Arrested on suspicion off rape...

[benroth]

Hi,

I need some advice I was arrested on suspicion off rape this week with someone I had been talking online with for around 2 weeks, we had sexual content conversations from more or less the start of our conversations. We arranged for me to pick the person up and spend the night in a hotel......

Anyway sexual contact took place upon the other persons instigation in the hotel. I knew in my mind when I woke up the following morning that the relationship would not continue and took the other person home after they refused my offer to buy breakfast for us at the Hotel, I had breakfast leaving the other person in the room.

I returned to the room after I had my breakfast and we left the hotel 5 or so minutes later and I dropped the other person back at what I thought was their home address. it appears a false name and address were given too me.

I had several texts from this person that morning whilst I was spending time with my children and so did not reply. The following morning I sent a text stating I don't thing we are compatible, sorry, wish you all the luck and take care....

There then was a flurry of emails between us 5 or 6 where the other persons anger spilled out somewhat and a comment was made "was it rape or consensual" I stupidly replied "go for it" and they did.

Thankfully I did not delete any of the text threads, email threads or FB private messages where it quite clearly states his person wanted to have sex with me......

I'm just a little perplexed as to why this accusation has been made? I've done nothing wrong, it was consensual as I stated at the start of my thread this person instigated the sex.......why was I the one arrested?

[Bene]

Hi,

I need some advice I was arrested on suspicion off rape this week with someone I had been talking online with for around 2 weeks, we had sexual content conversations from more or less the start of our conversations. We arranged for me to pick the person up and spend the night in a hotel......

Anyway sexual contact took place upon the other persons instigation in the hotel. I knew in my mind when I woke up the following morning that the relationship would not continue and took the other person home after they refused my offer to buy breakfast for us at the Hotel, I had breakfast leaving the other person in the room.

I returned to the room after I had my breakfast and we left the hotel 5 or so minutes later and I dropped the other person back at what I thought was their home address. it appears a false name and address were given too me.

I had several texts from this person that morning whilst I was spending time with my children and so did not reply. The following morning I sent a text stating I don't thing we are compatible, sorry, wish you all the luck and take care....

There then was a flurry of emails between us 5 or 6 where the other persons anger spilled out somewhat and a comment was made "was it rape or consensual" I stupidly replied "go for it" and they did.

Thankfully I did not delete any of the text threads, email threads or FB private messages where it quite clearly states his person wanted to have sex with me......

I'm just a little perplexed as to why this accusation has been made? I've done nothing wrong, it was consensual as I stated at the start of my thread this person instigated the sex.......why was I the one arrested?

Hi benroth,

I'm sorry that you have found yourself here and this happened to you.
As you have mentioned, you still have the old Facebook messages and text conversations between you and this person. Hopefully that supports your account. Did the police take your phone and Facebook details so they can download the messages?
From my understanding and personal experience retrieving text messages takes a while.
I recall in my investigation, ( I've not been falsely accused ) but a victim of a rape. I have the police my my Facebook details so they could download messages between my rapist. They didn't even bother to do that. But had the nerve to ask me to do that instead, so I had to print all the messages, and do there job annoying!!! They were many leads I gave them and they didn't follow them up) I really don't want to scare you, but I would strongly suggest you priniting out all the conversation between you and this person on Facebook. And make 2 copies one, for yourself to keep for you and your solicitor to have to
Hold off, and other copy give to the police.


Please try not to take this the wrong way, but I'll pray that God gives you wisdom to make better wiser decisions next time. This might sound mean, ) but at least now you know better.

Try not to worry to much about why they reported the rape. God knows why these people lie, or why they rape.



Sometimes things look so straight forward to us, and we want a quick result, from my understanding sometimes it may take 3 months for a decision to be made. Or 8 months. The police have to be seen to have fully investigate every allegation.
Regardless of how silly the story seems,
Just hang in there, I'll pray God gives you peace and helps you get through it.


God bless
X

[joe_3178]

Sorry to hear about this. It does sound as though you have good supporting information to help in this case. Sadly as you will gather the police won't be easily put off and will conduct their investigation. To offer some reassurance a lot of people get an NFA when their case is submitted to the CPS because the CPS have to be confident there is a chance of conviction in order to bring a case to court. I hope you are in this category.

If you think about the ched Evans case for example, he engaged in sex with someone who he had no prior history with until he was in the hotel room. You have solid information showing the accuser (female or male even) had various communications in advance. Difficult therefore for anyone to believe you took advantage.

Have you been arrested and interviewed? How was the interview?

This is going to be a rough ride for you, make sure you keep positive and if you can confide in a very good friend or family to help get you through

[joe_3178]

Bene, there isn't really anything wrong with hooking up with someone you've mutually arranged to meet. It can be risky but it's not illegal and for many might be a positive life choice.

Also, I agree with your advice about printing off messages and I agree it's important to remember that the police have a duty to investigate all such reports

[Cazzle18]

Hi,

I need some advice I was arrested on suspicion off rape this week with someone I had been talking online with for around 2 weeks, we had sexual content conversations from more or less the start of our conversations. We arranged for me to pick the person up and spend the night in a hotel......

Anyway sexual contact took place upon the other persons instigation in the hotel. I knew in my mind when I woke up the following morning that the relationship would not continue and took the other person home after they refused my offer to buy breakfast for us at the Hotel, I had breakfast leaving the other person in the room.

I returned to the room after I had my breakfast and we left the hotel 5 or so minutes later and I dropped the other person back at what I thought was their home address. it appears a false name and address were given too me.

I had several texts from this person that morning whilst I was spending time with my children and so did not reply. The following morning I sent a text stating I don't thing we are compatible, sorry, wish you all the luck and take care....

There then was a flurry of emails between us 5 or 6 where the other persons anger spilled out somewhat and a comment was made "was it rape or consensual" I stupidly replied "go for it" and they did.

Thankfully I did not delete any of the text threads, email threads or FB private messages where it quite clearly states his person wanted to have sex with me......

I'm just a little perplexed as to why this accusation has been made? I've done nothing wrong, it was consensual as I stated at the start of my thread this person instigated the sex.......why was I the one arrested?

I think this is a case of 'a woman scorned'. Has the hotel got CCTV in position to show she was more than happy to meet with you in the first place? Keep everything texts and emails ... make copies if you can. My heart goes out to you. My brother has been falsely accused of historic rape (also a 'revenge' case sadly....but, very different circumstances to yours). Keep strong and keep us all updated xxx

[benroth]

I take on Bene's comments....I should not have put myself in that situation in the 1st place.....I am old enough to know better....

Thank you for the other encouraging comments, like I said in the original post I have all the chat logs and will indeed print them off and yes when I was arrested I handed my phone over too the arresting officer before it was asked for, I also offered my computer to be taken by them, I have got nothing to hide, I gave the police my Facebook details so they could see the messages that were still there, like the texts and emails thankfully I did not delete them.

I am bailed till Jan, what should I do now? I had a duty solicitor at the time, should I get my own one now or what? This is all alien to me, I'm in my forties, not been in trouble with the police since I got caught shop lifting at 11, I've done nothing wrong....but to be accused of something so terrible is affecting me.......

Benroth.

[Bene]

I take on Bene's comments....I should not have put myself in that situation in the 1st place.....I am old enough to know better....

Thank you for the other encouraging comments, like I said in the original post I have all the chat logs and will indeed print them off and yes when I was arrested I handed my phone over too the arresting officer before it was asked for, I also offered my computer to be taken by them, I have got nothing to hide, I gave the police my Facebook details so they could see the messages that were still there, like the texts and emails thankfully I did not delete them.

I am bailed till Jan, what should I do now? I had a duty solicitor at the time, should I get my own one now or what? This is all alien to me, I'm in my forties, not been in trouble with the police since I got caught shop lifting at 11, I've done nothing wrong....but to be accused of something so terrible is affecting me.......

Benroth.

Dear be broth,

Please don't be to hard on yourself!! Sometimes in life we have to learn the easiest lessons the hardest way.
I've never been in your shoes so I honestly don't know. Other members on here who have can be more useful to you regarding what to do next.

One important thing is that you haven't been charged and might not.
My understanding Is that a solicitor can't do much unless you've been charged. If I'm wrong I apologise)
But you can still research online local criminal defence solicitors, can offer you free legal advice.
You have 2 options as what you can do next) 1) fall apart allow this to destroy you. 2) try to be strong try to remain positive and get on with your life the best you can. I know it's hard.
Wish you all the best!!
God bless

[hello88]

I take on Bene's comments....I should not have put myself in that situation in the 1st place.....I am old enough to know better....

Thank you for the other encouraging comments, like I said in the original post I have all the chat logs and will indeed print them off and yes when I was arrested I handed my phone over too the arresting officer before it was asked for, I also offered my computer to be taken by them, I have got nothing to hide, I gave the police my Facebook details so they could see the messages that were still there, like the texts and emails thankfully I did not delete them.

I am bailed till Jan, what should I do now? I had a duty solicitor at the time, should I get my own one now or what? This is all alien to me, I'm in my forties, not been in trouble with the police since I got caught shop lifting at 11, I've done nothing wrong....but to be accused of something so terrible is affecting me.......

Benroth.

Hello, sorry to see you on here and in the situation you are.... i'm supporting my FA'd husband for historic child sex abuse... i have recently found through the facebook some relevant information from the accusers mum, i also have received messages from the person who got the accuser to accuse threatning to make us 'loose our home and family' ect.... all, what is hopefully, good stuff (well for us not them lol)... soooo a friend who received one of the messages showed them to the OIC (officer in charge) and they said they'd be looking into all their facebooks.... well a couple of weeks ago (5 months later) i get a phonecall from the new OIC and she was unaware of these messages..... so i screenshot them, (best way apparantly as hard to change) and went through accusers and accusers mums facebook and screenshot mass's of relevant information (and kept some behind just in case) and then sent it to OIC through email.... - i have gmail with streak so i can see if they;ve looked at the emails.... so the polcie can never turn round and say they never saw them (unless they say their account was hacked which would just b stupid) ive basically had to do the investigating for them and with bail date next week i'm hoping it worked (slight thought it might be as person who got the person who made the accusation walked past me looking absoloutly devestated (might just be wishful thinking) anyway..... all helps, keep strong and keep a back up of everything!!!! Keep strong