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Hi there
Let me tell you my story. I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder following abuse as a child. I get panic attacks, paranoia, dissassociations, freeze ups, impared judgement just to name a few symptoms.
In spite of all of this I fought my illness and eventually began studying engineering at a prestigious university in the uk. However the symptoms remain to this day.
Now uni halls of residence are well known as bad places for people with severe anxiety issues such as myself. As well as being openly hostile to young men with sexual assault claims (the vast majority unsubstantiated) running rampant.
Into this environment i arrived and problems began. But through strength and determination i pressed on despite suffering these symptoms on a daily basis. I made friends and even had a couple of sexual encounters.
One particular night in may of 2015 i was having severe problems and my judgement my mind was in tatters. An american exchange student, who it later turned out had been drinking initiated sexual activity with me. She even used the words "can we go to your room to ****". My judgement impared and acting impulsively i accepted her offer. Due to my illness i often have the impulse to masturbate several times a day so you can imagine what was going through my brain.
When i finally recovered my sences she was still encouraging me to have sex with her but something was amiss. I could hear banging on the door and a familiar voice. I stopped imediately and realised what was happening.
I found myself facing an angry mob. She was drunk but initially she didnt seem as drunk as her friends were making out. I was threatend, so i decided to go to the police. I was terrified, but i thought the police would be able to see the incident for what it was. Drunken student antics meets mental illness. I was arrested, spent 18 hours in cells and 4 hours in interview.
I gave my account to the police. I was read a statement that said i apparently kidnapped this person from a party. Given she was 4 stone heavier than me and wouldve been on the otherside of an electronically locked fire door it was impossible for me to do this.
Anyhow ive been on bail for over 7 months now. Rebailed twice, had a mental health assessment to see if my illness really did affect my judgement. My next bail date is the 4th of february. She has since gone back to america.
I have been told by a former flatmate that noone at my old halls of residence believes the allegation but i am still very afraid. I didnt rape the girl in question, i can only hope the criminal justice system can see sense.
Thanks for reading and yes i need help
Sorry for posting this here my mistake
Let me tell you my story. I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder following abuse as a child. I get panic attacks, paranoia, dissassociations, freeze ups, impared judgement just to name a few symptoms.
In spite of all of this I fought my illness and eventually began studying engineering at a prestigious university in the uk. However the symptoms remain to this day.
Now uni halls of residence are well known as bad places for people with severe anxiety issues such as myself. As well as being openly hostile to young men with sexual assault claims (the vast majority unsubstantiated) running rampant.
Into this environment i arrived and problems began. But through strength and determination i pressed on despite suffering these symptoms on a daily basis. I made friends and even had a couple of sexual encounters.
One particular night in may of 2015 i was having severe problems and my judgement my mind was in tatters. An american exchange student, who it later turned out had been drinking initiated sexual activity with me. She even used the words "can we go to your room to ****". My judgement impared and acting impulsively i accepted her offer. Due to my illness i often have the impulse to masturbate several times a day so you can imagine what was going through my brain.
When i finally recovered my sences she was still encouraging me to have sex with her but something was amiss. I could hear banging on the door and a familiar voice. I stopped imediately and realised what was happening.
I found myself facing an angry mob. She was drunk but initially she didnt seem as drunk as her friends were making out. I was threatend, so i decided to go to the police. I was terrified, but i thought the police would be able to see the incident for what it was. Drunken student antics meets mental illness. I was arrested, spent 18 hours in cells and 4 hours in interview.
I gave my account to the police. I was read a statement that said i apparently kidnapped this person from a party. Given she was 4 stone heavier than me and wouldve been on the otherside of an electronically locked fire door it was impossible for me to do this.
Anyhow ive been on bail for over 7 months now. Rebailed twice, had a mental health assessment to see if my illness really did affect my judgement. My next bail date is the 4th of february. She has since gone back to america.
I have been told by a former flatmate that noone at my old halls of residence believes the allegation but i am still very afraid. I didnt rape the girl in question, i can only hope the criminal justice system can see sense.
Thanks for reading and yes i need help
Sorry for posting this here my mistake
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