My husband was accused. Feeling very down, it's tore us apart.

[confusedfamily]

I just don't know what to do. It's hurting like hell and even though I know he's innocent and nothing to worry about you still can't help but to be scared stiff!!!

This whole situation is awful and I know my husband is the one who's accused but I'm just as upset and scared and angry and everything else. Plus on top of that I've suffered with depression before and I'm also scared for my husbands safety. I know how down he gets and I'm terrified of losing him but he genuinely feels he's lost everything and his reputation will be tarnished forever.

It's his own cousin who's accused him and she would have been only 8 at the time so it's not just rape it's child abuse. I'm terrified social services are going to get involved as we've got two young children. It's horrible. I'm trying to stay strong
I've told him to tell his parents but he keeps putting it off. I know it's hard but they need to know and it sounds better coming from us rather than her or anyone else I just hate it all and he only had his first interview last week so I can't imagine it's getting better any time soon I feel so down and so lost and I can't talk to my husband as he feels just as bad if not worse and I'm meant to there for him...

[inhell]

Hi I'm sorry to hear what your going through I know only to well on what its like to be accused. My step daughter accused me of rape and sexual assault and I've been on bail 10 months every day is a struggle I had my kids taken from me I'm only aloud see them supervised.

I can only say don't tell the police anything and any information you might have that could help your case keep it well out the way of the police. Sadly you will quickly learn that the police are not our friends they only interested in meeting targets. Yeah I know its hard to believe but im sure many people on here will say the same. I told my parents after I was released from Station and my dad collapsed but there fighting it just like I am now. Don't expect this to be a quick process like I say I been on bail 10 months and my kids cry and I can't do thing about it.

Try get some councilling and explain to your doctor it has helped me. you will find some lovely people on here that will help and offer support there's a wealth of knowledge with some of the members. I wish you both best of luck and I hope the police pull there fingers out there ass and gives you your lives back. Keep chin up I know how hard it is and please if you feel your really struggling visit your doc and arrange some councilling. It helps unloading some anger etc.

[soulbug]

if you speak to your doctor about this and it has not yet been reported to the police, I believe a doctor might be obliged legally to tell the police.

I could be wrong, hopefully someone on the forum can clarify that point.

[Rights Fighter]

if you speak to your doctor about this and it has not yet been reported to the police, I believe a doctor might be obliged legally to tell the police.

I could be wrong, hopefully someone on the forum can clarify that point.

I think it's already been reported to the police as she mentioned an interview.

[confusedfamily]

Yes my husband has already had an interview and it's just taking it's toll on us both it really is the worst place to be. Myself and husband are going to book in as I was already on anti depressants last year so this whole thing isn't helping. My husband is okay sometimes but other times I'm scared for him. I can see how much it's destroying him and I don't want to lose him which I'm terrified I will I know it's killing him inside. I just can't see why anyone would do this to someone else...

We have a few months to wait now until it's resolves but it's just horrible. Thanks for your support and 'inhell I'm sorry to hear your situation. Sounds awful I'm praying to god we don't get a call from the social

[praying4asimplelife]

Hi Confusedfamily,

i am sorry to read your post, i am in a similar situation and as you say its hard to talk to your partner/husband because they are the accused and you cant even imagine to think about how they are feeling.

The waiting game is horrible especially not having anyone to talk to about the situation and it isnt something i personally know much about so you are just sat thinking of every possible outcome unfortunately.

My thoughts are with you and i prey that you have a successful outcome soon! So that you and your family can get back to living your life normally.

[edinguy]

Stay strong confusedfamily.

Your support to your husband will be invaluable at a time like this, it’s hard to talk about because so many bad and frightening thoughts are going through his mind no doubt but you just being there will bring him some comfort.

As mentioned above if you can see your GP to give some help in dealing with especially if you have had a history of depression then that would be a big help. I put it off for about a year and wish I didn’t but it’s easier to hide away I know.

Hope this is over as quick as possible and you both can get back to a little bit of normality.

[thisisinsane]

It is completely normal for both of you to be shocked even for weeks and everybidy deals with that differently. He is going to need you, and the further this goes the more he will cling on to you, his rock. Communicate as much as you can without forcing conversations and if it helps cry together and discuss your fears. Be honest with each other but gont get yourselves in a downward spiral. If youve been depressed before this is likely to either retrigger your depression or cause you to develop a new one. Dont hesitate to go to your gp and ask for a prescription and counseling, if you go together you might be able to go counseling together which can be very helpful.

[thisisinsane]

And if you ever feel a need to talk feel free to contact me. Other members have offered this to me and its helped me cope in my darkest hours.

[TheInnocentOne'sWife]

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. My fiance was accused last year, and he is facing trial in April. I have become so emotional and i can't help thinking what if it doesn't go the way we hope? There's only so much positive thinking a person can do. Your husband is only at the first interview, so if you need someone to talk to about what happens after that, feel free to message me.
These people who falsely accuse people of rape are cowards who just want to tear apart a family. His accuser was an ex girlfriend who got jealous, and decided she didn't want him to be happy.
Message me if you want to talk. I know I could definitely do with someone to talk to about this.