Life in limbo

[Living-nightmare]

My partner got a letter through the post a few days and he is rebailed until March. We are both angry that this is still going on. Our life is on absolute on hold and there is no way for my partner to see his children for another 2 months. BUT, and I do feel terrible for this, I am glad he got rebailed. I am scared the worst might happen and he gets charged. This way I still got some time with him and can make the best of it. I know it is selfish but I am scared. His mental state wasn't great especially at the beginning when his whole world collapsed. Obviously his relationship with the ex wife wasn't great but to realise his whole life was a lie really got him down. He frequently got a day, days or something even weeks were he doesnt want to leave the house and isnt talking to anybody except of me. Getting charged would just destroy him. I hate that there seems to be no end in sight.

We were informed that his case has now gone to the CPS. What does this mean? How long can this go on for now? Is it good or bad that it is at the CPS? Will we get any idea how the investigation is going?

[Arsenal12]

My partner got a letter through the post a few days and he is rebailed until March. We are both angry that this is still going on. Our life is on absolute on hold and there is no way for my partner to see his children for another 2 months. BUT, and I do feel terrible for this, I am glad he got rebailed. I am scared the worst might happen and he gets charged. This way I still got some time with him and can make the best of it. I know it is selfish but I am scared. His mental state wasn't great especially at the beginning when his whole world collapsed. Obviously his relationship with the ex wife wasn't great but to realise his whole life was a lie really got him down. He frequently got a day, days or something even weeks were he doesnt want to leave the house and isnt talking to anybody except of me. Getting charged would just destroy him. I hate that there seems to be no end in sight.

We were informed that his case has now gone to the CPS. What does this mean? How long can this go on for now? Is it good or bad that it is at the CPS? Will we get any idea how the investigation is going?

Very sorry to read about your horrid ongoing experience....

Many of us can directly relate to yours and your OH pain......

Firstly he is lucky to have such a great partner who is rightly standing by him and supporting......(many of us including myself can only dream of having such a supporting partner)...

You have probably heard this about hundred times......but this is a very long road......but you must stick in there....do what you are doing.......


Yes you will feel.....tired.....pain.....confused.....depressed ......but hang in there....you WILL come Through this ordeal.....


This perhaps might sound a tad harsh........but your OH Needs to snap out of any....depression...... Low self esteem....blaming himself ......etc.. Yes THIS can be very difficult.........


But essentially...... This can be the difference in fighting....and winning against the False accuser........

Some may disagree with me.....on this.....(please feel free to).........

But you really have to "man up"...... And when I say " you" I'm referring in general........and I'm referring to the general male going through hideous ordeals involving false allegations.....

You have two choices....... You feel sorry for yourself..........become depressed.......you go down that dark bleak road of self destruction......and blame your self.........your health deteriorates.... Mentally and physically.....

Meanwhile the evil hands of the False accuser are rubbing with joy further.....thier evil eyes....watching......and they Win.....

Or YOU ROLL your sleeves up and........and SAY TRY ME......instead of WHY ME...........Stand TALL.......KEEP YOUR CHIN UP........And say BRING IT ON FALSE ACCUSER......

and you WILL PULL through......you will win......


We all have one LIFE.......many doctors and specialists say.....a typical male has life expectancy of around 80.....should they be one of the lucky ones and remain in good health.......

Life Is precious...... Life Really IS short........

So WHY should WE GIVE up......or FADE AWAY.........and give the False accuser what they want.......

NO.......this is where all your inner power....all your inner strength....... All your self belief....should kick in.........your reserve tank will be needed when your running on empty.........but you will ride the storm......and eventually see the flickering light at the end of this dark....corrupt....bleak....tunnel.....


I sincerely wish you and you Oh all the best.......and hope your horrid ordeal.....brings you both closer.....and forever....

Hang in there you WILL WIN

Kind regards

A12

[wakingnightmare]

Hello

Ex recently rebailed, having read stories on here it was the best he could expect at this point. Case now going to CPS. From what I've read there is no timescale on how long this could take, I'm afraid you could be in for a long wait. OIC did indicate that there would be decision by his next bail date. I feel charge is inevitable in his circumstances and in some ways awful as it sounds I'd like them just to get on with it so he can do something to clear his name rather than this hideous limbo.

My Ex has very similar feelings to yours last time we spoke he said he didn't want to leave the house or see people. Has he seen his Dr or a Counsellor? Ex has started making list of potential witnesses & what they could bring to his defence

These are horrible situations to be in and I really feel for you both.

WN

[Living-nightmare]

Thank you very much for the kind word. I know his ex and sister are absolute nutters and whenever I spoke to anybody about them, not even knowing the knew each other, they just confirmed it. He is avoiding as much as possible to think or speak about it as it just makes him angry, frustrates him and gets him down. As I am still hoping for an NFA, I hope we wont need to think about witnesses or timelines. It's not great to ignore the problem but I dont want to think about the worst possible case as it will make it real. Once he gets charged, he will get suspended at work or might even loose his job. I dont earn enough money for both of us and as the legal aid solicitor hasnt given me a lot of hope for success. I would want to hire a private solicitor but I would need to use all my money I saved for a house deposit to do so. It's ridiculous how both of the FA just live a happy life with going on holidays and having more children and our life is on hold. Sorry to vent this much and I know very unfortunately a lot of people in this forumare just in the same situated. It s the endlessly frustrating feeling of not knowing and not being able to do anything.

[Lucky]

The hardest part of this process if often the 'Not Knowing' stage. Because you can't prepare for the unknown.

Keep your head up bud, and stay lucky

[Living-nightmare]

Very unfortunately my partner got charged today. In all fairness, it feel like a big joke. It has been almost 17months since he got arrested. The whole time there was no communication, absolutely nothing. All he got was one rebail date after the next and all of a sudden this. I am very angry and scared. Why would an inbestigation take so long?

I am very lost and dont quiet know what to do first. Once my partner tells his manager that he is charged he will most certainly loose his job and the solicitor he was assigned was incredible useless. My partner got charged without them even being there.

Are there any good legal aid solicitors in the london/south east england area? I am in an absolute emotional turmult

[can it get worse]

Very sorry to hear about the charge. Throughout these ordeals for us all - it still comes as a shock, even though we have been wishing for it all to go away.

Personally, I believe the police will have done minimal investigation. They are just being lead by CPs who have their targets. These kind of cases are high on the agenda. Anyone who has been a genuine victim fully deserves the best protection but the police/CPs seem to be too focused on their targets, rather than seeking truth. On a more positive note - this is why both parties are able to get legal representation. They are our voice. So it is now that you need to get a good solicitor/barrister who will fight for you. Concentrate on this in order to take your mind away from the charge decision. You may then find that you feel more optimistic as you can take control more in the 'game'.

I understand all your feelings and emotions. Everyday seems so hard to get through. Life is constantly in limbo but take each day at a time. Hold your head up and you will get there.

Members on here are always ready to support and advise.

I depended on it every day.

[Mr B]

Sorry to hear of the situation L-N

I can personally commend Andrew Smith of SBS Law in Luton. He travels a bit btw so may cover your area. He represented me. I was NFA's but for reasons I will not go into ended up needing him again.

On legal aid expect low comms until charged. When charged as your partner has been expect activity. He is a good duty sol.

He is in mid 50's & been doing this work for over 20 years. A deeply cynical character regarding the legal system. I cannot commend him highly enough

http://www.lawsbs.co.uk/

Luton Office

HTH
Mr B

[Rights Fighter]

Very unfortunately my partner got charged today. In all fairness, it feel like a big joke. It has been almost 17months since he got arrested. The whole time there was no communication, absolutely nothing. All he got was one rebail date after the next and all of a sudden this. I am very angry and scared. Why would an inbestigation take so long?

I am very lost and dont quiet know what to do first. Once my partner tells his manager that he is charged he will most certainly loose his job and the solicitor he was assigned was incredible useless. My partner got charged without them even being there.

Are there any good legal aid solicitors in the london/south east england area? I am in an absolute emotional turmult

I cannot recommend these enough

http://www.freemanssolicitors.net/si...ile/harvey_fox -= 24 hour duty solicitor


or http://www.freemanssolicitors.net/si...ee_kotecha_pau for trial - also a duty solicitor but not 24 hours


http://www.freemanssolicitors.net/si...file/paul_legg for trial



http://www.freemanssolicitors.net/si.../michael_field - this is the barrister they use.

[Living-nightmare]

Thank you so much for the kind words and advise. I will be ringing solicitors today and see who is available. This information still hasn't properly sunk in. It still feels loke somebody will just call and say we made a mistake and it s all over. It seems all so ridicoulous.

[Lucky]

Go with Riz at Arcadian Law.

He is highely recommended

[Living-nightmare]

Found guilty of 3 charges and still awaiting the rest

Very unfortunately my partner has been found guilty of 3 charges and is waiting for the rest. However, I do believe that if the jury didnt see through all the lies at this point, they will find him guilty of the rest I know it was naive but I really believed if he told the truth everything will be fine. The jury come back with those verdicts at 4.20pm and I wasnt prepared for this whatsoever. Everybody thought they would deliver tomorrow.

What are my options for an appeal? Our barrister and solicitor already said they would do it

[wakingnightmare]

I'm so so sorry x

I have absolutely nothing useful to offer advice wise but Im sure RF or one of the other knowledgeable members will be along soon in the meantime I'm sending big hugs.

[Living-nightmare]

Thank you wakingnightmare.

My partner suffered with really bad depression, self harming and suicidal thoughts and one attempt over the last few years. He looked absolutely destroyed when the jury gave their verdicts and I m scared he will do something stupid. He always said if he goes to prison, he wont come out again

I really need to know my options in regards to an appeal as this will keep me going.

In the last 3.5 years , I havent spend a single night by myself and we were making plans to have babies ... how everything can change within minutes

[wakingnightmare]

There are threads on here on appealing - I'm struggling to even log on to forums and can't search but you could try searching.

You need grounds to appeal so you will need to talk to your legal team initially but them I believe you need to ask for the transcripts from Court and you will need to go through to see if you can find anything e.g. Misdirection from the Judge

I understand your fears for your partner - supporting someone I have same fears for.

If he is sentenced it may well be an idea to contact the Prison Chaplain they seem a good support/link having read other threads on here.

x