Any advice welcome

[Aidy]

Hello, not been on here for a good few years now!
Basically I was accused by my niece (around 13 years ago) of abusing her!!!
I was basically just about to get married and it was the last thing we needed!
Ok so no action was taken at the time, and then at a music gig maybe 5 or 6 years later, I bumped into her (I was with my wife) (and she was with my sister) and she basically came over begging me for forgiveness etc etc
Anyway I never did forgive her, but kind of got on with life..
That was up until 2.5 years ago...the police came knocking on her door (revisiting the case)...and rather than tell the truth, she carried it on!!

I ended up going to the police with a solicitor (who Chris Saltresse recommended) (and might I say he is a gentleman and a scholar!!!)..
Basically she didn't want to take it anywhere, and I wasn't even put under caution (much to the amazement of my solicitor!)
I did have to give a brief statement, however the police officer even said in so many words that her statements were contradictory at best!
Her last words were to me were go and enjoy the rest of your life, and even if she ever did come back, it is unlikely it will go any further!!!
I also got a letter from them stating this!!

Obviously I had no contact with my niece from this moment on!

Last Friday I had a voice message of my bro in law saying my niece had told her 3 brothers (my nephews) what had happened whilst pissed up!
He said they were gonna kill or do me in etc

I got told the next day that they had calmed down and that they were not coming after me etc

Then yesterday, bro in law phoned again to say she had made a formal complaint to the police about me!!

Talk about a kick in the stomach!!!

Got straight back in touch with my solicitor, who said they couldn't really do anything until the police wanted to speak to me (or arrest me?)

Just in a daze at the moment!!
Trying (and succeeding) to stay focuses and positive, but I'm not sure how
Long that will last if I'm honest!!!


Any advice on this would be great!
Sorry for such a long story, but it is what it is!

[Casehardened]

Hi,

I've just looked back at your old thread and a lot of the advice you received then is still relevant:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...gations-please

It's probably just a case of her thinking 'third time lucky'; of course the police will have the records and outcome of the previous two allegations so they will be approaching this one with the benefit of hindsight!

In the current climate they will still have to go through the process so don't be surprised to be eventually invited in for a 'chat'.

Of course brother in law may be just winding you up.......

[Aidy]

Hi,

I've just looked back at your old thread and a lot of the advice you received then is still relevant:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...gations-please

It's probably just a case of her thinking 'third time lucky'; of course the police will have the records and outcome of the previous two allegations so they will be approaching this one with the benefit of hindsight!

In the current climate they will still have to go through the process so don't be surprised to be eventually invited in for a 'chat'.

Of course brother in law may be just winding you up.......

Many thanks for the reply!
And also thanks for finding my old thread.
Sadly my brother in law isn't that kind of person, and it is happening all right!

Anyway had a fairly decent nights sleep, although wake up with this **** again!
Just have to play the old waiting game now, and see what the police do next?

[edinguy]

What a strange and utterly demoralising situation. Your mind will be all over the place and so will your emotions, it’s good you are staying focused though as it’s 10 times worse to let this get on top of you too much.

I’d like to think after two attempts by her already that this third one is very unlikely to amount to anything since they didn’t take action beforehand. They say they only charge when it’s a 51% chance of conviction. I can’t see how that could be the case when she’s cried wolf twice and they seemed to see through her.

Of course that won’t make you feel better until you know 100% what the situation is and unfortunately only the police/CPS can give you that sort of peace of mind. Stay positive for now as you have the knowledge this has fallen to bit’s twice before, I pray for a speedy result for you and that you can leave this behind you for good! No one deserves to be tortured like this.

[Aidy]

What a strange and utterly demoralising situation. Your mind will be all over the place and so will your emotions, it’s good you are staying focused though as it’s 10 times worse to let this get on top of you too much.

I’d like to think after two attempts by her already that this third one is very unlikely to amount to anything since they didn’t take action beforehand. They say they only charge when it’s a 51% chance of conviction. I can’t see how that could be the case when she’s cried wolf twice and they seemed to see through her.

Of course that won’t make you feel better until you know 100% what the situation is and unfortunately only the police/CPS can give you that sort of peace of mind. Stay positive for now as you have the knowledge this has fallen to bit’s twice before, I pray for a speedy result for you and that you can leave this behind you for good! No one deserves to be tortured like this.

Thank you so much for the reply!
Yes this is kind of my thoughts also (that after all the nonsense beforehand) they will just take no further action!
Still up and down really..
One minute I'm convinced it will all be ok, the next minute I'm thinking all sorts about my kids and social services etc
Once again thanks and anymore advice will be welcome!

**
spoke to my brother earlier and he's not heard anything, however he seems to think my sister is now not talking to her (her own daughter)
I also forgot to mention that since all this as come out (this week), my neice as claimed her mum and dad wanted to kick her out when she was a small child as they didn't love her!!
Again utter lies...so I'm wondering if my sister isn't talking to her for this reason??

[TBG1]

Sorry that you've found yourself here Aidy , but welcome (again!).


Yours is a story that should never see the light of day. Three times this person has accused you, failing on the first two!?


But nothing surprises me anymore. I just have to wonder, at what point are the police empowered to be able to say, "Sorry love, we've already investigated once and found no evidence. Revisited it and again, closed it off without finding evidence. We're not going to waste any more time on this"???


I get that police have to investigate allegations - true or false - but when will they grow a set of you-know-what and just shut the door in the face someone who is quite clearly lying and wasting police time!?


If there is any "normality" to things Aidy, I would say that you have "jumped the gun" and will quite likely hear nothing from the Police this time. Sadly, you are doing the right thing though in preparing for such contact.


The only advice I can think of giving you is that if you are asked back for an interview, you must discuss at length with your Legal Representative how you are going to approach the interview.


The reason I say this is that (as I understand it) since you have already been interviewed on this matter (albeit several years ago), you have already given answers to the Police's questions and therefore if they ask a question that you have already answered, you should not answer it again. This is the "normal" advice when people are asked for a 2nd interview and although in your case the "2nd interview" is (unusually) many years after the first one, I would still wager that the same rule of thumb applies.


Perhaps someone else can weigh in on that subject and reinforce or correct my advice?


Best Wishes To You.

TBG1

[Rights Fighter]

Hopefully the police will get fed up with this and try to prosecute her for wasting police time.

[Aidy]

Hopefully the police will get fed up with this and try to prosecute her for wasting police time.

Many thanks (and also TBG1) for the advice!
Once again, this is kind of the route I'm hoping it will go!
Sadly until I actually here such news, I am just expecting the worst!
It's amazing how complex this situation is, with the possibility (if it already hasn't) of tearing my family apart!!!!!
This saddens me...however I am in survival mode at the minute and I am ready to go in to battle (if you will excuse the terminology lol)
At this precise moment, my family (ie my wife and kids) are my focus!

Thanks once again for all the amazing advice and support....
I love you all x

[Stayingstrong]

Hi Aidy

I am so sorry to read your thread, and just cannot believe the thinking behind the police in wasting so much time. Like others have said, where is the common sense in spotting a serial liar? When is society going to change and realise all the damage that is being done.

I cannot advise, but I can offer support. Stay strong, be prepared and fingers crossed for you

Take care

[Aidy]

Hi Aidy

I am so sorry to read your thread, and just cannot believe the thinking behind the police in wasting so much time. Like others have said, where is the common sense in spotting a serial liar? When is society going to change and realise all the damage that is being done.

I cannot advise, but I can offer support. Stay strong, be prepared and fingers crossed for you

Take care

Thank you!
I'm kind of thinking the police will want to speak to me, but I'm hoping (although not expecting) that they will stand by their word after the last time!
They said even if she came back in the future, it would not go anywhere!
The solicitor has this on record, so fingers crossed!

[Aidy]

Thank you!
I'm kind of thinking the police will want to speak to me, but I'm hoping (although not expecting) that they will stand by their word after the last time!
They said even if she came back in the future, it would not go anywhere!
The solicitor has this on record, so fingers crossed!

Not had a good day today!
Still heard nothing, however I'm thinking all sorts about what could happen this week??!
Been very anxious and I'm really tired..
Will post any more info soon

[Stayingstrong]

Hard as it is, try and keep as busy and as focused as you can. The waiting is the hardest part, and it's such a cruel position for you to be in.

[Aidy]

Morning all..
Not having a good morning if I'm honest!
Little girls first day at nursery, and I'm an emotional wreck if I'm honest..
Still heard nothing??
How long does everyone think it would take for the police to contact me (that's if they are doing?)
Just in limbo at the minute!

On a more positive note, I am joining the gym this week, and I'm sure that will help my mood!
Also back in work tomorrow, which I don't really want to do...but I suppose it will take my mind off it!

Many thanks for all the support so far guys x

[Lilyput]

If its a report thats not being taken too seriously it can sit a few months (well ours did) but i think if they have been to the police and youve not been arrested or contacted straight away im guessing its a good sign. Hope for your sake its just empty threats. Big love. No one should have to keep going through this.

[Aidy]

If its a report thats not being taken too seriously it can sit a few months (well ours did) but i think if they have been to the police and youve not been arrested or contacted straight away im guessing its a good sign. Hope for your sake its just empty threats. Big love. No one should have to keep going through this.

Thank you for you kind words Lilyput!
It's just a horrible postition (as you well know!!) to be in!!
Big love back x