talk therapy

[thisisinsane]

Hi everyone

I have been absent for a couple of months and took some time to recover. Most of the people posting lately i dont know and it makes me angry how many new members we have had in this short time. Me and my partner have been through it too (historic rape accusations) and have taken the long way from charge to trial.

I know that if i hadnt had another member, frightened spouse to talk to i and we surely wouldn't have made it . Talking to her kept me from going insane and even suicide. I somehow owe her my life.

I stayed away from tge forum for a while because i thought there's nothing i could offer anyway but maybe someone here feels lost, or is left alone and needs someone to talk. As i said i cant offer much but i can do this: listen.

[edinguy]

I often come back to have a read at people's stories and it breaks my heart knowing there's so many who will have to go through what I went through. I'm glad they have found this place though because it's a life saver and it's somewhere to talk about a subject that we can't talk about freely in our own lives because of various factors.

So many posters helped me during my long 2 year struggle like Kermit, RF and many others and I will never be able to thank everyone enough. I'd advise people looking in who are scared, confused and in a dark place to talk to someone on here be it on the threads or PM's as it really does make a difference.

I don't have much to offer other than my experience and thoughts but if I can get through it then so can you, keep your loved ones close and don't let it bottle up inside you. Talking really is a big help.

[joe_3178]

I often come back to have a read at people's stories and it breaks my heart knowing there's so many who will have to go through what I went through. I'm glad they have found this place though because it's a life saver and it's somewhere to talk about a subject that we can't talk about freely in our own lives because of various factors.

So many posters helped me during my long 2 year struggle like Kermit, RF and many others and I will never be able to thank everyone enough. I'd advise people looking in who are scared, confused and in a dark place to talk to someone on here be it on the threads or PM's as it really does make a difference.

I don't have much to offer other than my experience and thoughts but if I can get through it then so can you, keep your loved ones close and don't let it bottle up inside you. Talking really is a big help.

For me as well, this forum provided much needed support when in the darkest place. A place I never expected I would ever encounter. I would encourage those who are in this situation to think about who you might be able to share your worries with. This forum was a big help to me and although I found it scary reading some of the stories, it was a place I could visit anytime and feel in the same boat. The messages of support were a huge help at a time when it feels like the world has turned against you

Aside from the forum, I visited the Samaritans a few days after being accused, the man I saw there was able to listen at least which is worth a lot. I also visited a GP who was very pragmatic and although I would probably have benefited from having a few follow up visits -but short term (urgent) mental health assistance is not something the NHS is great at. I was fortunate enough to be able to see a good quality counsellor through work, and this made a massive difference, without that im not sure I would have been able to cope. I divulged everything about me, which although tough to do, was the first steps to rebuilding my shattered life and my self-esteem. I would highly recommend taking steps to see a good quality counsellor, whether that be via the NHS, through private health insurance or simply paying for it. Give this some thought

I also had great help from my parents, who I had not been particularly close to in recent years. 6 months after getting a NFA, my life is very much back to normal and although I couldn't see it at the time, my life was not over and I can look back at the time I was falsely accused as a dark moment, from which I have recovered.

[thisisinsane]

I can rely to both of your experiences.


Everyone who reads this please keep in mind that life isn't over because if what has happened and is still happening. It will definitely affect you for the rest of your life but the most essential is to see things the way they are and accept a situation you cannot change. That doesnt mean you should give up and let fate decide it simply means you should not wadte a single second painting your future black and focusing on your misery. Its hard but instead enjoy your life as much as you can. Nobody ever gained anything from hours wasted worrying even though it is an appropriate reaction. Fact is its not gonna get you any further or change how the cops and cps look at your case.

Confide in someone you can trust and dont even think of suicide even though it might look like the only or easiest way out. Its not...

[Casehardened]

I stayed away from tge forum for a while because i thought there's nothing i could offer anyway but maybe someone here feels lost, or is left alone and needs someone to talk. As i said i cant offer much but i can do this: listen.

On the contrary, from your postings, you have a great deal to offer, sympathy and understanding is what most members pitchforked into these situations need; the factual and legal stuff can be got from their solicitor.

[jittery]

hi

Hi everyone

I have been absent for a couple of months and took some time to recover. Most of the people posting lately i dont know and it makes me angry how many new members we have had in this short time. Me and my partner have been through it too (historic rape accusations) and have taken the long way from charge to trial.

I know that if i hadnt had another member, frightened spouse to talk to i and we surely wouldn't have made it . Talking to her kept me from going insane and even suicide. I somehow owe her my life.

I stayed away from tge forum for a while because i thought there's nothing i could offer anyway but maybe someone here feels lost, or is left alone and needs someone to talk. As i said i cant offer much but i can do this: listen.

Good for you!
I'm sure you'll find something you can say to folks on the forum.
Just remember how you felt and what you would like to have heard encouragement wise from others.
You'll be surprised how far a few words go