The Aftermath

[tiftaf]

My life has never been the same since Taf was accused. I have lost all hope in human nature. He was acquitted but the horror continues even 3 years later. We will never, ever be the same. Taf has turned into someone I don't know anymore. Gone is the carefree person I knew. Instead I have someone who is determined to try and get justice and I know he will never get it.

It never goes away, its like its here to stay, that massive spectre of injustice.

Of course it could have been worse. He could have gone to trial and been imprisoned and I try every day to look on the bright side but it has changed our world so irreparably.

The point of my post is to let others know that it is still okay to cry and rail. For others the acquittal means it is over but for me it never stops. I feel lonely and heart sore and very ****ing angry. I think my friends have forgotten the nightmare to be honest. It wasn't palatable when I was going through it, so I have little chance of support after.

So, stay strong people I have a new life now. In lots of ways it looks great. I can write and live the dream but that false allegation of rape against a loved one? Nah I dont think I will ever get over that.

[AmandaF]

Moved me to tears!!!

I'm a falsely accused partner of a wrongly convicted man so this whole thing has been a double whammy for me. My case was dismissed after one witness was heard but I will never ever be seen as "Not guilty".
I can understand why he wants to continue the fight- why should these people get away with what they have done, the heartbreak and havoc they have caused??

I am still seriously considering starting some kind of campaign to try to get our voices heard.

But in the meantime we have to live with the catastrophic damage to our loved ones and ourselves.

That, in itself, is a crime

[karmaiscoming]

I can only imagine what this is like.

Although my husbands fate is yet to be decided I can imagine whatever the outcome is he will never let it go. He holds on to so much anger now and every time we pass our flat that we are not allowed to live In until it's over it just all bubbles up again.

A 'not guilty' will never ever mean it has ended. A 'not guilty' is still an imprisonment.

I hope all people who have to got through this find peace somewhere and some how.

I honestly don't know how we will ever do that.

[YearsOfHell]

Life changing!

I completely agree with this!
Life will never be the same again.
Acquitted, NFA, or convicted these allegations cause damage from the start.
I looked back on our Facebook account the other day and realised how much it has changed us.
Mundane things I used to do, things we used to enjoy that have been tainted now.
Obviously being acquitted would be great but the damage is done.
But it's up to us how we proceed with what's left of our shattered lives.
I'm am desperately clinging on to what's still good in our lives.
These small things have become a whole lot more precious!!!
Sending big hugs through cyber space.
YoH

[mickw]

I know exactly what you are feeling, two years after a not guilty verdict and I still feel so angry. I know and common sense says I should get on with my life. However I feel so cheated out of those months of horror, I just want to hit back.

Mick

[Silver]

Very well said Tiftaf I share your sense of despair, and the anger my OH is going through, (who's still awaiting his fate)...The FAs need to be brought to justice, then perhaps we could turn this savage chapter in our book of life...

[YearsOfHell]

I know exactly what you are feeling, two years after a not guilty verdict and I still feel so angry. I know and common sense says I should get on with my life. However I feel so cheated out of those months of horror, I just want to hit back.

Mick

I'm struggling too mick.
It's awful. Over a year since the NFA, but my feelings are worse now than ever!
Angry - Sad - Tired - Hatred Its like a constant cycle!
All I can say is some days will be better than others.
It never goes away. But we have to look for the good things we have.
I try desperately to cling to the good and positive things in life.
Today is a bad day.
Hopefully there will be a good day soon
I really don't know how we get through each day, but somehow we do.
I feel like I'm walking round carrying the weight of our accusers!!
I just want to throw them off and be happy, but I don't know how.
Have you tried talking to anyone?
YoH

[mickw]

Hi YOH,

It is a struggle, I came to live in Bulgaria to live my dream, to have a place with land to bring up livestock in a peaceful village setting. All that was shattered two years ago, I was dragged back to the UK to answer the false allegations, i was found not guilty and returned home to Bulgaria. I have had to start all over again, I had to sell off most of my animals as my wife could not handle them on her own. I have a bottled up anger that all this could have been avoided had the justice system been impartial and seen through the lies before it came to that. Time will tell if I will work through this.

Mick

[YearsOfHell]

You have to work through it!!
For your own sake you must!
You need to think of it as a temporary hitch, as if you had a medical issue, for example a broken bone.
That broken bone was serious and it took you a long time to recover.
But now you're better and you need to get back on track.
Yes, youve lost a lot of what you had but you will be ok.
Positive thinking helps me although I admit I do often feel so angry that I can't be positive.
But each day is a new start.
Try and let the anger go.
You obviously have a wife and a home, and these are things some people dream of!
Some days that "broken bone" will ache and be painful but ride it out.
Make allowances for the bad days and big up the good days!!!
Writing this is reminding me how easy it is to lose sight of what's important.
You get one life - don't waste it being angry all the time.
We will get over it eventually.
Keep posting and we can help each other.
Have a good day
YoH

[mickw]

Hi YoH,

Thanks for the support, you are right of course. To give in to theses feelings just means my life is on hold. I do have good days and bad. The good ones are beginning to outweigh the bad. I have a wonderful wife who has been by my side throughout this ordeal and continues to support me through this Dark patch. I will get through it and get on with my life.

Mick