How to support partner in this situation and what happens now?

[karmaiscoming]

First thing is I am so glad I have found this forum, reading everybody's stories just makes me realise we are not the only people going through this.

I am posting for some advice for my boyfriend and some reassurance for myself I suppose.

My boyfriend has been on bail for months and has now been charged, he had sex with a friend he had known for a while, she wanted more and he didn't so she called the police and cried rape.

Their statements to the police are identical, the dates/times/process of invents/the sexts she was sending. The only difference in their stories is she says she said no and he said she said yes. That's it.

He will be going to court for his pre trial hearing (I believe it's called) very soon. Way to ruin Xmas!

From what I've red and what people are telling us the trial won't be for another 6 months or so? His bail condition is he is not allowed to his house as she lives in same block of flats so he has been sofa surfing for months already. Is it likely this bail condition will be kept until the trial?

He has a duty solicitor as he qualifies for legal aid, however I don't have much faith in him and have started tracking down solicitors that take legal aid and have more experience in this type of allegation.

This man is my soul mate and best friend and it breaks my heart to see him so stressed and worried sick all over a lie.

I see her around and she laughs about it all and says she wants to claim compo when he goes to jail!!! It breaks me that somebody can tell such lies and make real cases seem non important.

Sorry for the long text, I don't have anywhere to vent usually and don't know how to deal with this so well when I have to watch somebody I love go through this.

Any advice is much appriciated!

[Rights Fighter]

Bail should remain the same until and during the course of the trial.

It's quite difficult to change representation but not impossible as he's only just been charged. Which area will the trial be held in?

He (and you) could try to obtain evidence via the complainant's Facebook and other social media sites if her profile is public.

[karmaiscoming]

Bail should remain the same until and during the course of the trial.

It's quite difficult to change representation but not impossible as he's only just been charged. Which area will the trial be held in?

He (and you) could try to obtain evidence via the complainant's Facebook and other social media sites if her profile is public.

We are in the West Midlands area.

I did think Facebook and social media might be an idea if she's bragging about it. I think I'll follow that. She is snap chatting him which he managed to screen shot so that went to solicitor.

I don't think she realised the case would go this far, she called the police for revenge and now has to follow it through.

Is there any chance in the whole wide world that the case could be dropped at the pre trial hearing if there is lack on evidence or not in the public interest to go further? From what I've red and understood it used to happen, but now with some many rape cases and taking them all seriously that doesn't happen now?

[Rights Fighter]

If you are near Birmingham or Walsall and surrounding areas a good choice would be

http://www.glaisyers.co.uk/meet-the-...h-astbury.aspx

Barrister of choice would be Andrew Baker of No 5 Chambers.

[karmaiscoming]

If you are near Birmingham or Walsall and surrounding areas a good choice would be

http://www.glaisyers.co.uk/meet-the-...h-astbury.aspx

Barrister of choice would be Andrew Baker of No 5 Chambers.

Thank you for this!

[Rights Fighter]

Are you on Facebook? If so look for PAFAA with SOFAP private group

[thisisinsane]

What you can do to suppport him is to listen and take the emotional component from his views there will be miments when he feels like there is absolutely no way out? Thats when you have to talk to him rationally ans try calm him down.there will be many if these moments and if you want to help him through it you'll have to be very strong, be a rock he can hang on to. Sometimes all he might need is a tight hug or you to hold his hand and be there For him. If he is being unfair in an argument just leave it at that and take it as it is he didnt chose all that stress. If it becomes bad take him to the gp to get a diagnosis and treatment for mental health issues as he will be likely to develop depression or anxiety. Cant think of anything else at the moment besides leave him some freedom. My friend does not want me to go to court with him because he feels ots embarrassing. I have read the statements and know everything so i really dont understand why, but this is how some of them feel and i just try to respect and not pressure them. Hope that helps a bit

[whatsgoingon?]

Great advice from TII. Welcome to the forum and well done for supporting your guy.

I would just add to what's been said.... don't feel you have to bring it up all the time, I know from experience it's easy to do.
With your support, he needs to be preparing his defence, writing everything down as it happened (before and after) where and when and making sure he gets the right defence team.
Your role may turn out to be sometimes giving him a kick up the back-side if he buries his head in the sand, while making sure he leads as 'normal' a life as possible, keeps healthy, both physically and mentally and has some fun times.

Good luck

[can it get worse]

Has he had his pre trial hearing yet?

If not - I hope you are both remaining relatively strong.

I hope CPS are now providing the 'evidence' so that you can begin to work on his defence.

You may feel somewhat better when this starts to come thru' as you will know what you are up against.

When CPS finally provided the statements to us and other related documents - we did feel more encouraged as it clarified to us what a load of nonsense it all was. It was also interesting that CPS chose not to give us information that would help us.

Please make sure you obtain all disclosures.