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  • Hello and feeling so lost

    Hello everyone
    Well this isn't a post I thought I would be writing a week ago
    My husband was arrested last Friday on suspicion of sexual assault - was accused of grabbing a woman's breast through her clothing. He also made a lewd comment in sheer embarrassment but she hasn't put this in her statement it seems. He hugged her and yes as he moved away he touched it. Was totally honest in his statement with his solicitor present who told him to just be honest. This was someone he knew relatively well (or thought he did).
    Was arrested a few hours later and 18 hours later (about) charged. In now on bail until 6th Jan.
    He feels suicidal has now been put on anti-d's by GP and awaiting counselling. I am also awaiting counselling.
    Our marriage was already in trouble and now this just compounds it. Solicitor wants me to be a witness (chief character witness I guess) and we have a huge list of people who will give character statements including a solicitor he knows.
    What more can we do ?
    I have to face Christmas with my children and this year was meant to be amazing. It isn't.

    Thank you for listening

  • #2
    Hello and welcome- sorry you had to find us especially at this time of year.

    Hang on there- you'll find loads of support and if you read other posts, you'll see a lot of people ate being found not guilty.
    They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by solost View Post
      Hello everyone
      Well this isn't a post I thought I would be writing a week ago
      My husband was arrested last Friday on suspicion of sexual assault - was accused of grabbing a woman's breast through her clothing. He also made a lewd comment in sheer embarrassment but she hasn't put this in her statement it seems. He hugged her and yes as he moved away he touched it. Was totally honest in his statement with his solicitor present who told him to just be honest. This was someone he knew relatively well (or thought he did).
      Was arrested a few hours later and 18 hours later (about) charged. In now on bail until 6th Jan.
      He feels suicidal has now been put on anti-d's by GP and awaiting counselling. I am also awaiting counselling.
      Our marriage was already in trouble and now this just compounds it. Solicitor wants me to be a witness (chief character witness I guess) and we have a huge list of people who will give character statements including a solicitor he knows.
      What more can we do ?
      I have to face Christmas with my children and this year was meant to be amazing. It isn't.

      Thank you for listening


      Hi solost,


      Since no one has yet to respond to your post I'll like to give some words of encouragement.


      Firstly I can't fully comprehend what your going through. I won't even bother saying I do)
      I've never been in your situation. I'm sorry this has happened to you.

      In relation to the act it's self, if it was honest mistake and your husband had zero intention of touching this woman's breast and he immediately apologised to her afterwards. Reassuring her that it was honest mistake, than I can't understand why she would even report that to the police. I'm a victim of a rape and that seems like a complete waste of time to me. But the police are under a duty of care to investigate every allegation brought to their attention, regardless of how minor or stupid it may seem to us.


      The fact that your husband was completely honest in his interview, should hopefully go in his favour.
      Please try not to worry to much and I know it's hard but try to enjoy Christmas with your family this year hopefully this gets sorted quickly in the new year.

      Please be careful with anti depressants they can be very useful but also they can make you feel worst.
      Depending on which one you take. Just try to keep that in mind.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by AmandaF View Post
        Hello and welcome- sorry you had to find us especially at this time of year.

        Hang on there- you'll find loads of support and if you read other posts, you'll see a lot of people ate being found not guilty.

        As AmandaF said, it's a bad time of year for this to have happened to you. People go to the police making false allegations for a variety of reasons: attention seeking; they fancy a quick £1K in "compensation" or just to cause trouble, especially if they "fancy" the person they have accused and have been rebuffed.

        You will get support and understanding from the vast majority of people on here. Hold on in there.
        People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

        PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you everyone for replying - you have made me cry yet again but because of your kindness

          We have had so many friends offer character witness statements - I am finding it hard to go out but am making myself.

          He is on a relatively 'harmless' anti-d and I know they can make you feel awful for a few weeks which I have warned him about.

          I must admit the mental health service is pretty rubbish at Christmas especially. I am paying to see someone myself next week even though I can't really afford it.

          Thanks once again everyone your words are much appreciated xx

          Comment


          • #6
            I probably should also say that the Detention Officer and Mental Health Nurse who I spoke to at the Police Station were amazing and so supportive to us and both said they thought he would be released no charge - obviously they also said it wasn't their decision which I understand. To then get this decision was a complete blow.
            Last edited by solost; 23 December 2015, 04:07 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              I have to say that I am rather surprised there is a charge given that the alleged assault was on a clothed breast. Hold on in there hon.
              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks Rights Fighter.
                Yes I was shocked too as I had gone to work (an important job that I couldn't not go to) thinking all would be ok and then this :/
                It was back and forward to the CPS for ages so there was obviously some doubt whether to charge or not.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Sounds like they are scraping the barrel to get any conviction of a sexual nature. Are you confident with the solicitor?
                  People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                  PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The solicitor is a criminal lawyer and was on duty at the time which was good.
                    He doesn't even want us to speak to any other solicitors in the practice as they don't have experience of cases of this nature and he has.
                    I have checked him out online and that seems the case thankfully. I have yet to meet him myself.
                    We have been told seeing him on 4th Jan, in Court for plea on 6th and then looking at Court around March

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Has he chosen a barrister yet? If not, which area roughly will the trial be held?
                      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Apparently our Solicitor can represent in Court too. Have also applied for Legal Aid too.
                        Thank you once again for your replies

                        p.s I've just checked again and he has Higher Court Rights. Is that what you meant ? Thanks
                        Last edited by solost; 23 December 2015, 05:46 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          That means he is a solicitor advocate so yes he can act as your advocate in Crown Court
                          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thank you that's good to hear as he can hopefully see the case through to the end

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Welcome to the forum - but sorry that you're in this situation.

                              It does come a surprise to be charged so quickly. It is very difficult being thrown in to this unexpected environment. My partner was FA'd - it was a total shock and very hard to lead a life by not being consumed in it all. Try to focus on other things and stay strong - I know that can feel impossible sometimes but you will get through this day by day. Try not to dwell on things and stay positive.

                              Were there any witnesses of the alleged complaint?

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