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If its a report thats not being taken too seriously it can sit a few months (well ours did) but i think if they have been to the police and youve not been arrested or contacted straight away im guessing its a good sign. Hope for your sake its just empty threats. Big love. No one should have to keep going through this.
Sorry I forgot to ask earlier, did the police eventually get back to you? How did they make contact?
Sorry I forgot to ask earlier, did the police eventually get back to you? How did they make contact?
Sorry you're going through this!
What a living hell to not know any info and just jumping at shadows!
My OH was accused in October last year but was not questioned until February this year, so it was about 4 months.
Luckily tho we knew nothing about this particular issue until then.
I think however the allegation reached you it's still a kick in the teeth.
Hoping you'll get some resolution soon!
We know from experience that the waiting is a killer!
Hang in there!
Try and think of positive things and dwell on those.
Easier said than done I know, but there's good things happening, however small.
They are there!
Find them and make them big.
Big hugs
YoH
Last edited by YearsOfHell; 28 October 2015, 07:26 PM.
Sorry you're going through this!
What a living hell to not know any info and just jumping at shadows!
My OH was accused in October last year but was not questioned until February this year, so it was about 4 months.
Luckily tho we knew nothing about this particular issue until then.
I think however the allegation reached you it's still a kick in the teeth.
Hoping you'll get some resolution soon!
We know from experience that the waiting is a killer!
Hang in there!
Try and think of positive things and dwell on those.
Easier said than done I know, but there's good things happening, however small.
They are there!
Find them and make them big.
Big hugs
YoH
Many thanks YOH
The thing is, this is the 3rd time the police have been involved!!!
It's beyond a joke!!!!
I am trying to stay positive, and I'm joining a gym tonight!
I'm also thinking of speaking to my doc and maybe getting some medication for my ups and downs??
Like my solicitor said though, there isn't really a whole lot I can do until the police contact me!!
Which begs the question, what it they don't contact me??
Ah well we will see what happens??
Yes, join a gym, exercise produces endorphins, which are natural mood enhancers. No, don't start taking anti-depressants - 1) they'll make you feel awful for the first 2/3 weeks, 2) Once you're on them, it's hard to get off them.
Yes, join a gym, exercise produces endorphins, which are natural mood enhancers. No, don't start taking anti-depressants - 1) they'll make you feel awful for the first 2/3 weeks, 2) Once you're on them, it's hard to get off them.
P.S. try and stay off the booze - it's very tempting, but alcohol is a depressant, I find my mood is much worse if I've been tanking it...
Many thanks for all your kind words angstman!
Yeah I know what you're saying about Anti-Ds, but I really am up and down at the moment, so just thought they would help?
I also can't deny (and I'm ashamed of saying it) but suicide as crossed my mind!!
I don't think I would or could do it??
But it's not good and I sometimes just think if I wasn't here, there would be no more pain!
It upsets me typing that, as I've done nothing wrong!
However there is no point coming on here and not being honest I suppose!
I think maybe talking to someone might help, but don't trust anyone close enough (like friends) to discuss this with!!!!
Once again, many thanks for the advice and I think the gym will release some of my anxiety and stress
but suicide as crossed my mind!!
I don't think I would or could do it??
But it's not good and I sometimes just think if I wasn't here, there would be no more pain!
It upsets me typing that, as I've done nothing wrong!
Something I try to practice when I'm in a dark place is "Mindfulness". I often walk along the street replaying all sorts of **** in my head. I check myself and force my mind to concentrate on what is around me.
Where I live there is a quay and a couple of rivers so I will sometimes walk along there, and force myself to look, and then in my mind, feel what is going on there. Swans, geese, ducks..... walking from the quay there is the river where trees actually grow out from there, and there are ducks sitting on the branches that are in the river. I stop and take that in and make myself look at the feathers, the colours, the webbed feet and how cute that all is.
Walking over the railway bridge one day, when my thoughts were all over the place (several cases on the go) and I saw a fabulous deep turquoise coloured dragon fly in front of me, weaving it's way in between the traffic and in front of me. I had to make myself concentrate on that.
Mindfulness works but you have to work at it.
Last edited by Rights Fighter; 28 October 2015, 09:57 PM.
Something I try to practice when I'm in a dark place is "Mindfulness". I often walk along the street replaying all sorts of **** in my head. I check myself and force my mind to concentrate on what is around me.
Where I live there is a quay and a couple of rivers so I will sometimes walk along there, and force myself to look, and then in my mind, feel what is going on there. Swans, geese, ducks..... walking from the quay there is the river where trees actually grow out from there, and there are ducks sitting on the branches that are in the river. I stop and take that in and make myself look at the feathers, the colours, the webbed feet and how cute that all is.
Walking over the railway bridge one day, when my thoughts were all over the place (several cases on the go) and I saw a fabulous deep turquoise coloured dragon fly in front of my weaving it's way in between the traffic and in front of me. I had to make myself concentrate on that.
Mindfulness works but you have to work at it.
Wow that's some powerful stuff right there!
If I'm honest, I'm a little taken back by the help and advice I've had tonight!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!
I must admit I like a drink (although not a huge drinker) (but I do like a few each evening)
Saying that, since all this kicked off again, I've not touched it (apart from a cheeky Bailey's last Sat)
Something else I find is useful, is the peace and calm of an empty church. You may not be religious, but sometimes the cool, calm interior of my local catholic church is very soothing, say a little prayer, light a candle, someone might be listening, you never know...
Something else I find is useful, is the peace and calm of an empty church. You may not be religious, but sometimes the cool, calm interior of my local catholic church is very soothing, say a little prayer, light a candle, someone might be listening, you never know...
I would say I'm more a spiritual person, not religious!
But yes I like that idea...
Yes that too. Because the quiet of an empty church can help you draw yourself into the "real" - again - mindfulness.
You can become mindful of the peace and quiet. Looking around a quiet church will hopefully draw your thoughts away from the present, and if there is history in that church too, you can "remove" yourself from what is happening - even if just for a short while, and you will benefit from it.
If you can walk in the countryside, sound trite I know, but practising mindfulness in nature, will hopefully stop your mind working overtime.
You have to try to concentrate though and if this is difficult, tell yourself that this is medication.
Because that is what it is. Medication for the mind.
I would say I'm more a spiritual person, not religious!
But yes I like that idea...
Definitely no bikes for me though
You don't have to be religious to benefit from the quietness of a church. It is the silence and the removal of all things stressful that is beneficial to you, there.
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