The waiting game!!!!

[Rights Fighter]

......................

I too was interviewed 5 months ago, no arrest, no charge, no contact since. I even emailed the solicitor for an update or advise 2 weeks ago but no contact, it just goes to prove you need a good solicitor rather than just use the local solicitor as I did. ...........................

It's entirely possible that there is no update at all, which is why the sol has not replied. Whether a solicitor is "good" or not has no impact on updates from the police or CPS. If you think about it, if they feel they have to take the time to tell people that "there is no update today," every day, then that's a valuable part of their time wasted when they could be working on another person's case who has been charged, while doing that.

I often get emails asking me for updates on a case I am working on. If there is no update it would be a waste of my time, and theirs, emailing everyone saying "there is no update today".



Hold on in there. All you can do is to sit it out.

[Chris1]

All this waiting is one of the hardest parts. It's like your life is in a cruel limbo where you can't really move forward and it really wears you down. I have been waiting for 8.5 months in total myself. I was interviewed but not arrested and the case has been with the CPS for 3.5 months now. I have been told a number of times I will get a decision from them and have even been given specific dates. However, the first time the CPS gave me a date was 8 weeks ago and I'm sitting here still waiting... I do feel for anyone else in this situation because it is a horrible position to be in and very unfair. It doesn't make sense how it can take so long. In my case I would have thought it was clear that the FA lied. The justice system doesn't seem to give a **** about the impact the delays have on those who are falsely accused. It really is a sorry state of affairs
.

[Aidy]

**Quick Update**

Mum got asked to go to the police station today....after initially thinking they didn't want to speak to her at the police station (this is what my sister had said anyway)

They put several things to her, including that she was made aware by the accuser that I had shown her porn magazines!!
She basically denied everything they put to her..
Also was asking about her house (layout and bedrooms etc)

She was asked if she would be willing to go to court?
The OIC said this could go to court!!!

I was doing well over the last week!
And now it's shook me up yet again!!

Is there any significance in any of this?
Or is it just a formal process that the police go through??

Feel like **** again now : (

[TBG1]

Hi Aidy,

Yes, I understand your feeling - but from what you've said, this seems like a good thing to me.


Good in that they are actually conducting an investigation....speaking to people that might be able to shed light on the matter one way or another. In this case, it would appear that your Mum's interview only strengthens your denial of any wrong-doing. So that's good isn't it?


As for asking whether she would be prepared to go to court, other posters who have experience may well correct me, but I am under the impression that anyone that is interviewed (as a witness or "victim") in a criminal investigation is routinely asked whether they would be prepared to attend court if the case goes that far. So your Mum being asked does not at all suggest that it is more (or less) likely to go to court .... it's just a standard question that is asked of witnesses.


I hope you can find a way to calm your mind a little - it really is exhausting being anxious all the time isnt' it?


Best Wishes to you.

TBG1

[Rights Fighter]

**Quick Update**

Mum got asked to go to the police station today....after initially thinking they didn't want to speak to her at the police station (this is what my sister had said anyway)

They put several things to her, including that she was made aware by the accuser that I had shown her porn magazines!!
She basically denied everything they put to her..
Also was asking about her house (layout and bedrooms etc)

She was asked if she would be willing to go to court?
The OIC said this could go to court!!!

I was doing well over the last week!
And now it's shook me up yet again!!

Is there any significance in any of this?
Or is it just a formal process that the police go through??

Feel like **** again now : (

If any of your family (or other people) who could be useful to the defence, are questioned by the police and then told they will be prosecution witnesses and cannot talk to the defence side, they are lying.

Family members and other potential defence witnesses who are told they might be witnesses for the prosecution, cannot discuss the evidence in the case with you, but they can speak with you on other matters that are unrelated.

The solicitor can speak with them and take a statement from them, should there be a charge.

[Aidy]

If any of your family (or other people) who could be useful to the defence, are questioned by the police and then told they will be prosecution witnesses and cannot talk to the defence side, they are lying.

Family members and other potential defence witnesses who are told they might be witnesses for the prosecution, cannot discuss the evidence in the case with you, but they can speak with you on other matters that are unrelated.

The solicitor can speak with them and take a statement from them, should there be a charge.

From what I can gather, I don't think the police said to my mum that she couldn't speak to me?!
Just all very confusing to me

[Rights Fighter]

Good! Hope they don't. My post was one for "just in case". Redscouse's family were told they could not speak at all to him which meant their material evidence wasn't put to the jury. This time it will be.

[Aidy]

Good! Hope they don't. My post was one for "just in case". Redscouse's family were told they could not speak at all to him which meant their material evidence wasn't put to the jury. This time it will be.

Ok thanks for the advice

[hello88]

I think the reality of this situation as finally hit me today!
Don't get me wrong, I am actually in good spirits (albeit a few wobbles along the way!)
But I emailed my solicitor earlier just to gauge a few things about the case eg is the bail date likely to change, is there anyway of removing the unsupervised access with my kids and just her general feeling about the whole case and if she thinks the CPS will charge?

Of course it's highly likely that Feb will change for the bail date, this I'm pretty sure of!!!

I can pay to put the bail conditions to a court (although according to my solicitor, the only conditions she was told about was told my only bail conditions were not to contact the accuser) (so that seems a little strange) but I think I would be willing to try it anyway!

She has no idea how this will go?
Some of the strange things that she has seen have proved this, so we will just have to wait and see!

The good thing she said is that the accuser keeps changing her story, so this is good for me!

Just wanted to get that out there!

Hi I havent read your whole story, just this thread (or i might of read the whole story and not linked it to you as my brain is a bit of a zombie)

But.... regarding supervised access this might be something from the Child Protection department, or a decision made by the Social Services. Its not on my OH bail conditions either, but was told for him to leave the house, or my children to have to leave (go into care) and not have contact with his children a whole week before he was actually arrested with no contact with his children for several more weeks. He now has supervised contact twice a week.

I have realised they're are some strange advantages to this.... one is to protect yourself from being accused when in contact with children unsupervised (if that makes sense, basically so no one can come up with a lie regarding you being around children for the past/next few months) also we are fully aware that if things got worse (new information/charged) then it means that my OH hasn't come home only to be told to leave again which would be more damaging to our children. I'd realised that as hurtful as it is for myself and children that i'd rather things be properly sorted and my husband can come home permanently instead of worrying that tomorrow he might be 'taken away' again.

Supervised access may only seem like SS advice but if not followed it can give reason for SS to put your children into care (as they won't be seen to be protected) and that would be a lot harder to not only see them, but get them back. Have you had any meetings with SS yet, (Child protection or child in need) have you signed any agreements with them???

My best advice is to do what they suggest and when they have built trust in you and learn more about the situation then they may be more relaxed about contact.

Hope this helps (and not make you feel worse) and also this is just based on what i've been through, i know different ss work differently in different areas.

keep strong