Don't know where to turn.

[VincentV35]

Okay yes, confirm was the wrong word to use there. I was meaning more agree lol.

Ah well, it is what it is. Phoning the OIC on Monday to see if there is any way my bail conditions can be relaxed but beyond that nothing I can do until September.

[VincentV35]

Quite the dramatic turn of events today. I have over the last few weeks considered getting in contact with my mother to find out what my family thinks of goings on, for some reason it has been playing on my mind wondering if they believe I am capable of doing what I have been accused of. Finally got the courage up to make the call this morning and honestly I got more than I bargained for!

For a start my entire family has been interviewed, they have all said that they 150% don't believe I am capable of such a thing at all and are willing to completely back me, this was surprising by itself (considering we have no contact for near 15 years) but then the real shock came up. My mother asked what the police had told me when I enquired as to how the family were, I basically told her that they had told me very little except that my sister had finished school etc. She then informed me that my brother (accuser) has been charged and is going through court for grooming and raping our younger sister!!! The accusation against me only came up AFTER he had already been arrested and questioned himself, the officer who interviewed my mother said informally that he believes that my brother is making these accusations to form some kind of mitigating circumstances to explain away his own crimes.

Of course I don't believe that this turn of events means I should just ignore my own case and expect it to just go away. As much as I have gone from wanting to hurt him for what he has done to me, to wanting to kill him for what he did to our sister. I still feel like part of the weight is off my mind now I kind of know his motive for throwing this **** at me!

This is an absolutely horrible, crazy world sometimes!

[AmandaF]

What a truly shocking story- words fail me.

But in a way it comes as no surprise to me- someone on here used the term "Deflection of guilt" and this is what happened to my wrongly convicted OH, the only difference being that it didn't fully come to light until 2 weeks ago, although we knew anyway, just had no proof.

I am so sorry to hear of your sister's plight- I hope she too gets justice in all this, but it's a positive that your family are behind you.

I hope it all works out for all of you now

[Rights Fighter]

Are you the same Vincent I have been "talking to" via Facebook private messages?

[VincentV35]

AmandaRF: Yeah, its the kind of stuff that you see on the front page of those women's chat magazines, I always thought that stuff was totally made up and now I am in the middle of such a story!

Yeah I remember seeing about the scumbag who accused your OH, even though it is quite easy to understand it still disgusts me that people seem to actually live by the idiom "If i'm going down, somebody is coming with me!" From what my mother did tell me about my sisters situation, it seems that there is a lot of evidence against him and that it is pretty much a dead cert that she will see justice done, I really am hoping so.

Rights Fighter: Yes, I am the same Vincent you have been speaking to on Facebook private messenger, why do you ask?

[Rights Fighter]

Because there's bits you have told me on FB that you do not mention at all here. And what you mention here does not correspond to the PMs.

You say another family member has been accused and convicted in your FB messages.

I was wondering whether there are two VinctenteV's, that's all.

[VincentV35]

The person I messaged you about being convicted the other week RF is my girlfriends father, not a family member of mine. And without going into detail the stuff that was mentioned in PM couldn't be put on here anyway no matter how relevant.

Unless you are confusing our PM's with anothers?

[Rights Fighter]

No confusion. Just odd that the two had different things in it.

And without going into detail the stuff that was mentioned in PM couldn't be put on here anyway no matter how relevant.

If the other one is "relevant" is this the same accuser? Maybe explain in PM......

[Rights Fighter]

.............................She then informed me that my brother (accuser) has been charged and is going through court for grooming and raping our younger sister!!! The accusation against me only came up AFTER he had already been arrested and questioned himself, the officer who interviewed my mother said informally that he believes that my brother is making these accusations to form some kind of mitigating circumstances to explain away his own crimes.

.....................
This is an absolutely horrible, crazy world sometimes!

Very likely. It's called "Abuse Excuse". Some people use it to deflect any punishment coming to them, like some sort of sympathy card. It's evil because those who have suffered abuse during childhood are less likely to heal than an adult who has already gone through their formative years with no problems.

I know of cases where the complainant is in prison after serving a long sentence and are hoping to get parole. They will suddenly "remember" they were sexually abused as children and play it as a sympathy card. Strange they never remembered it before.......

[VincentV35]

What we discussed on Facebook about my case specifically can't be posted on here as it contains personal identifying information of me and my FA like you told me to avoid showing publicly when I first joined here RF

Yeah, like I said to Amanda, I can understand why he has suddenly "remembered" the accusations he is making, the "Abuse Excuse" seems like it would very much be the go to card when faced with their own crimes and wanting to do anything they can to avoid punishment. Like attempted insanity pleas in premeditated murder cases etc.

It is an absolutely sickening thing to do but the kind of people who commit these kind of crimes clearly don't much care who they hurt even when they finally have to face the consequences of their actions. And it always hurts so many different people, not just those in the centre of it all!

[Rights Fighter]

What we discussed on Facebook about my case specifically can't be posted on here as it contains personal identifying information of me and my FA

What you've said on FB in private messages doesn't contain identifying information from what I can see, and certainly I have not mentioned any of it here.

Looking at the PMs I don't think you mentioned the complainant in your case being your brother, although I may have deleted some from a couple of weeks ago as I was getting clogged up on FB with PMs.

You've posted far more information on here.

But never mind. I now know that the two cases are not connected in any way. That was what was confusing.

[VincentV35]

You are quite right, I just had a flick through our PM's and I didn't make mention that my FA was my brother. I just assumed you knew before we PM'd, my mistake

But yes, the two cases are entirely unrelated except for the fact that I am involved in both. As support for my girlfriend in her fathers case and obviously as the accused in my own.

Sorry if I caused any confusion there, was not intended haha

[Rights Fighter]

I'm easily confused! I'm at a certain age......

[Feeling Low]

I'm easily confused! I'm at a certain age......

22? right lol.

you hear of this so often now, not saying they are all true, by any means, just 'learned' behavior maybe. however deploreable it is.

I feel sorry for your sister.but at least she had the strength and courage to stand up and report it. it must be of some relief to know your family are behind you regardless of the fact you havn't spoken for so long.

What is PAFAA and SOFAP? if you don't mind me asking.

[VincentV35]

22? Nahh, RF is totally 18, her confusion must come from the giddiness of her discovery of the pleasures of good alcohol (she's the classy type, I can tell. Not a drop of Lambrini to be found)

I totally agree Feeling Low, even though I have not seen her in many years I am incredibly proud that she was able to find the courage to bring it to light, even with him living in the house and being able to intimidate her. Yes it is of some relief to know that regardless of me moving away that they still care enough to completely support me and to tell the police of their support! Turns out my mother was interviewed for longer than I was, nearly 5 hours with the accusations against me. Honestly given the situation and how much my sister has had to deal with, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to offer my support and see if I can reforge some form of a relationship with my family members. It feels like there is no time more important to putting old differences aside than in situations like these.

I'm not sure if I am allowed to say exactly what PAFAA and SOFAP is, but I am sure RF will outline it fully for you