Hi everybody I hope you don't mind my posting here, It's nearly been nine months and I still have not shared my story with anyone outside a handful of family members and friends. It's not a false rape accusation, but for uploading child porn to social media. I guess I just want to share my nightmare with people who may understand what I'm going through. I have changed a few details for identity protection, but if something important isn't clear, let me know.
I'm 29, living with my wife in Scotland, she's 28. We moved up here from England for a chance to study and travel. Last year in early July, we were woken at about 7am by really loud knocking at the door, I jumped out of bed dazed without a top to answer it sounded so urgent! There were two police officers and they asked who I was, and if they could come in. I asked why they can't talk at the door, and they said it's very urgent, and they have a warrant. I didn't know what to do, there should literraly be no reason for them to be at my door with a warrant. I quickly let them in, already shaking I sit down as they walk around my living room, I'm quickly told that I'm being arrested under suspicion of uploading an indecent image of a child to social media.
I simply could not believe what I was hearing. The rest was a sickening blur, where I was fighting to not pass out, right to remain silent etc, wanting to just be sick, what's happening I keep thinking? Eventually as they're taking a statement from me, and the other officer took my wife into the bedroom, they give me a date. It's late in 2013, I can't be certain of the day they say it supposedly happened right there, but I know for certain thats the week where I lost access to my account after nearly two weeks of being cyber attacked.
So lets back track, because back in 2013 I lost my social media account, and was never told why. Plus I could never get any communication from admins etc, by early 2014 I had just given up on it, figured some ******* had just stolen my account or deleted it, and I moved on. I had well over 1,000 accounts added, real life friends, friends I had met in a decade of travel and work, and some family. If something terrible had been uploaded to my account, then there were too many people who would have seen it, and got in touch with me through phone, email, or other social media we use. I heard literraly nothing until I have the police in my house!
Back in late 2013 I had tagged a bunch of friends in a picture of my some of my trophies and medals etc. Had a quote about trying to stay motivated through injuries etc and before long someone who looked like a dummy account (profile picture of pro wrestlers etc) started commenting, leaving things accusing me of being a low life, getting drunk and getting into fights in and out of clubs etc, now this couldn't be further from the truth, I don't drink, or go out, I got that out of my system when I was 18-20. And I'm fit enough and smart enough to run away from fights, so anyway no-one took them serious and joked about it, but the posts quickly became much more venomous. They started accusing me of online bullying (I run anti bully courses and have spoke in schools to many children about anti bullying topics from cultivating self worth, to standing up for others who needs our help, to even having empathy for the bully as they are likely a bully victim too), they start to claim they have evidence of it being me because they apparnetly have my IP address. But there's never any mention of what exactly was said, to whom, or even where, there were never any specifics, just someone being really aggressive to me!
I tried sending them a private message when it was getting out control, saying sorry if i offended them, but i didnt take them seriously! But that I realised they were passionate and for some reason have the wrong person. They never responded but continued to post and someone noticed a picture of me on holiday ended up on a forum somewhere with similar bad comments. This was quickly removed, I WISH I had saved it at the time but didnt think to. Anyway, the attacker never replied to me, so I blocked them. Shortly after I blocked them they started to post on the social media of my ex-workplace!
Thankfully I have an excellent reputation with everyone that has worked with me, and all of my ex clients. So no-one took them serious there, but it would all have been potentially damaging to both my reputation and to the business. Plus it was hurtful, it was stressful and kept going for several days! Eventually they were blocked from the business' pages etc, and that's when I stared having problems with my account. Normally I use social media a few times each day (depending on the platform), but this particular week I was visiting friends and family in England. When I go to check my messages and do some promotion for my business at the time, I can't get on. I get a feeling it's to do with the recent trolling, it had to be. I'm eventually able to get my account back and the next day I travel home. The following day is when something is supposed to have gone up on my account. What exactly I dont know, and I don't know how. Was it a video, a picture, was it public? was it in a pm? was it a link to something? Anyway I lost my account just before Christmas. A ****y time to be away from friends and family already with getting disconnected from most of them!
I never got my account back, and eventually just created a new one. But I lost years of pictures and video that I hadn't backed up anywhere else. I still don't have contact with some friends from my travels too, you try finding Muhammad when you have no mutual friends and you don't know where he is in the world. Anyway I didn't hear anything from then until I got arrested in 2014!
They took my computer, it has the hard drive in it that I was using at the date, but literaly the rest of it is new parts. I got a whole new computer in May that year. I was broke as **** from not working, and depressed from being injured, but I saved and saved and it was worth it. Video games are my second hobby after sports. You can imagine how I felt, we don't even have a TV, we've been doing this on a tight budget They took my wife's computer, she's in the fourth ****ing year, the last year of her uni course, all her resources just taken away. They took my camcorder, even though it has no data storage, it uses a small memory card, why cant they just take that? So anyway, they took all my electronics, my ability to skype my friends, to play video games and destress while i cant train (which i have done since aged 3...).
They took me to the station and I dont need to go into all the details but i didnt request a solicitor. I wish i did now, but i have no experience with this at all. I've never been arrested for anything. The most trouble ive had was paying council tax late due to forgetting! I was in the cell for hours. I hadn't eaten in days, as I'd already been quite ill. The night before they arrested me I didn't get to sleep until around 4am! The night before was about 5-6am being sick! I wasn't in a good way, I was having the worst possible nightmare happen to me. My whole career I've taught kids and adults, I LOVE teaching everyone. Sports gave me a way out of a ****ty life and sharing that really gave my life meaning. eventually they brought food, it didn't matter that I'm vegetarian... I got rice and some curry looking microwave meal, and tea. It was repulsive, I forced myself to eat some of the rice and drank a little tea but I just wanted to be sick. About ten minutes after bring me the food they came back to say it was time for my interview. I just wanted it over with, I really, really wish I'd had someone else in there with me. Itwas humiliating. I'm a reasonably tough guy, I'm well educated and level headed, but I was in no state to be in there alone. They went over the statement I gave earlier, then started asking if i wanted to **** kids, about 50 different ways they asked the same horrible thing. They said apparently they got the warrant because it was my social media account, and they apparently had my ip address. but the thing is, they didnt even know who my ISP was, so if that's true how could they possibly know it was my ip? It just means they had AN ip that was connected to my account at the time. But I was so out of it during the interview when they asked about the ip, I just said I don't know how that's possible, I can't explain it, but they kept asking! Like four of five times in a row, How is it your ip address!!? I nearly broke down in tears. Thank god that part was over shortly after that.
They told me they found nothing after searching our things, I knew they wouldnt find anything! But they then told me i can't have my stuff back as they need to do deeper checks, that's when it hit me hard. It wasn't over at all, they just couldn't keep ME any longer. I asked them wtf we were supposed to do, they seemed really ignorant to how much we use our computers day to day. My wife for uni and her photography hobby. Me for staying in touch with friends and family, video games and making video instructionals. We would watch DvDs with our computers, like i said, we dont even have a ****ing TV... The twats just said I should just get someone to give me a spare computer. I was speechless. I just sat there powerless, completely ****ed over. We had GOOD computers, neither of us have had a ton of cash, but we have never drived, we enjoy upgrading our computers, we had good components. People don't just have that sort of hardward laying around spare.
The next few days were unbearable. for about two weeks I struggle to really remember anything. I was obviously in shock still. For months I was hardly eating, I lost a lot of weight, too much. I've lost hard earned muscle and fitness. Sleeping is a nightmare if I'm not drugged up, and then if I am the next day I'm fatigued. Living in a constant state of anxiety, phone is now always turned off, I dread if it rings. Knocks at the doors, even post makes me nervous. I don't want to be like this, but it's horrible!
I wasn't even charged with anything, they just gave me back the stuff from my pockets and had left my wife with a god awful ****ing paphlet that is somehow supposed to give advice, yet reads as if you are a convicted pedophile. It's called "Still Reeling?" The first page opens up with something like "You may have known this day was coming for a long time." **** that, I'm a good guy, and this is exactly the kind of thing that could destroy everything I have worked for and all the sacrifices I've made over the past 15+ years. I asked them how long it would be, they just looked at each other, sort of sighed, and said after a pause, "... months, it will be months...". This was before their ****ty advice of just get a free pc from someone.
I've got slightly better over time, but I'm still stressed every day. eting properly is still a problem, as is sleeping. I've tried different medication and I see my gp as my health is suffering and has been, although I didnt go to see my gp until a couple months ago. I've got some councelling, without a doubt this is what has broken me down.
I got legal aid and they gave me some advice, which did put my mind to rest a little, but it's ok being told there's nothing to worry about, when they have already arrested me and taken all my things. I read about PACE and how evidence should be copied and the original returned, I brought this up to the police and they always ignore me, they haven't responded to one email yet. I asked my lawyer to bring it up, that they copy the data, and return our things, or that they simply keep the data storing components, USB drives, hard drives, and return the rest until they are finished with the data. But the laywer seems to have just said can I have my stuff back, the police said no we will be in touch with BigCalves when they are done. That was months ago. I've emailed since, but I get nothing.
If you have read this far, I commend you. There are only so many people I can talk to, I know I'm innocent but I feel like I'm already being punished. Thankfully I do have good friends, after a few months they put together a few spare parts, and we were able to buy the rest that was needed to make a spare pc. But it's nothing compared to either of our own computers. I used to run a decent website with pretty good video, now I can't edit on this as it crashed too much. The spec is simply too low. The hard drive is tiny. I can play a handful of old games, and I can stay in touch with people better, but it's a daily reminder that I'm being ****ed and have literally no idea how long it will take.
Thank you for reading, I don't mind questions, although I may not answer everything. I'd love any advice.
I'm 29, living with my wife in Scotland, she's 28. We moved up here from England for a chance to study and travel. Last year in early July, we were woken at about 7am by really loud knocking at the door, I jumped out of bed dazed without a top to answer it sounded so urgent! There were two police officers and they asked who I was, and if they could come in. I asked why they can't talk at the door, and they said it's very urgent, and they have a warrant. I didn't know what to do, there should literraly be no reason for them to be at my door with a warrant. I quickly let them in, already shaking I sit down as they walk around my living room, I'm quickly told that I'm being arrested under suspicion of uploading an indecent image of a child to social media.
I simply could not believe what I was hearing. The rest was a sickening blur, where I was fighting to not pass out, right to remain silent etc, wanting to just be sick, what's happening I keep thinking? Eventually as they're taking a statement from me, and the other officer took my wife into the bedroom, they give me a date. It's late in 2013, I can't be certain of the day they say it supposedly happened right there, but I know for certain thats the week where I lost access to my account after nearly two weeks of being cyber attacked.
So lets back track, because back in 2013 I lost my social media account, and was never told why. Plus I could never get any communication from admins etc, by early 2014 I had just given up on it, figured some ******* had just stolen my account or deleted it, and I moved on. I had well over 1,000 accounts added, real life friends, friends I had met in a decade of travel and work, and some family. If something terrible had been uploaded to my account, then there were too many people who would have seen it, and got in touch with me through phone, email, or other social media we use. I heard literraly nothing until I have the police in my house!
Back in late 2013 I had tagged a bunch of friends in a picture of my some of my trophies and medals etc. Had a quote about trying to stay motivated through injuries etc and before long someone who looked like a dummy account (profile picture of pro wrestlers etc) started commenting, leaving things accusing me of being a low life, getting drunk and getting into fights in and out of clubs etc, now this couldn't be further from the truth, I don't drink, or go out, I got that out of my system when I was 18-20. And I'm fit enough and smart enough to run away from fights, so anyway no-one took them serious and joked about it, but the posts quickly became much more venomous. They started accusing me of online bullying (I run anti bully courses and have spoke in schools to many children about anti bullying topics from cultivating self worth, to standing up for others who needs our help, to even having empathy for the bully as they are likely a bully victim too), they start to claim they have evidence of it being me because they apparnetly have my IP address. But there's never any mention of what exactly was said, to whom, or even where, there were never any specifics, just someone being really aggressive to me!
I tried sending them a private message when it was getting out control, saying sorry if i offended them, but i didnt take them seriously! But that I realised they were passionate and for some reason have the wrong person. They never responded but continued to post and someone noticed a picture of me on holiday ended up on a forum somewhere with similar bad comments. This was quickly removed, I WISH I had saved it at the time but didnt think to. Anyway, the attacker never replied to me, so I blocked them. Shortly after I blocked them they started to post on the social media of my ex-workplace!
Thankfully I have an excellent reputation with everyone that has worked with me, and all of my ex clients. So no-one took them serious there, but it would all have been potentially damaging to both my reputation and to the business. Plus it was hurtful, it was stressful and kept going for several days! Eventually they were blocked from the business' pages etc, and that's when I stared having problems with my account. Normally I use social media a few times each day (depending on the platform), but this particular week I was visiting friends and family in England. When I go to check my messages and do some promotion for my business at the time, I can't get on. I get a feeling it's to do with the recent trolling, it had to be. I'm eventually able to get my account back and the next day I travel home. The following day is when something is supposed to have gone up on my account. What exactly I dont know, and I don't know how. Was it a video, a picture, was it public? was it in a pm? was it a link to something? Anyway I lost my account just before Christmas. A ****y time to be away from friends and family already with getting disconnected from most of them!
I never got my account back, and eventually just created a new one. But I lost years of pictures and video that I hadn't backed up anywhere else. I still don't have contact with some friends from my travels too, you try finding Muhammad when you have no mutual friends and you don't know where he is in the world. Anyway I didn't hear anything from then until I got arrested in 2014!
They took my computer, it has the hard drive in it that I was using at the date, but literaly the rest of it is new parts. I got a whole new computer in May that year. I was broke as **** from not working, and depressed from being injured, but I saved and saved and it was worth it. Video games are my second hobby after sports. You can imagine how I felt, we don't even have a TV, we've been doing this on a tight budget They took my wife's computer, she's in the fourth ****ing year, the last year of her uni course, all her resources just taken away. They took my camcorder, even though it has no data storage, it uses a small memory card, why cant they just take that? So anyway, they took all my electronics, my ability to skype my friends, to play video games and destress while i cant train (which i have done since aged 3...).
They took me to the station and I dont need to go into all the details but i didnt request a solicitor. I wish i did now, but i have no experience with this at all. I've never been arrested for anything. The most trouble ive had was paying council tax late due to forgetting! I was in the cell for hours. I hadn't eaten in days, as I'd already been quite ill. The night before they arrested me I didn't get to sleep until around 4am! The night before was about 5-6am being sick! I wasn't in a good way, I was having the worst possible nightmare happen to me. My whole career I've taught kids and adults, I LOVE teaching everyone. Sports gave me a way out of a ****ty life and sharing that really gave my life meaning. eventually they brought food, it didn't matter that I'm vegetarian... I got rice and some curry looking microwave meal, and tea. It was repulsive, I forced myself to eat some of the rice and drank a little tea but I just wanted to be sick. About ten minutes after bring me the food they came back to say it was time for my interview. I just wanted it over with, I really, really wish I'd had someone else in there with me. Itwas humiliating. I'm a reasonably tough guy, I'm well educated and level headed, but I was in no state to be in there alone. They went over the statement I gave earlier, then started asking if i wanted to **** kids, about 50 different ways they asked the same horrible thing. They said apparently they got the warrant because it was my social media account, and they apparently had my ip address. but the thing is, they didnt even know who my ISP was, so if that's true how could they possibly know it was my ip? It just means they had AN ip that was connected to my account at the time. But I was so out of it during the interview when they asked about the ip, I just said I don't know how that's possible, I can't explain it, but they kept asking! Like four of five times in a row, How is it your ip address!!? I nearly broke down in tears. Thank god that part was over shortly after that.
They told me they found nothing after searching our things, I knew they wouldnt find anything! But they then told me i can't have my stuff back as they need to do deeper checks, that's when it hit me hard. It wasn't over at all, they just couldn't keep ME any longer. I asked them wtf we were supposed to do, they seemed really ignorant to how much we use our computers day to day. My wife for uni and her photography hobby. Me for staying in touch with friends and family, video games and making video instructionals. We would watch DvDs with our computers, like i said, we dont even have a ****ing TV... The twats just said I should just get someone to give me a spare computer. I was speechless. I just sat there powerless, completely ****ed over. We had GOOD computers, neither of us have had a ton of cash, but we have never drived, we enjoy upgrading our computers, we had good components. People don't just have that sort of hardward laying around spare.
The next few days were unbearable. for about two weeks I struggle to really remember anything. I was obviously in shock still. For months I was hardly eating, I lost a lot of weight, too much. I've lost hard earned muscle and fitness. Sleeping is a nightmare if I'm not drugged up, and then if I am the next day I'm fatigued. Living in a constant state of anxiety, phone is now always turned off, I dread if it rings. Knocks at the doors, even post makes me nervous. I don't want to be like this, but it's horrible!
I wasn't even charged with anything, they just gave me back the stuff from my pockets and had left my wife with a god awful ****ing paphlet that is somehow supposed to give advice, yet reads as if you are a convicted pedophile. It's called "Still Reeling?" The first page opens up with something like "You may have known this day was coming for a long time." **** that, I'm a good guy, and this is exactly the kind of thing that could destroy everything I have worked for and all the sacrifices I've made over the past 15+ years. I asked them how long it would be, they just looked at each other, sort of sighed, and said after a pause, "... months, it will be months...". This was before their ****ty advice of just get a free pc from someone.
I've got slightly better over time, but I'm still stressed every day. eting properly is still a problem, as is sleeping. I've tried different medication and I see my gp as my health is suffering and has been, although I didnt go to see my gp until a couple months ago. I've got some councelling, without a doubt this is what has broken me down.
I got legal aid and they gave me some advice, which did put my mind to rest a little, but it's ok being told there's nothing to worry about, when they have already arrested me and taken all my things. I read about PACE and how evidence should be copied and the original returned, I brought this up to the police and they always ignore me, they haven't responded to one email yet. I asked my lawyer to bring it up, that they copy the data, and return our things, or that they simply keep the data storing components, USB drives, hard drives, and return the rest until they are finished with the data. But the laywer seems to have just said can I have my stuff back, the police said no we will be in touch with BigCalves when they are done. That was months ago. I've emailed since, but I get nothing.
If you have read this far, I commend you. There are only so many people I can talk to, I know I'm innocent but I feel like I'm already being punished. Thankfully I do have good friends, after a few months they put together a few spare parts, and we were able to buy the rest that was needed to make a spare pc. But it's nothing compared to either of our own computers. I used to run a decent website with pretty good video, now I can't edit on this as it crashed too much. The spec is simply too low. The hard drive is tiny. I can play a handful of old games, and I can stay in touch with people better, but it's a daily reminder that I'm being ****ed and have literally no idea how long it will take.
Thank you for reading, I don't mind questions, although I may not answer everything. I'd love any advice.
Comment