Panicking just a bit!!

[jittery]

hi

Thanks AmandaF.
I'm afraid I wasn't horrified as I think I am constantly being educated as to how the crazy world we live in works!
I keep saying it but this forum is a life line.
It's like we've been sent to another planet! Nothing works how we thought it did.
I'm really praying that you've had a breakthrough in your OH case!
You deserve some positive news after all the help you've been to me.
I'm sure others feel the same.

Know how you feel to an extent. The word crazy world was exactly the same one going round in my mind. There just doesn't seem to be the same common sense there used to be; and even if somebody does say something sensible they are soon shouted down- remember the MP who dared to suggest people should wear more clothes in the winter if they're cold?
You both deserve something to go your way the way you're there for others with your words of support and advice. Let's hope it happens soon! Stay strong both!

[WhyUs]

Sorry to hear that ss are getting involved but unfortunately it is inevitable.

When my husband was first questioned ss were involved straight away. I did exactly what RF has said and put the children first. I told them that I would adhere to any advice / restrictions and if I had any concerns I would inform them immediately. I also allowed them to talk to the children individually and without me there. All of this seemed to help as we have remained in the house together and they said they had no concerns, but restrictions around him being left alone were imposed but they also took into account my work as well within those restrictions. These have been adhered to and when he was charged late last year they revisited, spoke to the children again and again they had no concerns and to continue doing what we were doing as per the first visit. We have had no contact with them since

I think as long as you listen to them, assist them without confrontation, let them know any problems their restrictions may have not just on you but on the children, put the children's safety first and work.with them, hopefully they will work.with you and not disrupt life to much. However it is difficult to tell as they each have their own idea and no doubt some will make life hell whatever. Xx

[YearsOfHell]

Sorry to hear that ss are getting involved but unfortunately it is inevitable.

When my husband was first questioned ss were involved straight away. I did exactly what RF has said and put the children first. I told them that I would adhere to any advice / restrictions and if I had any concerns I would inform them immediately. I also allowed them to talk to the children individually and without me there. All of this seemed to help as we have remained in the house together and they said they had no concerns, but restrictions around him being left alone were imposed but they also took into account my work as well within those restrictions. These have been adhered to and when he was charged late last year they revisited, spoke to the children again and again they had no concerns and to continue doing what we were doing as per the first visit. We have had no contact with them since

I think as long as you listen to them, assist them without confrontation, let them know any problems their restrictions may have not just on you but on the children, put the children's safety first and work.with them, hopefully they will work.with you and not disrupt life to much. However it is difficult to tell as they each have their own idea and no doubt some will make life hell whatever. Xx

Whyus you have given me a glimmer of hope!
I feel like I'm losing my family!
We fought so hard a few years ago to keep my husband here in the UK and this is bringing it all back!
I will try hard to take this advice and we may just be able to stay together!
These experienced of others are invaluable!
Thanks everyone, I will keep you posted.
YoH

[jittery]

hi

Whyus you have given me a glimmer of hope!
I feel like I'm losing my family!
We fought so hard a few years ago to keep my husband here in the UK and this is bringing it all back!
I will try hard to take this advice and we may just be able to stay together!
These experienced of others are invaluable!
Thanks everyone, I will keep you posted.
YoH

For what it's worth, I used to see a woman in W********. Her children always seemed frightened when she shouted at them but there seemed to be nothing to worry about.
Long story short when her eldest daughter had a sleep over her friend's parents would not let her (the daughter) go home until ss had seen her.
They called round and C***** started ranting about people who are supposed to be friends, what do they know (ss) etc. And she fought them tooth and nail in the early days.
Myself and a couple of her friends told her she had to play ball if she wanted to keep her kids; and relctantly she agreed.
All quite severe. Weekly trips to London for therapy with the kids in tow for months then visits from ss for seemed like a couple of years getting more sporadic as time went on.

I've rambled a bit, but the point I'm trying to make is that here is a woman who came within, literally a hairs breadth of losing her children, but kept them by doing EXACTLY as ss said.
Can't see your case being as severe as that, just emphasises the need to do as they suggest.

[YearsOfHell]

For what it's worth, I used to see a woman in W********. Her children always seemed frightened when she shouted at them but there seemed to be nothing to worry about.
Long story short when her eldest daughter had a sleep over her friend's parents would not let her (the daughter) go home until ss had seen her.
They called round and C***** started ranting about people who are supposed to be friends, what do they know (ss) etc. And she fought them tooth and nail in the early days.
Myself and a couple of her friends told her she had to play ball if she wanted to keep her kids; and relctantly she agreed.
All quite severe. Weekly trips to London for therapy with the kids in tow for months then visits from ss for seemed like a couple of years getting more sporadic as time went on.

I've rambled a bit, but the point I'm trying to make is that here is a woman who came within, literally a hairs breadth of losing her children, but kept them by doing EXACTLY as ss said.
Can't see your case being as severe as that, just emphasises the need to do as they suggest.

Thanks jittery.
I'm hopeful that we will be ok.
We're still together now so making the most of it.
Hugs

[YearsOfHell]

Stressed but hopeful!

Ok, so SS have visited the kids at school.
No concerns found.
Home visit next I believe.
Seems hopeful and hubby is still here at home!
I spoke to the social worker on the phone, taking on board previous advice, and I told them I will cooperate with their advice.
Hopefully this will be a way to keep us all together.
Keep everything crossed for us!
It's not all bad news!
Thanks everyone.
YoH

[Casehardened]

Great news, hopefully it will be all downhill (in the positive sense!) from now on ,