False rape accusation / Defamation

[franceleigh]

Hi there,

I'm seeking justice against a false rape accusation against my dad and don't know where to start. Any help or advice is much appreciated.

My aunt (mum's sister-in-law) has accused my dad of raping her. Apparently, both my parents were staying at the uncle and aunts house. My uncle was out in the evening and didn't return till late. The other 3 had been drinking and all went to bed at same time in separate rooms. My aunt says that later in the night, my dad got into bed with her, she had her back turned away and thought it was my uncle. When she turned and realised it was my dad she said she didn't want this and he then pinned her down and had sex with her. This is absolutely insane! My parents stayed there for 2 nights, this was supposed to have happened on the first night. No one noticed anything was up with her, my dad cooked everyone a meal on the evening after the alleged rape (he cooks a lot) and she ate the whole plate and had a second helping. This doesn't sound like the actions of a victim of a serious attack. I asked my uncle about this and he said she didn't do anything and let them stay another day and night because she was terrified. I asked him if he noticed she was terrified or that anything was up and he said no. My uncle believes his wife was raped. I can't think why she would do this? Apart from attention seeking, I know she is a lonely person as my uncle isn't around a lot.

This did not happen and my dad has a medical problem meaning it would be impossible for the event to take place. I know my father, I know he is innocent and want to do anything in my power to clear his name and prove she is lying.

There has been no report to the police, and as far as I know she has only told her husband (my mum's brother). This has all been devastating for us as a family, me, my parents, sisters and my partner and daughter too. I want to take this to the police to get evidence and prove it did not happen. My uncle (the accusers husband) said that she told him that if the police investigated and found that it didn't happen she would commit suicide because of the shame. This seems like such a strange thing to say first off the bat so to speak.

My dad doesn't want me to go to the police even though he knows he's innocent, because he doesn't want to go through the hell of what's involved when he didn't do anything in the first place.

Can I sue for defamation as a 3rd party? To clear my dad's name? How much are legal costs to go ahead? I don't know where to begin!

Please help

[Heretowin]

Others will no doubt reply as to legal processes etc but I just felt I had to respond when I read your posting.

The first thing to say is that you must not go to the police. If you do then they will be duty bound to investigate the complaint and your dad will likely be arrested and questioned. Your aunt may feel obliged to follow through with the complaint and it will be the start of something long and painful regardless of the outcome.

You say that your dad has a medical problem that would make the rape impossible. If the police got involved then don't be surprised for the accusation to become attempted rape or sexual assault.

Angry as you are, you must respect your father's wishes and not report this.

I understand how you feel about this but many things in life are never just black or white and your quest to clear your father's name could create much bigger issues. Many on this site have wanted to sue their "false accusers" or the police but have come to realise that it would be impossible, be financially ruinous or take so long that they never get closure for years.

Believe in your dad, support both your parents and try to move on. I know this is not what you want to hear but you should trust the many on this site who have had their reputation, finances and health ruined by false accusations that had the police involved.

HTW

[franceleigh]

Thank you

Hi there,

Thanks for the reply, it's much appreciated and good to have an outside opinion and guidance. I'll take what you've said on board.

FL

Others will no doubt reply as to legal processes etc but I just felt I had to respond when I read your posting.

The first thing to say is that you must not go to the police. If you do then they will be duty bound to investigate the complaint and your dad will likely be arrested and questioned. Your aunt may feel obliged to follow through with the complaint and it will be the start of something long and painful regardless of the outcome.

You say that your dad has a medical problem that would make the rape impossible. If the police got involved then don't be surprised for the accusation to become attempted rape or sexual assault.

Angry as you are, you must respect your father's wishes and not report this.

I understand how you feel about this but many things in life are never just black or white and your quest to clear your father's name could create much bigger issues. Many on this site have wanted to sue their "false accusers" or the police but have come to realise that it would be impossible, be financially ruinous or take so long that they never get closure for years.

Believe in your dad, support both your parents and try to move on. I know this is not what you want to hear but you should trust the many on this site who have had their reputation, finances and health ruined by false accusations that had the police involved.

HTW

[myhome]

Hi FL - sorry to read of your dad's ordeal.
I completely agree with HTW - on no account should the police be told by you or him. They are not your friends; they are trained to believe in allegations no matter how ridiculous and far fetched they are, and also once knowing about an allegation they are duty bound to "investigate." This will indeed be a very lengthy and traumatic ordeal for everyone concerned. The traumatic impact of allegations on the accused and their family cannot be underestimated. If your aunt wants to report it - that's up to her. For now - your dad and mum should write everything down that happened over those 2 days while it's still fresh in their minds. This should be stored somewhere other than electronically where the police can't get it. If she does make an allegation to the police they may come and take electronic equipment such as pc/laptop/phone etc. If he is interviewed then he MUST have a solicitor with him and not tell the police anything other than what they ask.
Your dad could well find that having written everything down, it will be quite cathartic and a release of a lot of tension.
Please let us know what happens.

[franceleigh]

Thanks

Thanks MH - this really helps.

FL

Hi FL - sorry to read of your dad's ordeal.
I completely agree with HTW - on no account should the police be told by you or him. They are not your friends; they are trained to believe in allegations no matter how ridiculous and far fetched they are, and also once knowing about an allegation they are duty bound to "investigate." This will indeed be a very lengthy and traumatic ordeal for everyone concerned. The traumatic impact of allegations on the accused and their family cannot be underestimated. If your aunt wants to report it - that's up to her. For now - your dad and mum should write everything down that happened over those 2 days while it's still fresh in their minds. This should be stored somewhere other than electronically where the police can't get it. If she does make an allegation to the police they may come and take electronic equipment such as pc/laptop/phone etc. If he is interviewed then he MUST have a solicitor with him and not tell the police anything other than what they ask.
Your dad could well find that having written everything down, it will be quite cathartic and a release of a lot of tension.
Please let us know what happens.

[lawlessone2009]

My uncle (the accusers husband) said that she told him that if the police investigated and found that it didn't happen she would commit suicide because of the shame. This seems like such a strange thing to say first off the bat so to speak.

If possible confront the aunt with your uncle present. Tell her that you are going to the Police and that first you need her to clarify that statement.

You WOULD NOT make that statement unless you were lying.

As for the Police. They are not going to investigate anything beyond getting enough evidence to prosecute your father.

I would tell your aunt that she is doing a massive injustice to genuine victims of rape.

Don't be afraid to apply some pressure and judge the reaction. The reaction will tell you what you need to know. If you've already had a reaction and it has told you what you need to know then I would just leave it be, there is little ground to be covered by stirring everything up again.

Your father will forever after have to avoid that woman. It's unfortunate and sad but that is the way it is. I would potentially also avoid her if I was you, do not stay over and do not spend time alone with her.


Welcome to the forum.

[Rights Fighter]

Please do NOT threaten to go to the police. If you do then the complainant/her husband may well get in there first and then the whole articulated lorry of a one-side "investigation" will rumble into action. Most of the time the police will not investigate anything that could assist the defence case.

I've just worked on an appeal where the complainant claimed that lots of adults were present and would have seen the alleged assaults. There was nothing in the paperwork to suggest that the police spoke to these potential witnesses. My guess is, they did and they weren't helpful. My guess is that the police have hidden their statements and/or interview transcripts so that the defence could not make use of them.

The police and CPS are under pressure to meet Government set rape conviction targets and many will do anything, repeat anything, to do whatever it takes in order to obtain such convictions.

Do not go to the police. Do not threaten to go to the police. If you do, it may well end in tears.....

[lawlessone2009]

Please do NOT threaten to go to the police. If you do then the complainant/her husband may well get in there first and then the whole articulated lorry of a one-side "investigation" will rumble into action. Most of the time the police will not investigate anything that could assist the defence case.

I've just worked on an appeal where the complainant claimed that lots of adults were present and would have seen the alleged assaults. There was nothing in the paperwork to suggest that the police spoke to these potential witnesses. My guess is, they did and they weren't helpful. My guess is that the police have hidden their statements and/or interview transcripts so that the defence could not make use of them.

The police and CPS are under pressure to meet Government set rape conviction targets and many will do anything, repeat anything, to do whatever it takes in order to obtain such convictions.

Do not go to the police. Do not threaten to go to the police. If you do, it may well end in tears.....

I'm sorry.

RF is completely correct.

I was attempting, badly (VERY badly!), to encourage you to abstract an admittal.

Don't go to the Police and don't threaten it either.

Sorry.

[Rights Fighter]

Smackety smack!! xxx

[can it get worse]

Just a thought??

It's just a thought but if you do have any conversations with her and her husband, you could try to record it without her knowledge. Just in case she does say something which could incriminate her and be used at a later stage if need be.

This may not be great advice though as I have no knowledge of any legal implications of this. It may be worth waiting for RF to respond to this.

Sorry to hear of you very unfortunate experience.

At this stage - I would write every thing down, including dates etc.

People who tell lies often trip themselves up.

[Rights Fighter]

I believe that recorded conversations without the third party's knowledge is usually not admitted into evidence in a criminal trial. Better to have somebody over hearing the convo as a 'hearsay' witness'.

[lawlessone2009]

I believe that recorded conversations without the third party's knowledge is usually not admitted into evidence in a criminal trial. Better to have somebody over hearing the convo as a 'hearsay' witness'.

Indeed.


As for the OPs position. As a third party you have two issues:

1. The guilt or innocence of your father in a criminal sense.
2. The guilt or innocence of your father in a personal sense.


I got the distinct impression that you were wanting to solve your own personal sense which is why I recommended the 'confront' strategy that was perfectly and correctly shot down by RF. My impression was that you were wanting to believe your father 100% but you were left with that missing percentage that you wanted to completely set yourself at ease with having solved and confirmed.

The method I was wrongly encouraging would've most likely have resulted in the 'criminal sense' having to be dealt with when your aunt ran away to the Police to unleash her allegations.

There is no simple method unfortunately. You either stay satisfied with your beliefs or risk things progressing to a more serious level.