Our world is upside down

[heartbreaking]

10 days ago my partner was accused of historIc child abuse.He went in for a question as asked by the police. Only to be told they would investigate further.investigate what??? The last 26 years??? .... that's it no bail no arrest. He's not allowed in to my house or see my children.
NOTHING our lives have been stripped from us. He has seen a Solicitor and many people have said the fact he hasn't been arrested is because they haven't got evidence or he said something that has made the police question the accusations. Can anyone shine a light on time scales? Why there's been no arrest? What happens next

[Rights Fighter]

The police don't need evidence in order to arrest a person. A mere allegation is enough.

It depends on what the complainant has said as to what their 'investigation; will entail. For instance if he/she claimed that she told her GP at the time, and other people, they would or should investigate all of that.

Some people are "invited" to an interview and others are arrested. Arrest is usually "to effect a prompt and effective investigation". If there is a chance, for instance that the accused would know where the complainant live, and her/his witnesses/family, there would be an arrest and bail with conditions (or not!) Different police forces follow their own rules much of the time.

I know somebody who was never arrested or bailed and it took the police/CPS nearly two years to NFA her.

[heartbreaking]

Two years!!! What on earth takes two years to investigate. so as blunt as it is all lives involved are on hold until further notice

[Casehardened]

It may well be that the spotlight on excessive lengths of time spent on bail have prompted the police to only arrest and bail where it is strictly necessary; it seldom is in historic cases are as there will not be any physical evidence.

However if there are no bail conditions I wonder how they can enforce the access conditions for your partner, or was it Social Services (who are a law unto themselves!) who have stipulated this?

[heartbreaking]

Social services. Which I'm now fighting as they rocked up Threatened my kids would be taken from me and made me sign this agreement. They are now looking into the 'risk'.
Today has been tough. I keep filling up with tears then choking them back down. I've already lost faith in this world.
I feel like my head will explode if I read anymore horror stories.

[Genuine]

Social services - uncool !!

Social services. Which I'm now fighting as they rocked up Threatened my kids would be taken from me and made me sign this agreement. They are now looking into the 'risk'.
Today has been tough. I keep filling up with tears then choking them back down. I've already lost faith in this world.
I feel like my head will explode if I read anymore horror stories.

Hi
Really sorry to hear what your going through. No bail conditions were set on my partners arrest . That being said the ss didnt waste time to interfere. They did core assessments ( which is 35 days of the child life - immunisations , weight, preschool, school exams - basically everything) they found nothing. However they backed me into a corner to sign something to say he couldn't see his children unless supervised by myself . I was made to sign it otherwise they would look at taking them away. It was only when the social worker left that the new social worker told me that my kids arent even on the first step of the risk ladder and couldn't understand why they did a core assesment. She advised me to get a letter from my solicitor to stipulate that no conditions have been set therefore my partner can stay with us.

[can it get worse]

Social Services in our experience are merely following their procedures which have arisen due to past failures. However this does not help you in your current hell.

They need to ensure that you, as their mother, would protect them from any risk. Unfortunately, due to their workload and robotic approach to cases - they dwell on their bureaucracy instead of actually safeguarding where it is most needed.

This initial period can be overwhelming and the 'not knowing' is hell.

There are plenty of people on here who can identify with this.

Please try to stay strong for the sake of your children. This is not pleasant in any way but you have no option to get thru' each day.

I hated every second of our experience, especially the Social Services aspect. But somehow I managed to put on a brave face for our children.. And now we have come out of the other and they are untouched by the experience.

Welcome to this forum - you will find much support on here. It is truly a life line and such a disaster that there are so many families affected by the false accusation.

Take care - my thoughts are with you

[heartbreaking]

I just feel so alone. I feel like the world is totally against us. we wreck our brains to what else can be investigated. Our solicitor said my partner must of said something which totally mixed up the statements they already had. It's just empty dead time because there's nothing anyone can do.

[AmandaF]

So sorry you find yourself in the position where you had join this forum- these allegations are absolutely devastating for all concerned. However, as you will see you are not alone and we can all identify with the tumult of emotions you will experience. Just try and take one day at a time - not easy I know but it's the only way to survive. I said to a family member that I felt as though I had made too many wrong decisions, to which she replied that I had reacted to each crisis as it happened. It's no way to live, but it's the only way to survive. I hope you have good news soon and your ordeal is over quickly

[YearsOfHell]

Am I lucky???!??

I suppose I'm quite lucky in that my hubby is still living with us. That's despite the FAs father determined to have us both branded paedophiles!
She claims this happened when she was 16, so it's a close call, but so far were still a family!
It's still devastating that someone can lie through their teeth and cause such trouble to all involved.
One of our children had a medical condition and the trouble we have had from members of the FAs family has exacerbated the symptoms.
I wish I could shake them and get through to them!
Stay strong, it's an uphill battle but it can be won.
We're all here for you, vent, shout, scream, whatever you need.
Best wishes to you and your family.

[heartbreaking]

We jut feel lost. there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We are at the very bottom Of the mountain we have yet to climb!!
I look for answers on he Internet and ask my partner questions. I've googled the cps website a million times.
I'm starting to see the scale and time required to fight this.
my mind spins all of he time

[YearsOfHell]

We jut feel lost. there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We are at the very bottom Of the mountain we have yet to climb!!
I look for answers on he Internet and ask my partner questions. I've googled the cps website a million times.
I'm starting to see the scale and time required to fight this.
my mind spins all of he time

I've done that too! I was desperately trying to find answers when I really didn't know what the questions were! Nothing satisfies because we simply just don't know what will happen.
I wanted to find a case exactly like ours and read the outcome! But I know that's not going to happen.
It takes a while and you have to be patient with yourself.
It does get easier. Try and accept the situation and make the best of it.
Try not to drive yourself mad reading things on the Internet, it really doesn't help. Take some time to get perspective. Enjoy small things, sunshine, days out, ice cream! Anything that takes you away from this hell! The roller coaster you're on right now will slow down a bit for a while.
Whatever happens you will get through it!
There is light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it yet. You will see it one day, however long it takes.
I found it really helpful to make a timeline of memorable events from all those years ago.
It keeps you busy and focussed and you recall things that you've forgotten. You may need that information in the future if it leads to court. But don't get bogged down with that, give yourselves time away from it. It's ok not to think about it.
Be strong, you will get through this!

[AmandaF]

But you will begin your ascent and it may seem like an endless uphill struggle. Personally I wouldn't advise trawling the internet for answers as it can just add to despair and bewilderment- I did it for a while but as every case is unique to a certain extent it just causes more strife. You will find lots of support and advice on here and it will be sympathetic as the CPS aren't!! If you have questions, ask them here - there will be someone who can point you in the right direction. Sometimes I feel it's harder for the non- accused partner as we are left to support everybody else and try and keep ourselves sane.

[jittery]

hi

We jut feel lost. there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We are at the very bottom Of the mountain we have yet to climb!!
I look for answers on he Internet and ask my partner questions. I've googled the cps website a million times.
I'm starting to see the scale and time required to fight this.
my mind spins all of he time

Think we've all been there. Don't look on the net, I just made myself feel worse.

Wish I could help, I found the belief in my innocence the strongest weapon to fight with, but I tried to brace myself in case the worst happened. While the investigation takes place all you can do is to wait and try to carry on as best you can.

Stay strong, hoping for the best for you.

[heartbreaking]

Thank you for your words of strength. I just can't settle. Im living on my nerves. My partner has also has a full breakdown from the stress. it's just useless I feel useless. I just hang onto the fact no charges have been brought to him. ....yet