Don't know where to turn.

[Rights Fighter]

PAFAA with SOFAP = People Against False Allegations of Abuse & Support Organisation for Falsely Accused People. SOFAP was mine unti I became seriously ill in 2004 and woke up on a life support machine. I had to slow down and take stock so the guy who owns PAFAA and I merged.

Yes VV I've had to swap to first class bubbles only!

[VincentV35]

Hey all,

Been quiet again but mostly because everything has settled for the last couple of weeks and I have not felt the need to post as that sense of normality is really returning.

Anyhow, just wanted to check a couple of things

1. I have been having contact with my mother via email, she has given a few details of the case now going on between my sister and brother (my FA) I know it is not directly linked to my case but can I actually get in any trouble for being privy to information in that case? Just want to be certain.

2. I spoke to my OIC a couple of weeks ago asking if my new bail date (14th of September) can be moved to a couple of days later as the re-bailing has put it during 2 weeks that my girlfriend has off work and we are planning on going away during that time. She told me to email her with a request so she can deal with it, she said she could see no issue with it as the case is with the CPS and is now just waiting for a decision. I have not heard back as of yet, does anybody know how long these requests can usually take? Or should I just phone her again to check?

Have been lurking about reading posts and I am glad to see a number of NFA and not guilty results popping up, hope to see many more (my own included)

[Rights Fighter]

If it's not linked to your case then I cannot see a conflict of interest.

I can't answer your query about going on holiday. I suppose you could email her, tell her the dates, where you are going, and when you will be back "for your information" so you are saying you are going anyway.

You've done what was requested and emailed her. She's not come back to you with a definitive answer, and you will then have told her the dates and where you are going, so she cannot complain, in my view.

Ask the solicitor for legal advice is you are still unsure what to do. Do it in email so you have the answer "in writing".

[VincentV35]

Thanks RF,

Yeah the only link is obviously my accuser is the accused in that case. I figured it would cause no issue but wanted to be 100% sure just in case

Yeah, I have followed the procedure she outlined on the phone when I emailed her. As I don't have a solicitor yet I guess I can't actually seek "qualified" advice on the matter. If worst comes to worst I will just ring again before I go and make sure it is okay. To be honest I am expecting there another re-bailing letter anyway around then but better to be safe than sorry.

[VincentV35]

Hi all,

Just a minor update, my requested bail extension was answered and accepted the other day. The OIC informed me on the phone that my case is currently with the CPS and she is waiting for a response from them as to how things are going to proceed.

My mother has emailed me to inform me that my brother (FA) was also in magistrates last week and is due in Crown Court for initial hearing tomorrow. She did not tell me what plea he entered at Magistrates. I don't know if anybody would be in the position to answer this but I will ask anyway, what effect would his own case have on his accusation against me, if any?

Other than these small bits of information normality has settled in and even though the amount of seizures I am having has gone through the roof and how little I am sleeping at present life on the whole is as positive as can be expected for the time being. I hope everyone else is well too.

[YearsOfHell]

It's strange how we somehow get used to the new kind of "normal".
What's "normal" for us now is distressing but somehow we are coping.
There's not much else to do but cope.
We have a similar situation in that the FAs family member has been charged and is in court (again) and we know that the allegations against my OH will be discussed again in the courtroom with the FA present.
I don't know yet how this will affect the case against my OH, we are still waiting for CPS decision too.
Hopefully it will work out in our favour in the long run, but until we know the specifics of our own case, we really don't know.
We could ask the solicitor his opinion but we don't like to bother them when we are on legal aid and are mindful that they won't be paid for the work.
You seem to be coping with things despite everything, so hang in there!
Someone else may know more about it.
Sorry I can't help more!
Keep strong, we're all in this together!
YoH

[VincentV35]

Back again with an update.

I was due to answer bail tomorrow but have received and email from OIC extending my bail again as they still have not heard back from CPS. This time I have had another 2 and a half months extension ending in mid December.

Absolutely gutted that it has happened again, I really had high hopes that this time I was going to get the answer but back onto the limbo shelf I go. And back to the continuing lack of sleep for no obvious reason, annoyingly I don't even feel anxious anymore so I have no idea what is actually causing the lack of sleep.

Thank you for your kind words YoH and telling me about the similarities with your case. I am very sorry that I didn't reply at the time, I think I was riding high on the wave of "normality" and didn't want to visit here in case it made the wave crash.

[Soul2soul]

Hi vincent

Not much help i can offer but know you are not alone and As many onhere have said, lets stay positive. These are words coming from someone struggling like yourself, just wish i could be much help.

[WhyUs]

Sorry to hear that bail has been extended again. My husband was on the limbo shelf for 9 months before they made the heartbreaking decision to charge. 10 months later and still waiting trial.

Lack of sleep, now thats one I can sympathise with. Even when my anxiety is not there I still struggle to maintain a normal sleeping pattern .. and the dreams.... I have never experienced anything like them .. my subconcious must be working overtime!