Wife false accuses me of rape

[Lifeintatters]

Me and my wife have had our ups and downs over our relationship but this is the worst. My wife had an accident a few years back that has kept her out of work and me too as her carer for depression. Recently though we've had a baby and my wife has got worse. Text book post natal depression and she has also informed my family she is bipolar. We recently ran into a housing issue and temporarily had to move into my in laws and this is where it got worse. Her dad is a superintendent officer and very controlling and forceful and her mum has had 40 years of depression and anxiety which made matters worse.

Me and my wife have been trying to resolve without any kind of resolution so I moved out and this is where it started. On the night I was moving out and asked for a separation I was all packed up ready to leave and spoke to my mother, who is a leading social worker, about joint custody and my wife flipped saying o was abusing her and stealing items from the home and called the police about it. My mother was on the phone the whole time so can say it didn't happen. Any false accusation 1 and when the police turned up they said it seemed like we just had a marital argument and she then retracted most of her accusations.

Now I've been gone for 3/4 weeks living. Apart and meeting from time to time to see my daughter and have been making plans for our future. Anyway on the 9th (only a few days ago) me and my wife decided to go out and have a night to just us to reconnect and get he early for me to see my daughter .. This is where the night started to get messy. Finished dinner on the way to get the train and my wife threw a hissy fit saying she wanted to stay out see friends and drink.. Fine didn't want an argument so said we'd get the next train... Alas my wife wanted to stay out after the next too and at around 3am got a hotel room. My wife was flirty and took her clothes off in front of me in the hotel and sure fire thought it was a go due to a few things she said. I Got in close to pull at her knees to give her pleasure with her sternly saying my name and then no... I was a bit distracted and angry as since we've had a baby our sex life was ****ty so I went to run a bath to have some time to myself.. Anyway my wife started accusing me of sleeping with a women I know in America and I made some harsh remarks about 'if I'm that much of a bad husband I might as well go sleep with blah and blah and whilst I'm at it throw naked pictures of you on the net' it's my go to phrase to piss her off... Anyway she started to hit me and I told her I couldn't deal with it anymore.

Got up and got changed to leave but has my camera around my neck and my wife started to yank it back and hit me round the face again so I pushed her. That's it. She got on the phone to my mother and sister explaining I pushed her but shea scared .. I'm not a violent person ever. Anyway I left and the conversations started to change.. Telling my mother hose she loves me and about our future plans and how she wants to have a family this was a couple hours after the event. Anyway like I said that night was my last resort and sent her and her parents separation papers and about me getting a lawyer to get custody of my daughter as she's not of sound mind.

I was then arrested for 1 count of attempted rape and 2 counts of rape.

My wife was not check my forensics or taken anywhere to be questioned. Neither was the hotel room.
She has said I pinned her down and tried to force myself on her but she managed to get me off but she also stated there was no sexually activity at all.

The other 2 counts were before we had the baby and before we got married and same idea... We argued id wake up and my wife would tell me I raped her but I was asleep and she couldn't get me off her or wake me up. I never believed it as I was still in all my pyjamas, there was no proof downstairs that I'd have sex and my wife wasn't sad or anything. Both happened after an argument. I still spoke to people about sexomnia and a few words with a doctor just to get my head on the situation but our lives didn't change.

I was arrested and given bail 10 hours after... I wasn't quiet and gave my fault view of the night and what happened and all about our sex life and troubles we are facing and also about my wife's mental stability right now. I also off my own back offered DNA, blood, swabs of my privates etc

The inspectors have said at the beginning that it could take 3 months to go anywhere. Anyway that got out down to 6 weeks bail by the chief inspector that was on duty (one of the highest officers there) My bail conditions are to not contact my wife and to talk to social services about seeing my daughter. My solicitor also believes that it would go to no further action but I'm freaking out. What if he's wrong? I'd never hurt my wife or my family but now after this I have no family

[Lifeintatters]

just found out shes rejected the interview about what happened and they will calling her again to see if shes changed her mind...

a new worry is that they will charge her too :/ its over and i know that BUT shes not in a mentally stable place right now and worried for her safety

[Casehardened]

Hi and welcome to the forum,

You will have noted from other members accounts that 'relationship rapes' seem to be coming more common as a way of punishing partners for real or imagined 'wrongs'; there is no justification for this but of course this doesn't help you as you are now in this very situation.

There is some general advice in this link:

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[Lifeintatters]

confusion.

Things have got a lot more complicated:

the few days after arrest I was informed that my wife kept on calling the CID and police saying things like "im worried ive got my husband in trouble" etc then 4 days after she retracted her statement and from what I gather from the phone call from the officer on the case she was stating me and my wife need counselling and marriage help. The retraction was taken over the phone and I guess sent to her to sign?

THEN she retracted her retraction and wouldn't sign.

It took an extra just under 2 weeks to get her in to make a statement but believe, by correspondence, that my wife did a statement NOT an ABE interview.

Since the statement being taken my wife has sent me a love note in my clothing, talked about me on social media as if nothing has happened and publicly spoken about me seeing my daughter soon... even odder shes been sending me money to my own account and wanted to talk about mediation..

Another confusion is that :

1. The correspondence from my wife to the CID sound NOTHING like her in anyway
2. A word was used in correspondence with me and I have only ever heard one man use it in my life, my father in law.

I now believe my wife is being coerced quite dramatically...

I also have an issue that I have 2 'close contact' witnesses that haven't been contacted about the allegation or even had their statements taken.

Am i thinking too much into this?

[Casehardened]

THEN she retracted her retraction and wouldn't sign.

We should never say never but if I were a CPS lawyer I would be now having very serious doubts as to how she would stand up to cross-examination in the witness box


I also have an issue that I have 2 'close contact' witnesses that haven't been contacted about the allegation or even had their statements taken.

I guess their statements would be favourable to you? Then this is why the police have not bothered.....if the matter goes any further your solicitor would take their statements to use in your defence

-------------------------------

[Rights Fighter]

Look at it from the police/CPS point of view. Retractions are made for many reasons: they still 'love' the assailant; they have been coerced into falsely retracting by the assailant and/or their friends and family.

There was a case a couple of years back, where the wife made a retraction then retracted that. She ended up in prison as I recall.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2...-claim-husband

The featured comment explains why people, usually women, falsely retract. There's retracting because it didn't happen, and there is falsely retracting because it did but there is a reason behind it. Things like that waste a lot of police time

[Lifeintatters]

n update of my situation...

The statement she went in for the second time was again yet another retraction... so 2 retractions so far... but she claimed it was assault and that the police didnt listen to her.. she complained that 3 police took her statement wrong. reading the allegation my wife has never claimed rape which got me even more confused.

anyway I was informed that there was a new allegation of assault this time round and went in for my bail.. i was re arrested again but not for assault but for criminal damage :/

I AM SO CONFUSED!!

after the bail return the inspector who arrested me gave me a lift in his car to the train station which i found was odd and had a chat with me 'off the record' and stated the allegations involving sex are going nowhere and thinks my wife is crazy... ive now had that from 2 different inspectors in charge of the case.

its now been 43 days since the allegation and ive been informed theyve nearly finished the case and it was being handed to a supervisor for review at the end of last week but havent heard anything as of yet. does this mean a chance for an early NFA?

so far we have:

2 x retractions
3x my wife stating police have taken statements wrong
3 x phone calls of my wife 'worried shes getting me into trouble'
no DNA evidence given
no ABE interview
she has lied to the police about trying to contact me (when given evidence)
missed details of close contact witnesses which clear my name
2 x police officers saying the 'rape allegation' is going to go nowhere
a new allegation where they havent arrested me for it but a much lower charge
also talk of how they cant charge my wife because of mental health issues (post natal depression)
I have 2 close contact witnesses
I gave a thorough i mean VERY THOROUGH walk through of the events of the night that corroborate the assault allegation as self defense
the criminal damage was for her mobile phone but can provide proof from network that shes always had the same one


why am i still in a panic?

[Lifeintatters]

Yet another update

So still on bail and waiting to hear anything but surprised by something that has come up...

My wife has been publicly telling our mutual friends that she has never implied or said anything to the affect of rape or anything sexual and that the police are the ones who have assumed the allegation.. she has complained 3 times from what I've heard from an investigating officer.

The second retraction, or so i thought was actually her going in to say that theyve made a grave mistake and what she actually said was... blah blah ... surely this means the investigation is compromised and should cease?

this isn't the first time a statement has been taken wrong either as a family member had to go back in as there was so much information missing, taking incorrectly or just false.

[Lifeintatters]

Rape Charges to be NFA'd

Got a call from the solicitor yesterday and been informed the 3 rape charges are going to be NFA'd ... I have been offered a caution for common assault instead which I have rejected.

As stated : On the occasion you were strangled with a camera strap and hit in the face you pushed the victim..

Would you take it? My solicitor believes It will all be NFA'd within days now things looking up

[jittery]

Glad to hear it!

Got a call from the solicitor yesterday and been informed the 3 rape charges are going to be NFA'd ... I have been offered a caution for common assault instead which I have rejected.

As stated : On the occasion you were strangled with a camera strap and hit in the face you pushed the victim..

Would you take it? My solicitor believes It will all be NFA'd within days now things looking up

Read the next bulletin too. Glad to hear it! I feel that words have been put into the mouth of my accuser too and have come to realise that she may have mental issues also. I was very worried that I would be found guilty by default because of this so this is more re-assuring news for me. All the best!

[Casehardened]

As stated : On the occasion you were strangled with a camera strap and hit in the face you pushed the victim..

I guess the CPS want to sweeten the pill of having to your wife about the NFA's.....

[Lifeintatters]

Yeah I think they are trying to get anything they can now after spending over 10 weeks on this case...I read a case review about costing and they have to justify the tens of thousands of £ spent on this case, even after the rejection my evidence is still my word against hers and I had admitted to pushing my wife but after being struck in the face 4 times, strangled then a further punch after she accused me of cheating on her with a girl who lives over 5000 miles away..

shes also seen as a 'inconsistent witness' and 'unreliable'.

Feeling confident but just want this gone now.

[shadow]

Could i give you some advice ? My partner and i had a child and she become very controlive i could see she has depression from having the child.I couldnt get a job or anything but when i told her i was gonna leave she went to the police and got me arrested for assault she even phoned me before she did it and told me i ether stick with her or she would do it.She did try and drop it loads of times but she was told she could go to prison if she did. The thing was she had marks on her which the cps thought that was enough to take it to court. There is cctv out side my house and they looked at it i was in the house she walked from the house to the police station when she left the house there was no marks there but when she walked into the police station they was there so it happened out side the house when i was at home. After it went to court and was chucked out due to finding out she did it to her self to stop me from seeing my kids she promised she would change but never did. We have now been apart and i seeked legal action for the kids i now have a order which she cant stop so i can see and have my kids overnight.

So what im trying to say people like this you should stay away from they will get you sent to prison. I know most people want the family unit and everything but you should stay away from her and go down the legal route for the kids. This stuff she is saying you have done will let you have legal aid i think has long has you don't work.( i used my assault charge to gain legal aid)

[Lifeintatters]

Thanks for the advice.

It's all mixed at my end but a majority on the side of trying to piece everything back together. Eve. If we do try and rekindle or anything I'm still going to go to court for my daughter 'just incase'. I have been informed that my wife has been branded (or will be branded - bit confused) by the police as the women who cries wolf.

I'm going to see how things play by ear day by day and see where it takes me. Still on bail as of now but knowing this information of the NFA's is making it all that much harder to not contact her and say 'so what happened?'.

Going over details of the caution I rejected, there is no way on earth CPS would take it forward, as same as before I have witnesses and this time with the branding and unreliability there's no legal leg to stand on.

Some believe I'll have to wait till my bail date in 12 days, some believe they'd just want it off their books. 'Off the record' I was informed not to take any caution and reject everything coming my way so seems positive to all go.

But I just can't help feeling something is missing here.