desperate parent of accused

[katie]

hi i am new to this so please excuse me if i do anything wrong. My 20 year old son has been accused of rape by his half cousin. His appears to be quite a common story. He was at the accusers mums house they all partied and drunk including her mother. Him and his half cousin slept together. yes her mum knew they were sleeping together. the next day he helped them around the house then came home. day after that police turn up and apparently she is saying he raped her when she was sleeping that she didnt consent. The mother had accused her own father before. We hoped it would not go to court, but have just found out it is. I am absolutely terrified that my son will be found guilty and go to jail as it all seems to be about the alleged victim, our justice system does not appear to be about the truth. My son has allready gone through so much, the police broke him, they had him distraught. now it appears when it goes to court, probably in the papers he will be labeled a raper no matter what. I have become extremely depressed, lost 3 stone in weight and want to be there for my son as i beleive him 100% but i dont think i can cope with a court case never mind the thought of him going to jail.
My son just acts as though its not happening but I know its killing him inside. How can we help our child in a situation like this.

[Survivor]

Hi Katie,

Sorry to hear what your son is going through I feel for you both and reading this makes my boil again. I was accused of raping my wife as part of her vendetta against me, it went to court and I was found not guilty for 2 reasons. 1 She was a bad witness and got caught lying and 2 I had a great barrister.

Court is a nightmare and your son if like me will appear to take it in his stride and that is the best way if he opens up the flood gates might open so leave him to "take it like a man", I also over heard my mum say I cant believe how calm he looks to her friend when in court. I wasnt I was bricking it but playing a good poker face!

Just be there for him dont put any pressure on him and try not to talk about it 24/7 like my parents. You being strong for him will help more than him seeing you breaking down. My mother took anti depressants to help her through and her not being depressed helped me but dont go on them things if you can avoid it.

As regards the case the mother is the main problem that I see if she is a liar like her daughter she will push her and follow the story in court to. The fact that she accused her husband should be allowed to be used as she is clearly a serial accuser.

Good luck be stong and keep in touch.

[katie]

Hi
thanks survivor, i know what u mean it has consumed us 24/7, will genuinely try to cut this out. I fear i may end up on anti depressants but I am trying hard not to go down that road. I know what you mean by serial accuser cause she definetly is. I also think she has received compensation before as well and she is obviosly using this as a way of setting her daughter up with a little nest egg. I didnt realise the extent of the problem of false accusation until I came on this site. God I feel for all those poor blokes out there. so many lifes destroyed. I am glad yours came to a happy end you must be so relieved and thank you for replying to my post. I helps to have people to chat to whom know what your going through.

thanks
Katie

[Survivor]

Hi Katie,

Thanks for replying, the mother in this case sounds a nasty piece of work, problem is none of this will be able to be mentioned in court as it does not resemble the real world where anyone looking at all the facts would probably not have charged your son.

The Daughter will go to court probably on a video link or behind a screen, cry for sympathy etc

You need to get the best barrister you can who and ride the storm hoping that it will turn to calmness and sunshine in the future like what I am experiencing now.

Speak soon

James

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Katie

I've dealt with a several South Wales cases - the police there seem to be very vigilant in getting convictions of this nature.

I wonder if you could private message me? It's possible that the accuser is one who has accused one of "my guys". Either that, or the mother has been named in one of my cases.

RF

[katie]

Update

Sorry havent been on for a while, havent been coping too good. Going to court 2morow for son to plead and get date for trial. Dont feel very confident that lawyers are doin much, dont know what to do about this. I really fear my son is goin to b convicted entirely on the say so of these people and dont have much confidence in lawyers. They have told my son if he is found guilty its a minimum of 5 years. He has never been in jail the prospect is getting to him. He has been ill, lying in bed, crying, throwing up and finding it difficult to eat, I think he has lost any hope he had. How any human being can do this to anyone I will never understand.
Thanks rights fighter for your interest, I dont think they have ever lived in wales, theyve allways lived in Scotland. Im also new to this and dont know how to private message.

Thanks to u all

[Saffron]

trying to give comfort

I know it sounds like a platitude, but you never know what you can cope with until it is thrust on you. Good luck and stay strong xx

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Katie

I've emailed you. Why did I think you were in Wales? I must have been answering two messages at the same time!

RF

[katie]

Cleared At Last

Hi This is an update havent been on for a while. had too much too deal with.
Just to let everyone know that my son has been in court over the last week on the allegation. My son was found NOT GUILTY, it was a unanimous verdict, the jury took only 45 mins to decide. My son had no witnesses on his defence all he had was the tape which was played of his distaught statement in police station. But the accusers lies became apparent throughout the case. Thankfully the jury saw this. Just to let anyone out there suffering the same distress to keep up hope. When your telling the truth it shows. thank you all for your support. This will not be the end of this for us I know that, the accuser will not let it but this has given us hope. I will be back on again as I think that once we are through this I may try to help others in this situation.

[Rights Fighter]

Good result!

Whoo-hoo! Well done! Get that bottle of bubly out!!!!

Please feel free to surf PAFAA on www.pafaa.org.uk We also have a forum and chat room.

Hi This is an update havent been on for a while. had too much too deal with.
Just to let everyone know that my son has been in court over the last week on the allegation. My son was found NOT GUILTY, it was a unanimous verdict, the jury took only 45 mins to decide. My son had no witnesses on his defence all he had was the tape which was played of his distaught statement in police station. But the accusers lies became apparent throughout the case. Thankfully the jury saw this. Just to let anyone out there suffering the same distress to keep up hope. When your telling the truth it shows. thank you all for your support. This will not be the end of this for us I know that, the accuser will not let it but this has given us hope. I will be back on again as I think that once we are through this I may try to help others in this situation.

[geraldine]

Im so so pleased for you! I wish all liars were seen through so easily!

[katie]

Anger

I dont know what to do with myself now, Im now so bloody angry at this whole situation. I really wish that the people that make these false allegations could be brought to justice more often. It was so clear that the supposed victim and her mother in my sons case were both lying, the supposed victim even stood on the dock in court and laughed her head off about all of this, then her and her mother sat in court and watched the rest of the case. Whilst this was tearing our family to bits. thankfully they werent laughing when the verdict NOT GUILTY was read out. But no matter what many lives have been ruined. How can there be no comeback for this, I ask and will she still get compensation, I dont know. I know that we wont and could never be compensated for what weve had to go through last 14 months. But on the positive side we have friends now that we know are real friends and our family are so much closer.

[Rights Fighter]

I very much doubt that she would get compo. I know that after a successful appeal against conviction they usually get to keep it especially if the family courts were involved, which I assume in your case they weren't. The burden of proof is not so high (not that it's high in criminal courts as we know!).

Your son might be able to get compo for what he and the family have been through.

I know a solicitor in Leamington who specialises in this type of case - getting compo after false allegations. If you would like to go down that route email me and I can advise you further.

[Unregistered]

I think that it is disgusting that anyone should lie about being raped to meet their own ends, it is a horrific crime and most certainly ruins lives. The people making up that they have been raped make it so much harder for the people who have actually been raped to be believed and to face a court room.