Never thought this would happen

[Arsenal12]

In my opinion.... (And please don't be obliged to agree.....)

I think you should totally forget about this hideous individual.... She has clearly put you through hell

You have been NFAD so no action will be taken against you.......start your new life now

As for the rest in regards to the visa nonsense.... And orders let her do as she pleases......

You should count your self very lucky that you do not have any children with her or joint assets....

Divorce her if you haven't already.... And good riddens.....

Move on with your life......

We all only have one life.....

Sorry for sounding blunt......but I think you should totally forget her....and move on

Regards
A12

[TotalNightmare]

Hey Arsenal,

Indeed I am grateful for being NFA'd, but unfortunately I feel this process goes beyond the NFA. At first I thought NFA would be the end of it all but the stress and turmoil still haunts for some time after.

Trust me, I haven't even given the situation much thought lately though, and was recovering until today. Then I read her Witness Testimony for the ex-parte in the Royal Mail sorting office car park, and it all came tumbling back down. Especially being accused of threatening murder and wielding weapons at her! Hence the frantic confused posting.

At any rate, I've got an appointment with a family solicitor on Friday to advise me what implications this has on divorce proceedings and the like.

After reading more it seems like non-molestation orders do not really affect you much unless you have kids or joint property, but still reading what she has said about me in front of a judge is nothing but sickening.

Going to leave the UK again next week and be out of the country at Christmas and then try to move on.

[TotalNightmare]

Quick update, talked to solicitor and then phoned the court. Turns out they forgot to include the actual order notice or hearing notice in the envelope

Have to go to court in mid-January and argue the toss. Game plan is essentially no admission of guilt, explanation of her motives for fabricating her witness statement and then proposing a voluntary undertaking to the judge and washing my hands of it.

Anyone else waiting to be NFA'd for rape I wish you the best of luck!

[TotalNightmare]

This is to anyone with a foreign spouse on visas that accuses them of false rape or abuse and goes down the DV route.

I never knew this until today but:

Despite the Home Office telling you that you are now a third party to their immigration matters, you have 3 months from the accusation to act while the Home Office considers their application for Domestic Violence Visa Concession. They will base their assessment purely on the submission of the applicant, unless you counter-claim.

They keep the ability to counter-claim very quiet, but you can submit a counter-claim to:

DV Duty Officer
Dept 81
UKBA
PO Box 306
LIVERPOOL
L2 0QN

Also useful to simultaneously submit a report of immigration crime online at Gov.uk.

"The Inspection of Settlement Report is vital for you to get your head around. The Home Office has basically been found guilty in the maladministration of these cases because they are not verifying information with the Police but relying on the refuges reports which are based only on what was said to them by the applicant. This point to the fact that if you can get the Police onside to write a report you can present it yourself to the Home Office. (Basically the Home Office have been abdicating responsibility to the Refuges for proving probability of the offence)."

If you have not been charged or tried for domestic abuse or violence, or you have had charges quashed, and they then base their assessment of evidence purely on unverified documentation from support agencies like a woman's refuge and find in favour of the applicant, then you can complain to the Parliamentary Ombudsman for libel and may be liable for compensation.

It is essentially a public office labelling you as violent and committing abuse without a trial, proof of guilt or even considering your side of the situation, albeit on the balance of probability rather than beyond reasonable doubt.

[Rights Fighter]

This is really helpful so thanks for posting it.

Do you have a link to this please?

Many thanks

[TotalNightmare]

This is really helpful so thanks for posting it.

Do you have a link to this please?

Many thanks

I picked up most of this from the forums at www.immigrationmarriagefrauduk.com (hope it is ok to link over).

They even have a "pack" for people facing either a DV trial or trial for an order initiated by foreign spouses to produce to the judge to highlight to them how common this loophole is used to obtain permanent residency.

Posting my counter-claim to the Home Office tomorrow, and at court I am going to try to negotiate with the judge that if I take an undertaking, I want her to also take an undertaking not to contact me due to emotional and psychological stress of dragging me through this, as well as feeling like my entire life can be upturned on her whim again with another false accusation.

Then her undertaking will be sent off to the Home Office which dilutes her allegations as being genuine .

I'm prepared to battle against this, even though she has Legal Aid funded immigration solicitors in her corner.

[Rights Fighter]

Thanks for that

[TotalNightmare]

Hello all, happy new year! Hope you're all well.

I just got back to the UK recently and thought I'd update. I posted my counter-claim to the HO and heard no response - which is likely anyway.

However, whilst away I met a mutual friend of the ex and she confided in me that ex had been seeing another man for some time and had told her about it. She sympathised with my situation and is sending across logs of chats and texts between her and my ex confirming this.

Ex does not know I know this, so my court appearance in 2 weeks should be rather fun when I drop this on her LA solicitors and the judge

Hopefully this combined with other evidence should be enough to get the Non-Mol Order dismissed.

[Shah]

Good luck then! let us know how it goes

[hello88]

oh wow, happy new year to you to.... always great to start the new year of with a lovely bit of helpful evidence

hope works out for you, keep us updated h xx

[TotalNightmare]

Thanks guys.

Going to post my counter-evidence to her sols on Wednesday. The court date is Tuesday next week. Might as well leave it late and be cheeky so they are tight in coming up with anything.

The drama unfolds though - my friend that confided in me of my soon-to-be-ex wife's affair has told me that the wife has contacted her today, and said that by her being in contact with me that I will be sent down for 5 years for breaching my ex-parte Non-Mol order.

This is despite my friend not being party to the order and not even living, or having ever set foot in, the jurisdiction of England & Wales

I think she might be pooping it a bit!

Once this is over I am going to start contributing more to other threads, but using this place as a sort of rape accusation blog is highly therapeutic since I don't have many others to talk to about this.

[TotalNightmare]

Hey guys, was in court today.

The judge had not read any evidence I submitted, nor had ex been served with it.

I asked about an undertaking and judge said due to seriousness of accusations (rape), that he would not be willing to do this and would prefer a trial. No one has looked at anything I submitted whatsoever.

So my choices were accept the non-mol or go for a trial. I went for trial option which may be silly and make me incur extra stress but today wasn't too bad. Represented myself, dominated the hearing. 90% of talk was between me and judge. Me and judge even laughed about a joke mid-hearing. She had a McKenzie friend in there - legally qualified advisor from a support agency I think. She said maybe 3 words the entire time. McKenzie friend wrote down everything I said.

I mentioned about ex messaging mutual friend and trying to block her giving evidence, and clarified with judge about this breaching order and he said it does not. She started bubbling at this point.

Overall ok day, I refuse to back down or acknowledge these allegations.

[TotalNightmare]

Hey guys, long time no post.

Just an update on this case.

I am mentally and physically exhausted - just had a day long trial at the family court where I represented myself. FA was surrounded by sexual violence counsellors and various other hangers on.

I was allowed to cross-examine FA on her accusations - something which I wish I had prepared more for but feel content with the outcome.

The judge even stopped the hearing and explained that in a marriage "reluctant consent" is still consent, and asked her numerous times if she understood the difference between rape and reluctant consent - the latter definitely NOT being rape. He tried to nail her down for dates of specific examples but her responses were that she was too traumatised to remember specific dates.

She said she had a recording of me admitting I had raped her on her phone - when asked to produce this she said she could not. When asked why this was not submitted as evidence to the police, she told the court that the police had told her the evidence was inadmissible. My guess is the recording was a total fabrication.

The Home Office has already issued her with Indefinite Leave to Remain in January, which was before I even had a chance to submit any counter-evidence.

Result of the hearing was that I successfully contested the non-molestation order and had it quashed. The judge stopped proceedings after I had grilled her enough on false rape accusations and then turned said both parties can take undertakings with no admission of guilt if they consented. I went for this, and so did she.

Despite the fact she has ultimately managed to blag herself British citizenship, at least I tried and never once backed down. During cross-examination I asked on what basis she had been granted ILR, and as I suspected, evidence submitted to the Home Office were regurgitations of her false allegations through various support agencies.

I asked the judge if a transcript of the hearing could be made available so I could send it to my Chief Constable because there are discrepancies between what she has said in court under oath, and what she told police (dates, more fictitious rape allegations occurring at random periods not before mentioned etc.). We had a bit of to-and-fro whether this would be necessary, because he was arguing under the eyes of the law I am an innocent man, and I was emphasising the fact this arrest still appears on my police certificate and would like something to substantiate my letter to my Constabulary in order to apply for it to be deleted.


Either way - 6 months on after my arrest, and here we are. Divorce is pending. I have a new partner and things are getting better.

Hope you are all well.

[Franticwithworry]

Congratulations. You have done yourself proud. Very best wishes to you and your new partner for a sparkling future.

Just one question - did the judge agree to you having a transcript in the end?

[TotalNightmare]

Congratulations. You have done yourself proud. Very best wishes to you and your new partner for a sparkling future.

Just one question - did the judge agree to you having a transcript in the end?

He said if I wanted it I had to apply for it in writing and the application would go before a judge (possibly him) and it would be judged whether it was necessary to be released.

He stated that in the eyes of the police and the law I have not committed any crimes - but in reality I am employed in government. The arrest alone would be enough to ruin me if it cropped up on any advanced vetting for sensitive posts. He said I would have to pay for the transcript. My DNA and fingerprints have already been deleted from PNC, so getting this deleted would give me final peace of mind.

I am not sure if the judge appreciated the devastation false allegations can cause even if no convictions arise.

I suppose I will set it out in a letter and try for it anyway.

I actually felt rather sad during the whole thing. Seeing what used to be my wife up in the dock stumbling over her words when answering my questions was painful, but I have to defend myself. I think she has actually convinced herself, with the help of the social workers surrounding her, that she really was a "victim" of domestic abuse. Sad that a whole chapter of my life has been destroyed forever and all our happy memories are now blackened by this.

I was tempted to make a closing speech and say that I hope she remembers the good times we had and gets over her issues, but I refrained. Probably for the best.

That will be the last time in my life I will ever see her, so book closed on that chapter.