False sexual assault claim

[Forgive&Forget]

Good morning.

I'm going through the mill a bit at the moment.

I have been in a relationship for the last 7 months with quite an abusive and crazy woman. Her family have a history of mental illnesses.

She is a very angry person and spiteful. She accused me back in March of assault which I was on bail for. Apparently I closed her leg in the door when I went to the bathroom. I videoed myself in the bathroom with her feffing and blinding behind the door then you hear a sudden smash. I go out and the tv is all over the floor and she walks in with cuts all over her arms.

I was arrested on suspicion of assault.

During my bail she said she was dropping the charges and that she wanted to be with me and that she went into the station to give a retraction statement. Unfortunately I succumbed and we started seeing each other again.

Then one night, we fell out (weren't together physically I was at mine and she was at hers) and she called the police saying I had broken my bail and was harrassing her although she told me different saying she called the police because she was worried about me.

The police told me not to contact again and that as it was the end of my bail they were extending it again for another two weeks.

As soon as I got home from the station she called me as we were together and she asked me to pick her up. For a week we were doing what we usually did as I recently moved into a new place which she was a part off. Seeing the family doing normal couple things.

Anyway a couple of saturdays ago I went out and she met up with me. We went back to ours where she accused me of cheating again and casually called the police saying I had broken my bail again and where I lived. At this point I went downstairs into the kitchen panicking, she came down and we were arguing when she decided to throw a kettle at me and then picked up a knife. I wrestled the knife of her and pushed her away where she then went at me with a bottle in which I pushed her away again.

I was in custody for the whole day arrested on suspicion of ABH. Then when I was interviewed, they had to re arrest me for another offence. This time sexual assault.

She claimed I bit her neck and lip and was touching her boobs and tried to spread her legs and saying I wanted to rape her.

The next day when I got home from the station there were messages on my FB saying that "she wants to be in bed with me, but she hates me".

A also had voicemails from the 2nd of April where she claimed she hated me and was going to "take me for everything i've got" and that she would "make me suffer" which I didn't pick up until after this event. I was saving these but they've disappeared of my phone. I called the police straight away about these messages but nobody came to pick them us. They were so damning and when I found out they had gone I cried my eyes out.

I think she claimed that we weren't together in the police interview which is a lie. I have CCTV images from my house which show us quite happy and in no duress being with me.

The questions I need to ask are ...

1) If I received a message from her saying that she just wants to be in bed with me, does this not indicate that even if something had happened, there would be consent??
2) If she had lied about us seeing each other and being in a relationship, with the evidence assumed would this dispel her claims as it was an obvious lie?
3) Is the negligence by the police for failing to obtain important evidence when I had called them numerous times?
4) My phone was also taken from the home. I was in custody so it wasn't me and it had a recording of her casually calling the police lying on the bed. They tried to find this but with no luck. This is crucial surely?
5) The voicemails - they are lost but many people heard them within my family and friends, can they still give evidence on what they heard?
6) If she's found to have some sort of depression/mental illness will this discredit her allegations as she has had counselling and I had even offered to pay to help her some more.
7) I have messages on my phone from the past where she has indicated she wants doing what she's subsequently accused me off. Will this help?

She also kept telling me she was pregnant and that she had an abortion during our time together as the baby wasn't growing. She then claimed she was pregnant again when we were back together when I was on bail. Can I obtain her medical records?

Also during bail I had to rush her to A&E after a suspectant overdose. I wasn't with her at the time but the establishment she was in wouldn't call an ambulance. Would this have any bearing on anything?

Sorry for the long thread. Just a bit worried as I genuinely loved her and I feel like i've been screwed over as after 5 days she was back with her ex boyfriend.

I have forgiven her, it's harder to hate somebody and I do still deep down love her but I need to clear my name and right now that's all im focused on. Not getting revenge.

Any help would be great.

Kind Regards

[Rights Fighter]

The police told me not to contact again and that as it was the end of my bail they were extending it again for another two weeks.

As soon as I got home from the station she called me as we were together and she asked me to pick her up. For a week we were doing what we usually did as I recently moved into a new place which she was a part off. Seeing the family doing normal couple things.

So why break the terms of your bail and continue to see her? Have I missed something here?

[frightened spouse]

The questions I need to ask are ...

1) If I received a message from her saying that she just wants to be in bed with me, does this not indicate that even if something had happened, there would be consent??
2) If she had lied about us seeing each other and being in a relationship, with the evidence assumed would this dispel her claims as it was an obvious lie?
3) Is the negligence by the police for failing to obtain important evidence when I had called them numerous times?
4) My phone was also taken from the home. I was in custody so it wasn't me and it had a recording of her casually calling the police lying on the bed. They tried to find this but with no luck. This is crucial surely?
5) The voicemails - they are lost but many people heard them within my family and friends, can they still give evidence on what they heard?
6) If she's found to have some sort of depression/mental illness will this discredit her allegations as she has had counselling and I had even offered to pay to help her some more.
7) I have messages on my phone from the past where she has indicated she wants doing what she's subsequently accused me off. Will this help?

She also kept telling me she was pregnant and that she had an abortion during our time together as the baby wasn't growing. She then claimed she was pregnant again when we were back together when I was on bail. Can I obtain her medical records?

Also during bail I had to rush her to A&E after a suspectant overdose. I wasn't with her at the time but the establishment she was in wouldn't call an ambulance. Would this have any bearing on anything?

Sorry for the long thread. Just a bit worried as I genuinely loved her and I feel like i've been screwed over as after 5 days she was back with her ex boyfriend.

I have forgiven her, it's harder to hate somebody and I do still deep down love her but I need to clear my name and right now that's all im focused on. Not getting revenge.

Any help would be great.

Kind Regards

Hi Sorry to hear about the turbulent time you have had recently. Your story is quite familiar to this forum, you must avoid contact with this lady at all costs, as she is obviously very volatile.

In terms of the phone contact/ social media contact you have had with her during the relevant period this would be very useful if you were charged, however this will hopefully not happen. If you are charged your defence team would be able to apply to have this material recovered, there are also forensic specialists that can recover deleted items from a phone.

It may be useful to make a detailed time line list of incidents within your relationship and pinpoint approximately when these communications were sent/received to help the recovery process.

Regarding the medical records , they would only be made available if deemed relevant by a judge much further down the line, the police don't usually investigate factors which may undermine a prosecution unbelievable as it may sound. Trying to make police accountable for failure to investigate is like trying to nail jelly to a wall, so is probably best to use your energy building your defence in case you need it.

Best wishes

FS

[jittery]

Hi

Good morning.

I'm going through the mill a bit at the moment.

I have been in a relationship for the last 7 months with quite an abusive and crazy woman. Her family have a history of mental illnesses.

She is a very angry person and spiteful. She accused me back in March of assault which I was on bail for. Apparently I closed her leg in the door when I went to the bathroom. I videoed myself in the bathroom with her feffing and blinding behind the door then you hear a sudden smash. I go out and the tv is all over the floor and she walks in with cuts all over her arms.

I was arrested on suspicion of assault.

During my bail she said she was dropping the charges and that she wanted to be with me and that she went into the station to give a retraction statement. Unfortunately I succumbed and we started seeing each other again.

Then one night, we fell out (weren't together physically I was at mine and she was at hers) and she called the police saying I had broken my bail and was harrassing her although she told me different saying she called the police because she was worried about me.

The police told me not to contact again and that as it was the end of my bail they were extending it again for another two weeks.

As soon as I got home from the station she called me as we were together and she asked me to pick her up. For a week we were doing what we usually did as I recently moved into a new place which she was a part off. Seeing the family doing normal couple things.

Anyway a couple of saturdays ago I went out and she met up with me. We went back to ours where she accused me of cheating again and casually called the police saying I had broken my bail again and where I lived. At this point I went downstairs into the kitchen panicking, she came down and we were arguing when she decided to throw a kettle at me and then picked up a knife. I wrestled the knife of her and pushed her away where she then went at me with a bottle in which I pushed her away again.

I was in custody for the whole day arrested on suspicion of ABH. Then when I was interviewed, they had to re arrest me for another offence. This time sexual assault.

She claimed I bit her neck and lip and was touching her boobs and tried to spread her legs and saying I wanted to rape her.

The next day when I got home from the station there were messages on my FB saying that "she wants to be in bed with me, but she hates me".

A also had voicemails from the 2nd of April where she claimed she hated me and was going to "take me for everything i've got" and that she would "make me suffer" which I didn't pick up until after this event. I was saving these but they've disappeared of my phone. I called the police straight away about these messages but nobody came to pick them us. They were so damning and when I found out they had gone I cried my eyes out.

I think she claimed that we weren't together in the police interview which is a lie. I have CCTV images from my house which show us quite happy and in no duress being with me.

The questions I need to ask are ...

1) If I received a message from her saying that she just wants to be in bed with me, does this not indicate that even if something had happened, there would be consent??
2) If she had lied about us seeing each other and being in a relationship, with the evidence assumed would this dispel her claims as it was an obvious lie?
3) Is the negligence by the police for failing to obtain important evidence when I had called them numerous times?
4) My phone was also taken from the home. I was in custody so it wasn't me and it had a recording of her casually calling the police lying on the bed. They tried to find this but with no luck. This is crucial surely?
5) The voicemails - they are lost but many people heard them within my family and friends, can they still give evidence on what they heard?
6) If she's found to have some sort of depression/mental illness will this discredit her allegations as she has had counselling and I had even offered to pay to help her some more.
7) I have messages on my phone from the past where she has indicated she wants doing what she's subsequently accused me off. Will this help?

She also kept telling me she was pregnant and that she had an abortion during our time together as the baby wasn't growing. She then claimed she was pregnant again when we were back together when I was on bail. Can I obtain her medical records?

Also during bail I had to rush her to A&E after a suspectant overdose. I wasn't with her at the time but the establishment she was in wouldn't call an ambulance. Would this have any bearing on anything?

Sorry for the long thread. Just a bit worried as I genuinely loved her and I feel like i've been screwed over as after 5 days she was back with her ex boyfriend.

I have forgiven her, it's harder to hate somebody and I do still deep down love her but I need to clear my name and right now that's all im focused on. Not getting revenge.

Any help would be great.

Kind Regards

Sounds similar in a lot of ways to my case. Messages and texts are extremely valuable to weaken the accusations. I was told pretty much from the off that texts saying she (my fa) couldn't wait to see me again and telling me she loved me would mean they wouldn't take it any further. Mind, she is also a serial accuser.

There was a policeman on the forum for a short while: he advised to make the defence that my fa is clearly mentally unstable should the matter have gone further. From what you've said this shouldn't be hard.

It is difficult I know, I knew my fa 3 years ago as a friend and she was nothing like this, I can't help feeling sorry for her as something has obviously happened to her to affect the balance of her mind. I can't even be angry with her.

Here's hoping for a positive result for you! Stay strong!

[Forgive&Forget]

Hi Sorry to hear about the turbulent time you have had recently. Your story is quite familiar to this forum, you must avoid contact with this lady at all costs, as she is obviously very volatile.

Thank you for your reply. I have ended all contact and looking back I know I should have seen where this was heading but I was naive and this is something I do admit too.

In terms of the phone contact/ social media contact you have had with her during the relevant period this would be very useful if you were charged, however this will hopefully not happen. If you are charged your defence team would be able to apply to have this material recovered, there are also forensic specialists that can recover deleted items from a phone.

Can they recover voicemails? I was saving them for 7 days then when I came to take a recording they had gone. I kept saving them every day and it kept telling me these would be saved. I have complained to my operator but they weren't very helpful and said tough luck. We also communicated mainly of whatsapp. It states on their website that the messages are only stored on the device. My phone was taken from my home. Probably by her as I was in custody and the police couldn't find it when they went back.

It may be useful to make a detailed time line list of incidents within your relationship and pinpoint approximately when these communications were sent/received to help the recovery process.

I can remember the dates and times of the top of my head. April 2nd @ 4:23am and April 2nd @ 4:36am. These were on my work phone. I have ordered a new phone and hopefully my o2 account has others on there.

Regarding the medical records , they would only be made available if deemed relevant by a judge much further down the line, the police don't usually investigate factors which may undermine a prosecution unbelievable as it may sound. Trying to make police accountable for failure to investigate is like trying to nail jelly to a wall, so is probably best to use your energy building your defence in case you need it.

That's a shame, on the messages which have been lost on my voicemail she claimed that she was pregnant. She did send me a facebook message also with a positive pregnancy test picture a few weeks earlier On the day of the incident I asked her to take one just to make sure and it was negative.

Best wishes

FS

Thank you very much. Appreciated.

[Forgive&Forget]

Sounds similar in a lot of ways to my case. Messages and texts are extremely valuable to weaken the accusations. I was told pretty much from the off that texts saying she (my fa) couldn't wait to see me again and telling me she loved me would mean they wouldn't take it any further. Mind, she is also a serial accuser.

She just messaged me on the morning after the incident that she "just wanted to be in bed with me but that she hates me". Then I was told she accused me of sexual assault. The voicemails I had were so strong basically saying that she was going to take me for everything i've got, that she hates me that i'm a c*** that she'll make me see fire in my eyes and burning in hell and that she knew she has f*cked me over and that she was taking this to court because she hated me.

There was a policeman on the forum for a short while: he advised to make the defence that my fa is clearly mentally unstable should the matter have gone further. From what you've said this shouldn't be hard.

Do you think this is a route I could take. I'm hoping when I retrieve my other voicemails today on my personal phone there are still some crazy voicemails on there. With her counselling and family record is this something I could use. She's admitted to me she's had problems but I thought I could help her foolishly.

It is difficult I know, I knew my fa 3 years ago as a friend and she was nothing like this, I can't help feeling sorry for her as something has obviously happened to her to affect the balance of her mind. I can't even be angry with her.

Here's hoping for a positive result for you! Stay strong!

Thank you for your kind words. It's a very hard time as you well know.

I've lost a relationship which 95% of the time was the best thing ever, the 5% though could change my life forever and it's a scary thought and one I can't stop thinking about.

I've got a great family and friends who are supporting me and are helping me. They've heard the messages and couldn;t believe it as I hadn't told them about it, embarassment I guess.

They're getting the cctv images from home today showing us together throughout the past month. Hopefully this might help.

I have bail this weekend but meeting my solicitor tomorrow. I woke up today kicking myself over these lost voicemails. It might be fate I don't know but those would've explained everything.

There the reason my family and friends are still by my side.

That's why I worry now because they heard them and swayed their oppinion but the police and cps won't get too now. It's a massive kick in the teeth.

[bakedbeans]

Save everything and print hard copies too.

use a screenshot app on a phone and take photos of messages etc. Save them in an email and send it to yourself even if this goes away now you have covered yourself if she tries anything further down the line in a few years etc

did you say you have cctv? Keep all records if she turns up at your house record/film it on your phone if you have to talk to her through the door but never let her in again!

By the sound of it stay as far away as possible from this lady. Sorry if that sounds scary but i think we've all realised to cover our backs as no one else will!

[Forgive&Forget]

Save everything and print hard copies too.

use a screenshot app on a phone and take photos of messages etc. Save them in an email and send it to yourself even if this goes away now you have covered yourself if she tries anything further down the line in a few years etc

did you say you have cctv? Keep all records if she turns up at your house record/film it on your phone if you have to talk to her through the door but never let her in again!

By the sound of it stay as far away as possible from this lady. Sorry if that sounds scary but i think we've all realised to cover our backs as no one else will!

I have saved the voicemails where she has threatened me with court.

And the voicemail where she has said if I want to see the imaginary baby i'd have to go to court.

She's tried contacting me today by facebook. one message (just a thumbs up) and two missed calls. Will this help? Why would someone who's apparently been sexual assaulted contact that person unless it was a lie?? ummm.

I have cctv of her around my family's house. I believe she said in her interview that we had not been seeing each other.

I have got my phone records and up until the day, the last month alone there was over 300 phonecalls between us.

[Rights Fighter]

A thumbs up? I can image that in cross-examination! Why on earth would she send you that if you had raped her?! Screenshot the lot.

The 300 calls - how many were after the alleged rape and if any after were of a loving nature, do you have witnesses who might have heard your end of any such conversation (after the alleged assault)?

[Forgive&Forget]

A thumbs up? I can image that in cross-examination! Why on earth would she send you that if you had raped her?! Screenshot the lot.

The 300 calls - how many were after the alleged rape and if any after were of a loving nature, do you have witnesses who might have heard your end of any such conversation (after the alleged assault)?

The phone calls were up until the incident. I think she told the police we hadn't been seeing each other.

[frightened spouse]

HI

As RF has stated any contact after the alleged incident is particularly important but if the complainant has distorted the nature of your relationship and contact prior to the alleged incident this can also be useful.

My daughter claimed she had not had any contact with me for many weeks prior to making her false allegations to the police, however she actually phoned me the same day she reported to police and had, had phone contact on a daily basis for weeks prior to this. I believe that this lie is one of the reasons our case was dropped before trial.

Collate all information you have just in case it is needed.

[Forgive&Forget]

As RF has stated any contact after the alleged incident is particularly important but if the complainant has distorted the nature of your relationship and contact prior to the alleged incident this can also be useful.

My daughter claimed she had not had any contact with me for many weeks prior to making her false allegations to the police, however she actually phoned me the same day she reported to police and had, had phone contact on a daily basis for weeks prior to this. I believe that this lie is one of the reasons our case was dropped before trial.

Collate all information you have just in case it is needed.

Thankyou.

I have taken screen shots and my solicitor has informed me today that the police have taken the unprecedented step of analysing her phone too.

Obviously we have, like any relationship have disagreements on there and there were messages about how depressed I was as she was leading me on. Will those work against me? We had contact all the way up until the incident. Majority good. I don't know what she's got. There could be some very discriminating stuff on there against me. I'm very worried if i'm honest. I don;t have anything to defend myself with as my phone still hasn't been recovered (I believe she took it as I videoed the moment she calmy called the police for know reason after accusing me of cheating).

My bail has been extended for another two weeks.

I'm planning for the worst as i'm very nervous what material she has against me being depressed and suicidal as she was playing me and what she had from the night.

[frightened spouse]

I would be interested in what other members thoughts are regarding the fact the police are analysing her phone, it would suggest to me they have some concerns regarding her story and therefore could be a positive sign for you. All you can do is plan for the worst, but hope for the best and stay as balanced and positive as you can, easier said than done I know. Take Care

[Rights Fighter]

I suppose it depends on what she told them. We have no idea of course of that however, maybe she said he rang her and shouted at her? Or she said rang a friend after the alleged assault - or texted one?

There can be any reasons why the police would want to check her phone:

if they believe her then if she says she made certain calls/texts an examination would back that up.

if they do not believe her then calls/texts made to the OP or others might be interesting or important.

[Genuine]

Rights fighter

Sorry to be a pain RF - is there any way of pm ing you ?