Dad accused of historic sexual assualt

[Chigirl]

The police must be keeping the accuser updated on speaking to my dad. I've just seen on her facebook profile which isn't private she's posted about it. Everyone is giving her sympathy. I am so upset, she's destroying our lives and posting it on bloody facebook! Who does that? If it were me and I had been touched as a child I certainly wouldn't be posting about it on facebook.

She hasn't mentioned my dad's name but to people enquiring about her posts she's aid she''ll pm them about it.

[Rights Fighter]

I hope you are taking screenshots hon. They can be used in evidence of course depending on context. If you can view her friends and cohorts all the better.

[Chigirl]

How long can it drag on before we hear anything about what's going on? I just read someone on here saying it's been years and they've heard nothing! I don't think we can carry on much longer as it is to be honest.

I keep reading about how the DC appears nice like they believe you and just wanna get all the evidence they can to help sort the mess out but they are jut trying to stitch you up. That's how the DC came across, nice and asked us for information about that time. She wouldn't take my statement but took one of my sisters, why?

Can they really just leave us hanging waiting for news for years? It just seems impossible to get on with life. My dad seems all spaced out and is losing it big time and I can't cope dealing with it all. Can you believe my sister rang the house earlier when I was in the bath, dad didn't hear it in time so dialed 1471 and wrote down the number. He then went on the internet and searched the number. By the time I got out the bath he was wound up in a state shaking with this piece of paper with my sisters mobile number in his hand, which by the way he texts all the time, saying it was the accusers sisters number!!!!!!!! I looked at the number and immediately recognised it and got my mobile and showed him it was my sisters and he still insisted the internet came up saying it was this womans. I asked him to show me and he typed it in the search and of course it didn't. He's just losing it big time. Wandering around the house in and out of rooms staring into space.

And another thing that really angers me is they asked my sister in her statement point blank if she thinks he did it. Where do they get off asking such questions? And also the DC said they are going to speak to the accusers Doctor. What would that be about do you think? She's saying she was touched above outside her clothes so what would they ask her Doctor about?

[Chigirl]

Also this girl no longer lives here but her mum and dad do and she visits them most days and is literally stood in the street outside our back garden laughing and joking all day. Shouldn't she have to stay away from us? My dad has his car MOT due and every year he puts the car in the back garden to check it over underneath and do any repairs he can. This means literally being outside their front window to drive it in. He's too afraid to do that. He's just driven up to his mates house to do it instead. Why should we have to live like this?

Sorry lots of questions and rants, I'm just super stressed right now

[myhome]

Hi Chigirl and sorry I'm late welcoming you to this forum and so sorry to read about what you are all going through - it is indeed a living nightmare, and sadly - yes it could take a very long time (I'm 19 months into an historical FA - no arrest, charge or answers); on the other hand I have read of someone who's case was closed in 5 days, and another in 6 months - so it is very difficult to try to second guess how long because each case, police force and CPS group is different.
Has any of your family sought help from your GP? many of us have found our own to be incredibly sympathetic and helpful. They are also the gateway to other services such as Mental Health, counselling and other talking therapies. You need support for yourself as well as it is very hard also being the supporting person because you're having to be strong for your dad and for yourself.
As I say, I've been here a long time and have learnt a great deal so please pm me if you would like to.

[Chigirl]

Thanks, my mum is severely mentally ill and has been for years. I myself have been on antidepressants for years which do help. Dad is just carrying on.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Chigirl

Is there any update yet?

[Chigirl]

Hi Chigirl

Is there any update yet?

We've not heard a thing yet! Is this normal?

[Indigo]

It can take a while yes I waited for well over a year before anything was progressed.
It's a nightmare trying to carry on with your life while they go about theirs.

All you can do is try to be as normal as possible (not easy) but planning things like a weekend away
becomes something to look forward too, little steps each day xx

[Rights Fighter]

Well said Indigo - this is great advice. Some people have the answer (NFA or Charge) within weeks, while others can wait nearly two years - MyHome is still waiting after 19 months.

[myhome]

20 months and 8 days hon - not that I'm counting and getting truly wound up by it all

[Rights Fighter]

20 months and 8 days hon - not that I'm counting and getting truly wound up by it all

I sit corrected.......

Chigirl do keep coming back for support and advice.

[Chigirl]

It's disgusting the way they leave people hanging like this. We've not heard a bloody thing so far and dad is still very stressed about it. He talks about it everyday and is desperate to uproot and move miles away. It's just not fair.

[is there justice?]

I totally agree. It's bad enough when the FA isn't nearby.

The trouble is that these allegations make the innocent feel guilty. At least he is getting strong support from you and your family. I hope it gets sorted soon.

[Indigo]

The first sign of any bother from them, call the police.
This will go against them should it go to court, even hanging around your house can be deemed as harassment.
CCTV is a brilliant option, anything you can do to support your dad is worth while.

As your dad is your mums main carer he should also be able to get support from your local council.
There is no shame in going to your local GP and getting support for yourself and your dad.

Keep your chin up an push forward every day, whatever it takes.