Life Changed Overnight

[False_uk]

Hi guys, This site has been a massive help for me over the last few days so firstly thanks for existing.

My story is a bit of a long one with loads of parts but I will simplify as much as possible not to drone on.

I was accused of a rape after a night out. Took into the police station and treated quite well infact. I was accused of anally, vaginally and orally raping a women. However i was in such a state of intoxication and drugs I couldnt even get erect, I admitted there might of been penetration because I genuinely wasn't 100 percent sure, I was 99 percent sure it was only oral sex. What in my opinion was a consensual messy night, resulted in being arrested for rape. I cant even watch rape in fiction the idea absolutely repulses me.

The girl woke up in the morning and said 'I dont want to get you hurt'. Which was beyond confusing. She then said Ive left my number and ran off crying, before coming back and then running off again. This should be seen by neighbors. I was arrested a few days later.

I have matching statements with a friend that was witness to the whole night but does that count for anything?

Im sure this girl has either an abusive boyfriend or is mentally ill. I beyond sympathize with her if she is genuinely ill or scared in an abusive relationship but i'm not giving my life away because of it.

Does anyone have experience with this kind of consensual sex / claim rape situation. Is it really a he said / she said thing in court? I have heard it is always in favour of the women in these cases.

Thank you for existing guys.

[TBG1]

A sorry welcome to the site. If you've already been reading through the threads, you know that you will find many valuable pieces of advice that are based (sadly) on actual experience of similar circumstances - something that cannot be gotten by speaking with family, friends, legal teams etc., So your decision to post might just be a 'difference-maker' for you.


I can't offer any advice based on my experience by virtue of the fact that my situation is very different. However, I will give you my opinion based on what you've put so far.


If the quote from the lady in question are the actual words she used ("I don't want to get you hurt"), that suggests to me that she certainly might be in a relationship-why else would she think you might get "hurt" by waking up with her?


So to me, it would seem that she may be in an abusive relationship however, if that's true then would her partner not have tried to things out in "his own way"? It may be more likely that this is her (deranged) way of trying to demonstrate to him that she wasn't "unfaithful", absolving her of all responsibility.


Whatever the case, she appears (to me) to have swapped an uncomfortable relationship-ending confession for the total destruction of the life of somebody less well-known to her - the 'lesser of two evils' in her mind.


It's a sorry situation for you to be in. All you can do at this point (you haven't mentioned if you've been charged yet) is start gathering your evidence now - the statement that you mentioned from the witness, a timeline from the very start of the night detailing everything you did and everywhere you went. Try and remember who you might have seen along the way. If you were out in public (pubs, clubs) try going back to those places on the same night (stay sober) to see if you recognise any regulars that may have seen you (don't approach or talk to them....I'm just saying it's worth knowing just in case it becomes important down the line).


Finally, whatever information you gather - do not give it to the Police - they are not interested at this point, unless it supports guilt. Speak with your Legal Rep or Solicitor and provide the information to them - they will be best placed to see what's useful and what's not and to follow up on it if it ever becomes necessary.


Welcome again. Keep posting - it will help.

[False_uk]

A sorry welcome to the site. If you've already been reading through the threads, you know that you will find many valuable pieces of advice that are based (sadly) on actual experience of similar circumstances - something that cannot be gotten by speaking with family, friends, legal teams etc., So your decision to post might just be a 'difference-maker' for you.


I can't offer any advice based on my experience by virtue of the fact that my situation is very different. However, I will give you my opinion based on what you've put so far.


If the quote from the lady in question are the actual words she used ("I don't want to get you hurt"), that suggests to me that she certainly might be in a relationship-why else would she think you might get "hurt" by waking up with her?


So to me, it would seem that she may be in an abusive relationship however, if that's true then would her partner not have tried to things out in "his own way"? It may be more likely that this is her (deranged) way of trying to demonstrate to him that she wasn't "unfaithful", absolving her of all responsibility.


Whatever the case, she appears (to me) to have swapped an uncomfortable relationship-ending confession for the total destruction of the life of somebody less well-known to her - the 'lesser of two evils' in her mind.


It's a sorry situation for you to be in. All you can do at this point (you haven't mentioned if you've been charged yet) is start gathering your evidence now - the statement that you mentioned from the witness, a timeline from the very start of the night detailing everything you did and everywhere you went. Try and remember who you might have seen along the way. If you were out in public (pubs, clubs) try going back to those places on the same night (stay sober) to see if you recognise any regulars that may have seen you (don't approach or talk to them....I'm just saying it's worth knowing just in case it becomes important down the line).


Finally, whatever information you gather - do not give it to the Police - they are not interested at this point, unless it supports guilt. Speak with your Legal Rep or Solicitor and provide the information to them - they will be best placed to see what's useful and what's not and to follow up on it if it ever becomes necessary.


Welcome again. Keep posting - it will help.

Thanks for the reply so fast it means alot. I haven't been charged yet but im finding this site very helpful. I intend to start posting a lot in aide of other people when I get through the initial shock of whats happening.

I have quite a good memory so I alerted the police to any places that I was etc. But even though some cctv might show full consent im worried that means nothing when it comes to sex in private. I am just hoping that the police are aware of this girl and she has tried to do this before. And that a witness statement with my friend should be exactly the same and we did not contact eachother until arrest.

Anyway thanks again.

[Rights Fighter]

'I dont want to get you hurt'. Which was beyond confusing. She then said Ive left my number and ran off crying, before coming back and then running off again. This should be seen by neighbors. I was arrested a few days later.

I have matching statements with a friend that was witness to the whole night but does that count for anything?

Neighbours who saw a girl running around crying are more likely to be helpful to the prosecution.

The friend who was "witness to the whole night". Does this mean he was present during the alleged assault?

[bootandsuit]

Hi mate sorry to see youve found your way here. But welcome none the less

Seems we are in very similar boats your right at the start of a very very long road just be prepared dont beat yourself up 24/7 dont drink 24/7 just try to carry on there the mistakes ive made but have light at the end of the tunnell with my trial in 77 days and counting !!

As hard as it is excepr people will leave your life but the ones that stay cherish another mistake ive made.

Just wanted to say im living your nightmare with you and your not alone

[SalvationNeeded123]

In the exact same boat as you.

Don't go anywhere near alcohol or drugs of any kind.
Keep yourself fit and out and about, meet people, learn new things about life.
Help others who you might not of helped before.

Do what you can to feel good about yourself, because at the end of the you know deep down in your heart you're not a bad person, just caught up in a terrible situation.

The truth will out and justice will prevail, I'm sure of it and you can be sure of it too.

[joe_3178]

In the exact same boat as you.

Don't go anywhere near alcohol or drugs of any kind.
Keep yourself fit and out and about, meet people, learn new things about life.
Help others who you might not of helped before.

Do what you can to feel good about yourself, because at the end of the you know deep down in your heart you're not a bad person, just caught up in a terrible situation.

The truth will out and justice will prevail, I'm sure of it and you can be sure of it too.

Great advice.

For anyone in such a situation keeping fit and healthy will be a big help