few questions about the trial....

[karmaiscoming]

Just a few questions please for people that have been through all this already. My mind is doing over time on over thinking this week!

My husband has to watch the video with his solicitor of the interview his FA had with the police after she reported him. Will this be shown in court? Will any of it be used as evidence for him?

(I don't go to meetings he has with his defence team usually as they feel my husband will not speak openly with me there so I often rely on him relaying information back to me from them)

When the jury are deciding on their verdict where will my husband be? Will he be waiting with me through that time?

Although we have 4 months until the trial as I said my mind has been on over drive this week thinking of all the tiny details that I am not aware of.

Any answers to these questions will be very much appreciated.

[Rights Fighter]

Just a few questions please for people that have been through all this already. My mind is doing over time on over thinking this week!

My husband has to watch the video with his solicitor of the interview his FA had with the police after she reported him. Will this be shown in court? Will any of it be used as evidence for him?


Usually the DVD is shown to the jury (also so the complainant can "refresh her memory" as she will watch it at the same time). Sometimes it is edited to remove irrelevant stuff. Any evidence that changes while being cross-examined she will be challenged on.


(I don't go to meetings he has with his defence team usually as they feel my husband will not speak openly with me there so I often rely on him relaying information back to me from them)

When the jury are deciding on their verdict where will my husband be? Will he be waiting with me through that time?


While they are deliberating the court room is cleared. You can be with him, in the cafe, off for lunch (will need bail to be checked so he can either leave the building or bailed to the confines of the court). If they cannot come to a verdict that day then court finishes and it's back around 10am or 10.30am - jury in then sent out again. Same as before.



Although we have 4 months until the trial as I said my mind has been on over drive this week thinking of all the tiny details that I am not aware of.

Any answers to these questions will be very much appreciated.

[frightened spouse]

Hi Karma is coming

The video evidence is shown at the beginning of the trial , everyone in court views it. Then the accuser is questioned by the prosecution and defence following this ( if she has requested special measures this will be by video link or behind a screen.)Then prosecution witnesses take the stand . Following this the defendant is questioned by prosecution and defence. Defence witnesses are then called. Following this the prosecution sums up their case, followed by the defence. The judge then sums up and the jury are sent out.

This is a basic outline of a trial, I'm not sure whether your husband will be able to wait with you when the jury are out, I have known circumstances where during the lunch break the defendant had to eat his meal in the court cells. I would imagine this was so he did not bump into the accuser in the court cafeteria.

It can be a very intimidating experience, having friends and family that can attend with you for support can make a huge difference. Being in close proximity to the accusers family and friends in the public gallery is not a pleasant experience. It is very hard to go to court after the months and sometimes years of pressure preceding the court case, but this is your husband's chance to fight his corner. Stay strong and hold your heads high.

Best wishes

FS

[karmaiscoming]

Thank you for your replies FS and RF. Really appreciate just knowing these small bits of information just to try and cope a bit more.

We have been told already she will be appearing via video link (coward!). I suppose that means that my husband can be with me whilst the jury make their decision. I know it's terrible to think the worst and be negative and let her win and everything else that goes with it but sometimes I have no more in me to fight and sometimes I can't help think those could be the last hours I have with my husband if they make the wrong decision. It breaks my heart.

[YearsOfHell]

Thank you for your replies FS and RF. Really appreciate just knowing these small bits of information just to try and cope a bit more.

We have been told already she will be appearing via video link (coward!). I suppose that means that my husband can be with me whilst the jury make their decision. I know it's terrible to think the worst and be negative and let her win and everything else that goes with it but sometimes I have no more in me to fight and sometimes I can't help think those could be the last hours I have with my husband if they make the wrong decision. It breaks my heart.

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this awful procedure.
By all accounts you're in for a emotional roller coaster ride like you've never known in your life.
I am praying that my husbands case will be dropped but I know that I very easily could be walking in your shoes in the very near future and it scares the hell out of me.
I wish I could offer some words of comfort, that it's all going to be fine and justice will prevail!
The only thing you can do is think of this as an opportunity to get your side of the story heard.
Stay strong, and don't give up. You've got more fight in you than you know.
We will all be with you all the way!
Good luck

[karmaiscoming]

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this awful procedure.
By all accounts you're in for a emotional roller coaster ride like you've never known in your life.
I am praying that my husbands case will be dropped but I know that I very easily could be walking in your shoes in the very near future and it scares the hell out of me.
I wish I could offer some words of comfort, that it's all going to be fine and justice will prevail!
The only thing you can do is think of this as an opportunity to get your side of the story heard.
Stay strong, and don't give up. You've got more fight in you than you know.
We will all be with you all the way!
Good luck

Thank you so much for your kind word YOH. I'm sure you know how it feels when you wake up and feel you can take on the world and other days you wake up and think I can't do this anymore. The stress of the uncertainty of the future just gets too much sometimes.

There are days when I think past the trial and how life could be glorious and free and then there are days when I feel my life will end at the trial.

We argue so much sometimes, he can really be horrible to me when he's upset but I guess it's all part of the process. He told me today I would not be the one who will lose everything, my home my job my security in this country, etc. I can't believe he can think like that - he is my everything!

I hope your husbands case will be dropped, it is so difficult just waiting for the trial. Sometimes I plan nice things to do like days out for us and I think will this be the last time we do this for x amount of years. I can't believe this is the law and this is the country we live in now. Am I crazy to think women have too many rights?! Is that even possible?

This forum helps me so much, just reading what other people go through and knowing I'm not alone in this is a breath of fresh air.

I pray you're nightmare will end one day for you and your husband.

[AmandaF]

All I can say is make the most of now- really try not to argue . easier said than done I know. It was something me and mine never did, possibly because we didn't argue anyway and maybe because we were literally in it together. There are many times when I feel I can no longer face another day, but I work full time, have custody of my 11 year old grandson and my adult student daughter depending on me. I spent my day off making the 570 mile round trip to see my other half for 2 hours. We were together in the dock during the trial and after my case was dropped we saw each other during breaks in proceedings and I sat with him waiting for the verdict. I think the one thing we can all say is that your lives will change forever- what you do with that change depends on how we all fare during all this. I hope it all works out well

[karmaiscoming]

All I can say is make the most of now- really try not to argue . easier said than done I know. It was something me and mine never did, possibly because we didn't argue anyway and maybe because we were literally in it together. There are many times when I feel I can no longer face another day, but I work full time, have custody of my 11 year old grandson and my adult student daughter depending on me. I spent my day off making the 570 mile round trip to see my other half for 2 hours. We were together in the dock during the trial and after my case was dropped we saw each other during breaks in proceedings and I sat with him waiting for the verdict. I think the one thing we can all say is that your lives will change forever- what you do with that change depends on how we all fare during all this. I hope it all works out well

I have asked my husband to try and speak to me a bit more openly when he feels this gets a bit much for him, instead of everything bubbling inside hin and leading to a massive argument. I hope he will open up a bit more, he is always a bit reserved to speak about it as he blames himself for dragging me through this and turning our lives upside down.

Keeping busy helps, sounds like you had a lot going on AF, some days when I feel really down he tells me to take some time off work but I always tell him I'm better at work, gives me something else to think about instead.

I know eventually we will get through this and make it out the other side. I will just try and remember that his anger is not to me.

[AmandaF]

I initially took time off work as I had child care issues amongst others but my colleagues and managers were brilliant. It just about finished me off when I had to eventually leave my job and return to my native county but again despite a dodgy DBS disclosure I managed to get another NHS post and love it!! It does help having a distraction. My man also feels very guilty about the disruption to my life and told me at one point to go away and get on with my future. But I can't do that- he is my future. One way or another you will get through

[Rights Fighter]

Keep reminding him that this is NOT his fault. He did not put a gun to the accuser's head and tell her to make up such massive lies.

(((HUGS)))

[karmaiscoming]

I initially took time off work as I had child care issues amongst others but my colleagues and managers were brilliant. It just about finished me off when I had to eventually leave my job and return to my native county but again despite a dodgy DBS disclosure I managed to get another NHS post and love it!! It does help having a distraction. My man also feels very guilty about the disruption to my life and told me at one point to go away and get on with my future. But I can't do that- he is my future. One way or another you will get through

I am so lucky at work to have such a good support network. My manager and AM know what's going on and around the times we have court and things coming up and I start to act a bit crazy they calm me down and find ways to change the rota to suit me. I am forever great full for them both.

My husband is the same, he tells me to leave and enjoy myself, he tells me that he's offering me a way out of all this and I should take it. I will never walk away from him and I make that clear whenever he says it.

So good that you got yourself back on your feet with work, that's brilliant to hear that life can be somewhat normal still.

[karmaiscoming]

Keep reminding him that this is NOT his fault. He did not put a gun to the accuser's head and tell her to make up such massive lies.

(((HUGS)))

Agreed.

When he says sorry to me I always say 'you can't say sorry for something you didn't do'.