Falsely accused of historic rape

[heartbreaking]

Yes I plan on doing so. partner keeps saying stop reading but I feel I'm learning all the time and collecting thoughts and ideas and a defence.
we won't go without a fight and I plan on carry on fighting for others one day too.

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

It's a tragedy when someone finds us as it's always for a sad reason. We all of us can relate to everything you've said as we've all been there and are all at different stages of our journeys. I thought we were the only ones until I found this forum and it's been a great help- there's a lot of support here- Rights Fighter is brilliant on the legal stuff while the rest of us give virtual hugs and spur each other on. It is the most difficult thing I have ever faced in my whole life, but you will get through this.
Thoughts with you, keep posting as I worry when people "disappear""!

Thank you so much. Yes this is the worst that's for sure. Knowing there are people like all of you is comforting. I just wish it were different.

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

Yes. I know we litrally are broken hearted. You seem more down the line than we are. We are just 3 weeks into his nightmare.
How on earth something that didn't happen when my partner was 11/12 can be brought up 25 years later and tear up our family and life.

We simply struggle to gain any concept of it all

Yes unfortunately my husband was then charged which was so shocking. I can't even take it all in! I feel so angry she is putting us all through this. I just stood there and screamed "what!" I don't believe it,. Then you start going over everything. So anyone can say so and so has done this to me even though it's not true and here we are! We just got to dig deep now and clear his name. I keep wishing and fantasising she will come to her senses before it all happens or maybe someone around her senses she's lying etc. definitely must take a certain character to do this... Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn I just but I cannot and will not ever get it. I have even tried to be compassionate. Like she must be in a really bad place or something but then it just morphs into anger and disbelief.

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

Yes I plan on doing so. partner keeps saying stop reading but I feel I'm learning all the time and collecting thoughts and ideas and a defence.
we won't go without a fight and I plan on carry on fighting for others one day too.

Yes me too! It's like we can't have gone through this for nothing and I feel others need support. I intend to do everything I can to support this issue one day too.

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

Hi
You have come to the right place for support I found this site too late for my husband but it's been fabulous support for me. My husband was falsely accused of historical child abuse of my daughter and he was on bail for 18 months but we unfortunately didn't get the right defense abd ny husband is now serving 13 years. I'm not giving up on him I know he's innocent. I know exactly how you are feeling stay strong and be there for each other. Your husband will definitely have ups and downs but just try and make the best of it. It seems you have found a good defense team I so wish we had had hind sight. I hope you don't mind me responding. The legal and justice system is so unfair and wrong and biased now. Take care

Thank you so much and no I don't mind you responding. I wish it could be different for you and I won't lie I find it all very frightening. I don't want this to happen to us. I know my husband has done nothing of the sort and I hope that will be obvious when the time comes. How the police handled it felt incredibly horrid. They even searched our home even though it was over ten years ago and they took something that belonged to me (well I bought it a few years ago for us) and its not related literally as I didn't know him back then! So I have lots of questions and want lots of answers. I just hope the truth comes out. We have tried to not over think it when we don't have to and only when something prominent is occurring to do with court. That way we grab a tiny piece of sanity in between.

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

Bad day

I'm having a really bad day today. The kind of day you feel you won't get when you feel strong and you can hadle anything. We have more info now on what's been said by the FA and family members following magistrates referral hearing etc and it's made my stomach turn. They have several statements and to top it off the ex wife has decided to not help in any way and said damming things that I fear won't help my husband. I feel desperate and sick about it all. I hope I can stay strong as it does not make good reading even though my husband hasn't done anything. Has this happened to anyone else? Thanks for reading and letting me share bits -I don't know what else to do xx

[WhyUs]

hi and a sorry welcome to the forum.

You have come to the right place. The devastation these accusations have are mortifying. I didn't think that one person could have such a profound effect on our lives. You have chosen a good solicitor in Gerry. We are a bit further down the road than you, trial is currently set for the summer. Our liar is an ex family member, who my husband hasn't seen for nearly 20 years so very similar. The home searching was awful, I felt violated .. he didn't even live in this house at the time of the alleged incident.

I hated the magistrates court. We felt we didn't belong there and seeing him in the dock was awful. I came out feeling numb. At first the things we read were horrid and I felt there was no way out, however a little piece of advice. Let your thoughts settle for a couple of days and then sit through and re-read with a clear head. Its amazing how things they have said that seem to be damming when your head is spinning, suddenly become clearer and you can see them for what they are ... Lies ... I went through each statement and highlighted everything that was inaccurate, could be contradicted etc. I did this two or three times and now thy look like someone has let a kid lose with a pen. Its is a cathartic experience as well.

I have times when I feel like I cant carry on, but then I realise that I am not going to let some messed up little girl ruin my family, and the fight comes straight back. if you haven't already done so speak to your GP about how you are feeling. Mine was fantastic, listen to my water downed version and gave me excellent advice. Although you are not the one accused you are affected just as badly, and in some ways its harder, because you want to be strong, not show any weakness. But it is ok to cry, ok to feel sorry for yourself too. I sometimes hate myself, because I can do normal things that he cant, like go round a friends and find they have popped to the shops so sit with their teenage children til they get back .. he cant because of bail restrictions .. its frustrating...

By the sounds of it you are doing great
xx

[heartbreaking]

This is frightening. I'm so sorry. We know there's 4 statements already against my partner I dread to think what's in them.

He just sits in his box room at his parents house now waiting. As he has lost everything.
I hope you all kick serious bum at court and teach those liars a lesson. Xxx

[AmandaF]

Just keep believing his innocence. It's all so vile!! Don't be surprised tho if you have a wobble and wonder whether........it's called reality. I questioned the whole of our ten years together, analysed absolutely everything we had done as a family and when I finally got to see the allegations in writing, horrendous as they were, instead of adding to any doubts I may have had they completely and absolutely confirmed what I knew- he was 1000% innocent.

You will have bad days- it's to be expected . I felt as though I wanted to run through the village I lived in with a kalashnikov just to get revenge on these low-life idiots, wanted them to suffer as we had and still are.

It's ok to acknowledge that you can't always put on the happy face, it's ok to cry and scream- we all need to do that.

[WhyUs]

Just keep believing his innocence. It's all so vile!! Don't be surprised tho if you have a wobble and wonder whether........it's called reality. I questioned the whole of our ten years together, analysed absolutely everything we had done as a family and when I finally got to see the allegations in writing, horrendous as they were, instead of adding to any doubts I may have had they completely and absolutely confirmed what I knew- he was 1000% innocent.

You will have bad days- it's to be expected . I felt as though I wanted to run through the village I lived in with a kalashnikov just to get revenge on these low-life idiots, wanted them to suffer as we had and still are.

It's ok to acknowledge that you can't always put on the happy face, it's ok to cry and scream- we all need to do that.

I did the same Amanda, had days where I questioned especially at the beginning, but the allegations and statements we have received also confirmed to me that he is totally innocent and that she is a out and out liar as are her family and friends.

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

hi and a sorry welcome to the forum.

You have come to the right place. The devastation these accusations have are mortifying. I didn't think that one person could have such a profound effect on our lives. You have chosen a good solicitor in Gerry. We are a bit further down the road than you, trial is currently set for the summer. Our liar is an ex family member, who my husband hasn't seen for nearly 20 years so very similar. The home searching was awful, I felt violated .. he didn't even live in this house at the time of the alleged incident.

I hated the magistrates court. We felt we didn't belong there and seeing him in the dock was awful. I came out feeling numb. At first the things we read were horrid and I felt there was no way out, however a little piece of advice. Let your thoughts settle for a couple of days and then sit through and re-read with a clear head. Its amazing how things they have said that seem to be damming when your head is spinning, suddenly become clearer and you can see them for what they are ... Lies ... I went through each statement and highlighted everything that was inaccurate, could be contradicted etc. I did this two or three times and now thy look like someone has let a kid lose with a pen. Its is a cathartic experience as well.

I have times when I feel like I cant carry on, but then I realise that I am not going to let some messed up little girl ruin my family, and the fight comes straight back. if you haven't already done so speak to your GP about how you are feeling. Mine was fantastic, listen to my water downed version and gave me excellent advice. Although you are not the one accused you are affected just as badly, and in some ways its harder, because you want to be strong, not show any weakness. But it is ok to cry, ok to feel sorry for yourself too. I sometimes hate myself, because I can do normal things that he cant, like go round a friends and find they have popped to the shops so sit with their teenage children til they get back .. he cant because of bail restrictions .. its frustrating...

By the sounds of it you are doing great
xx

I cannot thank you enough. All I have done today is cry and feel sick. I will take your advice on board as funny enough I thought to myself when saine that's exactly what we should do with these initial details. It's a living nightmare and we have to get through it. I wish you the very best in the summer. It's sadly comforting to know you are not alone xx

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

Just keep believing his innocence. It's all so vile!! Don't be surprised tho if you have a wobble and wonder whether........it's called reality. I questioned the whole of our ten years together, analysed absolutely everything we had done as a family and when I finally got to see the allegations in writing, horrendous as they were, instead of adding to any doubts I may have had they completely and absolutely confirmed what I knew- he was 1000% innocent.

You will have bad days- it's to be expected . I felt as though I wanted to run through the village I lived in with a kalashnikov just to get revenge on these low-life idiots, wanted them to suffer as we had and still are.

It's ok to acknowledge that you can't always put on the happy face, it's ok to cry and scream- we all need to do that.

Thank you so much - that is basically my day nailed to a tee! I felt so bad to question but realise I wouldn't be human if I didn't. It's the first time I have seen any details etc I keep thinking is my last 9years a lie as I did not know him at the time of the FA, did I misjudge this man. I felt guilty for thinking it and I'm sure I will again but I can see clearly he is part of some malicious rubbish between an estranged daughter and a bitter ex wife. I really hope this pans out ok. Today is one of those days darker days.

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

This is frightening. I'm so sorry. We know there's 4 statements already against my partner I dread to think what's in them.

He just sits in his box room at his parents house now waiting. As he has lost everything.
I hope you all kick serious bum at court and teach those liars a lesson. Xxx

Thank you. So do I. It's terrified me the content of the statements as they don't look good. It shook me to my very core today and my whole world was thrown in to doubt, confusion and questioning everything. The lengths someone will go to and the now hindsight opinions of others from way back then is all so detrimental. It is frightening and today is a day where I just couldn't get a grip. Thanks to all of you replying it makes me feel stronger and not alone, especially when it feels so desperate. I wish you the best outcome possible and everyone else on here. Thank goodness for this forum.

[AmandaF]

Thank you so much - that is basically my day nailed to a tee! I felt so bad to question but realise I wouldn't be human if I didn't. It's the first time I have seen any details etc I keep thinking is my last 9years a lie as I did not know him at the time of the FA, did I misjudge this man. I felt guilty for thinking it and I'm sure I will again but I can see clearly he is part of some malicious rubbish between an estranged daughter and a bitter ex wife. I really hope this pans out ok. Today is one of those days darker days.

I think if you blindly accepted his innocence without question it would be very naive.I had the "in denial" label hung on me from the very beginning , but because I had analyzed EVERYTHING over and over I knew that this is just a bog -standard phrase thrown at women like us by the police, SS- anybody!! Don't feel guilty- feel proud that after all the questioning you are still supporting him even though it feels like it's against all odds. Our years together were some of the best of my life and nothing will ever change that

[Wifeofaninnocentman]

Feeling low

Just feel low today, reading over everything and plea hearing around the corner. Just remind me why do these people make FA's again?