 years old. It's a fabricated story, motive being money and attention.

You will find yourself also in a dark place while the investigation starts and then continues. I would not have been as strong as I was without the backing and support of my partner who's been my rock through the last year. Timelines will be crucial and of course make sure he's represented at the police station when he is invited in for that "voluntary chat". I found the experience fine, I think I had built it up to be the worst experience of my life, but it was OK and the investigating officer was pleasant.

I paid for a private solicitor to come with me as I felt that I would have better support from a legal perspective as this process was completely new to me, but some members here have had a great duty solicitor and many got that all important NFA.

Wishing you guys all the best as you start on this horrific journey, we are all here to support and help.

AI x

[Casehardened]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

I suppose that one positive you can take is that, if the police were certain that the accusation was true, he would have had an unannounced early morning visit with PC's, mobiles, etc being taken for analysis.

You will get great support from members of the forum but do have a look at this link for general advice:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[TBG1]

Hi KW - Welcome to the forum & sorry you have had to find your way here.


I too was "invited" to a voluntary interview regarding historic allegations. I will give you one simple piece of advice to pass on to your partner - As the police will have no evidence (of something that didn't happen), their questioning will be tailored to get your partner to be elaborate with his answers....in fact our natural reaction is to volunteer all sorts of information in our defence. Don't. Answer the question that's asked - yes or no if possible - and then wait for the next one.

Let me give you an example:

Q: Is John Smith a good friend?

A: No. (this is what your answer should be...if true of course)


Here's what happens if you volunteer even the slightest bit of extra information:


A: No, John is someone that my best friend James Jones knows.


Looks like a similar answer-and may be true, but this answer would lead to.....

Q: Who is James Jones?

Q: Where Does He Live?

Q: Do You Have His Phone Number?

Q: Is He Still Good Friends With John Smith?

Q: Does He Know What You Did?


Apologies for the apparent silliness of this example but it's the easiest way to explain what I mean. In short, answer the questions truthfully but in a concise manner.


Please read through other people's threads - these are people that are going through the same thing, some are at the same point, others further down the line. But all offer advice from having experienced this themselves. It will help you as you move through this ordeal.


Welcome & Best Wishes To You & Your Partner,


TBG1

[joe_3178]

Not silly at all, very useful to people I'm sure.

I know it may not offer much comfort to you kw but there does seem to be a lot of these cases going on right now. Whilst it's tough to accept, please remember that for many people it goes no further and they are not charged. The police and cps are not stupid and cannot bring to trial weak cases. I think the best thing you can do is help to ensure that your partner has good mental strength and confidence to face this.

[utterlydestroyed]

I'm also a gay man & went through this hell of FA - twice, in 2004 & 2007 (Both times police eventually admitted (two years later) there was evidence throughout allegations were false & eventually recorded as 'No Crime' on my part, but not before police ripped my life to shreds with prejudice, homophobia, abuse, victimization, lies, threats, intimidation & bullying....WHICH STILL ON GOING! )

The endemic homophobic attitudes & practices I repeatedly encountered from Devon & Cornwall police (still on going) utterly destroyed my life.

I have endeavored to document chronologically from documents, letters, photos etc. over the past 25yrs of my life as an out gay man.

It can be read here;- http://www.gayhistorycornwall.com

BE AWARE - Despite the 'smoke & mirrors, PR & lip service, the police are EVERY SINGLE BIT as homophobic as an organisation today as they have always been.
Ask Harvey Proctor, Nigel Evans Mp or Paul Gambaccini DJ.

The Gay witch hunts by police still continue unabated...unfortunately police have infiltrated into LGBT groups & there is little or no support from LGBT community for gay people police target.

[AmandaF]

Tbh it's a witch hunt, gay or straight, dead or alive.

And that's very good advice TBG1

[innocentson]

"The police and cps are not stupid and cannot bring to trial weak cases. "
Sorry but I have to disagree with this statement .... From experience ....! Ours (NG) after a 12 month ordeal at the hands of corrupt WYP is only one of a number of examples.


Sorry you find yourself here ; good that you did at the start rather than further into the process.
Follow the advice given closely eg short answers only, take a solicitor with you and do not trust the police..... Gay or other otherwise .... The police are NOT your friends.

Best wishes that your partner gets NFA soon

[kw1981]

It means ALOT...

Wow, thank you each and everyone of you for your supportive replies and advice.
My partner and I have be so touched by the response and horrified that there are so many of you who have found yourselves in the same position whether past or present.
The initial "shock" has, for us both, faded a little and we are ready for the fight to clear my partners name.
To respond to some of your questions; No, my partner does not recognise the name of this person at all. In my initial post I stated these allegations go back 13 years, that is incorrect, having gone over things today it is more likely that these allegations go back 30 YEARS!
We have requested a duty solicitor be present when we meet with the police, and are also reaching out to independent solicitors for some more immediate advice.
We are both now, very much at the stage where we will be relieved to get this interview over with at the moment it is like a dark cloud hanging over our heads which I know many of you will understand who have been through a similar experience.
Thank you all, once again for your kind words and advice. It is all very much appreciated, and felt reassured waking up to see the replies. :

[kw1981]

"The police and cps are not stupid and cannot bring to trial weak cases. "
Sorry but I have to disagree with this statement .... From experience ....! Ours (NG) after a 12 month ordeal at the hands of corrupt WYP is only one of a number of examples.


Sorry you find yourself here ; good that you did at the start rather than further into the process.
Follow the advice given closely eg short answers only, take a solicitor with you and do not trust the police..... Gay or other otherwise .... The police are NOT your friends.

Best wishes that your partner gets NFA soon

Thank you and we will be sure to follow all the advice we have been offered.

[kw1981]

"The police and cps are not stupid and cannot bring to trial weak cases. "
Sorry but I have to disagree with this statement .... From experience ....! Ours (NG) after a 12 month ordeal at the hands of corrupt WYP is only one of a number of examples.


Sorry you find yourself here ; good that you did at the start rather than further into the process.
Follow the advice given closely eg short answers only, take a solicitor with you and do not trust the police..... Gay or other otherwise .... The police are NOT your friends.

Best wishes that your partner gets NFA soon

Tbh it's a witch hunt, gay or straight, dead or alive.

And that's very good advice TBG1

I'm also a gay man & went through this hell of FA - twice, in 2004 & 2007 (Both times police eventually admitted (two years later) there was evidence throughout allegations were false & eventually recorded as 'No Crime' on my part, but not before police ripped my life to shreds with prejudice, homophobia, abuse, victimization, lies, threats, intimidation & bullying....WHICH STILL ON GOING! )

The endemic homophobic attitudes & practices I repeatedly encountered from Devon & Cornwall police (still on going) utterly destroyed my life.

I have endeavored to document chronologically from documents, letters, photos etc. over the past 25yrs of my life as an out gay man.

It can be read here;- http://www.gayhistorycornwall.com

BE AWARE - Despite the 'smoke & mirrors, PR & lip service, the police are EVERY SINGLE BIT as homophobic as an organisation today as they have always been.
Ask Harvey Proctor, Nigel Evans Mp or Paul Gambaccini DJ.

The Gay witch hunts by police still continue unabated...unfortunately police have infiltrated into LGBT groups & there is little or no support from LGBT community for gay people police target.

Sadly I have to agree, homophobia is still an issue in the police force. So sorry to read of the relentless hell you have and are still going through. I hope will all my heart that things will work out for the best for you and you are able to move forward with your life. It has clearly gone on way too long, please stay strong.

[kw1981]

Tbh it's a witch hunt, gay or straight, dead or alive.

And that's very good advice TBG1

Couldn't agree more, it is a modern day witch hunt, shocking.

[kw1981]

Tbh it's a witch hunt, gay or straight, dead or alive.

And that's very good advice TBG1

Not silly at all, very useful to people I'm sure.

I know it may not offer much comfort to you kw but there does seem to be a lot of these cases going on right now. Whilst it's tough to accept, please remember that for many people it goes no further and they are not charged. The police and cps are not stupid and cannot bring to trial weak cases. I think the best thing you can do is help to ensure that your partner has good mental strength and confidence to face this.

Thank you joe for your reply. Will definitely ensure he keeps his chin up and we will fight this with all that we have got,

[kw1981]

Hi KW - Welcome to the forum & sorry you have had to find your way here.


I too was "invited" to a voluntary interview regarding historic allegations. I will give you one simple piece of advice to pass on to your partner - As the police will have no evidence (of something that didn't happen), their questioning will be tailored to get your partner to be elaborate with his answers....in fact our natural reaction is to volunteer all sorts of information in our defence. Don't. Answer the question that's asked - yes or no if possible - and then wait for the next one.

Let me give you an example:

Q: Is John Smith a good friend?

A: No. (this is what your answer should be...if true of course)


Here's what happens if you volunteer even the slightest bit of extra information:


A: No, John is someone that my best friend James Jones knows.


Looks like a similar answer-and may be true, but this answer would lead to.....

Q: Who is James Jones?

Q: Where Does He Live?

Q: Do You Have His Phone Number?

Q: Is He Still Good Friends With John Smith?

Q: Does He Know What You Did?


Apologies for the apparent silliness of this example but it's the easiest way to explain what I mean. In short, answer the questions truthfully but in a concise manner.


Please read through other people's threads - these are people that are going through the same thing, some are at the same point, others further down the line. But all offer advice from having experienced this themselves. It will help you as you move through this ordeal.


Welcome & Best Wishes To You & Your Partner,


TBG1

This is great advice thank you for taking the time. I completely understand what you mean with not giving more information for them to 'feed off' than necessary, just answer the question as simply as possible. If you become an open book they will just try to dig deeper. Yes or no responses are definitely the technique to answering any questions from the police regardless of the situation! Thank you for taking the time to respond, it really does mean a lot.