Intoxication - False sexual assault

[Tony1]

Morning -

October last year I went back with a woman I have known for years after much flirting (both mid 30's).
We had been drinking and had been taking cocaine.
Sexual interaction (digital penetration) took place in the front room and bedroom.
Massive regret on my part but got carried and was weak.
Seven months later she goes to the police claiming sexual assault.
Detailing intoxication and therefore no consent.
My next bail date is June and not sure what to expect.
I am married and a professional.
Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Tony

[Tony1]

Nb. All sexual activity was 100% consensual

[frightened spouse]

Hi Tony

Sorry to see another member, unfortunately your story is common on this forum. Do you have any idea why this woman has waited all these months until making an allegation ? It is always useful to look for motive wherever possible. There can be so many different motivations for making a false allegation, embarrassment, revenge for perceived rejection and compensation being just a few.

Do you have any text messages or other communication from flirting period in the run up to the encounter or more crucially after it ?

Don't be surprised if you're re-bailed when you go back, there will be a lot of police annual leave now the summer is here. No one can tell you definitively what the outcome will be, however we have had many NFA's (No further action) in similar situations recently. Have you told your wife, or are you waiting to see what the outcome is ?

[YearsOfHell]

Sorry that you've found yourself in this situation.
Consent is a difficult one to prove. Especially when alcohol is involved.

Have a look at this link:
http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

The only advice I can offer is write down as much information as you can remember, and if you can remember what was said between you.
Any conversation had since the alleged incident.
Keep this in a safe place as you've not been charged so it's not much help now.
Anything you have that disproves the allegations will not interest the police.
And there is little the solicitor can do unless you're charged.
It's early days so try not to panic.

[Tony1]

Thanks for responding.

My two friends who were out for the evening have given statements to the police giving detail about flirting etc in the pub prior to being invited back to her house.
Every expert has been positive about the outcome but I have grave concerns.

I have no idea why the allegation came seven months after the alleged incident. When I was interviewed I could hardly remember any detail as I was in shock and hadn't given much thought since.

I have told my wife and she has been brilliant.
I made a stupid mistake and was an idiot but the woman I was involved with is as accountable as I am.
It's the lack of responsibility and the attempt to absolve herself of blame that makes me angry.

There is no allegation of force - she is claiming moments of blackout and can't remember detail .
From what I can gather the toxicology report will be crucial - surely cocaine as a stimulate would make black out an odd outcome.

The case is with the CPS and I have been advised there will be a decision in June.

Any further comments greatly appreciated.

[frightened spouse]

Hi Tony if toxicology reports are relevant she must have gone to the police pretty much immediately I would have thought.

If she went to the police months down the line, there would be no such evidence.

[Tony1]

She went to a The Havens the next day.
From what I can gather she thought she had been given Rohypnol or the like.
When the report came back showing cocaine/alcohol she decided not to pursue.
Until seven months later.
Hope that makes sense.

[frightened spouse]

Hi Tony, yes that makes sense. It is good that your wife is being supportive, it is a very heavy burden to carry alone. It is so sad that we live in a society where one party is able to apportion blame following a regretted encounter and the other is not.

Take Care, I very much hope you get your NFA

[Tony1]

Thanks again - I know it's impossible to give reassurance but just knowing that there is understanding and support means a lot.

If I am charged I can't see how it could be proved beyond reasonable doubt but the thought of this stretching on for months is a real worry.

[Genuine]

Thanks again - I know it's impossible to give reassurance but just knowing that there is understanding and support means a lot.

If I am charged I can't see how it could be proved beyond reasonable doubt but the thought of this stretching on for months is a real worry.

hi

im so sorry to hear of yet another false accusation

i cant advise much except for stay strong... be around positive people and make sure you have a great support network. I had my good days and bad days with my partner but i know that i had to hold it together not just for him but for the rugrats as well !!

look after yourself x x

[can it get worse]

Thanks again - I know it's impossible to give reassurance but just knowing that there is understanding and support means a lot.

If I am charged I can't see how it could be proved beyond reasonable doubt but the thought of this stretching on for months is a real worry.

Hi Tony - 'stretching on for months' - unfortunately, this tends to be typical of allegations of this type. The waiting & worry is destructive. The lack of information about the progress of the case is awful. However, you have found a good forum for support and understanding. Keep posting and welcome.

[jittery]

hi

Thanks for responding.

My two friends who were out for the evening have given statements to the police giving detail about flirting etc in the pub prior to being invited back to her house.
Every expert has been positive about the outcome but I have grave concerns.

I have no idea why the allegation came seven months after the alleged incident. When I was interviewed I could hardly remember any detail as I was in shock and hadn't given much thought since.

I have told my wife and she has been brilliant.
I made a stupid mistake and was an idiot but the woman I was involved with is as accountable as I am.
It's the lack of responsibility and the attempt to absolve herself of blame that makes me angry.

There is no allegation of force - she is claiming moments of blackout and can't remember detail .
From what I can gather the toxicology report will be crucial - surely cocaine as a stimulate would make black out an odd outcome.

The case is with the CPS and I have been advised there will be a decision in June.

Any further comments greatly appreciated.

Hi Tony1, difficult, I was told from the off my case wouldn't go further, but I had moments of doubt- only natural under the circumstances. I found my conviction in my innocence my best weapon to fight against the situation. Keeping that in front of me helped me carry on with my day to day activities.

No expert, but I thought coke is a stimulant, or can it lead to whiteys?

June is no time away at all, I was bailed for 10 weeks, so that may mean that they are expecting a quick descision, hope it's a good one for you.
Stay strong!

[Tony1]

Thanks for the positive comments - means a lot.

I was first bailed in March so has been about 2 months in total.
Was your situation similar?

Not sure how relevant toxicology results are in these cases.

Doing my best to carry on as normal but not easy.

On a positive note my work place has been amazing.

[Tony1]

Hi Tony - 'stretching on for months' - unfortunately, this tends to be typical of allegations of this type. The waiting & worry is destructive. The lack of information about the progress of the case is awful. However, you have found a good forum for support and understanding. Keep posting and welcome.

Just a couple of points:

1. I only had one interview when arrested - limited disclosure but then I doubt there is ever much evidence in these cases.

2. No swabs taken - can't be accused of rape?

3. Allegation of digital penetration - could I be charged with something different ?

4. She is saying she had periods of black out - The way I ascertained consent was through her kissing and engaging with me. - is that enough?

5. Will the fact the allegation was made 7 months later make a difference?

Thanks for your time.

[Rights Fighter]

If the allegations were made months ago, it would be pointless swabs being taken as no DNA would exist