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Please help! Any advice would be much appreciated :(
In 1999 at the age of 20, I was invited back to an 18 year old female's house after we had been to the pub. One thing lead to another and there was a little foreplay (no actual sex) I stayed all night and after a brief, pleasant chat in the morning. I went home a little hungover.
4 months later she called me up really drunk accusing me of rape. I immediately responded with "I don't know what you're playing at, but I suggest you phone the Police." She didn't, and fairly quickly the accusation became common knowledge between our mutual friends. I was open and honest about it and never avoided discussing it, then, or since. Almost as soon as it started, the allegation faded out and I got the impression that she'd just regretted our one night stand and rather than having to admit she was embarrassed, she foolishly pulled the rape card. Stupid, but not uncommon sadly. Everyone who knew about it was in agreement with me as far as I know.
Fast forward to September 2008. Another female friend of mine accompanied me home from the pub (neither of us were drunk) where we had sex - initiated by her. Afterwards, she seemed a little awkward and then told me that she had a boyfriend in another town and asked me not to tell anyone we had slept together because she didn't want him to know. This made me feel a bit weird but I respected the request and honored it. She later got a taxi home.
My friend remembers us both leaving the pub and he got the impression we were going to sleep together. He is happy to give a statement supporting this but the Police never contacted him or anyone else who I asked them to call in support of my case.
Myself and girl 2, stayed in touch regularly and on Christmas day of the same year, she spent most of the day with me at my house - just the two of us (Facebook messages verifying all of this have been passed to the police.) Over the next few months we grew apart a little, not in a weird way -and then in the summer of 2012, while at a party, she came out with the accusation that I had raped her. She is also friends with my first accuser and the previous accusation was already known to her at the time of her complaint.
This time I was a little more upset. We had been good friends and I couldn't understand why she would do such a thing. When I found out about it I again concentrated on affirming my innocence and for her to contact the police rather than shouting about it tastelessly in public. Again, everything calmed down.
In March of this year I was arrested on suspicion of 3 counts of rape. The 2 mentioned above and a third - ANOTHER mutual friend of the first 2. She was also a close friend of mine who I had fallen out of touch with. We had slept together on one occasion in the past with NO shadow of a doubt about consent and I again, have facebook messages showing that we were still in cordial contact for some months afterwards. I had no idea about this accusation until the Police told me.
The first accusation from 1999, I see as a separate beast from the others. It was clearly a poorly conceived attempt to cover embarrassment on her part and it was fairly obvious. I wasn't even that bugged about it at the time because it was such an obvious sham.
The next two are a little darker.
Both of the latter girls and myself - and indeed all of our social group at the time were heavy Ketamine users.
They have both spun this fact with their complaints to imply that I had given them drugs and then gone on to take advantage of them. The fact is we ALL took drugs at that time and sleeping with someone on drugs was no different to sleeping with someone who had been drinking tea. It's sad but true. I reiterate there was NEVER and question of doubt regarding consent in any of these cases and the facebook evidence shows clearly that the accusations came into being LONG after the incidents after a remaining period of friendship in both cases. In the case of girl 1, I regret that it's simply my word against hers. It was 16 years ago and there was no social networking back then.
In the cases of girls 2 and 3 -
Thankfully, as I said, there is good facebook evidence to at least prove that we were still in regular friendly contact long after the times of the respective complaints in BOTH cases. This doesn't detract from the fact that these accusations are AWFUL and without knowing all the facts it would be easy to judge.
I was bailed in March to return in October. The OIC called me two days before my bail date to tell me that the case was being sent to the CPS for a decision and that I was at that point being taken OFF bail while waiting to hear what's going to happen???
So now I'm waiting to hear if I am to be charged, mentally ruined with my career on the line and Chinese whispers all around me regarding the case - which the Police are STILL forbidding me to discuss which is fueling suspicion.
I have also discovered that NONE of the five people whom the police should have contacted regarding my side of the story have heard from them, much less given statements. The Police said there was "A lack of willingness to give statements" from some of them and "Difficulty contacting" others. Having checked with all involved they're all happy to talk to the police and my solicitor has sent their numbers to the Police asking them to follow it up.
So here I am Tick, Tock. I'm petrified of being prosecuted and publicly shamed. I am the primary carer for my Dad, he has Alzheimers disease - If I'm imprisoned wrongly over this bull**** - he will very likely die while i'm inside.
If anyone has had any similar experiences or can offer any advice I would be very much indebted to you.
4 months later she called me up really drunk accusing me of rape. I immediately responded with "I don't know what you're playing at, but I suggest you phone the Police." She didn't, and fairly quickly the accusation became common knowledge between our mutual friends. I was open and honest about it and never avoided discussing it, then, or since. Almost as soon as it started, the allegation faded out and I got the impression that she'd just regretted our one night stand and rather than having to admit she was embarrassed, she foolishly pulled the rape card. Stupid, but not uncommon sadly. Everyone who knew about it was in agreement with me as far as I know.
Fast forward to September 2008. Another female friend of mine accompanied me home from the pub (neither of us were drunk) where we had sex - initiated by her. Afterwards, she seemed a little awkward and then told me that she had a boyfriend in another town and asked me not to tell anyone we had slept together because she didn't want him to know. This made me feel a bit weird but I respected the request and honored it. She later got a taxi home.
My friend remembers us both leaving the pub and he got the impression we were going to sleep together. He is happy to give a statement supporting this but the Police never contacted him or anyone else who I asked them to call in support of my case.
Myself and girl 2, stayed in touch regularly and on Christmas day of the same year, she spent most of the day with me at my house - just the two of us (Facebook messages verifying all of this have been passed to the police.) Over the next few months we grew apart a little, not in a weird way -and then in the summer of 2012, while at a party, she came out with the accusation that I had raped her. She is also friends with my first accuser and the previous accusation was already known to her at the time of her complaint.
This time I was a little more upset. We had been good friends and I couldn't understand why she would do such a thing. When I found out about it I again concentrated on affirming my innocence and for her to contact the police rather than shouting about it tastelessly in public. Again, everything calmed down.
In March of this year I was arrested on suspicion of 3 counts of rape. The 2 mentioned above and a third - ANOTHER mutual friend of the first 2. She was also a close friend of mine who I had fallen out of touch with. We had slept together on one occasion in the past with NO shadow of a doubt about consent and I again, have facebook messages showing that we were still in cordial contact for some months afterwards. I had no idea about this accusation until the Police told me.
The first accusation from 1999, I see as a separate beast from the others. It was clearly a poorly conceived attempt to cover embarrassment on her part and it was fairly obvious. I wasn't even that bugged about it at the time because it was such an obvious sham.
The next two are a little darker.
Both of the latter girls and myself - and indeed all of our social group at the time were heavy Ketamine users.
They have both spun this fact with their complaints to imply that I had given them drugs and then gone on to take advantage of them. The fact is we ALL took drugs at that time and sleeping with someone on drugs was no different to sleeping with someone who had been drinking tea. It's sad but true. I reiterate there was NEVER and question of doubt regarding consent in any of these cases and the facebook evidence shows clearly that the accusations came into being LONG after the incidents after a remaining period of friendship in both cases. In the case of girl 1, I regret that it's simply my word against hers. It was 16 years ago and there was no social networking back then.
In the cases of girls 2 and 3 -
Thankfully, as I said, there is good facebook evidence to at least prove that we were still in regular friendly contact long after the times of the respective complaints in BOTH cases. This doesn't detract from the fact that these accusations are AWFUL and without knowing all the facts it would be easy to judge.
I was bailed in March to return in October. The OIC called me two days before my bail date to tell me that the case was being sent to the CPS for a decision and that I was at that point being taken OFF bail while waiting to hear what's going to happen???
So now I'm waiting to hear if I am to be charged, mentally ruined with my career on the line and Chinese whispers all around me regarding the case - which the Police are STILL forbidding me to discuss which is fueling suspicion.
I have also discovered that NONE of the five people whom the police should have contacted regarding my side of the story have heard from them, much less given statements. The Police said there was "A lack of willingness to give statements" from some of them and "Difficulty contacting" others. Having checked with all involved they're all happy to talk to the police and my solicitor has sent their numbers to the Police asking them to follow it up.
So here I am Tick, Tock. I'm petrified of being prosecuted and publicly shamed. I am the primary carer for my Dad, he has Alzheimers disease - If I'm imprisoned wrongly over this bull**** - he will very likely die while i'm inside.
If anyone has had any similar experiences or can offer any advice I would be very much indebted to you.
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