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First time posting here so bear with me, I have just become aware of the forum and I'm desperate for some help.
In April this year I was at my ex girlfriends house having a drink, she had a friend their. Me and my ex had been over for a while, we live close by and she asked me to come round as I had no plans. I worked with my ex in the same office, this is where we met. Our relationship was one of ups and downs we was together for around a year, in the end we just wasn't right for each other. She struggled with a cocaine addiction and myself with drink. Ultimatley it all became too much and we decided to split. I was devastated and depressed.
The night I went for a drink I had two cans of beer at home before I went round, my ex asked me if I had any drink and if I could bring it round. I said yes of course, I arrived at the house with a 3rd of bottle of vodka, 2 cans of beer and a bottle of wine. I knew her friend would be there, she had already told me this when we was texting, upon entering the property I noticed that my exes kids (3 of them) and her friends child (just 1 child) were present.
We sat in the kitchen had a drink and just talked, my exes friend then pulled what I thought was cocaine out of her bra, turns out it was something called mkat? plant fertiliser apparently. My ex and her friend, began to take the substance it was still early about 9-10ish I believe, my ex kept asking me to try it, I did regretfully.
While we sat down and talking I noticed it was getting late, my ex was asking her friend how she was getting home with her child, her friend said she had no money and couldn't get home. I was confused as she could afford to buy drink and drugs but couldn't save taxi money to get home. I said I could transfer a tenner to my ex and she could give it to her friend to get home if she wanted. My ex said not possible, as she was overdrawn.
As the night progressed, we had a couple more drinks, her friend was constantly snorting this drug, my ex had said in the past she was an addict and had her kids taken off of her numerous times because of drugs and neglecting the kids. I felt so sorry for her child, I have two girls myself and I thought why is she got her kid out at this time taking drugs and getting drunk.
It got late past midnight, myself and my ex had an argument nothing major I just made a comment about her on her phone texting someone. I was struggling to accept we was over and I knew she was seeing someone but wouldn't tell me and let me go. I felt she was keeping me at arms distance just because it was convenient.
After we argued I left and thought Im going home, I literally lived within a stone throw distance of her house. Her friend had a taxi outside ready to go home, but the taxi drove off probably because she had no means to even pay for it.
She followed me to my house, I have no idea why. Her child fell asleep, we was in the kitchen had the radio on low volume, she was grinding up against me and being very flirtatious.
I went to bed as it was about 1:30am at this time, she was on the toilet and decided to get into bed as well. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex.
We stopped as her child woke up crying, probably scared as she was in a strange house. Her mum didn't seem to care about anything. She went to check on her child downstairs, then come back upstairs asking if she could take my bank card and what my pin number was. I told her to take enough for a taxi and post my bank card back through my letterbox.
I then fell asleep and she left. The next morning, I couldn't find my bank card, my phone was also missing. I checked my bank online and there was two separate withdrawels, £150 and £50 one at 2:45am , another at 3:15am (closer to her home). I found out that after she had left mine she went back to my exes to order a taxi and go home.
The next morning after I checked my bank and cancelled my phone, I emailed my ex. She replied saying that her friend had text her in the morning saying I raped her. Yet she didn't say that she had been raped immediately after leaving my house. My ex said I pushed her onto the bed and raped her, she said she screamed which woke her child got her child and left my house.
I was disgusted by these accusations, I let a woman into my home to try and help her and her child. She robbed me blind, then accused me of rape.
Two days after I contacted the police, they came for me and I was held for questioning. At the first interview my solicitor said to give no comment as they had not received any statement from her.
I was released on bail for 3 months, at which point back I went back for questioning again. I gave my full side of the events, she had lied and said she took my bank card because she didn't know my name, she also said she had never met me before. Both incorrect which my ex can confirm. But I don't know if my ex has been questioned or what she has said I feel so in the dark about all this.
I was bailed again until 15th Oct. 6 months out of my life, I have lost my job, become a recluse. Spending most days in bed depressed, I haven't slept properly since. I have no money and a solicitor which I will have to use legal aid for which worries me.
I have heard from gossip in my local village that I'm to be charged and sent to court. I guess this will be confirmed tomorrow. I haven't heard anything from my solicitor in six months, they just keep saying this is the process and they will find out a day before my bail.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose my kids and go to prison for 5-10 years. I feel that she has gone so far down this lie now that she will feel she cant get out of it.
I have so many questions and in desperate need of help;
When can I expect to be in court if I have to ?
Do I need to get a private solicitor?
Im sure there are many more but at the moment im in a bit of a rush and I will update this post later. Any advice you can give would be appreciated. I feel like giving up, if it wasn't for my children Im sure I would have by now
Thanks
In April this year I was at my ex girlfriends house having a drink, she had a friend their. Me and my ex had been over for a while, we live close by and she asked me to come round as I had no plans. I worked with my ex in the same office, this is where we met. Our relationship was one of ups and downs we was together for around a year, in the end we just wasn't right for each other. She struggled with a cocaine addiction and myself with drink. Ultimatley it all became too much and we decided to split. I was devastated and depressed.
The night I went for a drink I had two cans of beer at home before I went round, my ex asked me if I had any drink and if I could bring it round. I said yes of course, I arrived at the house with a 3rd of bottle of vodka, 2 cans of beer and a bottle of wine. I knew her friend would be there, she had already told me this when we was texting, upon entering the property I noticed that my exes kids (3 of them) and her friends child (just 1 child) were present.
We sat in the kitchen had a drink and just talked, my exes friend then pulled what I thought was cocaine out of her bra, turns out it was something called mkat? plant fertiliser apparently. My ex and her friend, began to take the substance it was still early about 9-10ish I believe, my ex kept asking me to try it, I did regretfully.
While we sat down and talking I noticed it was getting late, my ex was asking her friend how she was getting home with her child, her friend said she had no money and couldn't get home. I was confused as she could afford to buy drink and drugs but couldn't save taxi money to get home. I said I could transfer a tenner to my ex and she could give it to her friend to get home if she wanted. My ex said not possible, as she was overdrawn.
As the night progressed, we had a couple more drinks, her friend was constantly snorting this drug, my ex had said in the past she was an addict and had her kids taken off of her numerous times because of drugs and neglecting the kids. I felt so sorry for her child, I have two girls myself and I thought why is she got her kid out at this time taking drugs and getting drunk.
It got late past midnight, myself and my ex had an argument nothing major I just made a comment about her on her phone texting someone. I was struggling to accept we was over and I knew she was seeing someone but wouldn't tell me and let me go. I felt she was keeping me at arms distance just because it was convenient.
After we argued I left and thought Im going home, I literally lived within a stone throw distance of her house. Her friend had a taxi outside ready to go home, but the taxi drove off probably because she had no means to even pay for it.
She followed me to my house, I have no idea why. Her child fell asleep, we was in the kitchen had the radio on low volume, she was grinding up against me and being very flirtatious.
I went to bed as it was about 1:30am at this time, she was on the toilet and decided to get into bed as well. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex.
We stopped as her child woke up crying, probably scared as she was in a strange house. Her mum didn't seem to care about anything. She went to check on her child downstairs, then come back upstairs asking if she could take my bank card and what my pin number was. I told her to take enough for a taxi and post my bank card back through my letterbox.
I then fell asleep and she left. The next morning, I couldn't find my bank card, my phone was also missing. I checked my bank online and there was two separate withdrawels, £150 and £50 one at 2:45am , another at 3:15am (closer to her home). I found out that after she had left mine she went back to my exes to order a taxi and go home.
The next morning after I checked my bank and cancelled my phone, I emailed my ex. She replied saying that her friend had text her in the morning saying I raped her. Yet she didn't say that she had been raped immediately after leaving my house. My ex said I pushed her onto the bed and raped her, she said she screamed which woke her child got her child and left my house.
I was disgusted by these accusations, I let a woman into my home to try and help her and her child. She robbed me blind, then accused me of rape.
Two days after I contacted the police, they came for me and I was held for questioning. At the first interview my solicitor said to give no comment as they had not received any statement from her.
I was released on bail for 3 months, at which point back I went back for questioning again. I gave my full side of the events, she had lied and said she took my bank card because she didn't know my name, she also said she had never met me before. Both incorrect which my ex can confirm. But I don't know if my ex has been questioned or what she has said I feel so in the dark about all this.
I was bailed again until 15th Oct. 6 months out of my life, I have lost my job, become a recluse. Spending most days in bed depressed, I haven't slept properly since. I have no money and a solicitor which I will have to use legal aid for which worries me.
I have heard from gossip in my local village that I'm to be charged and sent to court. I guess this will be confirmed tomorrow. I haven't heard anything from my solicitor in six months, they just keep saying this is the process and they will find out a day before my bail.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose my kids and go to prison for 5-10 years. I feel that she has gone so far down this lie now that she will feel she cant get out of it.
I have so many questions and in desperate need of help;
When can I expect to be in court if I have to ?
Do I need to get a private solicitor?
Im sure there are many more but at the moment im in a bit of a rush and I will update this post later. Any advice you can give would be appreciated. I feel like giving up, if it wasn't for my children Im sure I would have by now
Thanks
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