Our world is upside down

[Megane2015]

I'll tell you what Megane, YoH, Amanda F. Women like you make me proud to call you forum friends. I take my hat off to you all and any others standing by your men.

Thanks Amanda F I'm so glad to have found this forum. My husband is a good man just worked hard for his family and even through the 2 years on bail prior to the trial he carried on working and his employers are standing by U.S. As they know he's innocent too, they are helping me with the appeal as well. I'm just hoping we can appeal. Fingers crossed. It's a good day today as I see my husband so hopefully no panic attacks today. Does anyone else suffer these as I never did until all this happened and they are quite scary. Well must get ready as long drive ahead today. Thanks again

[heartbreaking]

what investigation takes two years only to be locked up!! I've litrally resigned to the thought that my partner will be se t to prison because this king anything else isn't worth getting my hopes up for this whole system is ****. I feel if the rape for a claim was demolished My partner wouldn't even be accessed. instead our works in limbo

[Megane2015]

what investigation takes two years only to be locked up!! I've litrally resigned to the thought that my partner will be se t to prison because this king anything else isn't worth getting my hopes up for this whole system is ****. I feel if the rape for a claim was demolished My partner wouldn't even be accessed. instead our works in limbo

I really feel for you but please don't give up hope. I still have hope even though my husband is in prison at the moment. We were told if this happened only 2 - 3 years ago he wouldn't have been charged let alone locked up. I have good days and bad days but I feel proud of myself that I have come this far in a short space of time. I can get through some days with no tears, every letter I get still has me sobbing but I have surprised myself how strong us Women can be. And I repeat what Amanda F said that she was proud to have us all as forum friends. Right I'm off now for my long drive for my very much waited for visit to my husband. Take care and keep strong

[heartbreaking]

On what grounds have they put him in prison. I feel like our lives are over already. I feel like it makes no difference what he does he's going to be taken away forever. He's my everything

[AmandaF]

Jittery- Thanks for that but i did not stand idly by and accept my other half's innocence. I questioned every aspect our lives together, whether I had missed any signs that something wasn't right. We have had custody of my grandson since he was 2 so I had a moral responsibility to look at all the "evidence" and after much soul searching and questioning the only conclusion I could reach was that there was no case to answer. However I was written off as "In denial" by the ss, child protection officers, police in general which made it very easy for them to bring charges against me, for which I too was facing 5 years in custody had I been found guilty.
Heartbreaking - I have tried to avoid putting on this thread that my man was charged and found guilty.as I didn't want to make you feel any worse. However, be prepared for the worst- it doesn't mean it will happen!!
Megane2015- it was jittery who put the comment about friends but I echo what he has said. I too suffered from panic attacks but this was mainly after I had been locked up for a few hours in a dingy Victorian nick. I am severely claustrophobic and after about an hour (I think) I was climbing the walls (literally) begging to be let out. I was sick, wet myself, had a pulse rate of what felt like over 200 bpm.(as a nurse I know that's not good)!! The guards reaction? Brought me a paper cup of water. On release, a social worker came to pick me up and tried to take me to A and E, her first comment being "What have they done to you in there"? After that I was counselled for post traumatic stress. But hey- I'm still standing and living a relatively normal life. What choice do we have?
Jittery- if more women were like us, there'd be fewer men in your predicament as we have a measure of integrity.
Anyway- I'm sticking my neck out here. I'm in south Yorkshire so if anyone would like to meet up I'm willing to travel a 100 mile radius or so.

[Rights Fighter]

Ye gods AmandaF that sounds awful. Have a wiggly hug


PAFAA had a northern meet not long ago. Maybe start a thread on there to arrange another one!

[AmandaF]

I could write a book!! Will get on to PAFAA and have a look.
Thanks as always RF

[Megane2015]

My husband was found guilty only because the jury believed her over him. There was no evidence and they made me sound like a cold hearted mother who would do anything for her husband. I'm no mug if I thought he had done these things I would not have stood by him. She told lie after lie but was able to have her whole sordid take said out but my husband and I were only allowed to say a snippy and then we were shut up by the judge and even our own barrister. I'm sitting in the waiting room now to go to see him so only 2 hours to go.
I would be up for any campaigns if we could just bring things to light. I do work full time and gave 2 boys etc but I'm doing it for them as well.

[AmandaF]

Similar story here Megane except it was kids who accused us so that was even more emotive for the jury to deal with in post-Jimmy Saville paedo-geddon. I think we need some kind of co-ordinated effort here to bring our cases into the public domain. I'm working on it, but will take me a while. I think this is one of the consequences of our ordeal- it takes me so long to begin to function and my memories terrible! All down to stress I imagine

[Megane2015]

Similar story here Megane except it was kids who accused us so that was even more emotive for the jury to deal with in post-Jimmy Saville paedo-geddon. I think we need some kind of co-ordinated effort here to bring our cases into the public domain. I'm working on it, but will take me a while. I think this is one of the consequences of our ordeal- it takes me so long to begin to function and my memories terrible! All down to stress I imagine

I'm definitely interested in doing what I can. I know how you feel as my memory is awful and I have some health issues as well. I feel like if I crumble I have let my kids and husband down but it is very hard. Stress is awful and I just hope in time the justice system will take a long hard look at these cases and think a young girl very clever as well says something to get money but because she is a good story teller she seems believable whereas my husband is a family man hard working and can't defend himself because all he can say is it didn't happen 10 years plus ago maybe she is lying. We'll I can hope I suppose but that's all I've got at the moment so onwards I go. Thanks again for the support from this site I wish I had found it while we were going through the bail and trial.

[AmandaF]

Yes I came across the site after conviction more's the pity. As I keep saying - how can you defend something that never happened in the first place? Safe journey back

[Rights Fighter]

Rf you should be declared a National Treasure. Hope to follow in your footsteps one day..........how many years till I retire??? Not too many........

I'm old enough to be!

[jittery]

hi

I'm definitely interested in doing what I can. I know how you feel as my memory is awful and I have some health issues as well. I feel like if I crumble I have let my kids and husband down but it is very hard. Stress is awful and I just hope in time the justice system will take a long hard look at these cases and think a young girl very clever as well says something to get money but because she is a good story teller she seems believable whereas my husband is a family man hard working and can't defend himself because all he can say is it didn't happen 10 years plus ago maybe she is lying. We'll I can hope I suppose but that's all I've got at the moment so onwards I go. Thanks again for the support from this site I wish I had found it while we were going through the bail and trial.

Well, myself and Amanda are pming a lot, sure we'll get somewhere eventually, we'll see about making it more open. Keep watching!

[jittery]

qualiry!

Jittery- Thanks for that but i did not stand idly by and accept my other half's innocence. I questioned every aspect our lives together, whether I had missed any signs that something wasn't right. We have had custody of my grandson since he was 2 so I had a moral responsibility to look at all the "evidence" and after much soul searching and questioning the only conclusion I could reach was that there was no case to answer. However I was written off as "In denial" by the ss, child protection officers, police in general which made it very easy for them to bring charges against me, for which I too was facing 5 years in custody had I been found guilty.
Heartbreaking - I have tried to avoid putting on this thread that my man was charged and found guilty.as I didn't want to make you feel any worse. However, be prepared for the worst- it doesn't mean it will happen!!
Megane2015- it was jittery who put the comment about friends but I echo what he has said. I too suffered from panic attacks but this was mainly after I had been locked up for a few hours in a dingy Victorian nick. I am severely claustrophobic and after about an hour (I think) I was climbing the walls (literally) begging to be let out. I was sick, wet myself, had a pulse rate of what felt like over 200 bpm.(as a nurse I know that's not good)!! The guards reaction? Brought me a paper cup of water. On release, a social worker came to pick me up and tried to take me to A and E, her first comment being "What have they done to you in there"? After that I was counselled for post traumatic stress. But hey- I'm still standing and living a relatively normal life. What choice do we have?
Jittery- if more women were like us, there'd be fewer men in your predicament as we have a measure of integrity.
Anyway- I'm sticking my neck out here. I'm in south Yorkshire so if anyone would like to meet up I'm willing to travel a 100 mile radius or so.

Great post AF, but I thought you knew: all charges against me were dropped last month. I have to say that I was treated very well by the police and I stand by that, mind you I'm guessing, but it is only a guess that the woman who accused me is a serial accuser; they may have been thinking "here we go again",
I live in the west midlands, but south yorkshire's fine with me so long as I get petrol money

What you say is right about women with integrity. You all have a great deal of that :bigsmile

[heartbreaking]

Well I just hope our story is one of the few with a happy ending. Because right now hope is all wee have.