Don't know where to turn.

[VincentV35]

I have been checking my spam and junk RF. Not a thing.

Jittery, until recently I had always considered myself a fairly lucky person, been run over on many occasions when I was younger and living in a busy city and sustained almost no injuries. Until this all started I was one of those kind of people who seem to breeze through life just on the luck of the draw. It seems right now Lady luck has decided to bite back with a vengeance in about the worst possible way. Now I will be lucky to just catch a break, I am holding onto the slim hope that I am getting all this at once to really make me appreciate a swift NFA or something.

Honestly though, if I was to be charged and it was to go to court. Wouldn't this effectively come down to who the jury likes? As stupid as this may sound but it is a case of a historic accusation where zero evidence or witnesses can be presented, unless of course other family members decide they want to punish me for breaking all contact and moving away by making stuff up to support his "claim". RF's post about how long appeals can take because of the funding issue has kind of worried me a bit.

[Kjg]

Funny that we think we are doing the right thing by moving on with our life's and letting others get on with theirs and then BOOM something happens in their lives and the only person that gets the blame is someone that has had no involvement in their life's for years. Cowards way out if you ask me if its not about revenge it will boil down to money or lack of attention.

Sounds like you have been doing to much googling on historic allegations STOP your drive yourself insane

[VincentV35]

Agreed Kjg,

My brother was still fairly young when I left (almost 15 years ago now) and other than brief contact over facebook with him a few years ago that he initiated I have been totally separate from my family. I honestly couldn't begin to speculate why he decided to make the accusation, if it was out of lack of attention then he must certainly know he won't be getting any after this. Whatever his reasoning I completely agree that it is an act of total cowardice, there is never a good enough reason to want to destroy somebody else's life with total fabrications, fabrications that they get to totally put out of their mind except when making a couple of statements. I am still kind of hoping that it is some twisted cry for attention and that seeing it progressing will force re-evaluation of the choice he made, but sadly more often than not the kind of mind that considers this course of action rational is also the kind of mind that will see it through to the end.

No, I have not been googling, I promised my girlfriend that I would not do any research beyond the absolute necessary until after my bail report next month when I have a firmer idea of what route this whole mess is taking. But Facebook posts do come up on my feed and if they read-worthy then I read them.

[AmandaF]

Just a thought- did he know about your girlfriend's situation??
People are notorious for jumping on the band wagon when they see the attention and focus given to the "victim". (I use the term loosely)

[VincentV35]

No AmandaF he is unaware of the situation as far as I am aware, myself and my partner had not long met when I was last in contact with him, and that situation was just starting up then. Hard to believe that investigation/court case has taken nearly 6 years now!

Obviously news travels fast and it would not be outside the realms of possibility to have caught wind of it, but I highly doubt it being as it only appeared in the local paper down here and he lives about 500 miles away.

[AmandaF]

SIX YEARS!!! That is absolutely appalling!!!!!
No, just wondered whether there was any kind of link.

[VincentV35]

Yep, crazy to think it has taken that long. In the defence of the police they have had to collect "witness" statements from as far afield as Australia so I imagine that puts quite a delay on things. He was bailed 9 times before being charged though and then it took another 2 years for it to reach crown. That chapter finally closes one way or another next month.

That's another reason I am hoping for a swift NFA. It would be nice for all of this mountain of stuff to all vanish at the same time, giving a total fresh start etc.

[jittery]

I have been checking my spam and junk RF. Not a thing.

Jittery, until recently I had always considered myself a fairly lucky person, been run over on many occasions when I was younger and living in a busy city and sustained almost no injuries. Until this all started I was one of those kind of people who seem to breeze through life just on the luck of the draw. It seems right now Lady luck has decided to bite back with a vengeance in about the worst possible way. Now I will be lucky to just catch a break, I am holding onto the slim hope that I am getting all this at once to really make me appreciate a swift NFA or something.

Honestly though, if I was to be charged and it was to go to court. Wouldn't this effectively come down to who the jury likes? As stupid as this may sound but it is a case of a historic accusation where zero evidence or witnesses can be presented, unless of course other family members decide they want to punish me for breaking all contact and moving away by making stuff up to support his "claim". RF's post about how long appeals can take because of the funding issue has kind of worried me a bit.

I'm no expert, hopefully you will get a quick nfa. I suspect the descision will probably boil down to whether the accuser makes a "compelling witness" or not. Hopefully no one will corroborate the story, the best thing to do if you can is to try not to think too much about what might happen, just try to live in the moment and wait for the descision. Horrible situation to be in, fingers xd. Stay strong!

[AmandaF]

So in her dad's case they did a pretty wide "trawl" then??
Funny how they manage to come up with "witnesses" who don't live in the area

[123zyx]

I'm no expert, hopefully you will get a quick nfa. I suspect the descision will probably boil down to whether the accuser makes a "compelling witness" or not. Hopefully no one will corroborate the story, the best thing to do if you can is to try not to think too much about what might happen, just try to live in the moment and wait for the descision. Horrible situation to be in, fingers xd. Stay strong!

This is very good advice and mirrored what happened to me - the police investigated and decided there would not be any further action. If you're re-interviewed or the police/CPS make the wrong decision and this goes further, I can recommend Chris Saltrese, a solicitor who helped me - he's a very calming influence.

The compelling witness thing is significant. It seems that often people who make false accusations are very far from that, and this could count in your favour.

This forum (and PAFAA) are a great resource, but please bear in mind that everyone's case is different and please don't let yourself get frightened by some of the worst stories. Yours might (and I hope very much that it will) turn out for the best.

You have to stay strong, believe in yourself, and understand that one day this will all seem like a bad dream from the past.

[VincentV35]

Apologies for my quietness again, been trying to deal with my girlfriends fathers case and various other things.

Unfortunately her fathers case has now finished, and he has been sent to prison for 14 years. My partner is absolutely devastated and is working to get herself through the grief of it, a process not particularly helped by the fact he has now decided he wants nothing to do with us any more as she was unable to get the final court day off work so was not in attendance. Hopefully his stance changes in time, he has plenty of time to consider the fact he will be alienating the only person who stood by him. Alongside this, the local paper decided to print our address as his (again!) so I had the fun task of arguing with them to have the address omitted from the article. Luckily I was successful in that so seemingly nobody who would be likely to say anything to my partner to upset her has seen it.

I report for bail myself next Monday, although if I am requestioned then sods law it has fallen during the solicitors strikes meaning the solicitors RF suggested to me will be unavailable due to not taking on new work and I will just have to make do with whoever they send through the door. Very much hoping they don't re-question me and either NFA or rebail me straight away.

Other than that, like people said it would. Life has come back to some small level of normality. Although it is still dragging like crazy, these last 6 weeks have felt like an eternity and I am expecting the next week to feel even longer.

[AmandaF]

Oh dear, sorry to hear that it was a poor outcome, can't have done much for morale. Is there to be an appeal?
As for him turning his back on her, these things have a strange effect on us so hopefully that will pass.

I hope your own case comes to a positive end soon.

[VincentV35]

Hey Amanda, yeah this outcome has not been the best for morale.

I believe he plans to appeal but we are not 100% what is going on until he decides to get in contact. We are waiting to hear back from prisoner location services but are not holding out much hope so soon.

As for my case only a couple of days left to find out our stance going on, I will be back to report on Monday afternoon whatever happens, hoping it will be good news

[VincentV35]

To update, had a letter arrive this morning (Nice they leave it so late) informing me that my bail has been extended to the 14th of September because "we are unable to proceed at this time" I can only assume this means that the investigation is somehow ongoing but they did not wish to requestion me at this time and that the OIC didn't want to have to do a 600mile round trip just to inform me of that.

Can anyone confirm my assumption?

[Rights Fighter]

Nobody can confirm your assumption as we don't have access to the police investigator(s) or any paperwork. It could be what you suggest, but then other factors could be in play too.

All you can do is to keep on keeping on.