Accused of raping my wife for last 3.5 years

[YearsOfHell]

I've sat through too many trials where the jury have been told that as the def had gone no comment, even on legal advice, that they did that as they had something to hide.......

Best to go no comment ONLY when there is no disclosure at all and the police are on a fishing trip.....

How do we know the difference? When is disclosure used please?
Not good with the legal wording/process!

[Rights Fighter]

"Disclosure" in the context above is when the police have, for instance, a statement to refer to during interview with allegations contained in that statement.

Some times they will interview using notes taken at the first stage of the allegation being made so nothing "solid" as from the complainant. Being interviewed using only hand written notes doesn't help either side as there will be only sketchy info contained in them....

A suspect needs to know what he is being accused of, and roughly when it is supposed to have happened

[Araz]

Hi all,

It is disappointing to see how easy it is to be accused for rape and unfortunately it's become a highly common way to either get rid of the man or take revenge etc.

psalms, you have all my sympathies as I have been in a very same trap since last week and I see no way out. I and my wife have been married for 14 years and she had me arrested last week after alleging me for several crimes but the most important one as rape. I have been accused that I have threatened and then raped her five years ago, an absolute nonsense accusation. After 24 hours in custody, I am now out on police bail, homeless and devastated but lucky enough to be able to see my child (the social worker has let that happen yet though).
As a person who has worked very hard for the family, rarely been out with mates and resigned a precious job to spend more time with the family, I feel extremely disappointed and depressed and I see no bright future ahead. I just wish I could go back in time and listened to my wife when she asked me out of the house six months ago without giving a reason.

All the bests

[psalms]

Thanks for your post Araz. I feel for you and your situation too. It is such a hideous accusation to make falsely, and I see no moral difference between someone who is a rapist and someone who knowingly makes false accusations of being raped. I can also relate to looking back in hindsight and seeing the signs and wishing I'd taken a different course of action.

[psalms]

Update

Positive Update:

I've been called by the social worker assigned to our case (we have two children - 7 & 3). He has told me that my wife has told him that the rape accusation is to be dropped. He even went further and said that it was never my wife's intention for me to be arrested on suspicion of rape, but that the police took her statement and decided to question me on suspicion of rape anyway.

It's hard to know exactly who to believe (is my wife / social worker spinning the story so as to spare her blushes?), but I am of course mightily heartened to hear that the police are planning to drop the rape allegation (in the same way that I'd be devastated if the social worker rang me to tell me that the police plan to press ahead and charge me for rape).

One point to make is that this news has reached me before I've even had my solicitor put in my rebuttal statement against the rape accusation - which went in yesterday. So if there is still any lingering thoughts about charging / investing this further, I am reasonably confident that my statement will lance that ugly boil, especially if they question her over what I've said.

That said, I'm not out of the water yet as I got my solicitor to ring the police who just brought out the straight bat and refused to confirm or deny anything other than to say that "investigations are ongoing". I guess I'll find out for certain at my next bail hearing towards the end of August.

Thanks to all,

Psalms

[psalms]

I've now been formally told that the rape allegation has been NFA'd. This is an absolutely massive relief as I had really lost faith in the information given to me at the end of July by Children's services due to the fact that the police told my solicitor that the investigation was still ongoing. I've spent 3 months terrified of going to prison for something I never did. I am just so glad that this ordeal is over, and I also feel so sorry for those who are currently going through it.

The assault allegation against me has also been lowered from a GBH to an ABH, so hopefully there is now very little chance of me having to go to prison (first offence, admission at first opportunity, etc...)

I'll be watching these boards now to see if there is any support or advice I can offer to people, as I'm so very grateful to those of you who offered advice and real-life examples of their situations to me...

Thanks,

Psalms (38v21-22)

[AmandaF]

Well this is kind of good news so I suppose it deserves these!

[Casehardened]

Brilliant news....

PS Because of the children you won't be able to stop contact completely but don't give her an opportunity for another allegation!

[jittery]

hi

I've now been formally told that the rape allegation has been NFA'd. This is an absolutely massive relief as I had really lost faith in the information given to me at the end of July by Children's services due to the fact that the police told my solicitor that the investigation was still ongoing. I've spent 3 months terrified of going to prison for something I never did. I am just so glad that this ordeal is over, and I also feel so sorry for those who are currently going through it.

The assault allegation against me has also been lowered from a GBH to an ABH, so hopefully there is now very little chance of me having to go to prison (first offence, admission at first opportunity, etc...)

I'll be watching these boards now to see if there is any support or advice I can offer to people, as I'm so very grateful to those of you who offered advice and real-life examples of their situations to me...

Thanks,

Psalms (38v21-22)

Congats!

[SalvationNeeded123]

I've now been formally told that the rape allegation has been NFA'd. This is an absolutely massive relief as I had really lost faith in the information given to me at the end of July by Children's services due to the fact that the police told my solicitor that the investigation was still ongoing. I've spent 3 months terrified of going to prison for something I never did. I am just so glad that this ordeal is over, and I also feel so sorry for those who are currently going through it.

The assault allegation against me has also been lowered from a GBH to an ABH, so hopefully there is now very little chance of me having to go to prison (first offence, admission at first opportunity, etc...)

I'll be watching these boards now to see if there is any support or advice I can offer to people, as I'm so very grateful to those of you who offered advice and real-life examples of their situations to me...

Thanks,

Psalms (38v21-22)

Congratulations.

You've got the strength to get through it all, you've just dodged a big bullet. Everything else will be bearable after that.