accusations and the effect on others

[notaclue]

Hi.
I need to stat out by saying that the person accused is not me or my partner but a man I had an affair with, whilst married. Th affair has been over for a year. My husband knows nothing about it.
Anyway the man I had an affair with hhas been arrested and accused of sexual assault by his daughter. I have had no contact with him for over a year, but now I am petrified that at any moment the police will be knocking on my door to question me about our relationship.
Do the police contact ex sexual partners if there is an accusation?
Yes I know, being involved in this is my own fault.

[Casehardened]

Hi and welcome to the forum,

It's difficult to answer your question with a yes or no as it depends on the exact circumstances of your relationship.

Bear in mind that the police are looking for evidence to support the allegation so if you lived with him and his daughter at any time it is likely you will be interviewed to see if you could corroborate the accusation, similarly if you lived with him and had children of your own in the same house this would also be of interest.

It also depends on whether the police become aware of your relationship, as there would be no reason for them to know unless he mentioned you in his initial interview.

To end on a personal note, this is a forum for the falsely accused so I assume that as you have searched it out, your feeling is that he is innocent of this accusation. If so, and the matter does eventually go to a charge and possibly trial, your support for him as a character witness would be invaluable.

[Rights Fighter]

As I understand it, this was an affair not a live-in relationship so I would think that the OP would not be a material witness. I can't quite work out whether the accused was married at the time of the affair. If he was/is then he is unlikely to have brought the OP into the matrimonial home.

Possibly the girl found out about the affair and this is her punishment. Or it could be something completely different of course.

[notaclue]

It was an affair. No living together.
As far as I can assertain the allegation is based on a specific set of dates, none of which I have any knowledge of.
I have not seen anything that would make me feel this was true.

I am being totally selfish in trying to find out exactly what happens now.
Will the police check his phone bills and recover old texts?
Will they want to find out what he was like sexually to see if he has any likes which could be worrying? For example.

[lawlessone2009]

It was an affair. No living together.
As far as I can assertain the allegation is based on a specific set of dates, none of which I have any knowledge of.
I have not seen anything that would make me feel this was true.

I am being totally selfish in trying to find out exactly what happens now.
Will the police check his phone bills and recover old texts?
Will they want to find out what he was like sexually to see if he has any likes which could be worrying? For example.

Hi and welcome,

You're quite different from the mainstream of people who arrive here needing assistance...

I can't see why the Police would be interested in you. I just don't think they would bother. It could be that you have a 'belief' like most of us had at one time, a belief that the Police carry out a thorough and in-depth investigation...

They don't.

They'll look into him enough to gather the evidence to prove guilt. He'll need to look around to find evidence to counter that evidence when it ends up in court, IF it ends up in court. The evidence against him is subject to scrutiny of course.

I'd very much doubt that the Police will contact you. If they do then they should do so in a manner which is discreet.

You mention 'weird' kinks in a round about manner. Were there weird kinks? You do not need to actually answer that on here but you do need to consider if he was actually kinky in a weird way.

Do you love him or is this just concern for someone you care about? If you guys broke up a while ago and you have a family then you must put them first. You also need to look out for yourself. It is bad enough one man going through the horrors of hell without the impact reaching to you and your family. I know it sounds a little detached and kind of cruel but you really do need to look after yourself. Of course, if he contacts you looking for assistance then I would encourage you to at least hear him out but I don't see anyone but him contacting you and even then I will leave that for you to answer for yourself as only you know what the chances are. If you feel you must contact him then feel free to do so, you could recommend he signs up here where we will try to help him as best we can with insight and support.

You could potentially be sitting on a very large can of worms here. Be careful.

[notaclue]

Thank you for your time.
The affair ended over a year ago and lasted a couple of months.
I have never seen or experienced any behavior from this person that screams this to be true.
I have had no contact with him in about 13 months.
From what I have been told he has been accused of one act of sexual assault.
I'm just trying to get it straight in my head what the hell I have done.
I don't know anything about this situation. Or how the police work.
They have his phone, computer etc.
Will they want to know about his previous sexual partners?
Would they turn up on my door to ask me things if he tells them of our relationship?

[lawlessone2009]

Thank you for your time.
The affair ended over a year ago and lasted a couple of months.
I have never seen or experienced any behavior from this person that screams this to be true.
I have had no contact with him in about 13 months.
From what I have been told he has been accused of one act of sexual assault.
I'm just trying to get it straight in my head what the hell I have done.
I don't know anything about this situation. Or how the police work.
They have his phone, computer etc.
Will they want to know about his previous sexual partners?
Would they turn up on my door to ask me things if he tells them of our relationship?

All kinds of things lead to allegations being made. I wouldn't read too deeply. If you are sure about your own feelings on the subject then go with them.

One act of sexual assault could be anything at all. It's impossible for anyone to pass judgement without knowing what is alleged and also the circumstances, even then I doubt any of us would reach the correct judgement. Juries land with that hard job should things get that far.

As for you. Relax. I see absolutely no reason why the Police would be in touch with you. They'll not be interested in previous sexual partners unless he has made indications that he has abused them or they were somehow similar (age for example) to what is being investigated just now.

Why would the Police turn up at your door? What would they actually ask you that could provide evidence to substantiate an accusation by the mans daughter that he sexually abused her? If you were one of his daughters I would see them asking you a few questions but really, I don't see any reason for them wanting to ask you anything.

Take a deep breath, relax and think things through logically. There would need to be a reason for the Police to contact you. Being an ex partner in an extra-marital affair doesn't put you into the equation.

[notaclue]

Another question.
Would police routinely go back through old texts etc? From people other than the accuser?
And is there a time frame that these situations take to play out?
For instance, will the police talk to friends ans family quickly after the arrest?

[lawlessone2009]

Another question.
Would police routinely go back through old texts etc? From people other than the accuser?
And is there a time frame that these situations take to play out?
For instance, will the police talk to friends ans family quickly after the arrest?

There are many officers involved in what you are asking...

Old text messages would be sound evidence if they showed something, like an 'apology' to the accuser for instance. Messages about 'meeting up' are of little interest other than a little giggle at someones private life.

The phone will be analysed for data usage (internet sites visited etc), people called/texted that may be known (on Police National Computer), pictures stored on the phone...... The information gathered will be used to build a picture of the suspect as well as find actual evidence.

They'll do the same with a PC or any other electronic device. They'll probably have looked to retrieve any data storage devices as well. Everything is analysed.

They're really not interested in someone that has been in a consenting relationship with him. They may stumble upon the texts either through them being on the phone or by a request sent to the operator. If everything appears above board they will not bother looking further in all honesty. If you've text him alleging that something has happened that perhaps shouldn't have then they could carry out some follow up investigating.

Are you a friend or family? How close are you? Did you spend time with him whilst he was with his daughter? Can you give an opinion on his relationship with his daughter that could throw light on what is being alleged? The Police will ask themselves these questions before arriving at conclusions of whether or not to speak with you.

[Casehardened]

To add to Lawlessone's excellent advice, do you know what age his daughter was when the alleged assault took place?

If she was a minor then the police would be looking for a similar 'interest' in their investigations and so, as L1 said, you would not be of interest.

[Rights Fighter]

I tend to look at it from both sides, so with a hypothetical prosecutor's hat on, they might want to trawl for more 'victims'. If your number/contact details are available to them, they might call you to ask if you were ever assaulted by him.

If you have not then that is what you tell them. Furthermore (as you don't want this blown out of the sky, although you don't tell them this), you would tell them as he has never displayed such behaviour to you then you have absolutely no interest in the case, you will not help them as it is none of your business and that you will not speak with them further about the matter.