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So, I can't believe I am posting on here but here goes:
(I know this is very long, but please take the time to read it thoroughly before offering any thoughts)
Several weeks ago I was falsely accused of raping a girl who I had met through friends, gone for a drink with and then had consenting sex with. Its a bit of a long story so I will try and bullet-point the facts in chronological order...
*We met on a night out through mutual friends. She told me about a boyfriend of hers who was "horrible" (she told me some things about him and he sounded like a total a-hole) and she was about to split up with. She asked for my number but having initially declined to give it to her, she got it through a friend and contacted me a few days later.
*We exchanged texts and agreed to meet for a drink. She seemed a little "highly strung" although nothing out of the ordinary. We met for a drink a few days later and hit it off well. We chatted about several things, including how awful her boyfriend was being to her and I suggested she should split up with him. At this stage, I had not planned to make any kind of "move" on her but it was clear that we were hitting it off.
*We went to some other bars and had about 3-4 alcoholic drinks each. Peculiarly, she claimed in her statement that he had about 1.5 alcohol drinks despite also being "gone" when we had sex and unable to consent. She also contradicted herself further by saying she said "stop" and "no", despite also claiming she didn't know what was happening.
*Throughout the evening we ran into some mutual friends and some people that I know that she doesn't. We chatted with them and I named them in my statement as possible witnesses.
*In our final bar, we were getting VERY touchy-feely, flirting heavily and nearly kissed.
*Upon leaving our final bar, we chatted with 2 girls outside a club because we asked them for cigarettes. They gave us a cigarette each and chatted with us in a friendly way. Obviously, I also mentioned this chat in my statement.
*She then invited me to back to hers for something to eat. When we were back at hers, we chatted for a bit and she told me that she had Bipolar Disorder, but that she managed it okay and it wasn't too much of a problem. She had earlier in the evening alluded to some problems with mental health, but having suffered on and off with anxiety and depression myself for years I thought nothing of this. I appreciate some people will say I should have run a mile when she told me she had BPD, but I have 2 friends who both suffer with it but have normal lives, regular jobs, romantic relationships etc etc.
*Having chatted further, I admitted to her a strong attraction towards her and that under normal circumstances (i.e. her not going through a relationship break-up) I would have kissed her. She said the feeling was mutual and that she had wanted to kiss me throughout the last hour or so.
*We began kissing, progressed through foreplay and into intercourse. She came. I didn't, so she offered to give me oral sex in order to help me cum. I declined.
*As it progressed towards morning, I was struggling to sleep at hers. This is for 2 reasons: 1. Her bed was not very comfortable. 2. She lives in a bedsit and I kept needing the toilet (I have general bladder problems which I explained in my statement to Police), but wasn't really comfortable with continually having to use the toilet in her bedsit as it was shared with her neighbours and I didn't want them to catch me semi-nude. I said to her that I wanted to go back to mine but that I would only go if she came back with me as I didn't feel morally comfortable with the idea of leaving her alone having just had sexual intercourse with her, as I felt this would be pretty ungentlemanly!
*She agreed to come back to mine, then put on some clothes and packed an overnight bag. I ordered a taxi and it arrived. We both chatted briefly with the taxi driver. Back at mine we had sex again and she asked to snuggle with me. I said I couldn't sleep snuggling so I declined but told her not to take it personally.
*In the morning she left, and although she seemed a little regretful as she had technically cheated on her boyfriend, I had not idea what was to come. She had seemed drowsy in the morning just before she left and I commented on it. She said that it was because of her BPD medication.
*On the following day she texted me. The text was primarily about the morning-after pill and whether she would be able to get it that day. We chatted a little over the phone, and I began to get the impression this girl was more erratic than I had originally thought. She was talking about getting back with her boyfriend and we both agreed that we had gone "too far" for a first meeting/date.
*On the day after that, she sent me a MAMMOTH rambling text in the morning about many things - her boyfriend, her illness, her regret over sleeping with me. She also said this: "I felt used by you and it reminded me of when I was 15 and I was raped." I texted her back to say I was "shocked and hurt" that she would imply anything of this nature went on. She replied to apologise profusely and said that she hadn't meant to imply that at all ("honestly ***, you have done nothing wrong at all. I feel stupid for leading you on, and I don't want to hurt you.") I told her that I would rather discuss this sort of thing in person and asked to meet her for lunch. The police have my my phone - and thus these texts - in their possession.
*She agreed to meet and we went and sat (in a crowded area) and had a friendly chat. The chat was again along the lines of her staying with her boyfriend, and after I raised the earlier text she again confirmed she hadn't meant to accuse me of anything.
*We then chatted about the morning-after pill and she asked me to accompany her to the chemists to get it with her. When she came out of the chemists, her mood had clearly changed dramatically, she mumbled something vague about pregnancy, her life being in danger, and asked me to leave... telling me not to contact her.
*The following day I got a call from a friend who said the Police had contacted her as she was the person who had given my number to the alleged victim and would have my contact details. It sounds like the alleged victim had deleted my number and texts between us. How curious.
*I called the Police and took myself in for questioning the following day. I was not charged with anything.
Basically, her argument was that I raped her at hers, while she was "gone" because of a combination of the small amount of alcohol she consumed reacting with her medication, then took her back to mine to rape her there as well. I acknowledged in my statement that he had seemed unusually drowsy the next morning at the point she left, but this was WAY after the act of intercourse.
Most ridiculously, she essentially argued that I moved her from a location with ZERO witnesses (her 1 bedroom bedsit) to rape her (via a taxi, with a taxi driver who would presumably count as an independent witness) at a new location with 6 potential witnesses (I live in a house with 6 other people) plus any further independent witnesses who may have been walking down the street at either the point of getting in the taxi or the point of leaving.
She was also essentially arguing that a taxi driver was happy to take two people to a house - one of whom was totally "gone" and had been "forced" into the taxi by the other party - without calling the Police/refusing to drive us to mine etc.
Since my interview, several key bits of information have come to light:
*A mutual friend has told me that she has since been sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
*The same mutual friend told me that her sister (who I have never met) is a close friend of the girl and has had significant previous experience of this girl making several false accusations, including one of physical assault against her sister's husband (i.e. the mutual friend's sister's husband) which was a crock of sh*t and later retracted. The sister has offered to give her details to Police in order to be questioned by them about the alleged victim's history of lying.
*A friend of my parents (who knows me a little, and is close with the alleged victim) approached my parents to advise them that they know the accusation is not true and that the girl plans to retract the allegation - in a video recording with her doctor/psychiatrist - soon.
*The same friend approached my parents again more recently to say that the alleged victim is now planning instead to go to the Police station with her sister. It is not known whether this will be to simply withdraw the allegation or to admit that it was a false allegation.
Please let me know your thoughts on my case, and what I should expect from now. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive of me since the allegation and every single one of the has given me their full support.
(I know this is very long, but please take the time to read it thoroughly before offering any thoughts)
Several weeks ago I was falsely accused of raping a girl who I had met through friends, gone for a drink with and then had consenting sex with. Its a bit of a long story so I will try and bullet-point the facts in chronological order...
*We met on a night out through mutual friends. She told me about a boyfriend of hers who was "horrible" (she told me some things about him and he sounded like a total a-hole) and she was about to split up with. She asked for my number but having initially declined to give it to her, she got it through a friend and contacted me a few days later.
*We exchanged texts and agreed to meet for a drink. She seemed a little "highly strung" although nothing out of the ordinary. We met for a drink a few days later and hit it off well. We chatted about several things, including how awful her boyfriend was being to her and I suggested she should split up with him. At this stage, I had not planned to make any kind of "move" on her but it was clear that we were hitting it off.
*We went to some other bars and had about 3-4 alcoholic drinks each. Peculiarly, she claimed in her statement that he had about 1.5 alcohol drinks despite also being "gone" when we had sex and unable to consent. She also contradicted herself further by saying she said "stop" and "no", despite also claiming she didn't know what was happening.
*Throughout the evening we ran into some mutual friends and some people that I know that she doesn't. We chatted with them and I named them in my statement as possible witnesses.
*In our final bar, we were getting VERY touchy-feely, flirting heavily and nearly kissed.
*Upon leaving our final bar, we chatted with 2 girls outside a club because we asked them for cigarettes. They gave us a cigarette each and chatted with us in a friendly way. Obviously, I also mentioned this chat in my statement.
*She then invited me to back to hers for something to eat. When we were back at hers, we chatted for a bit and she told me that she had Bipolar Disorder, but that she managed it okay and it wasn't too much of a problem. She had earlier in the evening alluded to some problems with mental health, but having suffered on and off with anxiety and depression myself for years I thought nothing of this. I appreciate some people will say I should have run a mile when she told me she had BPD, but I have 2 friends who both suffer with it but have normal lives, regular jobs, romantic relationships etc etc.
*Having chatted further, I admitted to her a strong attraction towards her and that under normal circumstances (i.e. her not going through a relationship break-up) I would have kissed her. She said the feeling was mutual and that she had wanted to kiss me throughout the last hour or so.
*We began kissing, progressed through foreplay and into intercourse. She came. I didn't, so she offered to give me oral sex in order to help me cum. I declined.
*As it progressed towards morning, I was struggling to sleep at hers. This is for 2 reasons: 1. Her bed was not very comfortable. 2. She lives in a bedsit and I kept needing the toilet (I have general bladder problems which I explained in my statement to Police), but wasn't really comfortable with continually having to use the toilet in her bedsit as it was shared with her neighbours and I didn't want them to catch me semi-nude. I said to her that I wanted to go back to mine but that I would only go if she came back with me as I didn't feel morally comfortable with the idea of leaving her alone having just had sexual intercourse with her, as I felt this would be pretty ungentlemanly!
*She agreed to come back to mine, then put on some clothes and packed an overnight bag. I ordered a taxi and it arrived. We both chatted briefly with the taxi driver. Back at mine we had sex again and she asked to snuggle with me. I said I couldn't sleep snuggling so I declined but told her not to take it personally.
*In the morning she left, and although she seemed a little regretful as she had technically cheated on her boyfriend, I had not idea what was to come. She had seemed drowsy in the morning just before she left and I commented on it. She said that it was because of her BPD medication.
*On the following day she texted me. The text was primarily about the morning-after pill and whether she would be able to get it that day. We chatted a little over the phone, and I began to get the impression this girl was more erratic than I had originally thought. She was talking about getting back with her boyfriend and we both agreed that we had gone "too far" for a first meeting/date.
*On the day after that, she sent me a MAMMOTH rambling text in the morning about many things - her boyfriend, her illness, her regret over sleeping with me. She also said this: "I felt used by you and it reminded me of when I was 15 and I was raped." I texted her back to say I was "shocked and hurt" that she would imply anything of this nature went on. She replied to apologise profusely and said that she hadn't meant to imply that at all ("honestly ***, you have done nothing wrong at all. I feel stupid for leading you on, and I don't want to hurt you.") I told her that I would rather discuss this sort of thing in person and asked to meet her for lunch. The police have my my phone - and thus these texts - in their possession.
*She agreed to meet and we went and sat (in a crowded area) and had a friendly chat. The chat was again along the lines of her staying with her boyfriend, and after I raised the earlier text she again confirmed she hadn't meant to accuse me of anything.
*We then chatted about the morning-after pill and she asked me to accompany her to the chemists to get it with her. When she came out of the chemists, her mood had clearly changed dramatically, she mumbled something vague about pregnancy, her life being in danger, and asked me to leave... telling me not to contact her.
*The following day I got a call from a friend who said the Police had contacted her as she was the person who had given my number to the alleged victim and would have my contact details. It sounds like the alleged victim had deleted my number and texts between us. How curious.
*I called the Police and took myself in for questioning the following day. I was not charged with anything.
Basically, her argument was that I raped her at hers, while she was "gone" because of a combination of the small amount of alcohol she consumed reacting with her medication, then took her back to mine to rape her there as well. I acknowledged in my statement that he had seemed unusually drowsy the next morning at the point she left, but this was WAY after the act of intercourse.
Most ridiculously, she essentially argued that I moved her from a location with ZERO witnesses (her 1 bedroom bedsit) to rape her (via a taxi, with a taxi driver who would presumably count as an independent witness) at a new location with 6 potential witnesses (I live in a house with 6 other people) plus any further independent witnesses who may have been walking down the street at either the point of getting in the taxi or the point of leaving.
She was also essentially arguing that a taxi driver was happy to take two people to a house - one of whom was totally "gone" and had been "forced" into the taxi by the other party - without calling the Police/refusing to drive us to mine etc.
Since my interview, several key bits of information have come to light:
*A mutual friend has told me that she has since been sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
*The same mutual friend told me that her sister (who I have never met) is a close friend of the girl and has had significant previous experience of this girl making several false accusations, including one of physical assault against her sister's husband (i.e. the mutual friend's sister's husband) which was a crock of sh*t and later retracted. The sister has offered to give her details to Police in order to be questioned by them about the alleged victim's history of lying.
*A friend of my parents (who knows me a little, and is close with the alleged victim) approached my parents to advise them that they know the accusation is not true and that the girl plans to retract the allegation - in a video recording with her doctor/psychiatrist - soon.
*The same friend approached my parents again more recently to say that the alleged victim is now planning instead to go to the Police station with her sister. It is not known whether this will be to simply withdraw the allegation or to admit that it was a false allegation.
Please let me know your thoughts on my case, and what I should expect from now. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive of me since the allegation and every single one of the has given me their full support.
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