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Please help me, I'm at my wits end
Hi All, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, but I am absolutely at my wits end and close to breaking point.
Two years ago, I met a girl on a dating site for over 18's. We saw each other for a few weeks, but didn't have sex. Then I went on holiday and whilst on the phone to her, there were certain inconsistencies in things she was saying. I asked her to be honest how old she was, and she said she was 15, and would be 16 the following week. At the time, I was 42. I felt sick and angry.
Upon my return home, she came over on her 16th birthday (she honestly did look about 19-20). She apologised, I let myself be led on, foolishly, and we did have sex.
About a week later she disappeared. It transpired that she ran away to Scotland, allegedly to be with a female cousin, but I found out a long while later she had gone up there to be with a guy, and had him done for sexual offences.
In March of last year (2014), I received a call from the Police. As a result of investigations, they wanted to interview me, due to material on her phone (unsure what). They interviewed me under caution, I explained the situation, and was released without charge. They said there had been no allegations. This January I received a letter from them saying that the investigation was closed but on file.
Then I started receiving calls and texts from the girl whom was now living in a care home in Wales. She said she was coming back to my town.
She returned to my town, and I began seeing her, I wanted answers and closure. This alienated me form family members, but I wanted to know why she had lied. We struck up a kind of relationship, but she then revealed her true side. She is controlling, a heavy drug, weed and alcohol user, no intention of finding a job etc.
I kind of kept up a 'mock relationship' because I felt that she was a little unbalanced and wasn't sure how she'd react to rejection. Her family life is messed up, her family don't want to know her.
This week, I summoned up the courage to tell her it's over. She went absolutely nuts. She sat in my house, refused to leave, and called the police saying she had relationship issues. She was aggressive and threatening, and even said she would stab me. I managed to placate her and got her out of the house.
Last night (Friday 2nd October), I told her it's over. I had just picked up my 8yo son from school. Next thing, she's outside my house, telling me I have made the worst decision of my life, and was I sure I had made the right decision. She kept messing with her phone, smiling, and saying she would call the police and tell them everything (despite her telling them nothing had happened before she 16 previously). She told me she would injure me, and make it look like self defence. She was smelling strongly of weed and alcohol, and kept on how she was in control, and I was scared of her because she could ruin my life.
She was smiling all the time - even when she phoned friends to tell them she was crying, she was smiling / smirking. She then said 'oh, and I'm pregnant with your child' (which I don't believe, when she was in care she must have told me 3 times that she had been raped and was pregnant). She kept on how I had to 'make the right decision'. I told her, my 8yo son doesn't like her, but that wasn't enough, she said she hated him, and that I had to choose between him or her, and if I chose him, she will have me put in prison and he will lose me.
She also stated 'this is what happened with gordon, and I had him sent down', so she has obviously done this before.
I have managed to placate her for the minute (she things we're back together), but I can't go on like this.
I know, I should have seen the warning signs early on and made a break for it, but something inside me liked the nice part of her (she could be really caring and loving when she wanted to), but she is totally crazy. If I break up with her, she said she will get her mates to 'make up sh!t and she will go along with it'.
I am going to try and seek legal advice this week, I want he rto think everythings ok whilst I prepare my battle plan, but I know I will lose and end up losing everything.
What should I do? Short of hanging myself?
Thanks for your patience,
Desperate.
Two years ago, I met a girl on a dating site for over 18's. We saw each other for a few weeks, but didn't have sex. Then I went on holiday and whilst on the phone to her, there were certain inconsistencies in things she was saying. I asked her to be honest how old she was, and she said she was 15, and would be 16 the following week. At the time, I was 42. I felt sick and angry.
Upon my return home, she came over on her 16th birthday (she honestly did look about 19-20). She apologised, I let myself be led on, foolishly, and we did have sex.
About a week later she disappeared. It transpired that she ran away to Scotland, allegedly to be with a female cousin, but I found out a long while later she had gone up there to be with a guy, and had him done for sexual offences.
In March of last year (2014), I received a call from the Police. As a result of investigations, they wanted to interview me, due to material on her phone (unsure what). They interviewed me under caution, I explained the situation, and was released without charge. They said there had been no allegations. This January I received a letter from them saying that the investigation was closed but on file.
Then I started receiving calls and texts from the girl whom was now living in a care home in Wales. She said she was coming back to my town.
She returned to my town, and I began seeing her, I wanted answers and closure. This alienated me form family members, but I wanted to know why she had lied. We struck up a kind of relationship, but she then revealed her true side. She is controlling, a heavy drug, weed and alcohol user, no intention of finding a job etc.
I kind of kept up a 'mock relationship' because I felt that she was a little unbalanced and wasn't sure how she'd react to rejection. Her family life is messed up, her family don't want to know her.
This week, I summoned up the courage to tell her it's over. She went absolutely nuts. She sat in my house, refused to leave, and called the police saying she had relationship issues. She was aggressive and threatening, and even said she would stab me. I managed to placate her and got her out of the house.
Last night (Friday 2nd October), I told her it's over. I had just picked up my 8yo son from school. Next thing, she's outside my house, telling me I have made the worst decision of my life, and was I sure I had made the right decision. She kept messing with her phone, smiling, and saying she would call the police and tell them everything (despite her telling them nothing had happened before she 16 previously). She told me she would injure me, and make it look like self defence. She was smelling strongly of weed and alcohol, and kept on how she was in control, and I was scared of her because she could ruin my life.
She was smiling all the time - even when she phoned friends to tell them she was crying, she was smiling / smirking. She then said 'oh, and I'm pregnant with your child' (which I don't believe, when she was in care she must have told me 3 times that she had been raped and was pregnant). She kept on how I had to 'make the right decision'. I told her, my 8yo son doesn't like her, but that wasn't enough, she said she hated him, and that I had to choose between him or her, and if I chose him, she will have me put in prison and he will lose me.
She also stated 'this is what happened with gordon, and I had him sent down', so she has obviously done this before.
I have managed to placate her for the minute (she things we're back together), but I can't go on like this.
I know, I should have seen the warning signs early on and made a break for it, but something inside me liked the nice part of her (she could be really caring and loving when she wanted to), but she is totally crazy. If I break up with her, she said she will get her mates to 'make up sh!t and she will go along with it'.
I am going to try and seek legal advice this week, I want he rto think everythings ok whilst I prepare my battle plan, but I know I will lose and end up losing everything.
What should I do? Short of hanging myself?
Thanks for your patience,
Desperate.
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