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    I'll keep it as short as possible so I don't give too much away in a public forum that is monitored at times..

    However, Ex and Myself break up at the start of the year, I take the children under advice of the local childrens services. I return to allow mother access but beg and plead for Childrens Social Care (CSC) to send a chaperone for fear she would make false allegations. They decline.

    Ex see's the children three times, then is served with family court documents and promptly makes an allegation of Rape against me.

    This was made in feb, I was invited in, arrested and bailed in may- just before i was asked in. Ex partner is given a police caution(Same constabulary) for offences against myself. I am bailed for 6 weeks. She had accused me of raping her from the start of the relationship all the way up until the three contact appointments with the children.

    During the family court saga, she gave 3 statements all with differing stories as to how the "Rapes" happened. And then even the statement to the police differed to. I was rebailed without attendence at the 6 weeks, then again, then again and then again. THEN again today, I have been rebailed.

    HOWEVER!!!!!!!!--- A few days ago, Ex partner was given a harassment warning (My local constab) for online harassment against me.

    The OIC of the FA has refused to speak to me today to confirm rebail, instead has let a call handler tell me.

    This is obviously an exceptionally stressful time for me at the moment, she has accused me of raping her, abusing the children and loads of other little bits. because of these allegations, the family courts removed the children from me and gave them back to her. Because y'know, when a woman says she has been raped and puts on a huge front about how she is weak and timid- it gets believed. When really she was a vicious and consistent abuser at home.

    But, in my car when i attended the station (Which was searched- They even checked my tyres to see if they were legal) I had left E-Mails and copies of her conflicting family court statements. In the emails, (sent to me after allegations were made) She was begging me to comeback to her, inviting me to her new house, telling me how much she loved me and wanted to be with me. The officer saw these, and threw them around my car like they were rubbish.

    She was given a Police Caution for offences commited against myself.

    She has now been given a harassment warning for harassing me.

    But the investigating officer, when i initally reported the harassment to her, told me to "Grow Up". My local officers took a different view however.

    But, with all the evidence facing them, showing them that it is all false, shes accused others before and this is a malicious allegation. Why on earth are they carrying it on? its ruining my life. and ruining the relationship i had with my children, whom i had full custody of for 6 months.


  • #2
    I could of wrote this post myself that's how much alike your story is to mine SS Advised me to take court action until my ex made false allegation and then BOOM tables turned. My ex had to make allegations to get legal aid and also attended women's domestic violence groups to get ideas. I am sorry to see another person having the same nightmare the system is all wrong when it comes to family courts. False allegation seems the only way to get legal aid for some people

    Comment


    • #3
      Sorry to hear you awful traumatic experience Joebloggs..... I can directly understand what you are going through as I am going through a very similar ordeal myself.

      The police will always believe the "women" in these types of situations..... Like you say.... They portray the False Malicious accuser of being this....depressed... Abused...timid.....poor women when in fact it is all utter tosh!

      Meanwhile I lives are ruined images tarnished forever... Jobs lost...like yourself I have been Accused of multiple Rape by wife....assault....God knows what else she has lied to them about.

      The sad thing about these type of situations is the False accuser or "mother" does not think about what's best for the children....

      And a big point is....the POLICE almost rub their hands when they see a case like this.....Because all they can see....is meeting targets!!....impressing there superior..... Because in their eyes even if INNOCENT if a charge is brought and convicted.... Regardless of us being innocent...It would look good for the police.....and for there "public" stats/figures

      I don't have legal advice to offer....perhaps RIGHTS FIGHTER can help she is pretty awesome at giving info and advice.

      I found being active...going to gym...running...cycling helped me...relieve my stress albeit temporarly.

      Be strong fight for your kids....that's what my only focus is.....I have been denied contact for over 8 months... And cafcass officer said even if I was NFAD I still would not be able to see my kids straightaway....

      Hang in there pal.....there's one thing these terrible Malicious false accusers cannot take away from us .....and that's being a loving FATHER TO OUR KIDS.....

      Keep strong pal....hope you find a way through this.....it will be a long road....but you will make it....you will beat your false accuser....and one day you will look over your shoulder and think to your self.....I'm proud to say I got through that traumatic time in my life and made it.

      Kind regards A12
      Turn the pain into power. ::

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you guys.

        I knew it would happen, and I warned anyone and everyone that would and should of listened. That it would eventually happen.

        There are loads of extra details, like forcing her to make videos and photos- yet she works in the adult industry. And is now making video's with clients and friends apparently. (all whilst the children are in the next room sleeping too)

        And i'm sat here terrified of every knock at the door.

        The rebail notice came through the post today. Bailed till january 1st. And the investigating officer lied on the phone, to the call handler. I spoke to them at approx 1500 Sunday(times altered to not be too specific to individual case) and was told that the OIC had posted a rebail on FRIDAY- It wasn't posted until yesterday or varied until 1900 on sunday.

        This is the second time i feel they have been exceptionally unprofessional and am exceptionally tempted to make a complaint about the OIC. Would this be recommended?

        Comment


        • #5
          Mmmmm ......yes going down the route of complaining against the OIC?.....well in my own experience I complained about the OIC dealing with my "investigation/file....for being unproffesional etc....to the ipcc....who referred the Complaint to the PSD (who are not independent and work for the police!)...

          the response I received was literally.... "You are accused of rape and serious offences what do you expect!"... I even informed my local MP who i should point out was about as much use as a rotten Egg!!!!!! Absolute waste of space!!!!!

          So my advice would be yes go ahead and complain.....but seriously don't expect much action to be taken....

          Keep strong pal

          Regards A12
          Turn the pain into power. ::

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by joebloggs View Post
            Thank you guys.


            This is the second time i feel they have been exceptionally unprofessional and am exceptionally tempted to make a complaint about the OIC. Would this be recommended?

            Best to make no complaint until the matter is over - NFA or charge. To make a complaint stick it has to be serious and provable with no way for the officer to excuse their way out of it.

            I don't know what they've done (or not done) in your case, but often they have followed the rules, and sometimes things happen beyond their control.

            Complain now, and you could end up with an OIC determined to "make you pay". Leave it. For now.
            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

            Comment


            • #7
              Hard as it seems, hold off on the complaint. I totally agree with RF. Ultimately "They" are doing their job, and as we all know circumstances beyond their control happen.

              In our case bail,was set and on the morning of the first meeting, I received a call at work (8-15) from the OIC telling me that bail date had been changed, a letter had been sent, but they did not think we would receive it.

              Second bail date, my partner received a call from his brief the afternoon of Thursday asking if he had heard anything, as he could see on line that it "appeared" the meeting was not Friday morning as agreed. Again no letter, or call this time, and I took my partner to the police station. Again, he was told, sorry not expecting you, and lo and behold a letter arrives a couple of days later.

              Anyone of the "outside" world just cannot understand how we can be treated like this, but we can, and we have to accept it for now.

              Comment


              • #8
                Echoing Stayingstrong, "They" really are doing their job. Despite targets etc, the police nor the CPS get any monetary/career compensation the longer a case goes on. A good chat with my sol today really hit this home. Promise!!

                It truly is a case of hanging in there. You can't control anything that you can't control!

                I personally have been FA'd twice, and both times the OIC has seen sense very quickly. They're human. If you were presented with your case, imagine your (realistic) reaction to it. Theirs is likely the same.

                A BIG part of the case is what the OIC thinks. A big part. He/she is human, treat them as such, and they shall hopefully be likewise.
                Last edited by Quite Alone; 29 October 2015, 08:37 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
                  Best to make no complaint until the matter is over - NFA or charge. To make a complaint stick it has to be serious and provable with no way for the officer to excuse their way out of it.

                  I don't know what they've done (or not done) in your case, but often they have followed the rules, and sometimes things happen beyond their control.

                  Complain now, and you could end up with an OIC determined to "make you pay". Leave it. For now.
                  That kinda scared me because I've made a complaint against both the original OIC and the CPS and I haven't been told what's happening yet . I feel my complaints are justified and I just hope that they don't react badly to criticism because it would be wholly unprofessional of them to do so.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I made a complaint and basically got fobbed off with ambiguous answers. My defence sol at the time said it wasn't a good idea but I'm free now and have seen the "evidence" .
                    I'm about to make another one which hopefully is going to be quite damning and if I don't get the right answers this time I'll go public.

                    Again, can't say too much as we're hoping new evidence will assist an appeal for my OH, evidence that would have most likely resulted in a very different scenario had the bothered their backsides to investigate
                    They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by AmandaF View Post
                      I made a complaint and basically got fobbed off with ambiguous answers. My defence sol at the time said it wasn't a good idea but I'm free now and have seen the "evidence" .
                      I'm about to make another one which hopefully is going to be quite damning and if I don't get the right answers this time I'll go public.

                      Again, can't say too much as we're hoping new evidence will assist an appeal for my OH, evidence that would have most likely resulted in a very different scenario had the bothered their backsides to investigate
                      Investigate? If only!!
                      We have been at the receiving end of police failing to investigate before so we're not expecting much this time.
                      So pleased to hear that you have possibility of an appeal!
                      Really praying for you!
                      You've been such a great help to me and so many others I truly hope you will succeed in this.
                      Thanks AmandaF!!!
                      Big hugs
                      YoH

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Getting back on topic....
                        I wouldn't go ahead with a complaint at this stage but I know people have and been successful.
                        The system is so complicated that it's a gamble.
                        We can't predict what the outcome would be but as previously stated, it would be highly unprofessional for them to do anything that adversely affects a case under investigation.
                        I have no idea how the police handle these matters but I am a stickler for having things in writing so whatever you decide please, please keep copies of everything!!
                        Best of luck
                        YoH

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          A few people have been successful, but the majority have not. Best to make complaints after the case - because more could become evident of course, during the course of an "investigation".

                          Even then, most complaints fall on deaf ears, or are whitewashed, or they accept some (token gesture) but not the serious ones.

                          My friend Rob who got me into the mess (sorry business ) - he was released on appeal in 2001 - just over 14 years ago. He is STILL busy trying to sue the police. It's taken over his whole life. He's not living now. Just existing, as is his poor partner who is having to put up with this.
                          Last edited by Rights Fighter; 30 October 2015, 11:06 PM.
                          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thanks YoH , likewise.

                            I have discussed my case with a sol who was not involved and she said it sounds like "malicious prosecution" but that's very difficult to prove.

                            At the moment our sol is back on the case looking for anything in the latest prosecutions that could help us.
                            I'm not holding my breath, but he did seem genuinely concerned. I had always thought he and the QC did a poor job in the first palce but I'm trying to have faith!!

                            I think complaints need to be made at the right time, if ever that can be discerned, in order to have maximum impact
                            They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi,

                              Sorry for going so quiet, but thank you all so much for your advice and support.

                              Whilst at work I received a vpivemail from the OIC and by the time I had picked it up, they were off duty, just asking me to call them as soon as I got the message.

                              I am terrified now.

                              It's strange, the last ouple of days the FA has been getting accused over social media of making false allegations etc by numerous different men and woman, wholly independent of the FA they have made against me.

                              I'm now laying in bed, petrified at what is going to come next. It could be NFA or it could be come back in, we want to charge you. I'm so upset and scared.

                              Thank you all again, sincerely.

                              Rights fighter, I've seen you mention threads on creating false impressions and dispelling them.. but I can't seem to find any?

                              Thank you again ,

                              Comment

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