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  • Hello, I'm new, alone and terrified

    Hello, 3 months ago I was arrested for a claim of a historical sexual offence. A girl I had spent eight years with in a loving relationship, has been 'encouraged' be her new boyfriend to claim that I had sex with her 4 weeks before her 16th birthday.

    This is not true. Without revealing too much information that could possible identify me, her new boyfriend has serious trust issues and after trawling through her phone whilst she was in the shower, found out about me and that we were still in contact. He threatened to walk out on their relationship.

    My ex has described her bloke as the 'one' to all and sundry and to tell them all after only 6 weeks it had fell to pieces would be her worst nightmare. This is a long and complicated situation but the facts stand that she walked into a police station and claimed that almost 8 years ago I had sex with her 4 weeks before her 16th birthday.

    I have been on pre-charge bail since and the file is now with the CPS. The story she has given could have easily been discredited if the investigating officer had spoken to one of two witnesses who will state that her claim that I took her away at a certain time just isn't true, but after informing me in my interview that they would be needing to speak to one of those people subsequently didn't do so?

    Also, thanks to what I have read thus far on this site, I have evidence that I found miraculously whilst checking other possibilities that can refute her claim, I was going to inform the police but had already thought better of it and now have no intention of doing so. I understand why she's been persuaded to do this but not how she could have gone through with it.

    I have been living a private hell since then, I fully co-operated with the police and had a 'legal adviser' appointed on arrest that has been all but useless. I can't even get a response to an email I sent three times and it's been almost two weeks.

    I've trawled the web countless times and this is the first time I came across this site.

    I am all alone and my life has been turned upside down, I was already suffering from deep depression due to our relationship ending and had been for almost two years prior, I won't say much more about my circumstances as they may again identify me.

    I have never known a feeling like this in my life and feel that under the new procedures in 2003 (I didn't know the old ones) the CPS and police college's methods are virtually geared towards - if she says it happened, it happened - It appears that absolutely NO EVIDENCE is required but I have to prove my innocence somehow. I was very pro-active to begin with but now all I feel is left out alone with no support, no help and no information, it's a limbo of the worst kind.

    I'm ashamed to say I have had thoughts of ending my life as I could not bear the shame of an accusation of this nature being levelled at me and the consequences that I can expect if this got out, ie attacks on my home, car etc. I keep myself to myself and am a non drinker, but I feel so alone at present. my siblings where very supportive when I told them but they have lives of their own and I don't wish to be a burden to them, but some days I feel so isolated I spend the whole day broken down and in despair. I have just spent the last four days in bed and have only made the effort as my poor dog hadn't been for a walk in that time.

    I'm exhausted already and will need to leave the site until tomorrow, but there appears to be some very good advice within the site and I feel a little more spirited by what I think I may find within.

    Thanks for reading this and my heart goes out to anyone in a similar situation - there is nothing worse than this!
    Last edited by Casehardened; 25 August 2015, 10:41 PM. Reason: spacing added to paragraphs

  • #2
    Hi and welcome to the forum (though sorry to read of the circumstances that brought you here)

    There is some general advice in this link which may be helpful, but do keep posting as it will be helpful to realise that yours is not an isolated situation. Hopefully this will go no further but do remember the question of guilt or innocence regarding the allegation will not be made by the police or CPS but a jury composed of average everyday folks who will hear the exonerating evidence you mentioned (if you told the police about it now they will simply re-interview your ex who may then change her allegation to suit!)

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

    Originally posted by IDNDI View Post
    I have been living a private hell since then, I fully co-operated with the police and had a 'legal adviser' appointed on arrest that has been all but useless. I can't even get a response to an email I sent three times and it's been almost two weeks.
    Don't be despondent about this, as mentioned in the link, solicitors cannot make a claim for legal aid on your behalf unless you are charged so would effectively be working for nothing. Should the matter go further you could research a firm with whom you would be confident.

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

    Comment


    • #3
      CH can I please be a nuisance and ask you to separate out the original post so I can read it?

      FANX?
      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Rights Fighter View Post
        CH can I please be a nuisance and ask you to separate out the original post so I can read it?

        FANX?
        All done now.....
        'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

        Comment


        • #5
          Solicitors

          Hi CH and thank you for taking time to read my briefing, I have already contacted a different solicitor and by coincidence it happens to be one of the highly recommended ones on your site, I don't live too far away from one of their offices either, I briefed them a few days ago but a partner was on holiday so I haven't had a reply just yet.
          I was hoping that this could be stopped long before trial as I don't think I'd win a trial, because of the strong medication I take as well as very impaired short term memory, I can come across as making it up as I go, in interview with the police, I was asked a number of questions I had no answer too in interview but had them the day after when relaxed and under no pressure. I was deemed fit for interview by the police doctor around midday but wasn't interviewed until 6:30pm after being denied my medication because I didn't take the box with it. (How would I know too) I fear I would crumble under the pressure as my demeanour at best is rocky, I become very easily flustered, so much so I only shop just before the store closes or in the night at the 24hr places just to avoid the crowds. I'm praying to God there's no trial, add to that my ex by her own admission is a liar, I'd say near pathological but I don't know the criteria that qualifies you for that, she can lie on her feet and thinks very quickly, if I told you what she does for a living you would understand just how quickly, but that may point to her and I don't wish to do that.
          I have her reasons for doing this and that I can understand, it's the how she could do it I don't get, how selfish can you be to sell someone who was only good to you down the river to salvage a relationship that is that shallow and to salvage your reputation in the eyes of another family member. To even consider making an allegation of this kind against anyone is sheer evil! I am of the belief that she has no idea of the consequences to me should I be found guilty as her boyfriend will be calling the shots, he has obviously read all the CPS and police college stuff I have because her allegation is far too perfect to run with the criteria laid out in those guidelines, also he was replying texts as her to me before I was arrested, I realised it wasn't her when he slipped up with one of his sayings on the end of a text. He has actually made a statement? Considering he had only been with her around 8 weeks at this point, how he can make a statement about an allegation 8 years prior is beyond me? He is certainly controlling the situation. The ruse is so ridiculous it defies belief and I have as you say a trump card, but my dealings in the past with the police and the courts has not been one I would class as seeing justice prevail although I did win one, a motoring allegation, but I've had the police lie against me bare faced (actually I won this one too) and in a statement against a family member that the solicitor claimed was irrelevant? My confidence in the British judicial system isn't high and why would it be? A system that offers you a gamble with the truth against a light sentence for pleading guilty isn't justice, it's a farce! On the face of it, to anyone reading it, you wouldn't vote against me, but how things are twisted in the courts, what evidence is deemed 'irrelevant' and how one persons word against another years later can be deemed enough to charge someone defies belief, innocent until proven guilty is no longer the British way, you are now a 'defendant' until you prove your innocence and that is near impossible to do in historical cases. I may be lucky enough to have found something but I can see it being twisted to suit and that it will be deemed irrelevant, I'm scared to tell anyone at all about it at present!
          I feel as though all this is happening and I'm merely a spectator, that the decision is predetermined and this is all just a performance to justify the courts! My Ex would be deemed a credible witness as she has no prior etc, good job and so on, when I pointed something out to the police regarding some recent criminal behaviour, with documentation, they didn't want to know? although it pointed to the fact she was prone to acting out of character it was obviously detrimental to their 'result' so they didn't want to know, now I can see that being belittled in court as I had given it up to aid the police with their enquiry, which I now know isn't anything of the sort, it's a witch hunt!

          PS The first link you suggested, I had already read it from start to end, it was good information too thank you, it answered some of the questions for me!
          Last edited by IDNDI; 25 August 2015, 11:52 PM. Reason: Addition

          Comment


          • #6
            Sorry I can't read that as it's in one block, so cannot offer any assistance.
            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

            Comment


            • #7
              Sorry

              Sorry about that, I've just realised what you were talking about with the block, If I can figure the edit out, I'll paragraph it properly, I get carried away when I'm trying to get everything in before I forget what I'm thinking.... I'll do that right away

              Comment


              • #8
                Re-post (Much Improved)

                Hi CH and thank you for taking time to read my briefing, I have already contacted a different solicitor and by coincidence it happens to be one of the highly recommended ones on your site, I don't live too far away from one of their offices either, I briefed them a few days ago but a partner was on holiday so I haven't had a reply just yet.

                I was hoping that this could be stopped long before trial as I don't think I'd win a trial, because of the strong medication I take as well as very impaired short term memory, I can come across as making it up as I go, in interview with the police, I was asked a number of questions I had no answer too in interview but had them the day after when relaxed and under no pressure.

                I was deemed fit for interview by the police doctor around midday but wasn't interviewed until 6:30pm after being denied my medication because I didn't take the box with it. (How would I know too)

                I fear I would crumble under the pressure as my demeanour at best is rocky, I become very easily flustered, so much so I only shop just before the store closes or in the night at the 24hr places just to avoid the crowds.

                I'm praying to God there's no trial, add to that my ex by her own admission is a liar, I'd say near pathological but I don't know the criteria that qualifies you for that, she can lie on her feet and thinks very quickly, if I told you what she does for a living you would understand just how quickly, but that may point to her and I don't wish to do that.

                I have her reasons for doing this and that I can understand, it's the how she could do it I don't get, how selfish can you be to sell someone down the river whom was only good to you, to salvage a relationship that is that shallow and to salvage your reputation in the eyes of another family member.

                To even consider making an allegation of this kind against anyone is sheer evil! I am of the belief that she has no idea of the consequences to me should I be found guilty as her boyfriend will be calling the shots, he has obviously read all the CPS and police college stuff I have because her allegation is far too perfect to run with the criteria laid out in those guidelines, also he was replying texts as her to me before I was arrested, I realised it wasn't her when he slipped up with one of his sayings on the end of a text.

                He has actually made a statement? Considering he had only been with her around 8 weeks at this point, how he can make a statement about an allegation 8 years prior is beyond me? He is certainly controlling the situation.

                The ruse is so ridiculous it defies belief and I have as you say a trump card, but my dealings in the past with the police and the courts has not been one I would class as seeing justice prevail although I did win one, a motoring allegation, but I've had the police lie against me bare faced (actually I won this one too) and in a statement against a family member that the solicitor claimed was irrelevant?

                My confidence in the British judicial system isn't high and why would it be? A system that offers you a gamble with the truth against a light sentence for pleading guilty isn't justice, it's a farce! On the face of it, to anyone reading it, you wouldn't vote against me, but how things are twisted in the courts, what evidence is deemed 'irrelevant' and how one persons word against another years later can be deemed enough to charge someone defies belief, innocent until proven guilty is no longer the British way, you are now a 'defendant' until you prove your innocence and that is near impossible to do in historical cases.

                I may be lucky enough to have found something but I can see it being twisted to suit and that it will be deemed irrelevant, I'm scared to tell anyone at all about it at present!

                I feel as though all this is happening and I'm merely a spectator, that the decision is predetermined and this is all just a performance to justify the courts! My Ex would be deemed a credible witness as she has no prior etc, good job and so on, when I pointed something out to the police regarding some recent criminal behaviour, with documentation, they didn't want to know?

                Although it pointed to the fact she was prone to acting out of character it was obviously detrimental to their 'result' so they didn't want to know, now I can see that being belittled in court as I had given it up to aid the police with their enquiry, which I now know isn't anything of the sort, it's a witch hunt!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Solicitor

                  To follow up about the solicitor I contacted, it was Chris Saltese but since reading further posts I realise he only takes on private work and I will need a firm who can take me on legal aid.

                  I will definitely qualify for it as I am disabled and since I had to finish work totally I am now fully reliant on the benefit system.

                  I need to look for a specialist in the North West who can help with my case and be willing to take me on if I'm charged, I did see the names Olliers and Carter Moore mentioned whilst reading posts last night but it was very late and I didn't take everything in that I was reading.

                  I do drive and I am willing to travel any distance necessary if the help I need can be located and any advice regarding the matter as you would expect is greatly appreciated.

                  I can't put in words the difference I feel already finding this forum, to find I'm not totally isolated and helpless has already given me a lift spiritually, I didn't think anyone could imagine how I've been feeling but it appears this forum has others who can relate to this, sad to find but good to find understanding and I thank everyone who helps in any way.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you for separating it out. My eyes are zonked after years of staring into the screen.

                    Do you still have the phone with the texts from the boyfriend? If you do please save them onto your computer or whatever because that will be helpful should this come to trial.

                    Are you in the west of the NW or closer to Manchester? I ask as I might be able to think of a specialist in your area. Any potential trial would usually be close to where the alleged offences occurred or closer to the complainant. They like to make it easier for them. Fine if they are telling the truth but hugely inconvenient if they are lying.
                    People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                    PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi RF

                      Thanks for getting back and yes I know exactly what you mean, I find it difficult to read a lump like the one I posted, I was so tired I just didn't realise sorry.

                      We are both in the same proximity really, although she has moved further away, any trial I would expect to be at one of a number of places that would incorporate her location anyway.

                      I just received a bail variation this morning to the 27th November

                      The phone texts are from HER phone but I can't prove it's him sending them if she backs him up, I have already transferred ALL the texts that were available between her phone and mine and got them on a document, I gave this to the police at interview.

                      (A couple of weeks prior to arrest she rang me 4 or 6 times at 10:30/32/33pm etc but I was in a medication induced sleep, I had been unwell all that weekend and eventually awoke but was all over the place, she said she'd been to the police and told them 'everything' and they had told her to text me telling me not to contact her again??)

                      (Why did she ring relentlessly until I awoke? When I asked that she went silent for a minute, then spent the next few minutes attempting to get me to say we had sex before she was 16 by my admitting the date we 'got together' was in June!)

                      (They were secretly recording the conversation. June was the date SHE marked as an anniversary because it was indeed the day we met, but this was at her house to fix her computer, but being how I am, it made no odds to me so I went with the flow)

                      (However I couldn't remember the numbers as I was under influence of strong meds and it took me a moment or two to actually state the date but I made it clear that it WAS the date I fixed her computer, however, I was questioned about this very conversation by the police as they had given them the taped conversation - illegally (RIPA))

                      (The IO said I sounded as though I was purposely pretending not to know the date as though I knew it but was sort of pretending I didn't? I said at that moment, being startled awake after two days in bed sick under the influence of my meds, I would have taken a minute or two to remember my own birth date let alone a silly anniversary number)

                      Anyway - So I had some prior notice that she had actually attended a police station but even then I wasn't sure because I know not of any police advice that would advise a victim of an alleged offence of any kind to contact the person they are making the allegation against for any reason whatsoever?

                      Given that, I decided just in case I better be prepared and away I went, I drafted some 25/30 pages of A4 painstakingly converting I-phone txt's to excel-word then colour coding each person and adding dates and times. However the police stated to use anything that I had down on paper, I would have to let them have my phone as they would need it in their format for evidence.

                      I voluntarily agreed this as I had nothing to hide and the conversations via texts would only corroborate what I was saying. I was told a couple of weeks without my phone, it was a couple of months!

                      But I still have everything texted on my computer and backed up in multiple places along with all the work I have done thus far. The police have infiltrated my network and all my net activity as well all my personal use on my computer is being logged and traced using forensic technology that I can't block, not that I've anything to hide, I just don't like the thought of personal emails and my bank information being trawled through for no other reason than a girl walks into a police station - (sounds like a joke starting doesn't it, shame it's not funny)

                      There are two reasons I know it was him on the other end - the time, my ex couldn't make it past 9pm and she was out of it, she could sleep 12 hours a day every day period but this text conversation began around 11pm and finalised around 2am. Also terminology, things he said but she never said, you aren't with someone 8 years and not know certain things they say or don't say. One in particular was something he said to me on the phone a number of times but I have NEVER heard my ex use that expression!

                      I am near to Manchester but in honesty, I would gladly drive 30 miles further to avoid the city if it was possible, basically I'm saying the whole North West is local so I care not how far I would have to travel for help.

                      Thank You RF - I am already a different person than I was two days ago just having found you all and with the information I have already gleaned from the site!
                      Last edited by IDNDI; 26 August 2015, 03:29 PM. Reason: Missed something

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        If this goes to charge then the solicitor should seriously think about instructing a linguistics expert to clarify the texts. Hopefully you have some from her to compare them against.

                        I was part of an appeal attempt some years back and a linguistics expert was instructed. She and her boss had been involved in a murder case where an uncle (I think) had murdered his niece and then sent text messages from her phone to himself, pretending to be her.

                        There were no grounds for the appeal I was helping with, but the evidence of the text messages proved the uncle was guilty.

                        I'll see if I can find the link to the story and also the experts contact details.

                        I was thinking of a solicitor in Liverpool but I think Manchester would be outside their jurisdiction. Worry not I'll think of something.......
                        People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                        PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/...rs-923503.html



                          http://www.aston.ac.uk/50/transforming-lives/tim-grant/

                          Do NOT contact him personally. Only a solicitor, barrister or court can instruct an expert in this sort of situation, especially if you are to be legally aided.
                          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Wow!

                            I would never have thought of that! Mind you I had no idea that linguistics could be defined via texts with all the abbreviating and txt language, but amazingly, one thing my ex and I never did was the whole text language, we wrote in plain English as grammatically correct as it could be.

                            Also this is good news too - I also have HIM recorded and him saying the phrase I'm talking about! He rang my disposable internet number one day call withheld - but I always answer anyway but it was a silent call, so I just leave it running, costing them right!

                            It cleared after a minute or so then it rang again and he asked who I was, I asked the same question, obviously suspicious but I recognised the voice, sure enough it was him! He gave me a bull story about the number being written down on a pad or something, more like he had pulled it out of my ex's phone trawling through it again.

                            Anyway he decided to make threats about coming to my home which I missed on the recording, he also asked me how I felt about 'my girlfriend' coming home to him every night and sleeping with him??? I didn't take the bait - I firstly informed him he was welcome to come to my home anytime he wished which slowed him up.

                            As for her coming home to him she wasn't my girlfriend so why would I bother - his response was he feels like he's the winner! My response of - that's great but so do I - rocked him on his heels! I told him if he could put up with a liar like that then he was a better man than me or words to that effect - this appeared to play with his mind.

                            From that point on he moved on to sex - he asked me when the last time she and I slept together 'man to man' which really surprised ME (15-all) I told him it was none of his business what happened previously between her and I, he asked more questions pertaining to sex and appeared obsessed with trying to find out about her and I. I think his question as to hers and my last encounter was an attempt to get me to contradict her so he would have some new hold over her, but I didn't tell him anything!

                            I thought that was weird at best, unfortunately for him, I began to digress and waffle away as I had not long back taken meds and they had kicked, my speech sounds almost slurred towards the end, my phone battery eventually gave up and disconnected the call!

                            After he had illegally given a third party a recording of a conversation of her and me that I wasn't aware of and gave no consent, I responded in kind by giving the police the same, a copy of that strange conversation! I don't know what the police have made of it but I think it shows some motive on his part to be rid of me, albeit I hadn't even spoken to my ex for two months prior to his contacting me?

                            RF - I am certain I have the whole picture as to who, what, when and why, but it seems so unbelievable even I can barely believe it!

                            If I had had the mind to make a single recording on the night I collected my keys from her, I would have had chapter and verse why she has firstly lied to him about this and then the motive behind the decision to inform the police to have me arrested and hopefully jailed, but I never even gave it a thought as never in my wildest imagination did I think she could ever do something to me as awful as this!

                            I'd say more but I think I'm bordering on too much detail already, I would be happy to tell you in a private message if that's allowed or if you have the time even

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I have sent you an email via your profile. Once you have received my email I would disable that function as otherwise you might get people you don't know, who have no experience, trying to "help" you. We've had people posting on here "advice" that is totally wrong and could cause havoc in a case.

                              Check your spam and junk boxes in case it's gone into there!
                              People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                              PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

                              Comment

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