OH suspected of historic sexual abuse

[hello88]

I really appreciate the honest answers even if its not always want I want to hear , as OH and I don't have a clue how any of this works, neither of us have been in trouble with the police before and so this is all so new for us and no one has informed us of the procedures ect, as i'm sure it is for many of you. For months I've been hoping that December we would be told... we're taking it further, or... all cleared up, you can go home to your family. But realised that that is unlikely, but now I know what is realistically likely to happen when it comes to December instead of my unrealistic fairy-tale happy ending, just don't know if ss would allow oh to come home if the police decide to take it to cps with the recommendation of NFA?? Its looking highly unlikely that oh will be home for Christmas

Anyway, on a lighter note thank you for all your replies, i'm going to try and narrow down my internet time on this case to once a week as it is swallowing me up and i'm not prioritising my little one's. I have a children in need meeting on Tuesday and hoping the school don't bring up the fact that I haven't done homework or reading with the kids all week as been so mentally drained thinking and worrying about every little thing.... anyway, will update you all Tuesday but so so grateful for all your replies, and I cannot believe I have come across this forum, its like a ray of light in a very very dark night, just wondering as well, obviously its hard for people to explain were they are from but is anyone in the south west area????

Keep strong everyone, you are all in prayers tonight, wouldn't wish this on anyone.... xxx

[Rights Fighter]

I don't want to question what you said here Rights Fighter, as you come across as well versed on such matters!!!
However someone put some figures on here (maybe yesterday?) about the stats for 2014...and unless I read it wrong, that a lot of cases don't make it to the cps??

Maybe I've read that wrong?

I tend to not rely on statistics, but on people's experiences from here and from other support forums, plus from the work I do, where I see that the most unlikely cases (going from the paperwork I have read) have been proceeded with by the CPS, yet others, where there's been an NFA or No-Crime (these days not much difference between the two) there's been far more evidence that suggests "something" might have happened.

I am not arguing with anyone, just going from personal experience from my work. Stats can be massaged to suit whoever is referring to them, of course, as we all know.

Best to not rely on statistics at all.

[Aidy]

I tend to not rely on statistics, but on people's experiences from here and from other support forums, plus from the work I do, where I see that the most unlikely cases (going from the paperwork I have read) have been proceeded with by the CPS, yet others, where there's been an NFA or No-Crime (these days not much difference between the two) there's been far more evidence that suggests "something" might have happened.

I am not arguing with anyone, just going from personal experience from my work. Stats can be massaged to suit whoever is referring to them, of course, as we all know.

Best to not rely on statistics at all.

I never really thought of it that way!
And I certainly wasn't looking for trouble lol X

I guess there are a number of reasons why some go the whole nine yards, and other cases are Nfa!!

[Rights Fighter]

Rather than looking at statistics and potential sentences as some do, it's better to work on your defence now, in case you need it later on. Researching stats and sentences won't help your case at all.

Have a dedicated notebook where you write in information that relates to the alleged incident(s), the accuser(s), who was around at the time (potential witnesses should you need them) etc.

Act in a positive manner towards building a defence. The rest doesn't matter.

[Lilyput]

How is that inconsistent with everything you've read on this forum? Most people who are accused of sexual abuse (rightly or wrongly) usually have to wait for the police to pass it over to the CPS and then it's another wait.

Sometimes the police will NFA it, or if they are not sure that it should go to the CPS, it might go to a "gatekeeper" often ex police, who will make a decision whether it should go to the CPS, or not.

Most times though, it will be sent to the CPS direct from the police, it really depends on the "evidence" they have gathered.

I meant the CPS taking weeks rather than months as not yet read a case where its only been weeks.

[Rights Fighter]

So sorry OIC said our had to go to CPS and it would be a 'few more weeks yet' that is inconsistant with everything ive read on this forum. I cant believe it takes so long thats without a doubt the cruelest part of this.


I hope the courts see past this for you and can tell the truth from the lies <3

Many people are told it might / will "be a few weeks" and it's gone into months.

It might only be a few weeks, but there again, it could be a few months, or longer....

Maybe the OIC meant it would be a few more weeks before it goes to the CPS. Who knows? Don't read anything into it.

[Lilyput]

How is that inconsistent with everything you've read on this forum? Most people who are accused of sexual abuse (rightly or wrongly) usually have to wait for the police to pass it over to the CPS and then it's another wait.

Sometimes the police will NFA it, or if they are not sure that it should go to the CPS, it might go to a "gatekeeper" often ex police, who will make a decision whether it should go to the CPS, or not.

Most times though, it will be sent to the CPS direct from the police, it really depends on the "evidence" they have gathered.

OIC is probaly trying to avoid too many phone calls. Btw if i can inbox you area could you let me know s good sol in the area in case it is bad news.

[Arsenal12]

Rights Fighter do you know how I can edit my first original Post?

RF would you know how I can edit my original Post/thread?????

Thank you
A12

[Rights Fighter]

Arsenal you will have to ask a moderator - Casehardened.

[Rights Fighter]

OIC is probaly trying to avoid too many phone calls. Btw if i can inbox you area could you let me know s good sol in the area in case it is bad news.

No need to inbox me.

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...7638#post57638

I know these take some trawling through, but if you look for a sol and barrister in the area where any trial might take place (usually where the alleged incidents happened), you might find some in the list provided.

[matt1701]

Dear Rights Fighter.....

No need to inbox me.

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...7638#post57638

I know these take some trawling through, but if you look for a sol and barrister in the area where any trial might take place (usually where the alleged incidents happened), you might find some in the list provided.

Hello Rights Fighter,
I have been reading your posts and comments throughout the forum with interest and I would be very much obliged if you would take a moment to read through my story and offer any thoughts. -

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...7895#post57895


You seem to be very well clued up and your advice could be invaluable to me and my family.
Many thanks

[YearsOfHell]

Hello Rights Fighter,
I have been reading your posts and comments throughout the forum with interest and I would be very much obliged if you would take a moment to read through my story and offer any thoughts. -

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...7895#post57895


You seem to be very well clued up and your advice could be invaluable to me and my family.
Many thanks

Hi Matt
There are things you can be doing while you're living this nightmare.
The waiting in limbo is torturous so make it positive.
Start a timeline, notebook etc.
Write down anything and everything from the times of these incidents.
Even if it seems insignificant. You would be surprised what can be used later on.
You seem to already have evidence, so make copies and keep in a safe place.
Gather as much info as you can, not only could this be useful if you're charged but it will help you to focus on evidence that may prove your innocence.
You've not yet been charged so think positively.
Any legal questions you will have to point in your legal advisors direction, but we're here for support.
Don't panic, stay focussed.
YoH